Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Thinking Of Going To Church Tomorrow


blackpudd1n

Recommended Posts

Funny, you brought up this topic Pudd, cause I have been thinking the exact same thing of going to a pentecostal church just to see how I would feel now. It's been 3 years for me. I'll look forward to hearing how you felt and then I'll make my decision!!

 

Funny, the other day, I sang one of my old gospel songs on my accompaniment tape and I got rather into the spirit and emotional???? I think it was because of the fact that it really is a beautiful melody.. that's all.

 

....looking forward to your report!!

 

The service is in a little over five hours, so in about eight I should have something written up.

 

With regards to how you felt when you were listening to the gospel music, perhaps the emotional reaction you had was the one you have been programmed to have over many years of church attendance, and not really indicative at all of your true emotional feelings on hearing the song?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Pudd! Nice to see you. smile.png

 

I think it will be an interesting experiment, especially now that you are armed with objectivity and rational explanations. I would love to hear your thoughts afterwards as you deconstruct the whole thing!

 

Hey Pos,

 

I think it will be interesting! Neither my dad or my fiancee get why I'm doing it, but they're both used to my weirdness lol. It's going to be a purely intellectual exercise for me :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pudd you seem to have made up your mind about me permanantly, but I wanted to ask you something here which may be a bit off topic to this thread...

 

Have you ever heard of Kay Jamison? I think she's pretty awesome. She has been a clinical psychologist who herself has manic-depression. She's written several books, one of which I read and thought was outstanding.

 

She's very intelligent, and passionate, and honest.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You guys really are masochists! I really have no desire to ever step foot in a church again...and I don't even feel emotionally scarred/have any hard feelings over my loss of faith! smile.png

 

I am excited to hear your report.

 

I'm interested to see how I will react, I've got to say. I really hate the idea of anyone being forced to go to church against their will, including myself. But doing it of my own volition and for my own purposes I'm cool with.

 

I feel a little out of touch with social trends within church culture, too, so I'll be interested to see what are common topics of conversation and common buzz words and phrases, whether they have changed any in the time I've been out of church.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't want to give the appearance of support or agreement with any church. I will only enter one for occasions that are obviously NOT worship services - funerals and weddings.

 

If you're bent on going, perhaps you could suddenly arise from the pew and start speaking in tongues.

 

hahahaha- I'm going to try to resist the temptation to do so.

 

I don't see it as appearing to give support or be in agreeance- I'm going to be open about my atheism, and why I'm there. If I can wrangle it, I wouldn't mind having a chat to a pastor, too. They have a coffee shop there, apparently, so that could give rise to some interesting discussions, too.

 

The whole idea arose last week, when a woman from this particular church came up to my dad, dressed as he was in his riding vest and jeans and invited him to church. I thought, 'game on, bitch'. I take offence to the notion that my dad looked like a sinner needing to be saved simply because of how he was dressed.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

the last time i was in a church it was for my mun's funeral

and I found myself more pissed off with the whole frigging god thing than spending time saying bye to my mum

 

I think I would have more trouble with a funeral, myself. Simply because it seems like a lot of funeral services held in church or christian settings focus more on how the person was as a christian, or convincing the people attending of their need to be saved, than remembering the person who just passed. I think that sort of behaviour is really insensitive to the grief of the family and friends of the person who died, and I reckon I would be angry in the same situation.

 

Or pentecostal services, where they're all really happy the person died, because now they're "with jesus". Like, seriously, could anyone get any more psychopathic?!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good to test your objectivity. I wouldn't expect much though.

 

8-9 years ago I went to church because my parents roped my wife into agreeing when I wasn't around to balk. It was pretty anti climactic. About the same as I remembered it. My biggest impression from the experience was the familiarity of it all. The sermon was pretty run of the mill and one I could pretty much paraphrase almost perfectly because I'd heard it so many times. It was so familiar to me even after more than a decade off the koolaid, so I thought to myself here's my parents who have been listening to this same shit for 60 odd years and yet they still get up and go each Sunday. Don't they get bored? Don't they ever want more? Even if you believe the shit, you'd think you would want a mental challenge. Hearing the same basic stuff over and over and over has to be like Chinese water torture at some point. This bugged me when I was 20 and still a believer. How could it not bug my parents at 60+?

 

I have to be secretly adopted. I seem to have nothing at all in common with my family. They are even nice people. smile.png

 

I'm interested in the lights and music, too. How they're used to create an emotional response in the attendees. I'm also going to be on the look out for anything I would have formerly agreed with that I don't now, and any outlandish biblical stories that are really just repulsive- I remember a sermon once about... was it David?... And having to cut off 200 men's foreskins to marry this woman. Now, I'm like, how dispicable. Back then, I thought it was a lovely story Wendyloser.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You should go dressed as jesus. Shouting to the people that you've returned. Would be hella funny.

 

lol jesus is a woman. That would be funny, except that I have bipolar, and there's a chance I could find myself in the psych ward as a result of thinking I was the saviour. I don't really need any questions about my mental health, this close to the operation lol

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pudd you seem to have made up your mind about me permanantly, but I wanted to ask you something here which may be a bit off topic to this thread...

