aviator Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 So I'm finally posting in the forums after being a lurker for a few weeks. It feels strange to be posting on one of those websites that I've been "warned against" because there's some "funny things out there on the internet, don't believe all you read" What a great bunch of people you all are, this site has been such a support to me over the last few weeks. You could count the years I've been a Christian on one hand but deconversion is still one hell (excuse the pun) of a journey. I think I am still going through the more intense part of deconversion but I'm more disbelieving than believing now. It came about by trying to find answers to questions I had (a bid to strengthen my faith!), and I couldn't find answers to my satisfaction. I also came across many many thought provoking articles which has lead me to where I am now. There's definitely more details about my deconversion to come as and when I'm ready, which might help others that have been in the same situation as me. Tracing back to my deep down, honest reason for belief, it was simply the fear of hell. Once you get over this ridiculous doctrine of eternal punishment for finite 'sins', everything else falls apart. As I say, more details to come, but a few of the benefits I've already found are: I no longer worry about my family and friends going to hell and don't have to think "you just don't know Jesus, do you??" every time I see them I no longer worry about tricky bible verses and their meaning I feel strangely free I don't feel guilty because I didn't witness or attempt to spread 'the word' today I no longer feel like I should pray because I haven't done so for days If there was an eternal hell, then I'm sure the plan of salvation would be so much clearer than a 2000 year old collection of books that nobody can agree the interpretation of. Case closed. Anyway I'll definately be sticking around, but just wanted to say hi aviator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Hi! Welcome to Ex-C! I heartily concur with the strangely free and other comments for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 It came about by trying to find answers to questions I had (a bid to strengthen my faith!), and I couldn't find answers to my satisfaction. I also came across many many thought provoking articles which has lead me to where I am now. Welcome to the club! The Bible is certainly full of contradictions. Welcome to Ex-C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Welcome! Looks like you are off to a good start. Good for you! It's good to hear from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Welcome! You are right, deconversion is indeed a hell of a journey. But the journey will get lighter with time, and it will bring you to a better place. If there was an eternal hell, then I'm sure the plan of salvation would be so much clearer than a 2000 year old collection of books that nobody can agree the interpretation of. Case closed. I am totally stealing that sentence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Welcome, aviator. Glad you're here. It's great that you have overcome the fear of hell. Good for you. Look forward to hearing more from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen652 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Welcome. The study of the doctrine of hell as the start of unbelief seems to be a common theme amongst ex Christians. It certainly was with me. You're lucky in that you haven't been a christian for that long so you haven't got a lifetime of issues to overcome. Not saying it's easy for you, but hey it could be a lot worse. And plus you've got Ex-C to help you through, which I didn't at the time (so wish I had). Look forward to hearing more from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Welcome aviator! Glad you feel at home here. I was lurking for a couple of months and finally got the nerve to post, back in the late summer. It's great to be able to share stories and laugh at where we come from and the lunacy in which we immersed ourselves. Hope to hear more from you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I feel strangely free It is liberating. Christianity is a self-loathing religion when you get right down to it. Your life is yours again - you're not an empty vessel waiting to be filled by someone else so you can actually do something good. Your righteousness, your good works, are not bloody rags. You're not *just* a sinner saved by grace. You're a person, a human being, of immense value just for who you are, not because you believed god tortured himself for you. You do not just feel free. You *are* free from all that bullshit. Congratulations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Welcome to freedom! Deconversion has been liberating to me as well. I'm a lot happier person since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 It came about by trying to find answers to questions I had (a bid to strengthen my faith!), and I couldn't find answers to my satisfaction. I also came across many many thought provoking articles which has lead me to where I am now. Hey Aviator! Welcome to Ex-C! This was exactly the same as what happened to me!! I was going off that verse- "work out thy own salvation with fear and trembling". I figured god wanted me to question, to dig deeper, to find the truth... And I did, just not the truth I was expecting!!!! Whoops! Good to see you here. Ask all the