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Goodbye Jesus

A Prayer Palm-Face


kruszer

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I live with Christian housemates, so I'm frequently assaulted with Christian crap on walls and refrigerator doors.

 

This quote on a fridge-door magnet caught my attention this afternoon:

 

"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." - Frederick Douglass

 

 

You fucking moron! That's not an answer! That's you saying "God, please do something... God, please do something... God, please do... Fine I'll do something myself!... Oh look! God answered!"

 

Why do people not see that "God wants to use us as his hands and feet" is just a way to keep their God animated and alive and bolster the odds of getting answered prayer beyond that of random chance?

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God, please do something... God, please do... Fine I'll do something myself!... Oh look! God answered!"

 

Why do people not see that "God wants to use us as his hands and feet" is just a way to keep their God animated and alive and bolster the odds of getting answered prayer beyond that of random chance?

 

Well said!! I think this is one of the tragedies of the Christian belief system: people sit around and pray instead of getting up and doing something to improve their situation.

 

Maybe post your own note on the fridge beneath that one: "Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."

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"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." - Frederick Douglass

 

Have you considered mentioning to your housemates that it sounds like someone is having sex for god. It sounds really dirty.

 

Praying with your legs does work, especially when you are screaming "oh god, oh god", just an FYI.Wendytwitch.gif

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"God Has No Hands" by Annie Flint

 

God has no hands but our hands to do his work today;

God has no feet but our feet to lead others in his way;

God has no voice but our voice to tell others how he died;

And, God has no help but our help to lead them to his side.

 

http://www.anotherpartofme.com/god-has-no-hands/

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It sounds like your housemate is having a problem distinguishing fantasy from reality.

 

She may be suffering from delusions, possibly psychosis.

 

I recommend driving her to the nearest mental hospital and dropping her off, asap.

 

Good luck.

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"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." - Frederick Douglass

 

Have you considered mentioning to your housemates that it sounds like someone is having sex for god. It sounds really dirty.

 

Praying with your legs does work, especially when you are screaming "oh god, oh god", just an FYI.Wendytwitch.gif

 

I've noticed a lot of sexual innuendo hidden subtlety in xtianese. Like, getting on one's knees to please the lord. That one cracks me up every time I hear it.

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"God Has No Hands" by Annie Flint

 

God has no hands but our hands to do his work today;

God has no feet but our feet to lead others in his way;

God has no voice but our voice to tell others how he died;

And, God has no help but our help to lead them to his side.

 

http://www.anotherpa...d-has-no-hands/

 

Sounds awfully impotent for a deity. Why should we want to lead anyone to his side when we've known rocks that were more relevant and useful to this world?

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And more importantly, why could I not see this back when I was a believer? :P

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"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." - Frederick Douglass

 

Have you considered mentioning to your housemates that it sounds like someone is having sex for god. It sounds really dirty.

 

Praying with your legs does work, especially when you are screaming "oh god, oh god", just an FYI.Wendytwitch.gif

 

I've noticed a lot of sexual innuendo hidden subtlety in xtianese. Like, getting on one's knees to please the lord. That one cracks me up every time I hear it.

 

Or like that worship song by Casting Crowns, "Extravagant"

 

"Your friendship, it is intimate

I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace

Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place"

 

"Spread wide in the arms of Christ is a love that covers sin."

 

Even when I was a Christian that song totally made me think about sex. :P

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"God Has No Hands" by Annie Flint

 

God has no hands but our hands to do his work today;

God has no feet but our feet to lead others in his way;

God has no voice but our voice to tell others how he died;

And, God has no help but our help to lead them to his side.

 

http://www.anotherpa...d-has-no-hands/

 

Sounds awfully impotent for a deity. Why should we want to lead anyone to his side when we've known rocks that were more relevant and useful to this world?

 

And more importantly, why could I not see this back when I was a believer? tongue.png

Don't really know how to answer that. Other than, I guess the blinders had to fall off first? It is truly amazing to me now, the extent of theological systems that have to be developed in order to excuse God's inaction. Of course, none has to be developed when one realizes that this God doesn't exist in the first place.

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I live with Christian housemates, so I'm frequently assaulted with Christian crap on walls and refrigerator doors.

 

This quote on a fridge-door magnet caught my attention this afternoon:

 

"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." - Frederick Douglass

 

 

You fucking moron! That's not an answer! That's you saying "God, please do something... God, please do something... God, please do... Fine I'll do something myself!... Oh look! God answered!"

 

Why do people not see that "God wants to use us as his hands and feet" is just a way to keep their God animated and alive and bolster the odds of getting answered prayer beyond that of random chance?

 

I always took this one to be saying that he thinks prayer DOESNT work. He says he never had a prayer answered until he did the work himself. I dont think he's saying he literally had a prayer answered, just that after he "prayed to his legs" or something that he was freed.

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"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." - Frederick Douglass

 

Have you considered mentioning to your housemates that it sounds like someone is having sex for god. It sounds really dirty.

 

Praying with your legs does work, especially when you are screaming "oh god, oh god", just an FYI.Wendytwitch.gif

 

LOL oh dear, London, my mind went to the same place when I saw that!!!

 

Wasn't there a religious group, called "the Family" or something, who did something along those lines? "Flirty Fishing", I believe the phrase was.

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Yeah, I've got the biography one of their ex-members wrote. It wasn't just flirting, though; they were actually having sex with people at the command of their house leader. I don't remember if it was formal prostitution but wow, it sure messed with that ex-member's head.

 

There are a lot of things I never noticed about Christianity when I was in it, I see because of this board, and the flagrant sexualization of Jesus and the utter impotence of the deity himself are just two of 'em. But they're also two of the funniest.

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God, please do something... God, please do... Fine I'll do something myself!... Oh look! God answered!"

 

Maybe post your own note on the fridge beneath that one: "Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."

 

If they sometimes put Bible verses up, here's a good one:

 

Ezekiel 23:20 (NIV)

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
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