Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
dyanaprajna0

Lifelong Christian Turned Buddhist

Recommended Posts

I'm new here, so I'll try to briefly describe my story. I'm 32 years old, and spent most of my life as a Christian. I was basically a conservative, traditional, evangelical (in the vein of Luther or Wesley). I spent my life dedicated to studying everything I could about my faith: it's theologies, history, languages, worship, biblical studies, etc. That was my life, a life dedicated to God and understanding him. About 6 or 7 years ago, I began to have doubts about certain things, but tried my best just to shrug them off. Now, I've studied world religions since I was about 14, and philosophy since about 25. These have been what's defined me as a person, I consider myself a "scholar" on religion and philosophy. They're the only things that can hold my interest. They're what I love. With that being said, I began to have certain doubts about certain things in Christianity, and the more I tried to ignore them, the more they just wouldn't go away. So I intensified my studies, prayer, worship, trying to figure things out. But, my faith kept slipping, slowly, from my hands. Then, 2 years ago, I went through a divorce. The pain was unbearable, so, naturally, I cried out to God, and begged him to put my family back together. After some time of doing that, and getting no answer, I asked him to just take away the pain. Still, no answer. I had already cut ties with my family for not being a materialistic enough Christian. They shunned me because, as an American Christian, I should have desired things, wealth, money, but I'm not a materialistic person. And now I'm going through a divorce, and God is nowhere to be seen. I dedicated my life to him, and he just disappears when I needed him. So, I ended up giving up on Christianity, but not God...yet. I dropped Christianity, and deepened my study of philosophy. After a while, I began to miss having spirituality in my life, and, after much study, about a year ago, I converted to Buddhism, which has fit me perfectly. I finally found something that I can agree with, something that makes me feel complete, makes me feel like "I'm home". Anyway, that's basically my story. I will add that, at intermittent small periods in all of this, I dabbled in the occult and toyed with the idea of Islam, but those were short lived, and barely worth mentioning.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to Ex-C!! There's Epic Ex-C Buddhist thread that has some good conversation going on. The people here are amazing. I am so sorry that you are going through the divorce all of the mess that accompanies one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the forums D........

 

We have several Buddhist leaning members. I'm sure you'll feel right at home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome dyanaprajna0! You will find some of us Buddhists here. My story has a lot of similarities with yours. Raised Christian, but In the face of a devastating divorce, I reassessed everything --it took over 15 years, but In 2008 I became a Buddhist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I began to have certain doubts about certain things in Christianity, and the more I tried to ignore them, the more they just wouldn't go away. So I intensified my studies, prayer, worship, trying to figure things out. But, my faith kept slipping, slowly, from my hands.

 

Been there - done that, as far as the doubts and leaving Christianity. Glad you have found a path that suits you. Welcome to Ex-C.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the boards. :) We do indeed have Buddhist members. *points at Deva* There's an awesome one.

 

I too have studied various myths and religions most of my life, and experienced many of them after leaving christianity. I've never even flirted with the idea of being atheist, because I'm just not. I believe I've settled on a mix of mostly Kemetic Orthodoxy and Vodou as my spiritual path, though it's informed by vast studies and experiences of all kinds of weird shit.

 

Hope you find some good conversations here. :)

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! I can relate to your litany of unanswered prayers!

Stick around!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Then, 2 years ago, I went through a divorce. The pain was unbearable, so, naturally, I cried out to God, and begged him to put my family back together. After some time of doing that, and getting no answer, I asked him to just take away the pain. Still, no answer.

 

Yep, imaginary god did the same thing to me. Marriage seems so important to him but when you ask for assistance he just sits there eating his popcorn, laughing. Asshole. So I divorced him too. :)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! Glad you found the forum. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the board! Thanks for sharing your story. You are in the right place! We sure understand unanswered prayer!! I'm looking forward to hearing more from you!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome - I too turned to Buddhism when leaving Christianity. When Jesus couldn't seem to help me with issues I was having in my life, I found that there was no magic bullet, that I was responsible for my life and living, but not in control of others, and found the Buddhism gave me better clarity to apply mindfulness to my life situations - it has been a big, positive change for me - with mixed results, certainly (even right here on this site!) but still - much better. Cheers :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everybody. It helps to have a place where I can go, where people feel the same way I do, and have been through similar experiences. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome!

 

I'm also into philosophy. I'm fond of Stoicism, (the writings of Seneca and Marcus Aurelius are among my favorites) although some Buddhist teachings also appeal to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad to have you here. Welcome to ex-C.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Primarily Zen, but I practice things from all different schools. I practice some of the Theravada (Hinayana) meditations, Pure Land nembutsu, a little Tibetan saddhana, but, for the most part, Zen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to the forums, dyanaprajna0. I've really enjoyed your comments and now your ex-timony.

 

I hope you have a great time at this site!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always wanted to get into Buddhism. I really think the worldview and the meditation would be great for me. I just never have been able to sit still long enough to meditate. I have a disease that has affected many of my nerves and so I tremor all the time in addition to having restless leg syndrome. I find it difficult to focus on singular thoughts and such when I keep getting jerked back into the present.

 

If I had the time, I would go to a little Sangha we have downtown and get some lessons on meditation and all.

 

Either way, welcome to Ex-C! I can already tell you'll fit right in! I bet you'll be particularly interested in the Ex-Christian Spirituality section, although I'm sure you've already explored it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to Ex-C :) I find a lot in Zen Buddhism that has calmed my shattered nerves. Its emphasis on being present in the present and mindful of where I am now helps a lot, especially considering the lack of mindfulness in Christianity and its utter disregard for anything but some unproven, nebulous future. I've enjoyed your posts so far and am looking forward to getting to know you!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.