Afraid to leave Christianity

[Guest sideshowj]

Hi. I'm new to this forum. I would like to share my concerns.

 

Today I was doubting my faith. I was debating with myself about how people prefer the legend of a person over the facts, and it got me thinking that maybe Chrisitianity is a myth. I was thinking maybe people believe it because they need hope and something positive in their lives. But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself. I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks. I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again. I tend to be a dependent, clingy person, and I'm afraid to be responsible for myself.

Can anyone help me with this?

[Ouroboros]

Hi. I'm new to this forum. I would like to share my concerns.

Welcome SideShowJ! Hope you can find some of the answer you want on this site.

 

Today I was doubting my faith. I was debating with myself about how people prefer the legend of a person over the facts, and it got me thinking that maybe Chrisitianity is a myth. I was thinking maybe people believe it because they need hope and something positive in their lives. But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

Wow! What a situation! Many of us have been in the same boat, so you're not alone.

 

To give you an answer, I think people believe because they need something to believe in, and some need the hope, just like you're saying. And to believe in a higher power is one thing, but for many it's easier to believe what other people believe, instead of searching your own personal faith.

 

I left Christianity, and nothing happened. Actually, my deconversion got strengthened just because nothing happened. I wanted something to happen, but it didn't. My life is better now instead. Weird I tell ya'. In my last prayer I asked "God" to give me something that could give me faith back, and nothing happened, and I'm still waiting.

 

To leave a faith you've had for a very long time can be really scary and somewhat difficult, but also very rewarding.

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself. I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks. I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again. I tend to be a dependent, clingy person, and I'm afraid to be responsible for myself.

Can anyone help me with this?

106190[/snapback]

It's a matter of growing up and mature in personal responsibility and "spirit". You'll discover that by trusting yourself only, there's no magical sky-daddy that will save your day every time you screw up, and you have nothing that would make you disappointed. When things go bad, and you pray, and nothing happens, it creates more frustration than if you just accept that things just happens, and you have to deal with it the best way you can.

 

There's a lot of people here that will respond, and give you hints and ideas for the future that lies ahead of you.

 

Good luck.

[Caretaker]

Hi. I'm new to this forum. I would like to share my concerns.

 

Today I was doubting my faith. I was debating with myself about how people prefer the legend of a person over the facts, and it got me thinking that maybe Chrisitianity is a myth. I was thinking maybe people believe it because they need hope and something positive in their lives. But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself. I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks. I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again. I tend to be a dependent, clingy person, and I'm afraid to be responsible for myself.

Can anyone help me with this?

106190[/snapback]

Welcome!

 

You should probably pull up a chair, get to know us, and some of the Christians who are also members of this board. You face a really difficult decision, one not to be taken quickly and without thought. There is alot to learn here.

[MQTA]

Perhaps you are really afraid of SUCCESS.

 

Succeeding on your own, very frightful.

 

Maybe you're afraid of the opposite, you will reward yourself with a freedom you've never imagined. The Dark Side is what's holding your grasp.

 

Maybe the first step is to really understand why the NT is reverse engineered from the OT, not the Hebrew OT, but the Greek translation.

 

There's more information out there on the web today than has ever been available in our history.

 

MyStory link below has plenty of links to help ya break free of the chains you realize are invisible.

[Caretaker]

And yes, the worst that can possibly happen from leaving Christianity is backlash from family and friends. (That is, if they remain friends after the fact)

[Guest sideshowj]

Perhaps you are really afraid of SUCCESS.

 

Succeeding on your own, very frightful.

 

I don't underdstand. How could I be afraid of success? What do you mean by this?

I never understood fear of success.

 

Maybe you're afraid of the opposite, you will reward yourself with a freedom you've never imagined.  The Dark Side is what's holding your grasp.

 

Maybe the first step is to really understand why the NT is reverse engineered from the OT, not the Hebrew OT, but the Greek translation.

