Mudflappus Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 When I first joined the ranks of Exchristian.net, I considered myself to be a Deist. A position that allowed me enough wiggle room to maintain some sort of faith but enough of a distinction to separate me from the Christian masses that are so often spoken of here. I was never a really devout Christian. I suppose the reason fior this is that only exposure I got to it was through a private school that I have not set foot in for more than 30 years. Still, if there ever was a testimony to the power of the memes that those in the faith profess and proliferate, it would be the length of time it took me to shed them. I consider myself to be a rational human being who does not get duped on a regular basis by snake oil salesmen or infomercials and yet here I am so many years later admiting to all of you that I was wrong in what I believed in. I never surrounded myself with those of the faith because I sensed that there was something disinginuous about the way they carried themselves and through the blatant hypocracy that they engaged in on a regular basis. I knew that the concept of Jesus the Christ was as unique as every single person I encountered who espoused the faith and I watched each individual justify a myriad of less than Christian acts based upon their own interpetation of what Christ might do. I thought it was a bit too convenient. I was raised in a secular household and on more than one occasion I made my father uncomfortable by bringing the subject up. I remember him complaining about the fundementalist nut jobs doing their best to force their views through legislation. I remember that I agreed with him most of the time. My mother died when I was 17. Before she died, she that felt that I needed (in her words) "a good Christian education". For the longest time I held this against her but recently I have come to understand that all she really wanted were good personality traits such as modesty, integrity and honor to be taught to me and that the only place she could think of that would hold these things as important was a Chistian school. She was not a devoutly religious woman and certainly had no clue about the world of Southern Baptist Protestantism that she was shoving me into. I was indoctrinate by a sea of men and women clad in pastel polyester suits in rooms festooned with cheap wood panneling and learned that Jesus equalled The Republican party and that anything else was wicked and sinful including Rock music, Dungeons and Dragons and questioning authority. These were things that my brother took part of on a regular basis. Oddly enough, my mother sent him to a Catholic institution when he was young. Satanic panic was at it's height as was the wave of divorces that hit the "American Family" during the early eighties. Truly it was a confusing place for a young teenager to find himself in. I didn't leave that Christian school of my own accord although I begged to be placed in a public school because I didn't like the atmosphere. Even at that age, upon reading the private school's mission Statement about controlled environments, I knew that I would learn nothing of the real world there. It was a financial hardship that my (divorced) parents could no longer justify that put me into a public school wrought with drugs, knives, fights and all of the things that really educated me on reality. I felt completely at home there. Through the years I created my own brand of apologetics in order to validate what I believed in which was essentially Liberal Christianity without me knowing what it was. I never went to church and came to despise all of rhetoric that I heard coming from my former mentors because it simply didn't square with reality. It still doesn't and I still despise them. Especially now that they are putting up Presidential Candidates operating on all of the same bullshit I had been exposed to all of those years ago. The Internet has been an important part of me coming to reason. I examined my beliefs and have come to the conclusion that Deism or Pantheism is just a copout. Ladies and gentlemen, I AM AN ATHEIST. I don't feel at all guilty about it because I feel that it is the absolute truth that I have now become a part of. Even that nagging, lingering part of my conscienceness that holds most in the grip of a fear of Hell has conceded that the god that is claimed by the faithful would still welcome me for being intellectually honest with myself. If I do wind up in Hell, it is not a god I would want to associate myself with anyway. I want to thank all of you for putting up with my Deist self and welcoming me despite of this. Perhaps you knew what the ultimate outcome would be. Either way, I feel free and have an appreciation for all things that I have never had. I'll say it again. Thank you, I am an atheist. Now I just need to get my damned avatar squared away. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted March 18, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2012 I examined my beliefs and have come to the conclusion that Deism or Pantheism is just a copout. You are certainly allowed to be a Deist or anything else, though I do agree with your conclusion. If I must have a label, "atheist " is the only one that feels honest, comfortable and right. Others' mileage may vary. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudflappus Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 I examined my beliefs and have come to the conclusion that Deism or Pantheism is just a copout. You are certainly allowed to be a Deist or anything else, though I do agree with your conclusion. If I must have a label, "atheist " is the only one that feels honest, comfortable and right. Others' mileage may vary. I considered the Hitchens angle of Anti Theist as well but to me it conjures the same emotive qualities. I know that there are some who shy away from Atheist in the sense of the noun because they don't like the idea that the word itself has been coopted by the religious to mean something nefarious. Personally, I could give a rats ass about what the religious choose to assume about me. If they are willing to use a single word to describe my entire character, it is easier to catagorize them as those I wouldn't waste my time talking to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocean Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Your statement, "the concept of Jesus the Christ was as unique as every single person I encountered who espoused the faith and I watched each individual justify a myriad of less than Christian acts based upon their own interpetation of what Christ might do," is very helpful to me. It's yet another aspect of the whole bizarre Christian phenomenon that undercuts its validity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectrox Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Welcome to Ex-Christian.net! You refer to ex-christian.COM. Did you mean .NET or .COM? Not that it really matters anyway. Are you aware you repeated one of your paragraphs?! That's ok, there's so much unnecessary repetition in the Gospels that I think you've done much better than God already! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 18, 2012 Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2012 Mudd, thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this post. It will now be stored in my favorites. You are a wonderful, kind, loving atheist and I think your mother would be very proud of you for being highly intelligent . I also agree that if we do land up in this hot place called hell, simply because we couldn't get god to show us real evidence of 'himself', it will be a joy to spend eternity with such a nice person as yourself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudflappus Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 Welcome to Ex-Christian.net! You refer to ex-christian.COM. Did you mean .NET or .COM? Not that it really matters anyway. Are you aware you repeated one of your paragraphs?! That's ok, there's so much unnecessary repetition in the Gospels that I think you've done much better than God already! Mudd, thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this post. It will now be stored in my favorites. You are a wonderful, kind, loving atheist and I think your mother would be very proud of you for being highly intelligent . I also agree that if we do land up in this hot place called hell, simply because we couldn't get god to show us real evidence of 'himself', it will be a joy to spend eternity with such a nice person as yourself. Thanks for the kind words and pointing out the mistakes in the post. I used a spell checker to cut and paste the paragraphs and not all of the originals got cut. It took me a long time to understand what my mom was trying to achieve. As angry as I was about the attempted brainwashing by the Evangelicals I was all too eager to lump her in with them for putting me in that situation. I have come to see my parents as two human beings who did the best they could with what they knew. They are just as fought with flaws as any human being and the title of Mom and Dad doesn't give me the right to place them on a pedestal and demand absolute perfection. I place them on a pedestal for allowing me the freedom of mind to achieve these personal truths through introspection and with dignity. I have never once been lectured or threatened by my father (who I now take care of) over idea logical beliefs and we've spent hours discussing our own views in a healthy dialog built on mutual respect and courtesy. I wish everyone had the same opportunity with their families but as I said in the original post, the memes are hard to crack and even harder to break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Welcome to the jungle, Mudflappus. Florduh ate all the cookies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I'll make another batch! Welcome, MF! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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