questions you need to of everyone on the forum- there's a wealth of knowledge here on just about anything and everything you could possibly think of Love, Pudd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aviator Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Thanks for all your welcoming messages and words of encouragement, it's much apperciated :-) I find it difficult to know where to go next, one part of me looks back to where I've been and I'm actually very sad to be leaving the church behind. I've made some very good friends at church and they've been really quite supportive and want to stay in touch despite my falling away. It's the regular weekly meeting of friends that I'll miss the most, they're really great people. The church very much portrays God as a father figure (and one of love) and there's no 'fire and brimstone' kind of teachings - it's just that I've found I can't beleive anymore based on logic and reason - I'm quite a logical person you see. Another part of me wonders where I'll be in a year's time... I'll have to see where I end up! I still have belief in a God, but I just can't see it being the God of the bible. I like to think God gave me an inquisitive brain to think things through and come to my own conclusions. What's the point of having a brain if to just blindly accept things and not think things through? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Welcome, stay a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 16, 2012 Moderator Share Posted March 16, 2012 Welcome aviator! You are on the right track! Stay here with us and we'll all learn together.! good to have you. Take your time..it's a 'letting go' process. you'll find what resonates in your heart eventually. There's a little bit of everything on this site. Have fun with your new 'open-minded' brain!! Hope to hear more from you! Sincerely, Margee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Welcome, aviator! What a heady time of discovery, isn't it? I'm a fairly logical person too, and I think you've got the right of it: I, too, cannot be sure there is no god. But I can categorically state with 100% certainty and assurance that the god presented in the Bible (and to an even greater extent the modern evangelical church and other branches of the Abrahamic religions) does not and cannot exist. Its claims to superiority over other faiths tests on the historical claims it makes--claims that are easily refuted. I couldn't stay either because of those questions I had. Keep learning, keep growing; the rabbit hole gets more fun as you go along! I'm glad you're here to enjoy it with us. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owen652 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I figured god wanted me to question, to dig deeper, to find the truth... And I did, just not the truth I was expecting!!!! Whoops! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! sucked in, god! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 So I'm finally posting in the forums after being a lurker for a few weeks. It feels strange to be posting on one of those websites that I've been "warned against" because there's some "funny things out there on the internet, don't believe all you read" What a great bunch of people you all are, this site has been such a support to me over the last few weeks. You could count the years I've been a Christian on one hand but deconversion is still one hell (excuse the pun) of a journey. I think I am still going through the more intense part of deconversion but I'm more disbelieving than believing now. It came about by trying to find answers to questions I had (a bid to strengthen my faith!), and I couldn't find answers to my satisfaction. I also came across many many thought provoking articles which has lead me to where I am now. There's definitely more details about my deconversion to come as and when I'm ready, which might help others that have been in the same situation as me. Tracing back to my deep down, honest reason for belief, it was simply the fear of hell. Once you get over this ridiculous doctrine of eternal punishment for finite 'sins', everything else falls apart. As I say, more details to come, but a few of the benefits I've already found are: I no longer worry about my family and friends going to hell and don't have to think "you just don't know Jesus, do you??" every time I see them I no longer worry about tricky bible verses and their meaning I feel strangely free I don't feel guilty because I didn't witness or attempt to spread 'the word' today I no longer feel like I should pray because I haven't done so for days If there was an eternal hell, then I'm sure the plan of salvation would be so much clearer than a 2000 year old collection of books that nobody can agree the interpretation of. Case closed. Anyway I'll definately be sticking around, but just wanted to say hi aviator Yup. Getting religion is like getting rid of weight. It so easy to gain but so hard to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I find it difficult to know where to go next, one part of me looks back to where I've been and I'm actually very sad to be leaving the church behind. I've made some very good friends at church and they've been really quite supportive and want to stay in touch despite my falling away. It's the regular weekly meeting of friends that I'll miss the most, they're really great people. The church very much portrays God as a father figure (and one of love) and