 

Have you ever heard of Kay Jamison? I think she's pretty awesome. She has been a clinical psychologist who herself has manic-depression. She's written several books, one of which I read and thought was outstanding.

 

She's very intelligent, and passionate, and honest.

 

No, I've never heard of her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pudd you seem to have made up your mind about me permanantly, but I wanted to ask you something here which may be a bit off topic to this thread...

 

Have you ever heard of Kay Jamison? I think she's pretty awesome. She has been a clinical psychologist who herself has manic-depression. She's written several books, one of which I read and thought was outstanding.

 

She's very intelligent, and passionate, and honest.

 

No, I've never heard of her.

 

Well thank you for the long, detailed, and considerate response. :HaHa: Come on Pudd. We can be friends, but I'm not going to beg you.

 

Anyway, yeah, if you get a chance to look at some of her stuff then I would recommend it. Her memoirs, An Unquiet Mind, was an excellent book in my opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I end up going at least 3-4 times a week, i would do anything to be in your shoes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just went to church for the first time in 18 months. I went because my mom was visiting. It did feel weird. The old hymns sort of pulled on the ol' heartstrings a little. I just maintained a respectful silence standing at ease, but not saying any of the old prayers. It also felt weird staying at the pew while everyone else went for communion. But in the end it wasn't a horrible thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I go once in awhile because I do miss the people there. My best friend is home from Biblical Uni and I like to see her. I used to get all angry sitting in church, but I like to keep an open mind and stay positive. If I'm feeling especially bitter on a Sunday morning, I simply don't go.

 

Last week I blasted "Highway to Hell" in my car on my drive there. I sat with a recently de-converted friend and took notes.

Instead of feeling guilty though, I kept a running track of the times would have felt guilty if I believed in any of it. It worked fabulously!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sigh... I may not end up getting there, after all. Just been struck down with my second lot of periods since my op was *meant* to happen on the 28th. I'll see how I feel in an hour, but I've already had pain consistently for the last two hours now. And I can't take any naprogesic, either, because the hospital failed to confirm last week whether I was going in on the 18th or 25th of this month, and I'm not allowed to take naprogesic for 7 days before the operation, which if it's the 18th, means that I'm fucked. Motherfuckers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sigh... I may not end up getting there, after all. Just been struck down with my second lot of periods since my op was *meant* to happen on the 28th. I'll see how I feel in an hour, but I've already had pain consistently for the last two hours now. And I can't take any naprogesic, either, because the hospital failed to confirm last week whether I was going in on the 18th or 25th of this month, and I'm not allowed to take naprogesic for 7 days before the operation, which if it's the 18th, means that I'm fucked. Motherfuckers.

 

Take care! Good luck with the OP.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sigh... I may not end up getting there, after all. Just been struck down with my second lot of periods since my op was *meant* to happen on the 28th. I'll see how I feel in an hour, but I've already had pain consistently for the last two hours now. And I can't take any naprogesic, either, because the hospital failed to confirm last week whether I was going in on the 18th or 25th of this month, and I'm not allowed to take naprogesic for 7 days before the operation, which if it's the 18th, means that I'm fucked. Motherfuckers.

 

Take care! Good luck with the OP.

 

Thanks man :) I'll reschedule my experiment for next weekend. I've got to confess, the weather did play a role in turning me off, too- it's cold, and raining. It's one thing to feel like shit on a nice day, but when it's cold and wet? Forget it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Pudd

 

An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison is really worth reading. Story of a woman with bipolar who becomes a professor once she comes to terms with her bipolar.

 

That REALLY sucks about being unable to take medication because they will not give you a firm date for surgery!! Hope it does happen on the 17th!

 

I might just go and do a little experiment myself on some crazy church service. Just have to find one that is loony toon enough. Maybe Revival Center?????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Pudd

 

An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison is really worth reading. Story of a woman with bipolar who becomes a professor once she comes to terms with her bipolar.

 

That REALLY sucks about being unable to take medication because they will not give you a firm date for surgery!! Hope it does happen on the 17th!

 

I might just go and do a little experiment myself on some crazy church service. Just have to find one that is loony toon enough. Maybe Revival Center?????

 

I will probably have a look for it on the book depository. I'm not surprised she was able to reclaim her life post-bipolar. I'm of the view that too many people effectively disable themselves, and are disabled by other people telling them what their capacities are, rather than finding out for themselves. I see mental health conditions as something that we learn to live with. While they take some adjusting to, and definitely require some time out from life while the person learns how to manage their symptoms, I don't see it as the end of life, just the beginning of a different type of life. A quieter life. A slower-paced life. A life that's a little more eccentric.

 

I'm more peeved about the fact that I'm feeling pain because of what that operating team did. And I'm getting really pissed about the hospital going into damage control. Pissed enough to be looking for a lawyer, put it that way.

 

For social experiments, I reckon any pentecostal church is good loony fodder lol. The bigger the better. I think I will start making it a regular habit. Go visit them all. There's a "Bible Church" in town that I've heard a few things about, and run into a couple of times in the street- they're out to save everyone's souls, and seem very fundy. I think I'll give them a whack, too. Hmm. I might end up with quite a dossier on the local churches.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You guys really are masochists! I really have no desire to ever step foot in a church again...and I don't even feel emotionally scarred/have any hard feelings over my loss of faith! smile.png

 

I am excited to hear your report.

