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Christian Lines That Make You Rage!


Cryptic
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Every once and a while I'll talk to my Christian wife about religion. I'm the type that doesn't care what others believe as long as they don't force it down my throat. But there is one button that she presses that always makes me explode with rage inside and it comes in a few different flavors:

 

You can't quote scripture against me because you don't believe in it to begin with,

 

or when asked if nothing happens that doesn't go according to God's will/plan:

 

God knows the future but he leaves the choice up to you when the time comes. All paths are known to God but we live in the present so you can choose to go down the right path, or turn away from it.

 

 

What lines make you rage the most when talking with Christians?

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Hmmm, Christian lines that make me rage... ALL OF THEM.

 

God is testing you, God has a plan, God is good all the time, yada yada.

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Hmmm, Christian lines that make me rage... ALL OF THEM.

 

God is testing you, God has a plan, God is good all the time, yada yada.

Agreed, they all come with the same rage # increase.

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"Everything happens for a reason."

 

This doesn't make me feel better at all.

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"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

 

Very clever.

 

I tend to ask guys if they have a problem with girls who are lesbian and I draw crickets. It's amusing how hypocritical male religious nuts are.

 

Also, any single Christian who feels like they have the right interpretation of scripture, and everyone else is wrong, also annoys the crap out of me.

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"well we don't think that's biblical"

 

What the hell do you know? You don't even read your bible.

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After I failed my senior year of pharm school, leaving me in near 6 figure debt with no way to pay for it and no job prospects :

 

"The Lord must have bigger and better plans for you".

 

 

FUUUUUUUCCCCKKK YYOOOUUUU

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"Does the clay talk back to the potter?"

 

It's even worse that it's an actual verse.

 

Does the North Korean peasant talk back to his maker Kim Jun Un?

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The one that pisses me off is "We feel god wants us to " or "the lord is leading us to"

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A friend of mine admitted she has beliefs that she knows aren't logical or don't make any sense but that she keeps them anyway. Recently I came round to asking her why she hangs onto them. Her answer?

 

"Lack of evidence for something isn't evidence for it not being true."

 

A few months ago I'd have had to bite my tongue to not flip out at that kind of reasoning, but I've kind of come to a point where I've started thinking that if they want to be deluded they can have their fun.

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A friend of mine admitted she has beliefs that she knows aren't logical or don't make any sense but that she keeps them anyway. Recently I came round to asking her why she hangs onto them. Her answer?

 

"Lack of evidence for something isn't evidence for it not being true."

 

A few months ago I'd have had to bite my tongue to not flip out at that kind of reasoning, but I've kind of come to a point where I've started thinking that if they want to be deluded they can have their fun.

 

There's no evidence to support it but it's true anyway... Yep... My brain hurts!

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"I'll pray for you."

 

Especially when it's after a debate, because then it's christard-speak for "fuck you." But they're too good to just say "fuck you", they have to pretend they're better.

 

Even when it's quasi-well meaning, and it's because I've related some personal trouble to them, it's "I have no real advice, and no wish to actually help anyway, so I'll let my god handle it, since he's done such a bang-up job already." Less rage, more annoyance at fucking laziness.

 

Also, the implication that they have the hotline to Divinity, and I don't, just plain makes me want to smack them.

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All of the ones listed drive me nuts.

 

And the fools--I have one relative this fits perfectly--- that say support Israel at all costs. The 'We gotta keep the Jews alive so Jesus can come back and convert 'em or kill the Jews, 2/3rds of them." Those types aren't too happy when you mention that sounds like a sociopath, and a mass murderer of Jews.

 

They DO tend to get ticked a bit when you point out the obvious.

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"You need to unharden your heart"

 

"BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth"

 

"(Insert 'bad' thing) is an abomination unto God"

 

"God is the same yesterday, today and forever"

 

"Do you know where you're going when you die?"

 

"The Holy Spirit just came to me and told me to..."

 

"God is good."

 

Anything about this being the end of days

 

"America is a Christian nation"

 

"Jesus came to bring a sword, not peace"

 

 

 

 

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When I started reading this thread, I couldn't think of one particular line that annoyed me. After reading all of yours, I feel quite cranky!

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Guest Valk0010

"If you don't believe in god, the devil will take everything from you."

 

"Faith is evidence of things unseen."

 

"Have faith, things will make sense."

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"When a child wants his own way, even though it may be dangerous to him, a parent must do what's best to protect their child. God does this for His children."

 

(recent conversation with a friend. thanks, I'm that wayward child!)

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Anything said to or about a disabled person being "so brave" or "an inspiration" or how "god has a plan" and blah-de-blah.

 

Yes, because it take so much COURAGE to... what? Lead a mostly-normal life? And it's so "inspiring" because... oh, look, the bipedal apes use technology to adapt to and get around disabilities and injuries, how fucking INSPIRING!

 

And if God "has a plan" for me? IT'S A SHIT PLAN! I could have done better, and I have NO ATTENTION SPAN!

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Anything said to or about a disabled person being "so brave" or "an inspiration" or how "god has a plan" and blah-de-blah.

 

Yes, because it take so much COURAGE to... what? Lead a mostly-normal life? And it's so "inspiring" because... oh, look, the bipedal apes use technology to adapt to and get around disabilities and injuries, how fucking INSPIRING!

 

And if God "has a plan" for me? IT'S A SHIT PLAN! I could have done better, and I have NO ATTENTION SPAN!

 

Dont even get me started on stem cells, Christians and disabled people.

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Anything said to or about a disabled person being "so brave" or "an inspiration" or how "god has a plan" and blah-de-blah.

 

Yes, because it take so much COURAGE to... what? Lead a mostly-normal life? And it's so "inspiring" because... oh, look, the bipedal apes use technology to adapt to and get around disabilities and injuries, how fucking INSPIRING!

 

And if God "has a plan" for me? IT'S A SHIT PLAN! I could have done better, and I have NO ATTENTION SPAN!

 

Dont even get me started on stem cells, Christians and disabled people.

I've got a friend with spina bifida who was told he won't ever walk because his faith isn't strong enough.

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Anything said to or about a disabled person being "so brave" or "an inspiration" or how "god has a plan" and blah-de-blah.

 

Yes, because it take so much COURAGE to... what? Lead a mostly-normal life? And it's so "inspiring" because... oh, look, the bipedal apes use technology to adapt to and get around disabilities and injuries, how fucking INSPIRING!

 

And if God "has a plan" for me? IT'S A SHIT PLAN! I could have done better, and I have NO ATTENTION SPAN!

 

Dont even get me started on stem cells, Christians and disabled people.

I've got a friend with spina bifida who was told he won't ever walk because his faith isn't strong enough.

 

Those morons think weapons that kill millions are a God given right but medicine that could help that poor man is evil and of the devil.

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Anything said to or about a disabled person being "so brave" or "an inspiration" or how "god has a plan" and blah-de-blah.

 

Yes, because it take so much COURAGE to... what? Lead a mostly-normal life? And it's so "inspiring" because... oh, look, the bipedal apes use technology to adapt to and get around disabilities and injuries, how fucking INSPIRING!

 

And if God "has a plan" for me? IT'S A SHIT PLAN! I could have done better, and I have NO ATTENTION SPAN!

 

Dont even get me started on stem cells, Christians and disabled people.

I've got a friend with spina bifida who was told he won't ever walk because his faith isn't strong enough.

 

That should be criminal. It's torture.

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