jblueep Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 A little background... I having been hanging out at my local cigar shop for about 3 years now. I've always called it my "real church" in that it more represents what the church should be than the church itself. What I mean by that is that all the guys (and a few ladies) that hang out there truly care about each other. We ask each other for advice, we give each other help, and we help each other through tough circumstances with no real strings attached. I never proselytized there, although most guys there knew I was a xtian...if for no other reason, I built a huge expansion on my former church in 2010 so it was a topic of conversation for almost a year. Because I was a "real" xtian, meaning not judgmental or religious, and intentionally and genuinely compassionate, several of the guys there would come to me when the shit hit the fan. If there was a death or suicide or major trouble with their family, I was (and still am) someone that will listen and give support. Also, about a year ago, I got two large xtian tattoos (one in greek and one in aramaic) on the insides of my forearms. In hindsight, I see that those represented my last great attempt to prove that I was right about god and let him prove himself to me. It was an "all in" decision. The placement and size of the tats was also intended to make people ask, so I could tell them about my faith. It worked well, as I get asked about them all the time. To the present... Since deconverting, I cringe when people ask about the tats as of course I don't believe anymore. I decided recently that from now on, when people ask, I am going to say "they are something I used to believe in". For strangers, that will likely be enough and they won't ask anymore. For friends of course, that will be a different story. Last Saturday I was sitting around a table at the cigar shop with several buddies I know pretty well. The only one of them who hadn't asked about the tats decided he was going to ask. So I gave him my new "they are something I used to believe in" answer. The rest of the guys did a double take immediately and asked "what do you mean?". So, I simply told them that I am now an atheist and have been for about 6 months. Several of them broke out laughing, thinking that I was joking. It took several times of me reassuring them that I was in fact serious for them to believe me. I think it was shocking for them because they knew how committed I was. They never saw it coming of course. Over the next hour, they asked questions, offered Pascal's wager, etc. The typical stuff you would expect. All of them are xtians, but most on a social level because they grew up that way. It was a really interesting discussion/debate, especially since it was 6 on 1. I haven't been back since, but I expect to have several more of these discussions over the next few weeks as the "news" spreads (there aren't any secrets in a cigar shop). It was a relief to publicly come out somewhere. I am not looking to proselytize atheism any more than I was xtianity, but I will be happy to answer any questions they have and try to represent atheism accurately to dispel false impressions/prejudices that they are likely to have. At least it's out in the open now, and it was helpful to me. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Sounds like a cool place. I used to say that "Starbucks" was my real church. Anyhow, that is interesting! Good for you for speaking the truth and being honest. I wonder how future interactions will go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hey J, Good on ya! Though, can I ask a question- what, exactly, is a cigar shop? Is it somewhere where you go to smoke cigars or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hmm, not even a definition on urban dictionary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I think it sounds great, anytime you get to be comfortable in your own skin and be your authentic self, it's just great! Good on ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 can I ask a question- what, exactly, is a cigar shop? Is it somewhere where you go to smoke cigars or something? I was going to ask the same question: what is a cigar shop? I want to go there, it sounds like a cool place, but I hate cigars and I don't like shopping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I think it's like a pub...or a place to buy cigars. :facepalm: I should know this. Dammit, now I wanna go to a pub.... *edit* Found a link to a cigar shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hey J, Good on ya! Though, can I ask a question- what, exactly, is a cigar shop? Is it somewhere where you go to smoke cigars or something? Yep, just a place you buy and smoke cigars, also known as a cigar lounge. And we play poker at our lounge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 A really good tattoo artist can work over those. Just a thought. And good for you for being yourself. Awesome story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Great story, jblueep! it's great to hear how things are moving along for you and your family. And I'm envious of your cigar shop! I miss cigars every so often - used to smoke one an evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will02 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 This is the main reason why I never got any tattoos. I never had anything so significant that I wanted to permanently ink it on my body because what is important to me right now may not matter at all in 5-10 years time and there's no way to know how