 

There's more information out there on the web today than has ever been available in our history. 

 

MyStory link below has plenty of links to help ya break free of the chains you realize are invisible.

106197[/snapback]

[Guest sideshowj]

"

"Perhaps you are really afraid of SUCCESS.

 

Succeeding on your own, very frightful."

 

 

I don't understand. How could I be afraid of success? What do you mean by that?

[MQTA]

"

"Perhaps you are really afraid of SUCCESS.

 

Succeeding on your own, very frightful."

 

 

I don't understand. How could I be afraid of success? What do you mean by that?

106214[/snapback]

 

The fear of success is higher than the fear of bad things happening. You can't imagine what life would be like, until you do it, and you're afraid to do it. But you've come to the right place, many here have been where you are now.

[Mike D]

But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

106190[/snapback]

Hi,

 

I wouldn't worry about this too much. Since I left Christianity I quit smoking (cold turkey even), I am making more money than I ever thought possible, my stress level has gone down, and I am enjoying life more. No deaths or disasters in the family either. At this point I would say its safe to assume that not only did my life not fall apart when I left Christianity, but it got quite a bit better.

 

If Jesus is real, did he bless me for deciding he doesn't exist, the Bible is nothing but a myth and a lie, and for becoming an atheist?

 

IMO, I think people get so dependant on Christianity (and religion in general) that they become superstitious and fearful of living without it. The reality of life is that good and bad things happen to Christians and non-Christians alike, so whether you stay or leave, both will happen.

 

Whatever you decide, good luck!

[qadeshet]

You may or may not be ready for de-conversion. The following article may help you clarify your position.

 

Advice from an Agnostic Baptist Minister

[♦ nivek ♦]

First thing ya do amigo is get off AOHell, the internet with training wheels.

 

Next thing ya do buds, is not share an IP with the doofus who trolls and spams the Shoutbox with the "Oh gosh I have doubts and don't know what to do" bullshit on an almost daily basis.

 

Next to last thing to do is PM via the system messenger and talk to me in private.

If you aren't my Troll, I apologize and will remedy the moderated posting that I am putting on this account.

 

Last thing is that folks here are serious about your journey, the Boss has provided a cool venue to help people with legitimate questions and problems.

 

Waiting for that PM.

 

kevinL

1215PDT 11132005

[Caretaker]

First ting ya do amigo is get off AOHell, the internet with training wheels.

 

Next thing ya do buds, is not share an IP with the doofus who trolls and spams the Shoutbox with the "Oh gosh I have doubts and don't know what to do" bullshit on an almost daily basis.

 

Next to last thing to do is PM via the system messenger and talk to me in private.

if you aren't my Troll, I apologize and will remedy the moderated posting that I am putting on this account.

 

Last thing is that folks here are serious about your journey, the Boss has provided a coo, venue to help people with legitimate questions and problems.

 

Waiting for that PM.

 

kevinL

1215PDT 11132005

106257[/snapback]

Heh.. Nice catch...

[Pariah]

But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

 

I thought that too, at first, but things have overall gotten better since I deconverted.

Just be wary of dishonestly construing bad events as "God's wrath".

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself.

 

Just think, if God doesn't really exist youve already been responsible for yourself this whole time, you just didn't know it.

 

I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again.

 

Again, if God never existed then the result of not praying will be essentially the same as the result of praying.

 

I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks.

 

It's possible, but even if this did happen you'd be able to get through it, especially with the resources of this website (I was depressed for a little while after deconverting, but it passed quickly). Anyway, you shouldn't let that stop you from pursuing the truth, whatever it may be.

 

It sounds from your original post that you already don't believe, you just are afraid to commit to non-belief.

[Guest sideshowj]

I left Christianity, and nothing happened. Actually, my deconversion got strengthened just because nothing happened. I wanted something to happen, but it didn't. My life is better now instead. Weird I tell ya'. In my last prayer I asked "God" to give me something that could give me faith back, and nothing happened, and I'm still waiting.

 

 

It's a matter of growing up and mature in personal responsibility and "spirit". You'll discover that by trusting yourself only, there's no magical sky-daddy that will save your day every time you screw up, and you have nothing that would make you disappointed. When things go bad, and you pray, and nothing happens, it creates more frustration than if you just accept that things just happens, and you have to deal with it the best way you can.

 

There's a lot of people here that will respond, and give you hints and ideas for the future that lies ahead of you.

 

Good luck.

106195[/snapback]

[/quote\\\

 

I was sure something bad would happen to me if I left Chrisitanity. Sometimes I would watch the 700 Club for laughs, and they always showed how someone left their faith and fell in with a bad crowd, only to go back to Jesus in the end.

I find it hard to believe that something terrible won't happen to me if I leave the faith.

Another thing I noticed about myself is that I only seem to believe when I'm really scared, or someone close to me dies. That's when I really need God. But I find it hard to believe in him otherwise. It's like, when I need him, I'm faithful. But when I don't, I'm not faithful. I suck, don't I? I would make a terrible girlfriend.

[Poonis]

Hi. I'm new to this forum. I would like to share my concerns.

 

Today I was doubting my faith. I was debating with myself about how people prefer the legend of a person over the facts, and it got me thinking that maybe Chrisitianity is a myth. I was thinking maybe people believe it because they need hope and something positive in their lives. But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself. I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks. I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again. I tend to be a dependent, clingy person, and I'm afraid to be responsible for myself.

Can anyone help me with this?

106190[/snapback]

 

Fear. The overbearing tone of your post is fear and nothing else. This is common, however, with those who are beginning to doubt their faith. What was once a rock upon which you built your life around is now turning into quicksand.

 

You are at the beginning of your de-conversion; the seeds of doubt will overthrow any belief. The longer your de-conversion takes, the greater the religious bubble you lived in. For some people, it takes only a short while. For christians born into christianity (such as myself), it may take years to undo the damage. If you are the later, you will find you will sway back and forth to christianity and rejection thereof for awhile.

 

The best thing to ask yourself is this:

 

If my god is true, he will hold true through any onslaught of questioning and doubt, for what damage can words and thought do to a god that exists?

[Vixentrox]

So many of us have walked in the same shoes. For the majority of us i think, our lives dramatically IMPROVED after breaking the chains of christianity.

[Pariah]

Another thing I noticed about myself is that I only seem to believe when I'm really scared, or someone close to me dies. That's when I really need God.

 

Even if you can't let go of the idea of God yet, do you really need Christianity?

 

I suck, don't I?

 

No, you're just a victim of a religious cult who is starting to see the truth.

 

BTW, how old are you, just wondering? I'm 16 and I just deconverted last year.

[Mythra]

There is a verse in the bible about the "destruction of the flesh" in order to save the soul.

 

The "once saved, always saved" sects of christianity assert that once you accept christ, if you try to walk away, God will "take you home" before you can lose your salvation.

 

I got to the point where I preferred to die than to continue to be bound up by christianity.. But, I didn't die. Nothing bad happened at all.

 

I'm doing just fine. Happy. Not protective of my thought life. Not living in fear anymore. Able to scoff and ridicule fundamental christians who threaten hell on a daily basis.

 

I've looked into things enough to be convinced that christianity is a fraud.

 

Hope you can find your way to clear thinking and join lots of us who have escaped the confines of religion.

[Checkmate]

Hello, sideshowj! Welcome to the world of free thought.

 

The fear and apprehension you feel upon leaving your religion is natural. In fact, it is a result of the programming from the cult. That is one of their safeguards utilized to keep the "sheep" from thinking/leaving.

 

Religion, in this case, Christianity, is founded upon FOUR cornerstones. DECEPTION, FEAR, GUILT and SELF-DECEPTION. (Gullibility is the mortar that cements them in place.)

 

First you were DECEIVED into believing nonsense. That nonsense being FEAR of God and death, and GUILT for being a "sinner" that "god" hates. And to keep you on this merry-go-round of idiocy, you have been trained to keep yourself SELF-DECEIVED. Telling yourself that it was all true, that god would bless you for believing and curse you for NOT believing. This way, even when the other Christians aren't around to bamboozle you, you kept yourself deluded by repeating the mantra and company line.

 

But now, something wonderful and scary has happened. The last cornerstone, self-deception has taken a hit. You've removed the blindfold. You've opened your eyes and begun to THINK. Something heretofore forbidden by the "church". Something that YOU have been trained to believe is a "sin". You are now conflicted.

 

How can something like THINKING for yourself be wrong? It isn't.

 

Sideshowj, you are on but the FIRST step on the road to recovery. The first, and most difficult. And why? Because those other things, FEAR and GUILT, have not been dealt with and exposed for the crap that they are. My suggestion to you is to continue examining. What you have to be afraid of? Why have you been made to feel guilty? Once you see that there is nothing there but smoke and mirrors, (The Wizard of Oz is just an old man pulling levers!) THEN you'll feel more comfortable in your skin.

 

Trust us. There is NOTHING to be afraid of. Most of us are apostates. The ground never opened and swallowed us alive. Lightning never struck any of us for unbelief or "blasphemy". And any heart attacks, tornadoes or car wrecks (if any) were purely coincidental.

 

You are safe to question, doubt AND quit. Feel free to hang around this site and get your bearings. That's what we're here for.

 

And again, "welcome!"

[Vigile]

I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

106190[/snapback]

 

Hi Sideshowj,

 

FWIW, my life has gotten exponentially better since leaving it all behind: better financially, better relationship-wise, better emotionally, and generally, much more interesting.

 

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself. I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks. I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again. I tend to be a dependent, clingy person, and I'm afraid to be responsible for myself.

Can anyone help me with this?

106190[/snapback]

 

Right now you cling to an idea, nothing more. Why not replace this idea with something more tangible? Go back to school, start a business, change jobs, whatever. Now you probably believe something along the lines of "god helps those who help themselves." I suggest you dump the first part of that sentance and just make an effort to help yourself. You might be surprised at how much liberty you will feel in doing so.

 

I went through a greiving process when I first lost my faith. It was at first hard to imagine that I was doing it all on my own without help from a magic man in the sky, but later I realized that I had in fact always been doing it on my own, I just didn't realize it at the time.

[Guest sideshowj]

Another thing I noticed about myself is that I only seem to believe when I'm really scared, or someone close to me dies. That's when I really need God.

 

Even if you can't let go of the idea of God yet, do you really need Christianity?

 

I suck, don't I?

 

No, you're just a victim of a religious cult who is starting to see the truth.

 

BTW, how old are you, just wondering? I'm 16 and I just deconverted last year.

106473[/snapback]

 

I'm 36. I have a history of believing, then turning away from my faith, then going back to it, then leaving again. I am never consistent. I wish I could choose a side and stay with it forever. But I'm fickle. What do you suggest?

[Thurisaz]

Heya sideshow, greetings from cold misty Germany

 

One thing that might help you in your situation is:

 

Make a list of pro's and con's of leaving the faith / staying there. Try to put yourself into both side's shoes while you write down the points.

Then, after you're done, imagine that what you wrote down isn't about you and your faith, but about someone else (say, a friend of yours) and maybe some other religion too. Imagine that this friend asks you for advice. What would you recommend?

 

Bottom line: If you find that you definitely feel better if you remain in the faith, by all means stay there. Just please consider that other people usually have reasons for being who and what they are, and don't presuppose too easily (say, when you talk to someone about religious topics).

If, however, you find that your hypothetical friend would definitely be better of if he left the faith... draw the consequences

 

(Maybe my advice doesn't count - as much - as that of most others here as I never was a fundie... but still, what I wrote above is what I think will be best for you )

[Mr. Neil]

Hi, Sideshow. I just read your opening post. I haven't read anyone else's replies, so forgive me if what I'm about to say is redundant.

 

Today I was doubting my faith. I was debating with myself about how people prefer the legend of a person over the facts, and it got me thinking that maybe Chrisitianity is a myth.  I was thinking maybe people believe it because they need hope and something positive in their lives.

Well, that may be true. A lot of Christians I talk to openly admit that they find non-belief to be the epitome of dispair. This is an astonishing admission of fear. For some people, if Christianity turned out to be false, then they would quite literally lose all of the meaning in their lives.

 

Or so they assume. The "meaning of life" put forth by Christianity is an illusion. It's an empty promise from the very start. Losing this does not in any way diminish life. Without an afterlife, we face the reality that life is finite, but that's what makes life precious. We know that it's not forever, and so we embrace life and all of its joys while we can.

 

There is plenty of meaning in life. It basically comes down to doing the things that make you happy, like laughing at a joke or holding another person's hand. Life can be perfectly wonderful without the empty promises of religion.

 

But on the other hand, I'm afraid if I leave Christianity, something terrible will happen to me. As if God will punish me with crippling debt or some other disaster.

Look at it this way. If Christianity is true, then there should be no problems with faith that cannot be reasonably explained. If something cannot be explained without dubious methodology, then that is certainly a clue that there might be something wrong with your belief system.

 

Here's what you should do. You should start reading. I suggest you start with the Bible. Read it from cover to cover. Find anything that doesn't make sense to you, and start asking questions, and do not accept evasive answers from apologists.

 

You should listen to arguments from both sides of the fence. When they assert something, check their facts. Be merciless. Above all, do not give Christianity the benefit of the doubt. If you do that, then you will undermine the very purpose of your inquiry.

 

Another reason I'm afaid to leave Christianity because I'm afraid to be totally responsible for myself.  I'm afraid that if I lose my faith, I'll get depressed and have anxiety attacks. I'm afraid that if something bad happpens to me, I won't have God to pray to and plead to to make everything alright again. I tend to be a dependent, clingy person, and I'm afraid to be responsible for myself.

Many people turn to God to give them the power to face the difficulties of every day life, and with their faith in-hand, they're able to pull through. But it was never the faith itself that gave them that power. The power to engage life comes from within the individual. The idea that faith somehow has anything to do with it is simply an illusion.

 

Religious faith is kind of like a placebo in that regard. There are a lot of claims about what it can do, and you might even think that you're experiencing the fruits of those claims, but in the end, it's just a combination of a good sell and your own imagination.

 

You've already taken responsibility for yourself. You wouldn't have written this topic if you hadn't. The power to engage life has been within you all along, but you've been blinded by the intellectual blackness of religion.

[Checkmate]

I'm 36. I have a history of believing, then turning away from my faith, then going back to it, then leaving again. I am never consistent. I wish I could choose a side and stay with it forever. But I'm fickle. What do you suggest?

106806[/snapback]

Read this testimony from Robby Berry. Short and sweet, and he says some things I just bet you can relate to. Pay special attention to the emotions he cascades through. Very reminscent of the Five Stages of Grief.

 

Leaving religion behind is very much like losing a loved one or going through a divorce. Not easy.

[Gnosis of Disbelief]

I have a history of believing, then turning away from my faith, then going back to it, then leaving again. I am never consistent. I wish I could choose a side and stay with it forever. But I'm fickle. What do you suggest?

 

 

It sounds as if you first need to decide whether christianity has a role

in your life, or not. I suggest that you do a lot of reading - about other

religions, about agnosticism, about atheism. Doing so will give you a

different perspective that might help make your decision easier. And,

as Mr. Neil has suggested, don't give christianity the benefit of the

doubt, just because it's the faith you're most familiar with.