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Margee

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Finally bit the bullet and registered to post. I thought it might help with the continued flashes of guilt and fear as I manage my life out from under God's thumb. This place has already been a big help, so thank you.

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Finally bit the bullet and registered to post. I thought it might help with the continued flashes of guilt and fear as I manage my life out from under God's thumb. This place has already been a big help, so thank you.

 

Welcome to ex-C.net. Hopefully the flashes of guilt and fear disappear and you become free from Christianity.

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Hello all.

 

I left Christianity behind about four years ago, and I think I've mostly freed myself from the mindset of unnecessary guilt...well, you all understand what I mean by that, I imagine.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest r3alchild

I wish I could bring my christian friends here, one in paticular I feel needs this site compared to all the love bombing christians he is surround by. If he only knew that people do that, his skeptic mind would kick in.

 

I came here years ago when this site first open but I thought I needed a credit card to join so I left. But I came back and started reading the post and I thought. All these people are like me, it was amazing. I never thought bible error and critiziem went so far. I was blown away, I was so happy that I can have ex christian fellowship. I had to praise something, so I said, thankyou speghetti monster I know you want me to be here.

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I wish I could bring my christian friends here, one in paticular I feel needs this site compared to all the love bombing christians he is surround by. If he only knew that people do that, his skeptic mind would kick in.

 

I came here years ago when this site first open but I thought I needed a credit card to join so I left. But I came back and started reading the post and I thought. All these people are like me, it was amazing. I never thought bible error and critiziem went so far. I was blown away, I was so happy that I can have ex christian fellowship. I had to praise something, so I said, thankyou speghetti monster I know you want me to be here.

 

chrissyavrous...I want to give you a warm welcome to EX-c! I am glad you are here with us!!

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Me too, thanks for all the fact bombing.

 

Yeah, the fact bombing has been AMAZING!!  It has really helped me out of any guilt I felt for not being "good enough" to "keep the faith" so to speak. Sometimes I still feel panicky and "what if I lead someone astray?!"  But then I keep telling myself I am not responsible for the actions or choices of others and think to all the information this site has provided me with. 

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Guest r3alchild

 

 

Me too, thanks for all the fact bombing.

Yeah, the fact bombing has been AMAZING!! It has really helped me out of any guilt I felt for not being "good enough" to "keep the faith" so to speak. Sometimes I still feel panicky and "what if I lead someone astray?!" But then I keep telling myself I am not responsible for the actions or choices of others and think to all the information this site has provided me with.

In christian land, this is called searing your conscience with a hot iron. A tactic christians use to manipulate people and of course themselfs.

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hey, everyone! i've been lurking on this site for the past week, so i figured what the hey, why not join it? that said, i'm happy to be here. as far as religion goes, like i say in my profile, i grew up nonreligious. i can count on one hand how many times i even set foot in a church growing up. i went to this little hole in the wall storefront church with a friend back in middle school a couple times, and i never went back. yeah, it was that bad. long story short, experience has taught me that organized religion and i aren't friends. fortunately i was only a visitor at the churches i went to, and i'm glad i left before any formal involvement started.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi everyone, I’ve been lurking here now and again for a few weeks and decided to join up and share my story:

 

 

Way back in the mists of time when I was eighteen years old, I had a conversion experience on my very first visit to a Pentecostal AOG church. Straight away, instead of being allowed space to figure out what this experience meant for me, I was given a package (metaphorically speaking) containing what I should believe and how I should behave etc. I took the package on board thinking and believing it was the authentic way to be. 
After all, I’d just had this amazing experience so this organisation was where the truth must be, right? :-s
 
After four years I outgrew that church and moved to a Christian Fellowship which had more sympathy with alternative branches of Christianity (eg. Catholicism <shock-horror> and Celtic Christianity) I started growing again but after about three years hit a ceiling and then just started questioning the whole church thing. I eventually left in 1995 but with my faith still intact for some years.
 