there's no 'fire and brimstone' kind of teachings - it's just that I've found I can't beleive anymore based on logic and reason - I'm quite a logical person you see. Welcome, Aviator! This has been the hardest part for us, too - leaving behind a group of friends. Our church was also focused on the loving version of god. The people there were sincere and loving. However, we realized after leaving that the love they had for us was only in the context of holding similar beliefs. When we began to question things and then left, they didn't have a clue what to do with us. It's really sad, but from their perspective we're the ones who walked away. I'm sure that we will all find new friends and meaningful relationships where there are no religious boundaries. I'm looking forward to that! Keep asking questions and searching for answers that make sense to you. And enjoy the process! ~2H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aviator Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 Yup. Getting religion is like getting rid of weight. It so easy to gain but so hard to lose. And any weight loss attempt always has the odd slip up where you find yourself eating chocolate. I've lately found myself graduating back towards believing and all of a sudden I realise what's happening in my mind - and that's despite all the unanswered questions I still have. It's like a default 'mode'. It's the 'what if' worries I suppose. Sitting on the fence sure gets painful after a while! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 In fairness, this is really the best time of year to indulge in a little creative slip-ups around chocolate consumption, but you're absolutely right. "What if" is such a powerful pyschological manipulator. It keeps us running around our hamster wheels indefinitely if we let it. It is based in fear, though, most of it, and that's a shitty way to live. Luckily, there are tons of resources around to help someone who needs a little self-educating. Look for LivingLife's awesome series about science; there are also resources on Biblical history here and elsewhere (like www.jesusneverexisted.com), and all kinds of people here who are really well-educated in theology and whatnot. Not for nothing is it said that education is the best way to deconvert someone. Also, I'd want to gently mention that the choices aren't necessarily "atheism" and "the Judeo-Christian God." There are a host of other options out there. I don't know how your spiritual toast is buttered, but nobody's saying there're only two ways of tackling the concepts but one of them's flat out wrong. Hell, they both might be--for you. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aviator Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 "What if" is such a powerful pyschological manipulator. It keeps us running around our hamster wheels indefinitely if we let it. It is based in fear, though, most of it, and that's a shitty way to live. You're so right. Only once I realise it's a fear based reflex, the belief comes crashing back down again. The whole system of belief for me was kept alive with undertones of fear no matter how much someone tried to argue it should be about the love of God. Thanks for the tips on resources, I'll do some reading. The difficultly I find with the internet is that for every awesome, sense-making site like ExC, there's about another 10 arguing in favour of Christianity - it's a total head f**k. I'm totally with you on there being more than the two choices. I still very much believe in a God but there's so many unanswered questions about Christianity I can't help but question its validity. I went on an apologetics site the other day to try and determine what difference prayer makes if God knows the future and I was met with responses of "that's not something that can really be explained", or "good question, the theory is such-and-such - and the theory just didn't make any sense at all". I'm just on a journey now to find out new ideas :-) I've been reading information about near death experiences and I'm really interested in that phenomenon. Fascinating to read about the common elements among them that people have experienced. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Hi Aviator and welcome to ExC! I like what you say about exploring other ideas. The world of ideas is wide open for you once you free yourself of Christianity. I can remember what a relief it was that I wasn't going to be condemned eternally for investigating the occult, or anything else I decided to take a fancy to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electech98 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 It is funny all the different things that leads us to reject Christianity - for you, it seems it was finally coming to realize that the doctrine of "hell" is stupid, crazy, and unjustified. For me, it was coming to the realization that the Bible was not, after all, "inerrant, infallible, and inspired". Once the ONE THING that props up your faith (whether it be a dusty tradition of holding man-made documents as authoritative and divinely-inspired, or fear of punishment in hell for not believing) has been logically and rationally discarded, there's nowhere to go but down as far as that faith is concerned. But after all that, there's nowhere to go but up as far as your rational leap into mental adulthood goes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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