vitani88 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Does anyone else feel that it is especially stressful/tiring to deal with Christian friends and family? I have a ton of Christians on my facebook, and anytime I post a status update that has anything to do with atheism, a huge argument ensues. I've had multiple people post with, "I'm going to pray for you because you don't know what you believe," or, "I can't believe you posted this garbage!" followed by quick deletion. Not to mention the constant private messages and chain emails to "win my soul" back. How do you handle this? Should I just go through my friend's list and delete every Christian I know? For the record, this doesn't happen only online, it's in everyday life as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Does anyone else feel that it is especially stressful/tiring to deal with Christian friends and family? How do you handle this? Should I just go through my friend's list and delete every Christian I know? For the record, this doesn't happen only online, it's in everyday life as well. Yes, it gets tiring. I deleted every person from my former church except those who still accepted me as a human. Then I deactivated my account a few weeks ago. I haven't really missed it yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitani88 Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 Yes, it gets tiring. I deleted every person from my former church except those who still accepted me as a human. Then I deactivated my account a few weeks ago. I haven't really missed it yet. My name is vitani88, and I am a facebook addict. Seriously though, I couldn't delete my account. It sucks because many of the people from my old church basically helped raise me and I know they would be hurt if I deleted them, but I can't help feeling like their presence is bad for my mental stability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 You don't have to unfriend every Christian you know. Just every one that practices Religious Douchebaggery on your Facebook wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 sometimes you just have to cut the cancer out. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 sometimes you just have to cut the cancer out. +1 on that. People who love and respect you won't treat you like that. I'd post a warning that anyone who does this will be deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitani88 Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 sometimes you just have to cut the cancer out. +1 on that. People who love and respect you won't treat you like that. I'd post a warning that anyone who does this will be deleted. I like that plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Yes, it gets tiring. I deleted every person from my former church except those who still accepted me as a human. Then I deactivated my account a few weeks ago. I haven't really missed it yet. My name is vitani88, and I am a facebook addict. Seriously though, I couldn't delete my account. It sucks because many of the people from my old church basically helped raise me and I know they would be hurt if I deleted them, but I can't help feeling like their presence is bad for my mental stability. Ha! on being an addict! Okay. Just being honest here. It was much harder to make the decision to pull the plug than it has been after pulling the plug. I do wish that there could have been some way to have religious postings able to not be seen and postings about whatever else that was not religious to be seen. Christmas and Easter are enough to drive even a phlegmatic (my secondary temperament) person insane. The people who really do care about you will respect you and your decision to leave their religion behind. The rest of them can be blocked, and then they can't see you at all. As far as they'll be able to tell, you've left f/b, unless one of their buddies tells them otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wings Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Hi Vitani88, I definitely understand your point as I've been dealing with this a lot myself, lately. It's been really hard not to snap back at their comments, but I try not to let friends and family bait me. I'm temporarily off facebook and I did delete a few people I didn't know well. It's frustrating to know that whatever brilliant refutes/comments I say will fall on deaf ears anyway (at this point), so I've only been responding with "thank you for your words. I will consider them. Love always." It's the fastest way I've found to defuse the issue and slowly certain people have stopped emailing me. I understand that you want to advocate your atheism, which I respect (I want to shout it from the rooftops somedays), and I would never say hide your beliefs... but is it worth posting about on facebook or elsewhere? If it is your cause, good luck with it all! And most of all, I hope you can let the hate and vitriol roll off your back 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Does anyone else feel that it is especially stressful/tiring to deal with Christian friends and family? I have a ton of Christians on my facebook, and anytime I post a status update that has anything to do with atheism, a huge argument ensues. I've had multiple people post with, "I'm going to pray for you because you don't know what you believe," or, "I can't believe you posted this garbage!" followed by quick deletion. Not to mention the constant private messages and chain emails to "win my soul" back. How do you handle this? Should I just go through my friend's list and delete every Christian I know? For the record, this doesn't happen only online, it's in everyday life as well. Yes - we have to wade through pages of their self-defeating crap, but post one skeptical pic/article and they come out of the woodwork, asking why you're so negative, why do you need to attack them, etc. Crap