Kaiser01 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 2 years ago when my prayers wouldn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 and even married a fundamentalist preacher/youth minister midway through college. All kinds of shit happened to make me doubt that God was real or that the Bible was true--my husband was a liar and manipulator but everybody said he had the Spirit all in him Curious if your ex was a "true believer" behind closed doors? Since everyone thought he was such a great, spirit-filled Christian and all... I ask because recently Ihad lunch with an active church member, and she talked about God using me for this and that. I told her I no longer believed, which is why I haven't been in church for the past two months or so. Later on, she told me "there is a disconnect between nonbeliever and believers, because the Holy Spirit isn't present in in the nonbeliever's body." Had I not told her, she would have thought the Holy Spirit was there and alive. It angers me to be told I can no longer have "real" relationships without God. One reason I suspect he's a diagnosable narcissist is that he tended to genuinely believe his own lies after a while. The more someone tried to nail him on an untruth he'd told, the harder he insisted it was true--and I really think he thought it was. Reality blurred a lot for him. And he did the most degrading, undignified things even away from church; one incident that springs to mind is he dragged me to that fucktarded movie "Forrest Gump." I thought it was just the most awful, manipulative glurge-spewing piece of dreck (I was only a few months away from my big "don't have to go anymore" revelation, if that dates me at all), but afterward he literally had this hysterical crying breakdown in the car in the movie theater's parking lot. He claimed to have had a religious awakening because of the movie and amid more tears than I have ever before or since witnessed a grown man shedding proceeded to tell me at length just how amazingly close to God he now felt. That wasn't the only time he got the puppy-dog-eyed Christian martyr attitude (while still a believer myself I once told him rather disgustedly to get off the cross). So I strongly suspect he thought he was a True Believers. I just don't think his actions matched his words very well, though he himself thought and carried himself as if they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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