It wasn’t until after my husband died suddenly (in a stupid, pointless accident) in 2005 that I started questioning Christianity itself. The God I had been taught to believe in somehow didn’t measure up, indeed seemed completely impotent as I struggled through grief. I felt completely abandoned. I journeyed alone and drew on my own inner resources. (Don’t talk to me about Footprints in the Sand ......bleuuuurgh)
 
As you may imagine this has completely changed my attitude to life and belief and I’m more of an existentialist these days. It was as if Christianity was a kind of garment I had been wearing for years which was becoming worn out, threadbare and gradually falling apart until one day I noticed it had fallen away completely- quite stoically I might add. The thing is -something that I can’t get my head round - whatever it was that happened to me on the day I had my conversion experience has stayed with me and changed my life. Was it God? Was it something inside myself which was unlocked?
 
I can honestly say I feel free and happy and although I mull over questions about God, spirituality and truth etc. I’m not agonising over them and am content with the mystery of everything. What I’m trying to say is that it’s not a struggle for me anymore. I can’t ever imagine going back to the evangelical fold - except maybe to stir things up ;-)  If there is a God who is all powerful, all knowing etc. then that God is far too big to be contained by such a thing as Christianity. And if there isn’t I don’t see it as a tragedy; this life is beautiful!  As Jack Kerouac said, “Life is holy and every moment is precious.”
 
Thanks for listening :-)
 
PS Anyone know how I can change my user name? Thanks
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Welcome uol. I'm so glad you have come out of lurking! I don't get a chance to post very often anymore because of time, but I  still love to sit here and read.

 

 I related so much to your story in just about everyway including the timing....I was 19. But I remember the night as if it were yesterday. The promise they made to me that night was beyond anything, anybody ever told me in my life. That I was so special, I was now going to be protected by this god, I was going to be 'used in the kingdom of god' and famous. I was told that I was now on the steps of the golden doorway to heaven and would NEVER have to worry again about going to hell. I thought I was all grown up at 19. I remember being 19. It seems like yesterday to me. But I was so young and innocent to be told such promising things.  Life continued to be a struggle for me....all though the years, shitty thing after shitty thing kept happening. Where was this god who promised to keep me from all harm? I started to question like you.....

 

It was all emotions hon. They manipulated us with our emotions. I understand what you are talking about when you say, 'the experience'. I'll never forget it....but it was an emotional experience...

 

Welcome to EX-c. You have found a great web-site. Big hug to you.

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Uol- you word things so beautifully my dear dear friend.   Here's my deconversion story I was telling you about:

 

http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/54326-the-silence-has-got-too-loud/        wink.png

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Thanks Margee and BlackCat- nice to see you on here BlackCat wink.png

 

I often idly wonder if I could have had the same conversion experience say in an Indian ashram or a Kingdom Hall.

 

I’ll tell you what though, although my de-conversion has been a long process taking place over a number years and largely on a sub-conscious level, now that I have left Christianity behind I feel the same sort of elation that I did when I first became a Christian. It’s as though I’m experiencing the world anew; like being born again again.

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Hi Uol :)  You might find this recent discussion interesting:  http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/55647-something-i-cant-explain/

 

It's discussing 'experiences', that different people had.  It seems to me, that people experience similar things, regardless of which  religion or spiritual path they follow.  :)

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Have been an exchristian (heh, a term I have never used of myself before!) for almost two years now. I married a christian woman 14 years ago, second marriage. I have not told her yet, but it is becoming clear that she knows. We stopped going to church about 9 months ago. I have not forbidden her to go but she has not asked either - we used to go together and take the grandkids if they were available to go.

I was a born again, bible believing, Christ centered and zealous believer. I studied the bible continuously, prayed regularly, held household bible study/prayer meetings and went to as many church meetings as I could, including evenings. I yearned for more of him and the holy spirit. I believed in a literal 6 day creation - I was about as "christian" as you can get.

About 5 years ago, I started getting heavily involved in apologetics, primarily on CARM. Eventually, some facts that the "evolutionists" were posting started raising questions in my mind but I stubbornly clung to my christian faith for two years, but the battering ram of truth, facts, common sense, logic and rational thought gradually overcame the resistance to the point where I accepted first of all, and OEC point of view. From there I went to T.E., then agnostic and finally an a-theist worldview. The journey from OEC to a-theist took about 2 years.

Telling this story on open, christian/a-theist forums has brought sympathetic approval from the a-theists, and mostly derision and denial of my former christianity from the christians.

This does not concern me.

On a personal note, I have found real, true freedom. It is difficult to describe, but peace comes to mind, and also a realization that once I die, there will be oblivion for me and everyone else - no bogeymen or gods, just nothingness, which is a difficult concept for us as we are only familiar with consciousness.

For those struggling with their faith on this issue, I can assure you there is nothing to fear - surely, the truth WILL set your free.

ad.

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Hi, I keep trying to post my story but nothing comes up?

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I will try here.

 

I was raised as a Catholic. Dad was a problem drinker,mother was depressed and anxious. Large family and poor. Lots of Cathoilc symbols up, broken or cracked where dad had broke them when drunk - 'why had God not cured his drinking etc'.

 

I began reading Gideon's bible every day from aged 11 and was terrified  to stop; the only things i really recall is Jesus talkign about people going to a place where the fire never goes out and there is grinding of teeth. I didnt want to go there. Didnt i love Jesus....oh yeah , i love you, i love you, please dont hit me, please dont send me to hell' . I have come across such abusive relationships in my job.

A teacher at school told us that if we masturbated we would go to hell.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most o fmy life. I have phases where i went to confession more than once a day because of haign sexual thoughts.

I fear death, because of the spectre of hell. I hope it is all just like a sleep that goes on, not a nightmare.

Have i felt God in my life in all that time? An answer to prayers? I have had hands on healing - nothing. I must not believe enough. Medication has helped with my depression but my thoughts is where the problem lies and my thoughts have been shaped from a young age with this crap.

There are people at work who were raised in secular households. They are invariably happy and well- balanced.

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Welcome, aussiedave and NotaRock!

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Have been an exchristian (heh, a term I have never used of myself before!) for almost two years now. I married a christian woman 14 years ago, second marriage. I have not told her yet, but it is becoming clear that she knows. We stopped going to church about 9 months ago. I have not forbidden her to go but she has not asked either - we used to go together and take the grandkids if they were available to go.

I was a born again, bible believing, Christ centered and zealous believer. I studied the bible continuously, prayed regularly, held household bible study/prayer meetings and went to as many church meetings as I could, including evenings. I yearned for more of him and the holy spirit. I believed in a literal 6 day creation - I was about as "christian" as you can get.

About 5 years ago, I started getting heavily involved in apologetics, primarily on CARM. Eventually, some facts that the "evolutionists" were posting started raising questions in my mind but I stubbornly clung to my christian faith for two years, but the battering ram of truth, facts, common sense, logic and rational thought gradually overcame the resistance to the point where I accepted first of all, and OEC point of view. From there I went to T.E., then agnostic and finally an a-theist worldview. The journey from OEC to a-theist took about 2 years.

Telling this story on open, christian/a-theist forums has brought sympathetic approval from the a-theists, and mostly derision and denial of my former christianity from the christians.

This does not concern me.

On a personal note, I have found real, true freedom. It is difficult to describe, but peace comes to mind, and also a realization that once I die, there will be oblivion for me and everyone else - no bogeymen or gods, just nothingness, which is a difficult concept for us as we are only familiar with consciousness.

For those struggling with their faith on this issue, I can assure you there is nothing to fear - surely, the truth WILL set your free.

ad.

 

 

I will try here.

 

I was raised as a Catholic. Dad was a problem drinker,mother was depressed and anxious. Large family and poor. Lots of Cathoilc symbols up, broken or cracked where dad had broke them when drunk - 'why had God not cured his drinking etc'.

