Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Ex-C Memorial Thread


Margee

Recommended Posts

Today is the 6th year anniversary of my Grandma's death. They told her ten years before she died that she would have 6 mos to live and she proved them wrong. My grandmother passed away at 93 years old in her sleep. She was alone and independent in her death which is how she would have wanted it to be. Her funeral was held on Mardi Gras and I pretended that the parade that go held up was because of her. She was a grumpy, bitter, mean, and downright hateful woman in many respects. However, she was also kind, loving, and caring. We were really close as I am one of two grandchildren. I miss my grandma and think about how proud she would be of me that I am going to be a teacher. Although I look like my mom, I get my coloring from her right down to the blue-gray eyes and freckles. We also shared a love of dying our hair red.

 

I love you Grandma and I miss you!!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was nearly six years ago I lost a good friend. He was a great person to know, always laid back and with a hearty laugh. He left behind a wife and young child. We all still miss you, my friend.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes I think of the babies my wife and I lost before we brought a child to term. Before our daughters were born, we had two miscarriages. I guess these things have a reason, and it is probably for the best, but I still sometimes think of these children that never were. Those were sad times for sure. But we have two great kids, and our lives are full. We never talk about the others, but I think about them sometimes. I bet she does too.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes I think of the babies my wife and I lost before we brought a child to term. Before our daughters were born, we had two miscarriages. I guess these things have a reason, and it is probably for the best, but I still sometimes think of these children that never were. Those were sad times for sure. But we have two great kids, and our lives are full. We never talk about the others, but I think about them sometimes. I bet she does too.

 

That has to be so difficult. I can't imagine myself sad.png

 

When you say: "We never talk about the others, but I think about them sometimes. I bet she does too."

 

Maybe it's time you did talk. Forgive me if that's intruding. I'm just thinking that if you still carry the pain, and you still think about them, and she still thinks about them, maybe there's some healing for both of you if you guys did so.

 

I hope that's not insensitive. I'm sorry so much for your losses sad.png

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not at all insensitive. I have thought about doing so, but that is the sort of thing you have to bring up at the right moment, and I'm terrible at that. Also, it might be unnecessarily painful for her. A few years before we got together, my wife had an abortion. She told me about it before we were married, and she was obviously very upset about it and not telling me earlier. When we had the miscarriages, I think she sort of thought they were her fault. She's an agnostic, but I think she has unsettling ideas about karma and shit like that. After we had healthy daughters, we were both so happy. I'm afraid of opening up some bad stuff and then wishing I hadn't. Maybe it is better the way it is.Wendyshrug.gif

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We lost our one and only back in 2005 when I came to this site. My wife and I were fighting and I got a call that she had lost it. We don't talk about it and we don't have any others. We do have a couple of cats.

 

This coming leap-day will be the anniversary of my best friends death (I'm not sure to count it as the 1st or 4th anniversary since it's a leap day thing).

 

There are others, of course, but no point in going into everyone. They're dead. I'm basically out of friends at this point. I guess I won.

 

mwc

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just now read this thread because I haven't been on much lately and when I have it's just been for a few minutes, but I just wanted to give my sympathies to all of you who have lost people close and dear to you.

 

Life is cruel.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

I just now read this thread because I haven't been on much lately and when I have it's just been for a few minutes, but I just wanted to give my sympathies to all of you who have lost people close and dear to you.

 

Life is cruel.

thank you Total Wreck... It grieves me also the things humans have to go through.That includes everyone who posted on this thread.

 

Always good to see you my friend!!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want to remember my mom. She died on October 27th, 2008. She committed suicide.

 

I'll never forget that day. It was 3pm when I got the call at work from her tearful caretaker telling me what happened. I can't remember what she said. The world simply stopped turning.

 

The day was so stunningly beautiful. The autumn leaves were full of color and full. The day was warm, sunny, and the sky was so clear and blue. It was an amazing day to be alive.

 

I walked around until it started to get dark. I walked to a park near my house and stood under an old oak. I watched the sun going down, and I sang that soft lullaby from the old Charlotte's Web cartoon.

