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starlyte777

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my son is jjbue and daughter is 2honest.......have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months.......need help with the whole family thing..........and should I even be here.......I vasilate from believing and not believing........took a tumble recently.....cried out for Jesus.........does that mean I still believe? Or does it mean I'm so confused I only cry out for a higher being when I'm in trouble.....does that make me a hyprocrite? I hate hyprocites.....so hope I'm not one.

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Welcome Mom! You will find a lot of friendly ex-christians here. I'm proud of you for having the courage to explore this journey with us :kiss:

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Welcome! We'll try to go easy on you since you're a legacy member. tongue.png

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Guest Valk0010

If its any consolation, old habits die hard. I found myself recently saying(as in a week ago), "God bless you" recently to myself after seeing a person in a wheelchair. Does that mean I still believe no? I didn't reconvert, and it seemed to come out of a place of habit more then actual meaning.

 

Btw for what its worth, I deconverted November 2009.

 

There are many days, i wish immensely there is a god. Wishing and crying out and hoping, during a tough time, to me seems normal. While deconverting or doubting, it should be expected.

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my son is jjbue and daughter is 2honest.......have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months.......need help with the whole family thing..........and should I even be here.......I vasilate from believing and not believing........took a tumble recently.....cried out for Jesus.........does that mean I still believe? Or does it mean I'm so confused I only cry out for a higher being when I'm in trouble.....does that make me a hyprocrite? I hate hyprocites.....so hope I'm not one.

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my son is jjbue and daughter is 2honest.......have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months.......need help with the whole family thing..........and should I even be here.......I vasilate from believing and not believing........took a tumble recently.....cried out for Jesus.........does that mean I still believe? Or does it mean I'm so confused I only cry out for a higher being when I'm in trouble.....does that make me a hyprocrite? I hate hyprocites.....so hope I'm not one.

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my son is jjbue and daughter is 2honest.......have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months.......need help with the whole family thing..........and should I even be here.......I vasilate from believing and not believing........took a tumble recently.....cried out for Jesus.........does that mean I still believe? Or does it mean I'm so confused I only cry out for a higher being when I'm in trouble.....does that make me a hyprocrite? I hate hyprocites.....so hope I'm not one.

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she is figuring out how to use the forum :P

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i have no idea what to do know.......saw your post, son......ty.......just don't know how to move on from here!!

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i have no idea what to do know.......saw your post, son......ty.......just don't know how to move on from here!!

 

You have no idea how to use the forum? Or you have no idea where to go in your journey?

 

If it's the forum, you'll figure it out :)

 

If it's where to go in your journey, take your time. You might read through some of the ex christian testimonies here

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Guest Valk0010

i have no idea what to do know.......saw your post, son......ty.......just don't know how to move on from here!!

If you want to respond to someone's post, click quote, on that particular post, and most of the time, if the site is working properly you can respond like I am doing to you right now.

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Awesome family!

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Awesome family!

 

Thanks florduh. Our journey would have been much more difficult without this community.

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i have no idea what to do know.......saw your post, son......ty.......just don't know how to move on from here!!

ok

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Awesome family!

 

hi florduh.......thanks for responding.......yes.......we have an awesome family.........of course.......I'm the most awesome......but then there is my son and daughter who rank just below me ........haha......:)

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tell me your story

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Awesome family!

 

hi florduh.......thanks for responding.......yes.......we have an awesome family.........of course.......I'm the most awesome......but then there is my son and daughter who rank just below me ........haha......smile.png

 

Yah! You figured out how to quote and post jesus.gif

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i guess i don't get it J........need kibitzing on how to occupy this forum.......i'm not getting it..........but, thanks........will try again.....luv ya son! xx

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starlyte...Welcome to Ex-c!! yellow.gif I am so glad you joined us!! I love and respect 2honest and blueep very much!

 

How I remember being at the stage you are in now. It is cognitive dissonance at it's height!! There is nothing worse than having 2 conflicting thoughts driving you crazy!! Wendycrazy.gif I hope you keep reading and posting your questions. We we're once all in the same spot as you. I was a huge believer in jesus for many years! Christianity can be soooo embedded in one's brain. I have been on Ex-c for 18 months and I still can't take down a picture in my living room of jesus!! Wendytwitch.gifThat's how strong the hold can be. To believe christianity all your life and wake up one day and realize that it may not be true ....can be VERY scary.

 

You stay with us, and read the responces and see if some of it dosen't make some sense to you. yYou can come to your own conclusions. We won't push you at all. I''m really glad you are here and I look forward to hearing more from you!!

Here's a letter I wrote to god when I first came here... see if you can relate.......

 

http://www.ex-christ...ase-forgive-me/

 

Sincerely, Margee

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Margee, I love you too and I frequently think that you and Starlyte have a lot in common. You might be the person she can relate to most on this forum. No pressure. ha ha.

