Popular Post jblueep Posted February 28, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 28, 2012 Here is the original post for background: http://www.ex-christ...enage-daughter/ So, we decided that tonight was the night to go ahead and do it. We took a lot of the advice from you guys given in the original post. Basically, we told her: 1. We've made a big decision and we want you to know 2. We are not trying to influence you in your beliefs 3. Here is why most xtians believe (a, b, c) 4. Here is why we no longer believe (a, b, c) 5. We are open to talk about it whenever/however you like It went really well. She wasn't freaked out at all. She understood us and was smiling throughout. Our relationship has always been open with her, but I think that openness has reached a new, healthier level than ever before. It was a non-event, kind of like when MM told his wife Thank you all for your support! jblueep and 2honest 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted February 28, 2012 Moderator Share Posted February 28, 2012 Here is the original post for background: http://www.ex-christ...enage-daughter/ So, we decided that tonight was the night to go ahead and do it. We took a lot of the advice from you guys given in the original post. Basically, we told her: 1. We've made a big decision and we want you to know 2. We are not trying to influence you in your beliefs 3. Here is why most xtians believe (a, b, c) 4. Here is why we no longer believe (a, b, c) 5. We are open to talk about it whenever/however you like It went really well. She wasn't freaked out at all. She understood us and was smiling throughout. Our relationship has always been open with her, but I think that openness has reached a new, healthier level than ever before. It was a non-event, kind of like when MM told his wife Thank you all for your support! jblueep and 2honest Fantastic, Yay, good for you,...How wonderful to finally have this openness!! I am soooo proud of you both...my dear neighbors!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Glad it went well. YAY! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Nice! Glad to hear it went well. Often the worst scenarios get played out in our minds and we apply these scenarios to our lives. I think that limits our relationships, because we are so afraid to hear or see the reaction to our own honesty and genuineness. I am glad you decided to be genuine with your daughter. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I am so glad to hear that! You've obviously raised a lovely daughter as terrific as her parents! I think the openness and honesty is awesome! Good job you guys!!!!! Thanks for sharing the great news with us! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Whew! I'm glad that went well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Awesome. I'm glad that you were able to treat her like an adult, and that she also acted like one. It sounds like you've done a great job as parents. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 That's great news!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I bet for a parent that's about the best feeling in the world, seeing your kid act like the adult you always wanted her to become. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 Thank you all for the kind comments. This community has really helped us. It's pretty funny to me now looking back on our xtian years. We used to feel guilty for not raising our kids like our other xtian friends. Despite the fact that we were True BelieversTM, we could never bring ourselves to have family bible studies, to make our kids read or memorize the bible, to force them to worship or pay attention to the sermon, etc. All those years, we thought we were falling down on the job, but I guess subconsciously we somehow knew it wasn't right. Now we are so grateful that we "failed" as xtian parents and allowed them to think for themselves. It seems to be paying off now 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 ...and 2honest and I both slept really good last night. I don't think we knew how much it was weighing on us for her not to know. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Now we are so grateful that we "failed" as xtian parents and allowed them to think for themselves. It seems to be paying off now Funny how that works. "Failing" as a Christian parent means winning as a true parent. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeCoastie Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 You'll stand as shining examples that you don't need god to be good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 It was definitely a HUGE relief. I have to say that I feel SO proud of our kids right now. The understanding and openness they've shown us is really amazing. Like J said, I'm so glad that we didn't indoctrinate them - even though for so long I lived in guilt over it. We told our daughter last night how much being Christians caused us to fear "the world". We assured her that we weren't afraid of her getting into "trouble" and let her know how much we trust her. We also explained that her talent for writing songs and singing is much bigger than church and we don't want her to limit herself. I'm hoping that our talk will help her to see herself and her opportunities through different eyes. We explained that getting acceptance and stuff from church is fine and is one of the good things about church - but that she can have that community and experience in other places, too. I don't think she'll quit church (yet), but I do think she'll see things differently now. And hopefully she will lose interest soon. Oh and here's a funny thing - I told her I was worried that when we talked to her about this she'd freak out like she did when we told her Santa wasn't real. She said, "What? I freaked out about that?" She didn't even remember that. haha Yeah - big sigh of relief! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I am so pleased for you, 2H and J!!! That is just such good news!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronxo Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Wow J, that is so good to hear! I'd wish you the best of luck, but it looks like it's already on your side 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sugRsuccubus Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Even though I already told you.... Excellent job! You both have done wonderfully in presenting this very diplomatically to your daughter. You are wonderful parents! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sugRsuccubus Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Also, I really like the quote in your signature, 2H! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 With parents like you, I have no doubts that your kids will be OK 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Yay! I am so glad that everything went ok 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I'm really glad to hear how this went. It sounds as though you have a very healthy family and that you guys are being "real" as parents. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilcoppertop Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I realize I am SO VERY LATE....haven't been around much lately...but I just wanted to add to everyone's messages and say I'm glad it went so well. This bodes well for further conversations. The respect is there, the love is there, the acceptance is there....all the best to your family!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I realize I am SO VERY LATE....haven't been around much lately...but I just wanted to add to everyone's messages and say I'm glad it went so well. This bodes well for further conversations. The respect is there, the love is there, the acceptance is there....all the best to your family!!! Copper! Hi! I've been wondering where you've been! Thanks for the kind words. And thanks to all of you for the encouragement. This place has been such a great support to us. You guys are awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I wonder if they're actually glad you deconverted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I wonder if they're actually glad you deconverted? I've wondered that, too. I think so - even though we never put a lot of pressure on them to get into "spiritual" things, I could see how they'd feel relieved now. If nothing else it's nice that we all see things the same way and can talk and joke about stuff together. Also, our son told his best friend about our deconversion and his friend told him that he's an atheist. He'd never opened up about it with him before. His friend told our son he was glad about our deconversion. He's been a lot more open with us since he found out and seems to want to spend more time at our house now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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