 

How very special are we

 

For just a moment to be

Part of life's eternal rhyme?

How very special are we

To have in our family tree

Mother Earth and Father Time

 

He turns the seasons around

And so she changes her gown

But they always look in their prime

They go on dancing their dance

Of everlasting romance

Mother Earth and Father Time

 

The summer larks return to sing

Oh what a gift they give

Then autumn days grow short and cold

Oh what a joy to live

 

How very special are we

For just a moment to be

Part of life's eternal line?

How very special are we

To have in our family tree

Mother Earth and Father Time

 

I miss you, Mom. I'm sorry things ended the way they did, more than I can express. I won't forget. And I honor your life by being happy. Life is precious. I know that now in ways that I couldn't before.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two people come into mind:

 

One was someone who was like an older brother to me. He made some bad decisions in his life and paid the price. His death wasn't painful then but it gets a bit like that now. Thanks to the justice system, his murderers are probably walking free as you read this. We had many good times, it's a shame now that even at this age they're fading. I wonder how different things would have been if you made some better decisions with your life. If you kept a steady job. If you stayed away from the drugs. If you chose to become a man. I wish I was there to help you in your time of need, but I wish more that you never put yourself in that situation in the first place.

 

The other person was also like a brother to me, and his parents call me their son. His family took me in during the rough times I went through. I cut off our relationship because you were an unsaved heathen and only began breaking away from this after your death. We never had the opportunity to be friends as adults. Have drinks, go out and do whatever it is stupid young adults do. The hardest part about you dying was thinking you were in hell. Now I know you're not but I still have to live with the fact I'll never see you again and that your opinion of me before you died was that I was an asshole now that I was a Christian. I would give almost anything to have another day with you. I'm sorry that this will never happen.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I now need to give a shout out to my friend Henry, who died this week.

 

He was a loving and sweet man. Very friendly and warm. He knew everybody and was always willing to help you if you needed it. He was a Christian, but he was not judgmental in any way. He cared about everyone.

 

He also faithfully served his country and was a decorated army man.

 

He passed this week while riding his bicycle, and suffered a massive heart attack. He was fit, healthy, and young at only 52.

 

Henry, you are loved and missed across the country by so many. You were a good friend. A man who lived to serve in many different ways. You touched many lives, and you will never be forgotten.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Margee for this thread and sharing your story with everyone. I think losing someone that close to you is something you learn to accept but never fully get over. Seeing how you feel about her and how you feel about life now is comforting for someone like me who is just now in the first month of getting over the death of his brother.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

Thanks Margee for this thread and sharing your story with everyone. I think losing someone that close to you is something you learn to accept but never fully get over. Seeing how you feel about her and how you feel about life now is comforting for someone like me who is just now in the first month of getting over the death of his brother.

 

Huge hug for you today. My heart breaks for those who are suffering and I am holding you in my thoughts. I am sorry you have to face and go through this tradgedy. If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me.

 

Sincerely, Margee

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have a story to share but, Margee, this was a beautiful thread to begin!

My condolences for your sister and the rest of the heart wrenching stories I've written here... however, the stories and memories you've shared of such intense love and powerful relationships are among the most powerful memorials I've ever heard/seen. I can only hope that we are all lucky enough to have such a powerful impact on those around us, so that we and our loved ones always know the strength of our love.

Margee, your sister was so lucky to have you in her too-short life and for those of you who are missing parents, siblings, children, friends etc., your words speak volumes to your compassion, humanity and love. Sending you hugs and warm thoughts as you re-live memories and work through pain... thinking of you!

-K

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a couple -

 

My brother-in-law, Dino, died in August of 2008. He was only 38 when cancer took him. It was only 4 months from diagnosis to the end. Far too fast. We were still digging in for the fight, though I think we knew where the battle was going. Dino was as big-hearted and gregarious as a person can be. He was a real angel, not the kind with wings, but the kind with goodness in his heart and light in his eyes. He was very funny, very talented, and very intelligent. He made you think. He didn't just let things go by. His funeral was in a large chapel that holds hundreds. It was full, the balconies were full, and they opened the side doors and set up chairs outside.