gets old. Early on I thought I would try to be more circumspect, but now I know I can only be who I am. If they can express what they believe to be true on FB, then surely I have the same right. If they delete you, let them do so. I've only had one friend block me that way - actually, it was Rick from the "Christian friend" thread I started. The rest are either game or too polite to make a big deal out of it. Either way, I'm expressing myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 You can actually keep them on your list, but hide your updates from them- it's in the new privacy settings. If you wanted to prevent lost friendships, estranged relatives, etc., but just don't want the headache, it's a thought. Very few of my FB friends know of my great enthusiasm for playing Pot Farm, for instance. I refuse to go through the trouble. This is who I am - yes, we were Christians together and sang/prayed/blah-blah-blah - but now I'm a skeptical agnostic Buddhist and I'm going to express who I am. If they have a problem, it's their problem. I don't have a problem with them remaining Christian and being open with me. Their myopia makes it hard sometimes to equate the two positions, but sometimes they get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 agnostic buddhist. so not really sure if god exists but striving to become one? seems odd to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitani88 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 I refuse to go through the trouble. This is who I am - yes, we were Christians together and sang/prayed/blah-blah-blah - but now I'm a skeptical agnostic Buddhist and I'm going to express who I am. If they have a problem, it's their problem. I don't have a problem with them remaining Christian and being open with me. Their myopia makes it hard sometimes to equate the two positions, but sometimes they get it. I love this post for two reasons. First, because I agree with you. People are always telling me that maybe I should just not post anything that would start an argument because I know people get mad over every little thing. But I'm with you - I think that I have just as much right to post what I believe/don't believe as they do to post their verses (which, by the way, I never comment on). Second, your use of "myopia" made me smile. I work for an eye surgeon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Does anyone else feel that it is especially stressful/tiring to deal with Christian friends and family? I have a ton of Christians on my facebook, and anytime I post a status update that has anything to do with atheism, a huge argument ensues. I've had multiple people post with, "I'm going to pray for you because you don't know what you believe," or, "I can't believe you posted this garbage!" followed by quick deletion. Not to mention the constant private messages and chain emails to "win my soul" back. How do you handle this? Should I just go through my friend's list and delete every Christian I know? For the record, this doesn't happen only online, it's in everyday life as well. You'll find it much less painful if you remove them. I had a couple hundred friends on facebook when I was a Christian. Upon my departure, I removed 3/4 of them. I now sit around 100 friends. Occasionally I'll have someone new added or someone will remove me for whatever reason. I'm not fussed. I'm now no longer flooded with religious crap and no longer attacked for what I post. Though I don't use it as much as I use to, I actually enjoy using it and don't feel censored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 agnostic buddhist. so not really sure if god exists but striving to become one? seems odd to me. And it seems to me that you have a strange understanding of Buddhism. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMneg Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Hi vitani88, I feel you. You can unsubscribe to your friends without unfriending them. I've done this with people that I see in my personal life who post asinine (mostly religious) comments. When they ask if I saw this or that I just say that FB is unreliable and glitchy. They haven't caught on. If you ever feel like checking in to see what they are saying, all you have to do is resubscribe. They don't have to know a thing. Remember that it is your FaceBook account, not theirs, and you can post what you like. If they don't like it they can unfriend or unsubscribe from you. They are showing a low level of maturity by bashing you for your posts. Sometimes you do have to cut people out of your life when they aren't good for you. If they are harassing you, they are in it for themselves, not you or god. I thought christians were supposed to plant seeds, not ram it down peoples' throats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 agnostic buddhist. so not really sure if god exists but striving to become one? seems odd to me. LOL - no following the 4 noble truths - the eightfold path, etc., but don't believe in karma, samsara, reincarnation, or nirvana. a la Stephen Batchelor. Highly recommend his books Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I deconverted before Facebook, and resisted getting one through most of college. In that space, most of the people I started to associate with were all some level of heathen, or so nominal christian that they aren't fucked to say anything to me. I had one friend hound me in the couple of years right after I deconverted, trying sneaky-ass tactics to win me back - I told him straight up that if he didn't cut it out, he would never speak to me again. I basically said the same to all of my family. It took my mother a while to catch on that I meant it. I can't be fucked to justify myself to anyone, friend, family, whatever. Accept me as I am, or leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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