asanerman Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I’ve never had a "Damascus" experience, I've never seen the "Light." I've never seen "a burning bush" or heard the audible and bold words "where art thou?" I’ve had no NDE. I have had and “heard” only silence all my life! What has been more painful than the Silence is the interpretations of the intermediaries. The interpretations of those in the "know," the guardians of the “Light.” In their ministerial anxiety these intermediaries seem like flies buzzing all around as I sit on what they suppose is my "dung heap" of ordinary experience and suffering! These intermediaries do nothing but get in the way! It is told that Virginia Wolf once wrote to a friend, "I read the Book of Job last night--I don't think God comes well out of it." I would add, neither do Job's friends, the intermediaries of God. They do their best work before they open their mouths. Seven days they sit with Job, struck as dumb as he is by the enormity of his suffering, witnesses of his unjust agony (which, by the way, Job's suffering was the result of a god-damned bet unbeknownst to all involved). But their compassion for him dissolves once he starts railing at God. Instead of defending their friend Job against God, they defend God against their friend. Nothing has changed for the friends of that sick concept of God since. The sky can grow dark with the smoke from burning human bodies without so much as a whimper from God while the ministerial flies buzz in their anxiety explaining how wrong we humans are! There are days when I make up my own mind and heart about the totality which is my ultimate context, that is when I authentically trust the Context of my human existence in the same manner as I trust my own body to function in a way that sustains my living (healthy or not) and the world (healthy or not), which I trust will be here tomorrow as I sleep in it tonight. How do I trust that nothing is guaranteed and at the same time cultivate what Erikson called "basic trust." How do I trust that the trajectory of existence is wholeness, health, growth--in the face of disease, old age, death, war, cruelty, injustice? How shall I trust those dimensions of reality that impinge upon my existence but are beyond my ultimate control that both sustain and destroy at random without regard. How is it that I honestly trust the unknown and the known Gestalt of which life is forged? I remain ignorant about the Totality which is my intimate context. As I choose to trust myself to the happenings which interweave with my energies to form this creature that I am I find rest even in the midst of the whole catastrophe of life. I've learned from old Job how to doubt not only the notion of "God" but the function of the word "God." Job's experience taught me to doubt the crowd with whom I journey. I choose to journey with the likes of those who never try to invade my “awful” (the glorious as well as the abominable) inwardness with false comfort or advice. I choose to travel with the likes of those who simply stand on the boundaries of their own life experience and model respect for me and my journey--and the courage to let it be--fully knowing that what life asks of me is what I need to endure, to survive and to flourish. No, I've never seen the "Light" but I trust the Silence-- the Silent language of my body, the Silent language of my own experience--the “happenings” of my existence! And the silent language of the faithful unbelieving lovers of truth who stand at the boundaries, listening, modeling courage, integrity, strength, grace. Some say Silence is golden! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I love this, asanerman. So true. I just read this last night: http://www.infidels.org/kiosk/article827.html about human suffering and how theists and atheists view it. It is largely a critique of the William Lane Craig view on suffering--that suffering always serves a cosmic purpose. It's a fantastic deconstruction of that view. I choose to journey with the likes of those who never try to invade my “awful” (the glorious as well as the abominable) inwardness with false comfort or advice. I choose to travel with the likes of those who simply stand on the boundaries of their own life experience and model respect for me and my journey--and the courage to let it be--fully knowing that what life asks of me is what I need to endure, to survive and to flourish. I was surprised by kindness and respect when I left the church and ran into the arms of the unsaved masses, fleeing from my own 'friends of Job'. I choose my joy along this journey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babylonian Dream Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Yes, very well written. So true. Also, where is God with everyone's suffering? What about the kids being starved then shot to death in Darfur? Where is God in the christian nation of Uganda, where the christians are trying to implement biblical law, while there is poverty and people going to bed hungry? What about elsewhere? Forget humanity, he doesn't even treat his own devoted people right, the ones that grovel their heads to the ground in his favor every night for him. What does he do to show his appreciation? Just let them go worship him in the afterlife on his altar, instead of burning in hell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asanerman Posted April 22, 2012 Author Share Posted April 22, 2012 I was surprised by kindness and respect when I left the church and ran into the arms of the unsaved masses, fleeing from my own 'friends of Job'. I choose my joy along this journey! ... where is God... It's extremely nice to have "listeners!" Many thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asanerman Posted April 22, 2012 Author Share Posted April 22, 2012 My sanity depends on trusting the silence and then laughing because it must be said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts