sethosayher Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I've made topics before discussing why I think Christian music tends to be so awful. The lyrics are always on the nose, the metaphors few and far between (or awful when implemented) and the music is almost universally never memorable. So lets list the worst of the worst. My vote: "I am a friend of God." The most inane part is bolded. The lyrics (from here) VERSE: Who am I that you are mindful of me That you hear me, when I call Is it true that you are thinking of me How you love me, it's amazing (Who am I Lord) [ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/i/israel_houghton/i_am_a_friend_of_god.html ] CHORUS: I am a friend of God I am a friend of God I am a friend of God He calls me friend Verse BRIDGE: God Almighty Lord of Glory You have called me friend Chorus Every time my church plays this I want to scream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Here's on oldie. Some Bible verses should never be put to music. Worst song ever: Great Is the Lord And Greatly to Be Praised by Unknown Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised In the city of our God In the mountain of His holiness Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth Is Mount Zion on the sides of the north The city of the great King Is Mount Zion on the sides of the north The city of the great King I'll never forget "beautifulforsitchewayshin". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kruszer Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Any song about having sex with Jesus gets my vote again. "Your friendship is intimate..." "I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace" "Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place..." "Spread wide in the arms of Christ..." http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Your-Love-Is-Extravagant-lyrics-Casting-Crowns/DE6C59E7B196EC8D48256E9C000DB7FD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I will admit to loving this song then realizing *when I was a xtian* how perverted the lyrics sounded... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I'm not sure if I hate the "sex with Jesus" songs, or the "we're really important because we're Christians" songs more. As an example of the "we're really important because we're Christians" songs, I give you the chorus of "History Maker": I'm gonna be a history maker in this landI'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind I'm gonna stand I'm gonna run into your arms Play this song, and all of the Christbots go running outside after the service thinking that they'll change the whole fucking world. Sorry, but you're all just typical New Jersey suburbanites, you're not going to change much in your entire lives, whether you're Christian or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paine Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 My favorite nonsensical, as I named it, KARAOKE for CHRIST song that I love to hate>>>> "HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD" >>>>> BUT I MUST CONFESS>>>>>>>>> I have a hymnal collection, and I love a good old time revival.....its the energy. The songs make me cry for a whole new reason now>>>because they are empty>>> but I still love a bee-hived fat lady banging on an organ and the choir singing. One of the reasons I started to hate church was the godamned Power Point screen and the electric guitars in church. I may be a Deist (leaning agnostic) but I am a TRADITIONALIST with regard to my taste in religious music. Oh>>>>>and a SHAPE NOTE CHOIR (like they sing in COLD MOUNTAIN)>>>>forget it>>>>I will always LOVE THAT...regardless of my lack of faith. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Here's another one I always disliked: Fall on me Ever so gently Washing, washing my filthy stains. Shower me In your love Breathe on, breathe on these dry bones. And break these chains And break these chains Set me free (x8) Follow me Wash me clean Shower me Breathe on me Break these chains Not only is it a "sex with Jesus" (thanks Trapped!) song and an "I-hate-myself" song, but I personally call it the "Filing Cabinet Song". You know those warning signs on tall filing cabinets that it might tip and *fall on you* if you have the top drawer weighted and open? Yes, that's how my brain works. Every time I had to sing this song, I envisioned filing cabinets with the top drawer open....falling on me. Stupid song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will02 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Ugh... I still have some of these songs trapped in my head and they can start playing without warning. If there were only a way to gouge them out, I would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paine Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Ugh... I still have some of these songs trapped in my head and they can start playing without warning. If there were only a way to gouge them out, I would. "gouge them out" LOL!!!! Interesting image.......one that may call for ...an EXORCISM!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! But you are SO right.....insomnia makes it worse. I am a GREAT CHOIR director at 3 am!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 My least favorite is Trust and Obey: trust and obeyfor there's no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey Kinda my favorite one also though in that it sums up christianity quite nicely: stfu, sit the fuck down, and stop asking questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackbauer Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 "I could sing of your love forever": typical dry and lifeless xtain pop. Another one I hate is "real good thing" by news boys. It just reinforces that "we're crap and we deserve crap" mindset Christianity promotes. Just reading the lyrics makes me rage. when we don't get what we deserve it's a real good thing (real good thing) when we get what we don't deserve it's a real good thing (a real good thing) born to sin and then get caught all our good deeds don´t mean squat sell the Volvo shred the Visa send the cash to Ma Theresa great idea the only catch is you don´t get saved on merit badges It's just the new age Christfag way of saying "You're worthless, nothing you do is good enough, and you deserve to be punished for it". Fuck that message. :rage: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chikirin Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Hillsongs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naughtyhamster Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Any song about having sex with Jesus gets my vote again. "Your friendship is intimate..." "I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace" "Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place..." "Spread wide in the arms of Christ..." http://www.sing365.c...8256E9C000DB7FD Or worse are the Christian songs that sound like a Christianized version of that Eminem and Rhianna song Love the Way You Lie. Those kind of songs always make Jesus sound like an abusive boyfriend with a masochistic girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConureDelSol Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Speaking of sex with Jesus. My church actually butchers Jesusfies older popular songs. Many of these songs were about sex, so the lyrics are just awful. I can hardly listen to classic rock radio anymore without hearing a song they've destroyed. Having been a musician and a lover of music in general, it makes me cry when people disrespect classic songs the way my church does. The worst part is there is actually some sort of Christian organization that sells some sort of copyright thing so artists can't sue the church for stealing and vomiting Christian lyrics all over their songs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 "Power in the Blood" - always kinda grossed me out, even as a believer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djoker Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 "Dum Dum" by Tadashii ft Lecrae My tennis team used the extra money we got from selling concessions during tournaments and matches to buy a speaker to play music while we warm up. Since a majority of the team is Christian... a lot of the songs are annoying Christian rap songs. I can't get pumped up at all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will02 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 "Power in the Blood" - always kinda grossed me out, even as a believe. Sounds like something a church full of vampires would sing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Oh be careful little eyes what you see For the Father up above is looking down . . . A few verses later: Oh be careful little minds what you think wudafuk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 "Power in the Blood" - always kinda grossed me out, even as a believe. Sounds like something a church full of vampires would sing. Right! The "church" sucks the life right out of people for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Kiss the Son Here is the illustrated edition. When you've been broken, broken to pieces. And Your heart begins to faint 'cause you don't understand. And when there is nothing to rake from the ashes. And you can't even walk onto the fields of praise. But I bow down and kiss the Son. Oh, and I bow down and kiss the Son. Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth. Let the praise of the Lord be in my mouth. Well, though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord. Well, though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord. Though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord. Though You slay me, I will trust You, Lord. When the rock falls, falls upon you. And you get ground to dust no music for your pain. You open the windows, the windows of heaven. And then You opened me and You crushed me like a rose. Great. Now my brain's working over time on this topic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoneTarus Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 The type of songs that irritated me the most were songs that were all about bragging about how awesome their denomination was. I don't have the lyrics available (I wish I did since they would make a great addition to this thread) but here's bits of it "I didn't know the power of God until I walked into an apostolic church" and it goes down hill from there basically boasting about how great it is to be part of an apostolic denomination because they are so special that God shows up. and they speak in tongues and whatnot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kruszer Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 My least favorite is Trust and Obey: trust and obeyfor there's no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey Kinda my favorite one also though in that it sums up christianity quite nicely: stfu, sit the fuck down, and stop asking questions. That was the song that played at my baptism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahinprogress Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Omg fuck! That was hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilcoppertop Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I will admit to loving this song then realizing *when I was a xtian* how perverted the lyrics sounded... OMG! This was my favourite song a couple summers ago! I listened to it over and over again....and other similar songs...but this particular one was a pretty constant favourite of mine. I think I've since deleted all that kind of music off my ipod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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