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Goodbye Jesus

The Dark Night Of My Soul


blackpudd1n

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This is the dark night of my soul, the pain so great to leave me breathless.

 

My heart is so heavy, I cannot talk over the lump I find in my throat. Everything around me is darkness; I have succumbed once more to the dark night within.

 

I hide my face in this moment, desperate for no-one else to know of the demons that torment me. Yet here I am, exposed. The girl that sparkles has another side, and I don't want to share her in this intensely private moment.

 

I don't always have it together. Sometimes the gremlin in my mind grows into a beast and overpowers me, taking me back to the place I don't want to be.

 

So I suck on my cigarette, because it reminds me how to breathe, and desperately tell myself that, just like all the other times, this, too, shall pass. And as I do, I wait for the sun to rise once more in the hope that it will free me from the dark night of my soul.

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I think it's very beautiful! :)

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I think it's very beautiful! smile.png

 

Thanks Sunny. It's just where a place I got to tonight. I'm doing a lot better now, though. I just wasn't coping with my faulty uterus and the bipolar combined.

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No sweat, pudd1n. Keep on truckin'. You know the score within yourself, which is a HUGE part of wisdom. Plus I think you're a cat in human costume.

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I think it's very beautiful! smile.png

 

Thanks Sunny. It's just where a place I got to tonight. I'm doing a lot better now, though. I just wasn't coping with my faulty uterus and the bipolar combined.

 

Sometimes the best poems in the world are written when one is in emotional pain. Puddin' - I'm sad you had to be in pain to write a such a touching memo. I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better tonight! yellow.gif

 

Nothin' worse that a body part hurtin' and the brain in pain at the same time!! rotfl.gif

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That is SUPREME, black! smile.png

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Thanks everyone for your comments- I really didn't expect anyone to read this. I don't like talking about the other side of my bipolarity, but I am committed to being honest about my condition because I perceive it as the only way to break down the stereotypes and stigmas surrounding mental health issues. People, including professionals, have told me many times to lie about having bipolar, but I refuse to. I'm the one who lives with it. Why should I be silent because someone else is ignorant enough to make assumptions about me for something that I have no control over having? Ignorance thrives on me and others like me being silent. The most common response I get when someone finds out that I have bipolar is, "but you seem so normal!", and I tell them, "I am normal. I just get unwell sometimes."

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That is beautiful. Reminded me of a close friend of mine and what he goes through.

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