 

Your journey and your loving words to all on this forum give me great hope that Starlyte will make it through this tricky journey :)

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Welcome. Good luck in your journey out of bondage.

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my son is jjbue and daughter is 2honest.......have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months.......need help with the whole family thing..........and should I even be here.......I vasilate from believing and not believing........took a tumble recently.....cried out for Jesus.........does that mean I still believe? Or does it mean I'm so confused I only cry out for a higher being when I'm in trouble.....does that make me a hyprocrite? I hate hyprocites.....so hope I'm not one.

 

Old habits die hard. And what you learned as a kid never really goes away IMO- regardless of what you've come to believe as an adult.

 

I've been godless for about 22 years, with hardly a single doubt along the way. I've blasphemed every incarnation of 'god' that I've come across- mostly because I think it's funny. I've argued with christians more times that I can recall and even helped a few of them to kick their jesus-habit.

 

And yet just a few months ago when my wife was in pain from an unknown (at the time) illness, I actually prayed to Jesus that he'd make her feel better- the first time I'd prayed in over two decades. I knew damn well that I didn't mean it, and that I was really just appealing to my own subconscious if anything. But I learned that response to fear and worry when I was a little kid, and it's still there deep within my massive brain- probably always will be.

 

 

Besides- you've got nothing to prove here. You can believe whatever the hell you want- and it's not like there's some athiest-god who's going to punish you if you don't live up to Atheist Standards™. So don't be so hard on yourself smile.png . Just figure out things the best you can and go on with life.

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my son is jjbue and daughter is 2honest.......have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months.......need help with the whole family thing..........and should I even be here.......I vasilate from believing and not believing........took a tumble recently.....cried out for Jesus.........does that mean I still believe? Or does it mean I'm so confused I only cry out for a higher being when I'm in trouble.....does that make me a hyprocrite? I hate hyprocites.....so hope I'm not one.

 

Hi, starlyte and welcome to ExC and your first steps to freedom.

 

I want to comment on a few things you said. You said you "...have been wrestling with the whole faith vs atheist for months..." I think you should take things one step at a time, at least that is what I did. My first questions had to do solely with whether the Christian religion was true or not. At that stage, I did not concern myself with the question of whether there was a god. After all, there are those in the world who believe in a deity but who totally reject Christianity. The Jews are a good example of this. Not everyone on this forum are atheists, though we all (except for a few Christians who come here to try to re-convert us) have one major thing in common - we discovered, sometimes through terrible emotional hardships, that the Christian religion was false. Some of us are atheists, some agnostic, some have taken to other forms of spirituality.

 

If you're interested in my personal position, I am an atheist with respect to the god of the bible. I do not believe at all that that alleged being exists. However, I am open to proof, if there ever can be any, that some other deity might exist. However, since I have never seen any such proof, I am agnostic with respect to any of them.

 

You say you "...vasilate from believing and not believing..." Believe me, you are not alone. It is extremely common for people who are just beginning to question the Christian religion to go back and forth. In fact, many people come to this forum because they have questions for which they never got satisfactory answers from their ministers or from reading what apologists say. Those people are often on the first part of what may be a long journey of learning and discovery. My best advice in this regard is for you to have an open mind, ask questions and study (yes, even the bible) in a sincere search for the truth, and let the truth speak for itself. After all, the ultimate goal is to learn the truth and then to accept it. I'll warn you, though, for some people the emotional turmoil arises from accepting the truth once they find it. The truth is not necessarily kind and gentle, it is just the truth.

 

You bring up the issue of whether you are a hypocrite because when there is trouble in your life you may cry out for Jesus. That is not being hypocritical at all. Like others have said, that is just conditioning. I spent several years literally fighting the urge to pray when times got tough and many on this forum undergo the similar urges for varying lengths of time. Don't worry about that. It's no big deal. Once you become convinced that the Christian religion is a lie, then the urge to cry out to Jesus will begin to fade away.

 

I hope things work out well for you.

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Hi starlyte777! I'm sure that you are an awesome individual! Welcome to the forum and to another journey of discovery! Some of my story is linked in my signature below (I stole the idea from freeasabird, who also has his ex-timony linked). I hope that we can get to know you and provide encouragement. :)

 

I'll echo prior sentiments to take your time and try not to worry too much about what you believe. These days information comes at us at a pace that can be extremely difficult to process. You don't owe anyone a hurried conclusion about who or what you trust, especially on monumental topics such as unseen forces, ultimate truth and "objective" reality.

 

Peace. B)

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Old habits die hard. ......

 

... I learned that response to fear and worry when I was a little kid, and it's still there deep within my massive brain- probably always will be.

 

Yep! :)

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