 

I was a Christian at the time, and I remember worrying over his soul. Some preacher lady they brought in supposedly led him to pray for salvation. I remember thinking it seemed too easy, and yet taking habitual comfort in it. Now it just makes me mad. She was at the funeral too, and she was certainly positive and affirming, but all we needed was Dino. My mother-in-law still hurts so badly for him. She's counting on an afterlife. I hope she's right, but I'm okay if she's not. Life is life, and death is part of it. I miss you, Dino. If you're not there as a spirit, you're there in the air and the sunlight and the rain and the trees. We are all always here.

 

I also lost my Dad that year, in September. I was with him when he died. My dad loved my brother and I dearly, but he was one fucked up puppy. He was only 65 and cirrhosis did him in. He was abused terribly as a child, and he never fully recovered. Some of those who should have been looking out for him were instead his abusers. Sometimes you never come out of it. I was the only one who would listen to him sometimes, when he'd go on and on about how everyone was out to get him. They weren't, but when you grow up that way, it must be hard to learn otherwise - and some never do. He was immensely talented and very smart, and most of his promise went unfulfilled. But his pain is over regardless, and I think for him that's better by far.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

I have a couple -

 

My brother-in-law, Dino, died in August of 2008. He was only 38 when cancer took him. It was only 4 months from diagnosis to the end. Far too fast. We were still digging in for the fight, though I think we knew where the battle was going. Dino was as big-hearted and gregarious as a person can be. He was a real angel, not the kind with wings, but the kind with goodness in his heart and light in his eyes. He was very funny, very talented, and very intelligent. He made you think. He didn't just let things go by. His funeral was in a large chapel that holds hundreds. It was full, the balconies were full, and they opened the side doors and set up chairs outside.

 

I was a Christian at the time, and I remember worrying over his soul. Some preacher lady they brought in supposedly led him to pray for salvation. I remember thinking it seemed too easy, and yet taking habitual comfort in it. Now it just makes me mad. She was at the funeral too, and she was certainly positive and affirming, but all we needed was Dino. My mother-in-law still hurts so badly for him. She's counting on an afterlife. I hope she's right, but I'm okay if she's not. Life is life, and death is part of it. I miss you, Dino. If you're not there as a spirit, you're there in the air and the sunlight and the rain and the trees. We are all always here.

 

I also lost my Dad that year, in September. I was with him when he died. My dad loved my brother and I dearly, but he was one fucked up puppy. He was only 65 and cirrhosis did him in. He was abused terribly as a child, and he never fully recovered. Some of those who should have been looking out for him were instead his abusers. Sometimes you never come out of it. I was the only one who would listen to him sometimes, when he'd go on and on about how everyone was out to get him. They weren't, but when you grow up that way, it must be hard to learn otherwise - and some never do. He was immensely talented and very smart, and most of his promise went unfulfilled. But his pain is over regardless, and I think for him that's better by far.

 

Funny thing Toon...my dad's last years were awful mentally....he turned into a very angry, bitter man and the day he died - I knew dad was finally at peace, didn't have to fight anymore..... His second wife of many, many years walked out on him one day, 2 years before he died. Nobody knew she was planning it. He went to his grave heartbroken and I always felt bad at what he went through in his last years because my dad was a joy to know. He had those big 'smiling eyes'. Everybody loved him.

 

I am so sorry for your losses Toon. Thanks for sharing.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator

Today, I wish to remember 2 dear people. My mom on Mothers Day, and my dear friend Sharon who died today on Mothers Day of a well fought battle in which cancer took over her whole body. She was 61.This was a friend that I did her hair for many, many years. She was a long time friend. She actually babysat me and my sister when we were children. She was a good christian, and I did not want to disrupt her or her husbands faith in the least.

 

I asked a few on the board for their advise to send this letter and they encouraged me - so I did. I wrote her this letter 2 weeks ago and was afraid to send it...but I'm glad I did. Here is the letter and her responce back.

 

P.S. I love and miss you mom (happy mother's day)... and Sharon...rest in peace my dear friend.

 

No need to respond to this post, I am very sad - but I'm glad her fight is over.

