antix Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 My mom's younger brother (by 19 yrs) and his wife came up (700 miles away) and stayed with us for 2 days. they are these wacko happy type I love Jesus fundys. If something happens to my mom, I am going to be blunt and tell them they need to get a hotel room and cannot stay at the house. My aunt was so annoying and would not shut up about the lord (among many other annoying qualities). Is this being rude?
Paine Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Screw that noise. Tell her you have bed bugs. ***family*** fuck 'em.
antix Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I agree with Paine. the last thing anyone should do when showing up to a family's home for a funeral is be happy and giggly and say I love jesus, isn'y jesus great etc ad nauseum.
openpalm45 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Just tell them you are grieving and you need your space during that time. 1
Guest wester Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 My mum came to visit me when I was living in Korea, and both times I lost girlfriends I was dating when they saw what a Christian whack job my mum is.....24/7 all jesus all the time...."pray fa ya"...."blessings"...and "Hallelujah"....god this and god that....yada yada This is when I started to understand that something was different or maybe wrong. It's almost normal in my redneck part of the country and was sort of normal for my family growing up, but looks like a psychotic break with reality coming from different world views. I think there is an element of obsessive compulsive or addictive behavior with this kind of mindset.... These are space, boundary, courtesy and respect issues for sure. Imagine if I came to your house and started going on and on nonstop about vegetarianism or maybe communism or radical environmentalism.....you'd smack me upside the head and toss me out the window, I'm sure.
antix Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 My mum came to visit me when I was living in Korea, and both times I lost girlfriends I was dating when they saw what a Christian whack job my mum is.....24/7 all jesus all the time...."pray fa ya"...."blessings"...and "Hallelujah"....god this and god that....yada yada This is when I started to understand that something was different or maybe wrong. It's almost normal in my redneck part of the country and was sort of normal for my family growing up, but looks like a psychotic break with reality coming from different world views. I think there is an element of obsessive compulsive or addictive behavior with this kind of mindset.... These are space, boundary, courtesy and respect issues for sure. Imagine if I came to your house and started going on and on nonstop about vegetarianism or maybe communism or radical environmentalism.....you'd smack me upside the head and toss me out the window, I'm sure. that is the issue: respect other peoples views.
Kaiser01 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 You will find that family that is of another religion then your own, you will become more and more distant from them. hell im such an introvert i dont even hardly know my family.
antix Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 You will find that family that is of another religion then your own, you will become more and more distant from them. hell im such an introvert i dont even hardly know my family. The religion they say they are is christian, but their real religion is the almighty dollar and failure to mature, thinking everything is a good time and they never STFU
Akheia Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 My condolences about your dad, Anti. I can't even imagine how it would have felt to have people like that around me when my mom had just died. I can't even grasp how horrible they are for not showing the least amount of respect toward you. It's your house. You have the right to demand courtesy of your guests. If they are behaving in a way that brings you disquiet, there's no rule against telling them to shut up or GTFO. One would also gently suggest that next time you propose hosting happy "I love Boyfriend Jesus" fundies, make them get a hotel room They won't be any less grating even without your grieving now that your eyes have begun to open to the truth.
hereticzero Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 My mom's younger brother (by 19 yrs) and his wife came up (700 miles away) and stayed with us for 2 days. they are these wacko happy type I love Jesus fundys. If something happens to my mom, I am going to be blunt and tell them they need to get a hotel room and cannot stay at the house. My aunt was so annoying and would not shut up about the lord (among many other annoying qualities). Is this being rude? Funerals are for the living to express their grief. Your feelings concerning your parents dictate how others will react at a funeral--mainly, state what kind of funeral it will be--secular or religious--and let who wants to come do so on the grounds they know what to expect for a funeral. It's not rude to protect your feelings at a time like this. If you don't want someone at the funeral for your mother (if anything should happen to her), ask them to leave.
