Denyoz Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I watched her again. I'm ashamed. I know I shouldn't have. And it's not the first time. I'm such a bad ex-christian. I was feeling depressed, the TV was right there in front of me, it was 8 a.m. I knew she was only a click away. "Just a glimpse" I thought, "I won't listen, really." *Click* First thing she said: "If you only knew how much God loves you, you wouldn't be so depressed. You can try loving God all you want, but until you get some kind of revelation of how much HE loves YOU, you will have no power." Shit, I watched the whole progam! I feel so bad. I remembered how happy I was when I believed that God loved me. I started thinking: "All I have to do now is replace the word God with the word humans, and I will be happy again." But no, it doesn't work. It's not enough. Humans die, they lie, they pretend, their love is puny. I want big, eternal, all-powerful love. But it doesn't exist! Or does it? Ahhh! I'm sorry, please forgive me for having these thoughts. I'm so weak. I even thought of leaving this website and joining a christian one. Oh gawd, I'm slipping away. I have to stay strong. Shum-bala -wala-woola-bong-bong 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 It is nice when you're going through troubles to think some deity loves you and that all things work together for the good of those who love the lord. For me I just know that's not true and I'd have miles to go to get back to a place where I accepted any type of theistic god and even further to accept the christian god. As for watching Joyce Meyer, I arrived at this place because I tested my christian faith to see if it was true, at the same time I still test my atheism to see if its true. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted June 19, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 Deny, I am soooo sorry that I am in hysterics right now. I cant stop laughing...your posts remind me so much of 'totalwreck''s and his do the same thing to me. He knows that. It's just the way you guys write, I guess............ OK - OK........I'm catching my breathe..... So, Joyce was preaching about if we only had a revelation of how much HE loves US? She obviously forgot to include all the fucking story!! I'm gonna just give you it straight from the beginning of the story in the first book of our 'Holy Book'. God creates everything, I mean EVERYTHING, with his huge intelligence and fucks up his own plan with man, blames the man and curses him to the ground. Said our lives would be full of misery. Then he wipes out all his creation with a flood, tryin' so hard to fix his fucked up plan.... He even said himself that ,''It repenteth' me that I made man''!! Sweet jeeeeuuuusssss - he made us?? Then to make matters worse, he had to take his only begotten son and turn him into a human sacrifice.. to be beaten to a pulp by man and then hung on a cross to suffocate, and told us, that if we just believed in him, we could now be really saved from all our fucking faults, when he's the one who created us in the first place.!!!!! Well this still isn't working, (he knew that!! ) so he is going to come back and create a 'blood bath' up to your knees, put his devil away for good and set up a whole new earth for us. Indeed.....full of wonderful love for us..... jesssuuuusssss.....don't get me dirty today!!! Go read BO's post on 'man-eating snakes'...why did god make man eating snakes??? http://www.ex-christ...-south-florida/ Please forgive the crass language in this post.....normally.....I am an angel most of the time.... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 UUUUuugghhhh!!! She is the worst!! Next time you think of watching her, just think about how immoral she is - preaching the "prosperity gospel" is a great way to get yourself rich from the donations of other people. She turns my stomach. If you need to watch TV preacher, watch Joel Osteen. Ha, ha. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I know what you mean, hoping for love from "god" the universe..I miss that feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself & this world. Yet Margee is totally right. Bible god is no god worth anyone's worship or adoration. A lovely quote from the old testament, "without the shedding of blood there is NO remission of sins..." Seriously, BLOOD sacrifice??? required by a "loving" god?? Couldn't there be other ways around the supposed "sin" problem? It does take time to clear your mind from the traps of bible religion. I don't know if this will help but I believe in something bigger than this world...maybe I'm a Deist, I don't know, but I kinda hope there's something more than this. Maybe "love" is out there.... Call me weak but I can't accept that this is it & there is nothing more. I think people & the spirit of man, though there is much evil, there is a LOT of good in humankind. Bible religion is too damaging & hurts so many people, even Joyce Meyer, still believes in "hell". So for all of the good stuff, there is too much bad in bible religion. I hope you can find some hope & peace. It took me about 3 years to feel better...took even longer to have some hope & confidence. Please give yourself time to heal.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Rule number 1: don't confuse the god televangelists talk about with bible god. They are NOT the same. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 19, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 Humans die, they lie, they pretend, their love is puny. I want big, eternal, all-powerful love. But it doesn't exist! Gods die, they lie, they pretend, their love is puny. Human love exists. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam5 Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Hi, no harm in watching christian tv as entertainment. Its when you believe what they preach, then you're in trouble. I know what you mean about backsliding into belief. Stay strong bud. The buybull is not for us here, and thats all there is to it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted June 19, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 The desire for powerful, magical gods is common. The evidence that any exist is zero, zip, nada. Of course that doesn't stop people...