pratt Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 It is my first entry into Rant i think. My atheist friend, Andy, who flew to Vietnam from Singapore to see me when I had my heart attack, doesn't believe in any god or traditional worship, has been calling me at odd hours past week. He has not been lucky for past 3 years. He is 39 this year, got retrenched 3 years ago and took up a seasonal contract work at half his previous take home pay. Mother died of diabetes/cancer 6 months later, father got into an accident and somehow affected his brain, chalking up debts that surpassed his ability to pay, and Andy needed to use overdraft/credit card cash advance to do monthly instalments at 2% monthly interest rate. He has his "only" married sister who is a fucking bitch, much well-off than him but hardly lift a finger to help out the family and manipulate him to contribute to her well being. The brother-in-law wanted to settle the dad's debt, but sister blocked to save for their infertility test or whatever. He called me last week and informed me that helost control over the left side of his face and the doctor suspected Bell's Palsy. I looked up the net, and most people recover from that in couple of weeks/months. No big deal. Next day, his arm lost some strength, which means fucked, he may have a stroke. He went to hospital and they did a CT scan and needed him to stay for a couple of days for tests and observation. He called his sister to pop in to see the father and gave some money for the daily expense for next couple of days and the bitchy sister simply refused giving excuse of workload. After 1 night in hospital and MRi later, he insisted to check out to look after his dad and the doctor reluctantly agreed. He called me at 2am last morning, missed his mother dearly and disappointed with the world. Why bad things happen to him, he refuse to see counsellor (doctor told him that he may be depressed and too much stress) and find life meaningless after his mother gone. We talked for more than half an hour, I let him cry and vent his frustrations. Wired him some money after to tie things over. Sometimes, like Margee, in face of such situation, wishing I can provide some false hope of afterlife to deal with it for a while, rather than knowing it is nothing but just everyday living, warts and all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dyanaprajna0 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I hate to hear this, all that's happened to your friend. Yeah, life sucks. And it would be good sometimes to have some kind of hope, even if it's false hope. But, I've found that it's better to just face life head-on, see it for what it is, and deal with it. You'll come out stronger, smarter, and more capable of handling something the next time life throws you a curve. But it does sound like he needs to seek some kind of medical help. Life throws all kinds of crap our way, and it's tough to try to go it alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 No two-ways about it: your friend's situation sucks, big time. Is there any way you can go visit him for a bit, just to be there for him, let him know that you care? Sometimes friendship is better than therapy, as helpful as therapy is. What I'm hearing is that he feels alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 10, 2012 Moderator Share Posted March 10, 2012 Oh Pratt, you know how bad I feel about this. It is just awful when one shitty incedent happens after another. We seem to go through 'spells' of bad luck on the earth, don't we? Things are good for awhile and running smoothly and then all hell breaks loose. I am so sorry this is what is happening to your friend right now. You are such a good person to be there for him. The best any of us can do is just to validate his feelings and show him you care. Maybe, direct him to get some help from a professional. He sounds like he's in deep grief. Grief on it's own is horrible. Add all the other shit and it's enough to make you lose your mind sometimes. Sometimes I really do believe that we can go 'temporaily insane' for awhile. I have felt that myself...not knowing which way to turn. Life on life's terms is so different than when we believed that a 'higher being' would rescue us. That's what I miss too. We gotta make it on our own...make everyday count, as they say. Help him to find something he can hang on for...some kind of hope...... You're a good man Pratt...one of my favorites....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 his bout of depression is temporary on hold,,,,, he got 2 complimentary tickets for duran duran concert tonitet,,,,, but the idiot invites another manipulative bastard (his ex) to the concert with him,,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Wow, life is so hard! I am saddened to hear of the pain others suffer. I think the best thing we can do is offer real-world, real-human support.... acknowledging the suckiness of it all, and offering companionship and tangible support. Beats the hell out of lies about some pink unicorn thinking about you, or about suffering for another 50 years before you get to go live with this pink unicorn in a barn with golden straw. Sometimes we actually have to be human for each other. It's so much better, at least that's been my experience. I hope you can find a way to comfort your friend in a way he can understand.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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