you're going to feel ahead of time. For instance, if you asked me if I would ever be an atheist 5 years ago, I would have vehemently denied any possibility of that, but here I am today. I've heard how lots of people regret having to live with tats they got in their younger days and removal can be a real bitch. (I heard that some inks don't laser off completely and the laser hurts like hell) Every time I think about it, I never regret having no tattoos at all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 J, you can get the universal "No" symbol added - the circle with the sideways slash through it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Or save yourself the trouble of getting any thing else done to your tats and just reinterpret the symbols you have for your life today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Hmm. What an interesting concept. A tobacconist-cum-cafe. We'd never get one here- laws are too anti-smoking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 This is the main reason why I never got any tattoos. I never had anything so significant that I wanted to permanently ink it on my body because what is important to me right now may not matter at all in 5-10 years time and there's no way to know how you're going to feel ahead of time. Will02, you took the words right out of my mouth. NO tattoos for me, ever! Hey, this is a good idea for a tattoo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted March 20, 2012 Moderator Share Posted March 20, 2012 Wonderful story jb! This is hard stuff going through this. It's hard sometimes to be honest about who you really are. You've done well. I am proud of you. When you get tired of explaining the tattoo's - just tell people that they are ancient 'danger symbols' of 'darkness', which remind you constantly to love your neighbor to make a better world!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Wonderful story jb! This is hard stuff going through this. It's hard sometimes to be honest about who you really are. You've done well. I am proud of you. When you get tired of explaining the tattoo's - just tell people that they are ancient 'danger symbols' of 'darkness', which remind you constantly to love your neighbor to make a better world!! LOL Margee, I was thinking you could say you were attacked by some fundies who demanded they put gods mark on you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 This is the main reason why I never got any tattoos. I never had anything so significant that I wanted to permanently ink it on my body because what is important to me right now may not matter at all in 5-10 years time and there's no way to know how you're going to feel ahead of time. For instance, if you asked me if I would ever be an atheist 5 years ago, I would have vehemently denied any possibility of that, but here I am today. I've heard how lots of people regret having to live with tats they got in their younger days and removal can be a real bitch. (I heard that some inks don't laser off completely and the laser hurts like hell) Every time I think about it, I never regret having no tattoos at all. I see your point of course. I waited until I was 37 to get one. At the time, it was my "life message". But, like I said, in hindsight it was an subconscious attempt to go "all in" with my beliefs. Oh well, it is what it is. At least I've always been self employed, so it doesn't matter as far as employment. And I can always wear a long sleeve shirt when meeting a new client Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 The greek tattoo is "tetelestai" (the last words of christ), translated "it is finished", so I guess it still applies, just a different meaning now 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 The greek tattoo is "tetelestai" (the last words of christ), translated "it is finished", so I guess it still applies, just a different meaning now Hmmm, are you sure that maybe this was your subconcious message to be done with the religion? That actually sounds like a really cool tattoo. I would leave that one. I have one tattoo that I had done when I was 18. I have never regretted it. The super funny thing is, it's a Chinese word, wǔ, which almost sounds like woo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblueep Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Hmmm, are you sure that maybe this was your subconcious message to be done with the religion? That actually sounds like a really cool tattoo. I would leave that one. Could be Here it is: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Yeah, I would leave that one, it's pretty cool. I think you should tell people what it says when they ask, then explain that you used to work for the Greek Mafia. Check their reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I vote you get the word redone as a field of stylized grass and get the 4 Ponies of the Atheist Apocalypse inked frolicking through it. ... I can't believe I just typed that. But for real, seems like a good thing for people to hear a hardcore believer left that fairy tale! And I'm glad the guys were so cool about everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Here it is: [photo of tetelestai tattoo] Cool. In French, "tete les tai" means Suck the Thai It also looks like: Tête À Satan (Satan's Head) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 What does the other one say? I agree with everyone else, "it is finished" just means you are finished with Religion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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