*******************************************************************

 

Sent: Sunday, April 22, 2012 4:20 PM

 

Subject: Thinking of you today Sharon!

 

Sharon, I wanted to write you a little note today. I sincerely hope this note will not upset you - it's just something I need to do. None of us ever know when we turn our backs for a second, if we will get the chance to tell someone how much we love them. That's what I need to do today...... tell you how much I love you!

 

I know you are very sick and getting sicker by the day, and unless I get hit by a bus or have a huge heart attack.......you may be leaving this earth before me. It is very important to me today, that you know how wonderful it is to have you in my life. You, as a client and friend are so wonderful - we had so much fun over the years trying all those new hairstyles out on you! Hairdressing is a very hard business to be in, Sharon, and you made my 'work' easy for me. For as long as I live, I will never forget the fun we had at the shop. If I could take the 100 clients and turn them all into 'Sharon's' - I would!

 

Arlene's shower was amazing!! What a beautiful young woman she has turned into. I talked to everyone yesterday...Bud and the boys....they are all so wonderful to support you...they love you so much. I think they're going to be OK. They have great faith.

 

I wish the whole world could turn into 'Sharon's'..... the love, compassion and interest you have shown people is beyond the call of what is expected on earth. You my friend, are an amazing lady and don't ever forget it!! You have touched my life in many ways. You, in your own little way are an 'icon' to me - a pure, important enduring symbol of love and selflessness. There are not many like you in the world. I wish I could be a little more like you!! You have fought a good fight in life my darling friend.....to bring up the loving and kind family that you have. I watched you work like crazy over the years to give them all a good family home and life.

 

I can never say goodbye to you.....I winked at you when I left the shower yesterday....that wink was meant to say....''It's not over for us yet lady''...we've got more to discover!! It may not be in this life - but later...maybe on the other side. Life is so funny isn't it Sharon? It doesn't seem fair - you never complained - what an example you are! If you go before me, it might be explained to you in detail why you got sick. You may receive the information that we long for here on earth. Each one of us, has to make the transition into the afterlife someday...some date...to get all the questions answered. You may have them before me and I will have to wait my turn patiently.

 

Thank you for setting a good example of what love is. It was important to me today to tell you how much I love you and treasure your friendship. I will never say goodbye to you......just, 'see ya later' with a wink emo_wink.png?2-4.01_224507.....Thank you my friend...for everything.......I love you! Love Donna

 

Talk soon sweetie!! Big, fat, huge hug for you today!!!

*************************************************************************************

Her responce:

 

 

On 04/27/12, Sharon

My dear Donna,

 

I was so surprised and and so thrilled to see you at the shower and so was Arlene. Your wonderful, deep talks never bothered me because we are joined in a very speical way. I am still setting my goal every day and being surrounded by people who love and pray for me. I really believe that is how I have made it this far, that and the grace of God.

 

I also, will never forget all the great times over the years and we sure had a lot of fun and laughter. It must be fun to have known me so long that you saw my children grow and have their own children. I love that you have been part of my life.

 

Your letter made me feel like a million bucks and I will always treasure it. Wow! It means so much to me. You speak from the heart and always have. Never stop that, it makes you the genuine person you are.

 

However, I still have a few things on my list of which one is that new baby. It is hard to believe she is due in 5 weeks and boy I think Arlene looks great .

The shower was so much fun and the the whole family being there met everything to me.

Again I can't thank you enough, we just don't have good surprises as often as we should. You are one of those nice surprises.

 

I will miss you, but not yet. ( wink,wink) I still have goals. Talk soon, never goodbye.

 

LOVE

To a Dear Friend, Donna

FROM

Sharon

 

Unfortunetly, she did not make it to see her only girl have her child in 3 weeks......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Margee, I am so sorry you're having such a tough day.kiss.gif Reading your letter and your friends' response left me a little choked up because it was so beautiful.LeslieHappyCry.gif I am so glad that you sent her that beautiful letter and let her know how you really felt and her response shows that she really appreciated it. The fact that this was only two weeks ago reminds us all that we need to let the people we love know how much they mean to us while they're still around, because you just never know how long we're on this earth for.

