Zephie Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 I don't understand how I came to the conclusion of unbelief when so many people stay believers. My mom called me about the Easter service at church today. I got rather sad about the fact that people who were supposedely my friends have not once called to find out where I've been. I tried so hard to be a good Christian last time. I read my Bible and did everything. I just couldn't continue to do it; to fight for my sanity everyday. I hated myself. I wanted to die. However, once I called bullshit on things, I realized that my future suddenly became bright,my self-confidence increased, etc. Don't get me wrong, so many good things have happened and yet I feel completely abandoned by people who once called me friend. Of course, they lost interest in me long before I left church. Eh, whatever, I'm no better. How many friends left that I didn't call? Probably many. How many times have I up and left then come back? Probably many. Oh well, just thinking I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Most of my old friends and family don't know about my deconversion, and Jesus hasn't bothered to tell them. I posted something rather paganish yesterday, and one of them posted a blurb (complete with standard capital letter emphasis) that HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS RISEN blah blah blah. So on the one hand it is grating and sad to deal with those still in the cult, but we must be free to be ourselves as we see fit. I know them well enough to know that their conformity to the faith extends only to how convenient it is. Sex outside of marriage? You betcha, all of 'em. But they looooove Jeeeeeesuuus. Right. My own path away from Jesus happened only when my malarky meter was pegged so much that I started questioning seriously and was not getting any answers. Then I noticed lots of similarities between cults on the news and what I had been doing for decades. I had an emotional slap in the face when a trusted pastor was found to be lying about the gobs of miracles he and his crew had been claiming. I had to admit that I had been tricked, even though all he had said was biblical. Then I asked the important question "I wonder what else I've believed that's a lie?" *squirm* But I was on a roll and started really asking hard questions of god, and didn't get any response (surprise!), and then went searching for others like myself and ended up here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
older Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Zephie: It sounds like your rational self and your emotional self are in a tussle over this. Your rational self knows that these people were not really your friends, but your emotional self is still hurt by their insincerity. A struggle for sure. If I had a magic wand, I'd wave it over you and make it all go away, but in the mean time here's a hug ( ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue elephant Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 The reason you bacame a non believer is that you decided to ask questions and follow where ever the sensible rational answers to the questions lead you. Not hard to do once you finally do it. In your post, you mentioned about the people you didn't call when they left the church. To work out why your 'friends' remaining in the cult have nt been calling you, try and think back to how you felt and why you didn't call people when they left. I think it has to do with the idea that while they know you follow the same belief system, they can confide their problems to you, and whatever advice you come up with will be from the perspective of what is right according to the constraints of that particular religion or denomination. Once you leave, they fear being lead astray by subtle differences in the advice that you may give them. They may also fear that they are leading you further astray by revealing their own less than perfect behaviour or their doubts etc etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted April 9, 2012 Author Share Posted April 9, 2012 @Fuego Wow. One of my friends knows and I think mom and dad may have figured it out. If they haven't then I'll tell them. They didn't freak when I moved out then they shouldn't freak now. I cannot stand it when people post about Jesus being the only one. Ick! @older Right on. My emotional/rational self is most certainly...battling itself. @Blue elephant I used to be afraid of that when I was younger but at one point with a church we were attending I purposefully talked to people we had been warned about to find out their side of the story. I needed to know the truth for myself regardless of where it led me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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