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GardenerGal Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I completely understand, Den. You are not weak. In the end, this is a lonely journey... you gotta find your own way, and JM and this site can help you or deter you --- your choice. Whether people think JM is bad or not, I have a lot of gratitude for her. She was free therapy for me after leaving an alcoholic home, and helped me clear my mind. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raoul Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Deny, I am soooo sorry that I am in hysterics right now. I cant stop laughing...your posts remind me so much of 'totalwreck''s and his do the same thing to me. He knows that. It's just the way you guys write, I guess............ OK - OK........I'm catching my breathe..... So, Joyce was preaching about if we only had a revelation of how much HE loves US? She obviously forgot to include all the fucking story!! I'm gonna just give you it straight from the beginning of the story in the first book of our 'Holy Book'. God creates everything, fucks up his own plan, blames man and curses him to the ground. Said his life would be full of misery. Then he wipes out all his creation with a flood, tryin' so hard to fix his fucked up plan.... He even said himself that ,''It repentith me that I made man''!! Sweet jeeeeuuuusssss - he made us?? Then to make matters worse, he had to take his only begotten son and turn him into a human sacrifice, that if we just believed in him, we could now be really saved from all our fucking faults, when he's the one who created us in the first place.!!!!! Well this still isn't working, (he knew that!! ) so he is going to come back and create a 'blood bath' up to your knees, put his devil away for good and set up a whole new earth for us. Indeed.....full of wonderful love for us..... jesssuuuusssss.....don't get me dirty today!!! Go read BO's post on 'man-eating snakes'...why did god make man eating snakes??? http://www.ex-christ...-south-florida/ Please forgive the crass language in this post.....normally.....I am an angel most of the time.... Nothing to forgive - your thoughts here mirror my own and numerous others. Don't ever apologize for speaking what's on your heart because I spent years around 'church' people who stifled any kind of truth regarding what was on our minds. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Rule number 1: don't confuse the god televangelists talk about with bible god. They are NOT the same. I know.....somehow I find the prosperity gospel televangelists far worse..... Watch 30 minutes of Mike Murdock and tell me you don't want to fight him for all the harm he's doing to old people in poverty just looking for any type of hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 I still test my atheism to see if its true. I like that. Deny, I am soooo sorry that I am in hysterics right now. I cant stop laughing... Glad to see I made you laugh. Ok Margee, on a more serious note, do you think Love is the essence of Life? (forget the buy-bull) If you need to watch TV preacher, watch Joel Osteen. Ha, ha. Never heard of him. I don't know if this will help but I believe in something bigger than this world...maybe I'm a Deist, I don't know, but I kinda hope there's something more than this. Maybe "love" is out there.... The God I believed in was Love, not the bible god most christians refer too. It was Christianity, but not the fundamentalist version. God was Love. I wonder why believing in God and that he is Love made me happier than I am now, if it's a lie. Can happiness be found in lies? Rule number 1: don't confuse the god televangelists talk about with bible god. They are NOT the same. True. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 19, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 Love can still be your god, Deny. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelHappy Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I wonder why believing in God and that he is Love made me happier than I am now, if it's a lie. Can happiness be found in lies? "Consolation from imaginary things is not an imaginary consolation" -- - Roger Scruton Some people might disagree with me, but if the god of love makes you happy then love him. Just remember to love others and not force them to also follow your god. This life is too short to be unhappy so if the love a deity makes you happy who cares if its real or not? Just don't do it for stupid reasons like the fake hell or fear, do it because it really makes you happy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 No Joel Osteen in Canada? He's like the kinder, gentler evangelical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalWreck Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 It's funny because when I was a Christian, I never liked Joyce Meyer - I always thought she was like the mean old lady school teacher that we've all had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I don't know if this will help but I believe in something bigger than this world...maybe I'm a Deist, I don't know, but I kinda hope there's something more than this. Maybe "love" is out there.... The God I believed in was Love, not the bible god most christians refer too. It was Christianity, but not the fundamentalist version. God was Love. I wonder why believing in God and that he is Love made me happier than I am now, if it's a lie. Can happiness be found in lies? Bible religion is a lie...& the belief that "God is love" did give me some comfort too Deny. Maybe if there is a "god" the "god is love" part is true, but all of the other bullshit is made up lies to control people.? I don't know if hoping for more than this is a lie, but HOPE can help get us through this crazy ass life. For me, it's what gets me through the day...as long as I'm not hurting others. Hell, I still talk to folks who I loved who died...not that they even hear me, but it helps me to think that just maybe they are still there, out there somewhere. It might be a fantasy, but it helps that I still care about them & haven't forgotten them....& maybe they haven't forgotten about me? Also the good people in your life can be helpful. Try to enjoy & cherish them. I know you can't ignore the bad in life Deny, but human love can really help to heal broken hearts. But as some others have mentioned it IS a lonely journey because ultimately we have to make our own way.... but as the Beatles say "I get by with a little help from my friends..." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 I wonder why believing in God and that he is Love made me happier than I am now, if it's a lie. Can happiness be found in lies? "Consolation from imaginary things is not an imaginary consolation" -- - Roger Scruton Some people might disagree with me, but if the god of love makes you happy then love him. Just remember to love others and not force them to also follow your god. This life is too short to be unhappy so if the love a deity makes you happy who cares if its real or not? Just don't do it for stupid reasons like the fake hell or fear, do it because it really makes you happy. I would need some kind of evidence, testimonies, support group (church?), if this was to become my belief. I have to be convinced that this is the truth. Many people who had near-death-experience come back saying that they felt the presence of pure love, that love is the essence of existence, that the purpose of life is love. Sounds like it's the answer to all the big questions. The problem is, most people equal "divine love" with Christianity. Is love divine or is it ordinary? Is it powerful or powerless? Is it worth looking into? Can anyone testify? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 The God I believed in was Love, not the bible god most christians refer too. It was Christianity, but not the fundamentalist version. God was Love. I wonder why believing in God and that he is Love made me happier than I am now, if it's a lie. Can happiness be found in lies? Bible religion is a lie...& the belief that "God is love" did give me some comfort too Deny. Maybe if there is a "god" the "god is love" part is true, but all of the other bullshit is made up lies to control people? I don't know if hoping for more than this is a lie, but HOPE can help get us through this crazy ass life. For me, it's what gets me through the day... NeverAgain, are you saying that the belief that "god is love" is what motivates you to live? This is the kind of testimony I am looking for. Yet you don't sound too sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted June 19, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 Deny, I really did take your post very seriously....it's just the way you write sometimes....it's cracks me up and I picture you all in a 'fluff' again! It's probably because I am exactely the same way!! You asked me if I think 'love' is the essence of Life? 'Love' is a 2 sided coin with a hundred things (emotions) in between. Everything is 2 sided. There is kind and cruel, sweet-bitter, happy-sad, and on and on with a million emotions in between all this. We are all 2 sided beings. What I am trying to teach myself is that when I live in 'fantasy land' and ONLY want the positive things, I am avoiding looking at the real polarity that exists within the framework of both sides. To continue to accept the 'light' and 'dark' side of everything and everybody. I feel that balance is the key. To realize that we are all good and we can all be a bit selfish. There is a bit of good in everyone of us, but there's also a bit of bad... in everyone!! (whether they will admit to that or not!) We all have EVERY human trait. If we kept our eyes on 'balance', fully accepting that the whole human race is 'flawed by the polarity' of light and dark....... we could develope more love for people and ourselves. This certainly dosen't give anyone an excuse for being abusive. We need to learn how to balance our feelings and emotions and live on this earth in 'community'. This isn't easy work, but to not accept the law of opposites as a hard, cold fact - we will be destined to kill each other off. 'Balance' is my god...I pray to that everyday.............. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 Love can still be your god, Deny. Is it yours, TrueFreedom? Or is this too much of a personal question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 19, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 Love can still be your god, Deny. Is it yours, TrueFreedom? Or is this too much of a personal question? Though I wouldn't consider it a god, it's what gets me through and what I believe is the most essential human desire (call it a need if you prefer). I'm happier when I act in loving ways towards others. It's something that you can give away and lose nothing, often receiving more back in return. I find much to praise about the different forms of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 'Balance' is my god...I pray to that everyday.............. Thank you Margee for your reply. BTW, I was not offended by you laughing at my OP, I was thrilled. I did end it on a humorous note, because it is funny. Balance, eh? I agree with you, but then why do you (me, us) strive to be more loving than hating? We love love more than we love hate, so it's not really balanced. Example: It's my daughter's birthday. I give her a cake and a gift, but only this year. Next year I give her nothing. I'm balanced. I love, I hate, I'm perfect. Doesn't make sense right? Why do we strive to be good? This force, this drive, is it divine or just a biased human weakess? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted June 19, 2012 Moderator Share Posted June 19, 2012 Why do we strive to be good? This force, this drive, is it divine or just a biased human weakess? How do you know that love is good and hate is bad? How do you know that love and hate are opposites? Some would say that indifference, not hate, is love's opposite. Love fulfills a common desire. Most seek the fulfillment of desire, others seek the elimination of it (some Buddhists, for example). If I was unable to love or be loved, I would seek the elimination of desire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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