Djoker Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 The gay-straight alliance club at my school just had a day of silence today to go against LGBT bullying. Basically, you could sign up to support and get a pin that said you were a silent supporter(stay silent all day) or a vocal supporter(defend those that are silent). I signed up as a silent supporter; this is the first time I've ever done anything to indicate to the general public what my views are and I was rightfully nervous. Most of the day was fine, though I did go out of my way to avoid conflict at times. I skipped my study hall entirely to avoid the people in that class that I knew would say something bad by going to the computer room. But in history class... I learned so much... I learned that one of my better friends was also a silent supporter, I learned that another friend is agnostic and I learned that another friend, whom i really liked, is a huge bigot. This bigot of a friend spent most of the period talking with a fellow bigot about how we should all help reform gay people, that anti-bully policy focuses on them too much and that it's not natural. The thing that really sucked about all of this is that I was a SILENT supporter and there were no vocal supporters in my class. I had to sit there for an hour while they talked about all these things while anger, frustration and sadness built up within me. By the end of the period I was shaking like crazy and just wanted to cry. They had wanted me to talk, but I didn't. The thing that I hate most about one of these kids is that he doesn't seem to have a mind of his own. Almost every sentence that comes out of his mouth starts with "My dad said..." His father is the leader of the local pro-life movement and started this "40 days" thing where someone is always praying outside of the local clinic for 40 days for the end of abortion. His father is incredibly religious and his son is a complete copy of him. It's like this kid can't come up with an opinion of his own... But what really pissed me off is the smug way he asked me "Wait, do you think all gay acts are appropriate?" as if he had something to say that would blow my mind about how horrible gay people are. During tennis practice today, I put the pin in my pocket. I feel like a coward... I stayed silent, but I just could handle it anymore. I had to play Ultimate Frisbee with the team while Christian rap was blaring in the background; not a good environment for me to act pro-LGBT. In the end, I'm just incredibly frustrated and I just had to vent... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norton65ca Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 wow. Life in Texas eh? you should move up here to Canada, the support is way better and the bullies will pretty much be silenced by the supporters. That's appalling. Things are changing everywhere but I do feel really sorry when I read all these testimonies from the south, what a nightmare it must be to have to deal with all that. I can't imagine, the society up here is far more liberal and free of that kind of bigotry. I'm not saying it doesn't exist but it seems like you guys live in another universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalWreck Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Well Djoker, I want to applaud you for being a supporter during this "day of silence" and being a supporter of gays, especially in Texas which is a conservative state. That took guts. I'm gay, and I know that I wish we would've had gay-straight alliance group when I was in high school in the 90's - it would've been nice to know I had straight supporters. There should be more people like you! Also, good for you for realizing early on what bullshit Christianity is - I wish I would've woken up sooner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 If any of the kids at my school were silent, I did not notice. I did notice a certain awareness on their part of the mj aspect of 4/20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 DJ, thanks for trying at least. I think it was brave of you to go even that far. I don't know if I could have at your age. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 My high school was pretty liberal so the "Day of Silence" there had little if any opposition. It took guts for you to do that when you knew you'd be facing bigots like that. Don't beat yourself up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Djoker, good for you for taking a stand. Anything is better than nothing, do not look at your frustration as failure. See it for what it is, frustration. Just because you chose to be silent in support of something you believe in does not mean your "voice" has been shut down. You could have still communicated by writing your disgust at this person on a piece of paper and telling them to stop being a jerk. Or you could communicate by common sign language, holding your hand up in a stop signal. I would have avoided the middle finger one though . I realize that you were trying to avoid conflict but you still had a "voice", don't feel like you were doing something good and ended up being frustrated and annoyed because you lost the power to communicate. Also realize that the jerks know how to take advantage of the day of silence. It's the only day they will ever get to voice their opinion without opposition. They live for situations where they can spout their stupidness and not be challenged. In the end you and everyone else who participated did a good thing. It hurt no one to take a stand against a common harm. Bullying has existed for too long in schools, any voice is better than no voice. Jerks will always reveal themselves, just give them the chance. Don't let the negative people dictate your existence. You did something good, and that's the only thing that matters. Each time you do, it gets easier. Your friend who parrots his dad will actually end up with many problems later in life. He is more likely to become a future Ex-C member, after he finds himself a boyfriend of course. His parents will be really upset when he brings home a man and then tells them he no longer goes to church. But his struggle could go on and on into his later years in life. Why? Because he is trapped in the god cult of his family and is too afraid to have his own thoughts and ideals. You chose to have your own thoughts and ideals right now by taking a stand against something you believe is wrong. And you are ahead of the game by being a member of the happy heathens here at Ex-C . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Yes, good job taking a stand, Djoker. If you do find yourself in conversations with kids who ask whether every gay act is appropriate and such things, you may want to point out that heterosexual couples beyond child-bearing age are still allowed to marry, both in the Bible and in state law. Not even the Church can make a serious claim that procreation is the only right purpose for sex, even though they try to claim that, since they allow senior citizens to marry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Good point, Ficino; I'm sterilized, and my husband is largely sterile. We've both been married before and we're unabashed perverts. But apparently it's totally okay for us and a host of other varieties of perverted and non-breeding heteros to marry and fuck however we want, and these sheltered little high school christbots don't care at all. But their little worlds end at the idea of gay guys hugging. I wonder if they know that evangelical girls probably have more buttsex per year than the average gay guy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Heh heh, Akheia you of course will know that "sodomy" (I mean anal sex) was punishable by death in Renaissance Venice and I believe in other cities of that period, whether hetero or homo, and even within marriage. But this doesn't affect my argument (stolen from Andrew Sullivan) that the Church is off to forbid gay sex AND allow, let's say, missionary position sex to married heteros who can't have children AND to justify it all with claims about procreation as necessary "intentionality" of sexual acts. I didn't know that butt sex was something that evangelical girls submitted to often--I would have thought, mostly giving blow jobs--but it doesn't surprise me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 It sure wasn't that way when *I* was in school, I assure you. In senior year, I only knew one girl out of a senior class of about 800 who was for sure having sex besides myself, and I wasn't having that kind of sex. But the push for "purity" and abstinence-at-all-costs has produced a strange internalization. Bill Maher's riffed that he graduated decades too late to reap the benefits of evangelical hypocrisy. It's seriously insane that a church would even poke its nose into any form of sex. Jesus sure didn't seem to care--he didn't talk about it much at all, IIRC. He certainly never mentioned gay people and never made it sound like condemning abortion and gay sex were the linchpins of moral behavior. The entire thrust of the evangelical church seems like it's about circling the wagons and building turrets--polarizing opinions, qualifying who's in the "in" crowd, and alienating groups of people from each other. They've weaponized sexuality, and there is not much more that's sadder than a teenager--who really should be just having fun and learning and growing up--who tries to wade into those murky waters and preach about shit they don't even understand or have thought through. Years ago a young friend and I had a discussion about just this topic. He's a non-Christian, but lives in a profoundly fundie city in the heartland and it alas had infected much of his thinking. I still remember it very well: Him: But gays can't have children. Marriage is for procreating and protecting the interests of children. Me: DH and I can't have children because we're sterile. And old people can't have kids either. Are you seriously saying that only heterosexual couples with proven fertility who plan to procreate should be allowed to marry? Him: ... I hate you. Fun times. He got better though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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