stryper Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 There is nothing that can change the past or erase what happened. (electroshock therapy excluded) However, I think it helps to remember you now is not the you when you were woo. You might look back and think how could I have been so stupid. I was such a moron. Why did I do this to myself? I feel that true growth is eventually realizing that you were in a different place then. There was something about the religion or group or person that you felt you needed. It filled something that you felt lacking. For those raised in it, it was just the way it was. For me, I couldn't wait to get out. I wanted to sleep in on Sundays. I hated the christians who only showed up on Easter and Christmas. Then would be grateful when we went on a vacation where church couldn't happen. Among many other hypocritical things. But there was a comfort in the ritual and sameness of being in church. The pews would always be uncomfortable. The people would always sing badly. And the organist always seemed to really enjoy her music. And then it changed. I will never again have what i did when in the church. But it doesn't matter. My ex-girlfriends are not my wife. A couple would be hard pressed to be that stable. Still they, like religion, happened. But I choose to remember that the me that would date them or be in religion is not the me now. I chose to leave the religion. I sometimes chose to leave the ex's. And I choose to remember that now I would probably not choose that relationship again. For I am different from when I was then. Thank me! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted April 16, 2012 Moderator Share Posted April 16, 2012 I feel that true growth is eventually realizing that you were in a different place then. There was something about the religion or group or person that you felt you needed. It filled something that you felt lacking. For I am different from when I was then. Thank me! Oh strypee... you are right on today!! Wonderful post!!. As I said a few days ago on EX-c.....I am finally me.....the real me...the human me..... the person who does good, the person who does bad sometimes...who no longer needs to carry all the shame of the mistakes of the past ...who no longer has to worry about pleasing 'the god's', pleasing all the people in the world..... the girl who wasn't born in sin...... but born in passion, between 2 people who were procreating and full of 'lust' for life!! How nice it is to have this information and knowedge in my mind now. How freeing it is to be able to choose my own direction and not have to worry about 'the will of the lord!' 'My will be done, on earth... as it is on earth!!'' I needed religion back then...I couldn't make it on my own.... because I needed the approval from god and the people. I needed the people to tell me I was OK. I needed a savior back then because I didn't think I could save myself. But it was me all along!! I am the one who survived it all with the help of real good friends.... and some of them were not christian. I needed the afterlife because I needed heaven to rescue me from earth. I needed hell to keep me in line because I was afraid to be me!! I'm not afraid of death...... I'm OK ( for most of the time) with going back to 'stardust' hopefully. If that includes reincarnation and another life here...bring it on!! Hug for you today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 It's true! We grow and we change. We make the best decisions we can with the best available information at the time. No use kicking ourselves for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scriptor Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Good post. The fact is, we all learn by making mistakes. And most of our mistakes seem pretty silly when we look back on them. But it doesn't matter: the important thing is that we learn something from our mistakes. All of us are, at least in part, the sum of our experiences. If I had never been a Christian, I would probably be a very different person than I am today. Maybe for the better, but maybe not. There is no way to know. All I know for sure is who I am now. And the only thing I have any control over is who I will be tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Excellent post! I don't regret my time in church. I try not to regret anything stupid I did when I was younger. Every mistake I made--and oh my dear heavens there were many--got me one step closer to where I am now. And where I am now is really nice. It's not wise to fuck with the timelines; I've read way too much science fiction to think otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Thank you Stryper for the reminder that we aren't who we were when we were full throttle in the cult. I have many regrets, but at the same time I guess going through it all has made me the person I am today..which might or might not be so good. I can look back & see the reasons why I was attracted to bible religion & then the love bombing & trusting folks who I shouldn't have trusted. Over time it became clear how the "grace" thing changed to "work, work, work!! sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice!!" If anything, I am very glad to have gotten out. I am a changed person for sure & I think a good thing is that I have more compassion now because of my experiences. I've also met some wonderful friends as a result of my cult experience....& I found Ex-Christian!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephie Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 There is nothing that can change the past or erase what happened. (electroshock therapy excluded) However, I think it helps to remember you now is not the you when you were woo. You might look back and think how could I have been so stupid. I was such a moron. Why did I do this to myself? I feel that true growth is eventually realizing that you were in a different place then. There was something about the religion or group or person that you felt you needed. It filled something that you felt lacking. For those raised in it, it was just the way it was. For me, I couldn't wait to get out. I wanted to sleep in on Sundays. I hated the christians who only showed up on Easter and Christmas. Then would be grateful when we went on a vacation where church couldn't happen. Among many other hypocritical things. But there was a comfort in the ritual and sameness of being in church. The pews would always be uncomfortable. The people would always sing badly. And the organist always seemed to really enjoy her music. And then it changed. I will never again have what i did when in the church. But it doesn't matter. My ex-girlfriends are not my wife. A couple would be hard pressed to be that stable. Still they, like religion, happened. But I choose to remember that the me that would date them or be in religion is not the me now. I chose to leave the religion. I sometimes chose to leave the ex's. And I choose to remember that now I would probably not choose that relationship again. For I am different from when I was then. Thank me! Not only do I feel this way about God but I also feel this way about my exes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts