HanSoto Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 My de-conversion story...if you want to call it that: I spent a good amount of time reading the best of what Christian apologetics had to offer over the last couple of years to deal with the questions I had about Hell and various other doctrines but ultimately none of them seemed very compelling. The arguments for Christianity that once seemed good, no longer did. I also studied the Bible a lot more,prayed a lot more for the proper interpretation and did some of my own research on things. I realized that there were so many more interpretations on the Bible and christian theology than I had ever known existed, and many of them had very convincing arguments to back them up. Many times more so convincing than what was deemed the "traditional" interpretation. This opened my eyes to see that there really doesn't seem to be a fool-proof method for determining the right interpretation of the Bible...let alone the right interpretation of God or anything of that sort. People have designed methods, of course, but it seemed they all had the fatal flaw of building everything on huge assumptions. They would say things like "interpret scripture with scripture" without giving any clear (or at least, sensible) boundaries on what particular scriptures were supposed to have hierarchy over other scriptures. If they did, it was always sure to support their own particular theological bias, which didn't seem like a great truth finding method to me. Following the "holy spirit" was also supposed to be a way to interpret the Bible properly, but again it seemed that many people had come to many different conclusions all claiming to be led "by the spirit". The easy thing to do would be to just say that everyone who disagrees with you is not actually led by the spirit, but I wondered who could honestly make that call? Who was I to say that a person of a different belief was not led by the spirit of God? Why, if the Bible is supposed to be Gods infallible, inerrant word, was there so much room for error and subjectivity when it came to interpreting it? My conclusion was that God's word was something bigger and more far reaching than the pages of a book that man put together, though it may often invade and indwell within parts of what man has created. I also came to realize that people of differing beliefs often did not come off as deceived, or willfully God-rejecting as I had perceived them to be in previous years. I began to see them as people just like me, with real questions and a real desire for truth. Like my discoveries about the Bible, this did not fit my previous Christian worldview at all. How could God send or allow people to be tortured forever for simply not dying with the right set of ideas about him or method of salvation? How could that be called the epitome of love and justice? To my mind and heart, it could not. And while the mind and heart can sometimes be deceiving, what else was I to really use? If I could not trust my heart and mind at all, how could I ever hope to know God at all? If I could not trust my mind and my heart, what on earth could I trust? Since even to say the Bible is true or Christianity is true is essentially a decision of the mind and heart to begin with, the line had to be drawn somewhere for me. So I decided to follow my heart and my mind and the same spirit that I felt has been leading me since I was a child, praying the entire way. And while I don't feel that I have many definite answers anymore, I feel fairly certain about one thing: That while God may certainly be at work in Christianity as well as in other religions, as I can attest to... he is not confined to any one religion. Afterall, how could religious structures made my finite beings ever hope to truly contain or define the INfinite? Logically impossible. All religion makes an attempt to understand a deeper part of our reality and our meaning than humans can really wrap their minds around, so it's always going to fall short 100% of the time...even when it may be partially correct. What the partially correct assumptions of all religions are is debatable, but I think it can be summed up in what Jesus said "Love God and love your neighbor as yourself". That's it. That's all I think God really wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectrox Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 A very interesting and subtle deconversion story. I liked it. I could relate to it. Welcome aboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 I have the same opinion, if there's a God, he's a heck of a lot bigger than religions around the world (although they may touch on God in some way, we may never know). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitzer Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Interesting, HanSoto, and thanks for sharing. I don't have any beliefs in any dieties. But I'd never question your sincerety or your searching. I don't claim to KNOW there are no dieties...rather, I simply don't know, yet feel that likely there are not...unless you would consider collective consciousness a diety. That said, whether there is or isn't, I wholeheartedly agree it's still a very good thing if we would all respect and show love to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Hi HS! Welcome to Ex-C. I can relate a lot to your story, in that I experienced a gradual shift in my thinking and worldview, away from fundagelical Christianity. It was like tectonic plates shifting--I didn't see it but saw the effects. Arguments that once seemed sound suddenly sucked. The more I read my Bible, the less I understood it. The more I prayed, the less I felt my prayers were going anywhere. I think if there were a set of identified 'pathways to deconversion', this type would be called "organic". Thanks for sharing--see you around the forums! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeasabird Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Welcome, thanks for sharing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 The doctrine of hell was one of the hardest things for me to accept as an evangelical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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