Carolorado Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Seems we all have crazy relatives. Those of us who have been around a while learned to set limits, and frankly I would tell them that you are not interested in their beliefs, because you have different ones. This is your mother and that trumps the brother. I have ran across this with very political--but not my political beliefs--relatives. you have to learn the to say that, hey you care about them, but because of your personal difficulties, you cannot be stressed by different opinions. Then stick to your principles. All else fails, learn apathy. Never give them any information about yourself, your life or anything else. Believe me, they will find any tidbit to use against you. If you have to see them, only speak in non answers such as 'really' or 'bless your heart' or 'I have a really horrible headache, and really can't chat today.' Some people will not take no for an answer and you just have to be strong. Remember, they need you more to confirm their fears than you need them to confirm you sanity. And we are all here to assure you that YOU are the sane one.
antix Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Thanks, hopefull it will not be for a long time, but I will tell them they cannot stay at the house. I honestly think my aunt has a mental illness: if you mention jesus in every tenth sentance, there is a delusional issue. She was posting stupid shit on facebook today. She also has had every popular disease on the planet, candida, fibromyalgia and she recently thought she had lupus. 1
Akheia Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Oh, she sounds delightful. I think you're doing the right thing, FWIW, in telling them to find other accommodations. They have no idea how to function as houseguests. There's no reason you should be forced to take a dog that isn't housebroken into your home even temporarily. PS: Does she think she has that Morgellon's shit too? INQUIRING MINDS
antix Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Oh, she sounds delightful. I think you're doing the right thing, FWIW, in telling them to find other accommodations. They have no idea how to function as houseguests. There's no reason you should be forced to take a dog that isn't housebroken into your home even temporarily. PS: Does she think she has that Morgellon's shit too? INQUIRING MINDS probably not, unless it is in the media frequently, then she thinks she has it. Also, she mentioned something how her and my uncle (at 65 and really good shape from the last 35 yrs of no smokes, very very very little alcohol) are paying 300 a month for long term care insurance. I did not think of it at the time, but I should of asked if teh guy who sells it to her goes to the same church they do.
SilverLining Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 If they become too much to near you can tell them to, 'get lost' in a polite way. That way you won't look like a jerk and they can't get mad. I agree with OpenPalm, say this is a really tough time for you and that you need space. Maybe, even throw in something about needing to be alone with the Lord
notmohammad Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 I'm older now. And, I've learned many things along the way. I used to be tolerant of other peoples BS. No longer. Sure, I'll tolerate a little. But, when it's time to say something, it's time. And it comes out forceful and with meaning. In other words, I'd clearly and accurately articulate the "rules of the house". No BS, no pussyfooting around. Why in the world would I have to tolerate behavior that I detest in my house?
antix Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 I'm older now. And, I've learned many things along the way. I used to be tolerant of other peoples BS. No longer. Sure, I'll tolerate a little. But, when it's time to say something, it's time. And it comes out forceful and with meaning. In other words, I'd clearly and accurately articulate the "rules of the house". No BS, no pussyfooting around. Why in the world would I have to tolerate behavior that I detest in my house? I agree with that 100 percent. When the time comes, hopefull not for another 10 yrs, I will just say you will have to get a hotel.
Vigile Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 My mom's younger brother (by 19 yrs) and his wife came up (700 miles away) and stayed with us for 2 days. they are these wacko happy type I love Jesus fundys. If something happens to my mom, I am going to be blunt and tell them they need to get a hotel room and cannot stay at the house. My aunt was so annoying and would not shut up about the lord (among many other annoying qualities). Is this being rude? When my brother, and his then fiance, visited us for a week, she took down our family pictures, including wedding picture, from the mantel in the living room where they were staying and put up some cheesy bible verse decoration. I about had an aneurism, but since I rarely get to see my brother and he's such a soft-spoken, shy guy who probably couldn't speak up and tell her his opinion on the matter, I just bit my lip and put our pictures back up and set her decoration on top of her suit case.
Akheia Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Vigile, that was a breathtakingly rude thing for her to do. I hope she took your hint about her redecoration attempt.
Vigile Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Vigile, that was a breathtakingly rude thing for her to do. I hope she took your hint about her redecoration attempt. I doubt it. She's a nincompoop. I love my brother though and he's her victim, so I do my best to keep the peace for his sake.
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