 

Damn, this is so depressing. The fact that this woman died on MOTHER'S DAY and didn't even get to live long enough to see her daughter's baby is proof enough for me that there is no god and that "god's timing" is bullshit. "God's timing" couldn't have been fucking worse. *sigh* This world is SO unfair.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today, I wish to remember 2 dear people. My mom on Mothers Day, and my dear friend Sharon who died today on Mothers Day of a well fought battle in which cancer took over her whole body. She was 61.This was a friend that I did her hair for many, many years. She was a long time friend. She actually babysat me and my sister when we were children. She was a good christian, and I did not want to disrupt her or her husbands faith in the least.

 

I asked a few on the board for their advise to send this letter and they encouraged me - so I did. I wrote her this letter 2 weeks ago and was afraid to send it...but I'm glad I did. Here is the letter and her responce back.

 

P.S. I love and miss you mom (happy mother's day)... and Sharon...rest in peace my dear friend.

 

No need to respond to this post, I am very sad - but I'm glad her fight is over.

 

Margee, hugs to you today for the loss of your friend. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today, I wish to remember 2 dear people. My mom on Mothers Day, and my dear friend Sharon who died today on Mothers Day of a well fought battle in which cancer took over her whole body. She was 61.This was a friend that I did her hair for many, many years. She was a long time friend.

 

Margee, I have nothing else to say except I'm sorry to hear this, and if I could give you a hug right now, I would.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

I was very close with all three of them and with each death it took a piece of me.

Burnedout, I just wanted to acknowledge and give my sympathy to you for your 3 dear friends. Thank you for sharing this. You are so right - these deaths of friends and family do take a peice of us away.

 

The thing that comforts me now, (if you could call it that) is the fact that I no longer have to scream out to god, ''Why, Why, Why?? Now, I understand that the human body can get sick anytime during one's life. I am always grateful for having certain people in my life for a good spell of time on the earth....some children don't make it out of the hospital.

 

Again, I'm sorry you had to face these losses in your life. Hug for you today.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Margee and Burnedout, sorry for both of your loses. I think all of us agree that life would be much easier if we didn't have to experience these things.

 

The thing that comforts me now, (if you could call it that) is the fact that I no longer have to scream out to god, ''Why, Why, Why?? Now, I understand that the human body can get sick anytime during one's life. I am always grateful for having certain people in my life for a good spell of time on the earth....some children don't make it out of the hospital.

 

I used to struggle so much when I'd see people born with things like down syndrome or deformities, for the life of me I couldn't imagine why god would allow someone to be born this way, I had the same issue with diseases, when you viewed disease as a punishment for sin it was slightly more understandable, but I remembered one of the most devout godly girls I knew die at 16 from cancer after an entire city prayed for her, it just baffled the mind. Once I removed god from the picture and put survival of the fittest everything instantly made perfect sense and there was no more need for questions like why does god allow this.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...
  • Moderator

I bring this post forward this morning to honor a very good friend of mine who just died unexpectedly....a friend I went to school with from grade primary to grade 6...he is in every school picture I have. He attended all my birthday parties when I was a child and he ended up marrying a very dear friend in my clientele. Him and I just joked on the phone last month about the 2 of us turning 58 this year. I am beyond sad this morning. Life is so not fair at times. That's what I have to remember today.....this isn't about 'gawd' taking him home 'early'...this is about the human body that can fail us in the blink of an eye.

 

I am so glad he was part of my life here on earth.

 

Rest in peace my dear friend Wayne and thanks for all the laughter you bought to everyone around you. It's so hard to say goodbye. You will be missed.

 

Now it's time to try and comfort my darling friend Lynda during this horrible time of her life.

No replys nessasary ...........I just needed to honor him today.

 

It is so important to live each day as it it were your last.

 

Love to all my friends on Ex-c today and thanks for always being there for me in the last 2 years......... kiss.gif

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know you said no replies are necessary but I just wanted you to know I'm here thinking of your friend, his family, and especially you. Thanks for sharing that heartfelt note.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.