 

That's exactly how I feel, too.

 

Plus, I couldn't trust myself not to blurt out a few choice "cuss" words when the stupidity reaches full tilt. And, even if I could keep quiet, I don't think I could prevent a look of disgust spreading over my face. I guess I'm too immature to do well as an undercover anthropologist (or poker player). huh.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about your pain, Pudd. I hope you feel better soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sigh... I may not end up getting there, after all. Just been struck down with my second lot of periods since my op was *meant* to happen on the 28th. I'll see how I feel in an hour, but I've already had pain consistently for the last two hours now. And I can't take any naprogesic, either, because the hospital failed to confirm last week whether I was going in on the 18th or 25th of this month, and I'm not allowed to take naprogesic for 7 days before the operation, which if it's the 18th, means that I'm fucked. Motherfuckers.

 

Take care! Good luck with the OP.

 

Thanks man smile.png I'll reschedule my experiment for next weekend. I've got to confess, the weather did play a role in turning me off, too- it's cold, and raining. It's one thing to feel like shit on a nice day, but when it's cold and wet? Forget it!

 

Here is some fun:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about your pain, Pudd. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Thanks Thackerie. I'm just glad this all came to a head now, when I am an atheist, rather than when I was a fundy. Now when I have a medical issue, I see a doctor, I don't sit around praying.

You guys really are masochists! I really have no desire to ever step foot in a church again...and I don't even feel emotionally scarred/have any hard feelings over my loss of faith! smile.png

 

I am excited to hear your report.

 

That's exactly how I feel, too.

 

Plus, I couldn't trust myself not to blurt out a few choice "cuss" words when the stupidity reaches full tilt. And, even if I could keep quiet, I don't think I could prevent a look of disgust spreading over my face. I guess I'm too immature to do well as an undercover anthropologist (or poker player). huh.png

 

I don't know if it's so much about being able to keep a poker face, as that I've just moved so far away from christianity, despite how short a time it's been since I left. I was off-the-charts fundy-crazy, so hearing fundies say outrageous stuff is something I kind of expect. I know why they say all that horrible shit. Doesn't mean I agree with it or condone it, it just makes me roll my eyes more than anything else and pity them in their ignorance. It's kind of hard to explain. I'm not cold or insensitive, it's just that the way I look at things in general, something will only affect me and consume me if I allow it to. So when I get pissed off, say, I have a vent, and then focus on doing something to sort out the issue so it doesn't keep affecting me. Deal with shit as it comes up, I guess. As far as christianity is concerned, I think I've just gotten all those negative emotions out of my system. And should anything else come up, then I'll deal with it then.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't been to church, except for one time, since I was a child except for weddings and funerals. Paradoxically, I abhor weddings except for the food and drink, but I loves me a good funeral. You get to see all your distant kin, hear old stories, and sometimes take in an awesome sermon. At my wife's grandmother's funeral a few years back, I got to hear two back-to-back. Both preachers were very old, and one followed the other. Neither took more than ten minutes. The first one started slow and mild and built to a thundering crescendo. I felt sorry for the second guy up, because I thought the first fellow would be impossible to top. I was wrong. The second old man gave the best funeral sermon I have ever heard or expect to hear. By the end, he was rising onto his toes and shouting about Jesus flyin' through the sky to collect the righteous and all the dead bustin' up through the cold earth and the pavement and through tree roots and risin' to the sky, flyin' with Jesus. I was so moved I thought some inappropriate laughter, not of disrespect but of emotion too strong to contain, might burst out. Not that anyone would have noticed in the hubbub. I whispered to my sister-in-law "This is awesome!" and she gave me a funny look because she knows I'm an atheist and she is pretty skeptical herself. Of course I didn't believe a word; I was simply moved by the rhetorical power and charisma of the two old preachers.

 

The only other time I have been is when my parents asked me because they wanted their congregation to meet the whole family. That was dullsville, unfortunately. My parents like their religion real vanilla, I'm afraid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm just glad this all came to a head now, when I am an atheist, rather than when I was a fundy. Now when I have a medical issue, I see a doctor, I don't sit around praying.

Ugh. I'm saddened to hear this issue continues to plague you and that it interfered with your experiment.

 

Three cheers for our physicians and surgeons, who do more than God ever did! Yay! Get well, Pudd!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm just glad this all came to a head now, when I am an atheist, rather than when I was a fundy. Now when I have a medical issue, I see a doctor, I don't sit around praying.

Ugh. I'm saddened to hear this issue continues to plague you and that it interfered with your experiment.

 

Three cheers for our physicians and surgeons, who do more than God ever did! Yay! Get well, Pudd!

 

Tell me about it! And Don't forget the drug companies! Yeah, I know, I know, they make a shitload of money, but that doesn't really bother me- they've got to have some incentive to sink millions of dollars into research, hey :) Epilim, of all the drugs, is my wonder drug! That shit makes me *almost* normal!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.