 

I began reading Gideon's bible every day from aged 11 and was terrified  to stop; the only things i really recall is Jesus talkign about people going to a place where the fire never goes out and there is grinding of teeth. I didnt want to go there. Didnt i love Jesus....oh yeah , i love you, i love you, please dont hit me, please dont send me to hell' . I have come across such abusive relationships in my job.

A teacher at school told us that if we masturbated we would go to hell.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most o fmy life. I have phases where i went to confession more than once a day because of haign sexual thoughts.

I fear death, because of the spectre of hell. I hope it is all just like a sleep that goes on, not a nightmare.

Have i felt God in my life in all that time? An answer to prayers? I have had hands on healing - nothing. I must not believe enough. Medication has helped with my depression but my thoughts is where the problem lies and my thoughts have been shaped from a young age with this crap.

There are people at work who were raised in secular households. They are invariably happy and well- balanced.

 

 

Welcome to EX-c  aussiedave and NotaRock! Thanks for sharing your stories. You need never be alone with your doubting thoughts again on this site. We are all in this together. We can relate to so much you write. And, we can help one another through all the questions and fears that come from deconverting from the christian faith. Post everyone of your questions and concerns and someone will gladly jump in to help you along your new path. Looking forward to hearing more from both of you.

 

Sincerely, Margee

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Hello and welcome to Ex-C, aussiedave and NotaRock.  Thanks for telling us your stories.  It's always so encouraging when another ex-c'er joins our crowd.   The more people who "see the light" and leave christinsanity, the better off the world will be.

 

Aussiedave--there are lots of us here who are married to believers (including myself).   So welcome to the Unequally Yoked Club also.

 

NotaRock--I was raised catholic and there are some ex-catholics here too.

 

Hope you both enjoy your time here.   

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Thank you Margee and Buffettphan,

 

I do feel very welcomed. I have been visting for months and reading alot.

 

I have previously found myself wishign that the Christian thign was a myth and that death was the end. I have never been a gambling man and the idea of hell did not make the lure of heaven worth it. If you have ever had anxiety or depression the idea of eternal suffering is jsut so terrifying.

 

I was noce on holiday with my family and had to divert to a church so that i coudl confess havign looked at pornography. Just in case i had a fatal car accident. It's terrible to a sensitive mind.

 

I just cant equate the love/hell dynamic.

I dont think it any accident that Catholic men loved/ gave hell to their wives!

 

I will post- thank you.

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Have been an exchristian (heh, a term I have never used of myself before!) for almost two years now. I married a christian woman 14 years ago, second marriage. I have not told her yet, but it is becoming clear that she knows. We stopped going to church about 9 months ago. I have not forbidden her to go but she has not asked either - we used to go together and take the grandkids if they were available to go.

I was a born again, bible believing, Christ centered and zealous believer. I studied the bible continuously, prayed regularly, held household bible study/prayer meetings and went to as many church meetings as I could, including evenings. I yearned for more of him and the holy spirit. I believed in a literal 6 day creation - I was about as "christian" as you can get.

About 5 years ago, I started getting heavily involved in apologetics, primarily on CARM. Eventually, some facts that the "evolutionists" were posting started raising questions in my mind but I stubbornly clung to my christian faith for two years, but the battering ram of truth, facts, common sense, logic and rational thought gradually overcame the resistance to the point where I accepted first of all, and OEC point of view. From there I went to T.E., then agnostic and finally an a-theist worldview. The journey from OEC to a-theist took about 2 years.

Telling this story on open, christian/a-theist forums has brought sympathetic approval from the a-theists, and mostly derision and denial of my former christianity from the christians.

This does not concern me.

On a personal note, I have found real, true freedom. It is difficult to describe, but peace comes to mind, and also a realization that once I die, there will be oblivion for me and everyone else - no bogeymen or gods, just nothingness, which is a difficult concept for us as we are only familiar with consciousness.

For those struggling with their faith on this issue, I can assure you there is nothing to fear - surely, the truth WILL set your free.

ad.

 

 

>I will try here.

 

I was raised as a Catholic. Dad was a problem drinker,mother was depressed and anxious. Large family and poor. Lots of Cathoilc symbols up, broken or cracked where dad had broke them when drunk - 'why had God not cured his drinking etc'.

 

I began reading Gideon's bible every day from aged 11 and was terrified  to stop; the only things i really recall is Jesus talkign about people going to a place where the fire never goes out and there is grinding of teeth. I didnt want to go there. Didnt i love Jesus....oh yeah , i love you, i love you, please dont hit me, please dont send me to hell' . I have come across such abusive relationships in my job.

A teacher at school told us that if we masturbated we would go to hell.

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most o fmy life. I have phases where i went to confession more than once a day because of haign sexual thoughts.

I fear death, because of the spectre of hell. I hope it is all just like a sleep that goes on, not a nightmare.

Have i felt God in my life in all that time? An answer to prayers? I have had hands on healing - nothing. I must not believe enough. Medication has helped with my depression but my thoughts is where the problem lies and my thoughts have been shaped from a young age with this crap.

There are people at work who were raised in secular households. They are invariably happy and well- balanced.

 

 

Welcome to EX-c  aussiedave and NotaRock! Thanks for sharing your stories. You need never be alone with your doubting thoughts again on this site. We are all in this together. We can relate to so much you write. And, we can help one another through all the questions and fears that come from deconverting from the christian faith. Post everyone of your questions and concerns and someone will gladly jump in to help you along your new path. Looking forward to hearing more from both of you.

 

Sincerely, Margee

 

Thanks Margee - the "evolutionists" and atheists were quite welcoming over on the CARM forums after I deconverted and encouraged me as I progressed away from the yec mindset. I still post there regularly and have some friendly acquaintances there.

It is liberating how much my thoughts have changed over the last few years and I am quite settled and content.

Thanks for the encouragement!

ad.

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Hi there 

 

 

I am new here, and want to thank you for this site, it is great not to be alone. 

 

I have been a Christian for 25 years, I have Christian parents, Christian wife, Christian colleges, and guess what: I am send out as a missionary (doing a practical job thow).

 

The road leading me to become an atheist is mainly that science doesn’t support the Bible, which I used to believe. Science and namely evolution is something difficult to discuss with my Christian friends. It is like they seems to want to avoid the facts and prefere to ignore them.

 

 

I am wondering if there are other ex-missionaries here?

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Hi there 

 

 

I am new here, and want to thank you for this site, it is great not to be alone. 

 

I have been a Christian for 25 years, I have Christian parents, Christian wife, Christian colleges, and guess what: I am send out as a missionary (doing a practical job thow).

 

The road leading me to become an atheist is mainly that science doesn’t support the Bible, which I used to believe. Science and namely evolution is something difficult to discuss with my Christian friends. It is like they seems to want to avoid the facts and prefere to ignore them.

 

 

 

I am wondering if there are other ex-missionaries here?

 

Hello Dan.  :)

 

I know that this member (Stephen J Hurlin) is an ex-missionary.  http://www.ex-christian.net/user/6515-stevomuso/

 

He hasn't been active in this forum for over three years, so I'm not sure if he'll respond, should you think of messaging him privately.  However, there's a link to his site at the bottom of his profile page. 

 

http://couragetodoubt.blogspot.com/

 

Maybe you could reach him that way?

You'll note that he was a missionary in South Africa and (to the best of my knowledge) that's where he's still located.  I see you're in Zambia.  Wouldn't it be great if the two of you could link up?

 

Btw, I developed a profound respect for Steve while he was here and I really wish he'd make a return. 

 

Anyway, welcome to the forum and please feel free to ask us any question that comes to mind.  we're here to help and be helped.  :)

 

Thanks,

 

BAA

 

p.s.

Please don't be put off by the satanic-looking Mr. Spock.  That image is intended to scare the Christians who come here, not the ex-Christians, ok?

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I am wondering if there are other ex-missionaries here?

 

I could have sworn there was at least one other member who either is or used to be a missionary who was active on the board recently, but I can't recall who it was.

 

Welcome to Ex-C!

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