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starlyte777

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no. that was GOD who impregnated Mary.......right? who the hell knows..............i'm just sayin............

Except... it was the archangel Michael who was there and said it. God wasn't there. So... can you be sure it wasn't the angel and he just made it up?

 

Even a better idea, perhaps Mary made it up all together. Why not? If she was unfaithful in a society where she would be stoned to death... making up a story that it was God who impregnated her would be very clever. Go bold or go home, as they say. If you wanna lie, lie big.

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Ok.......I know I can't convince my hubby about anything...........I intend to keep searching......altho I think that over the weeks I've been here......have probably heard all the videos I can......so have to go to other sites I guess..........although, I risk my marriage by continuing to search.......unless I do it when he isn't home.......which I have done mostly.......but, when he asks what I "watched on video today", do I lie, or tell the truth........this is not just about wether or not a God exists........it's whether or not my marriage will survive the search for truth. I'm very tired. I cry way too much. I have nightmares that leave me so distraught that trying to appear "NORMAL" is a struggle beyond belief. I don't know what to do from here. Maybe I should stop looking for a while.....let it rest........I want desperately to say PRAY IT GETS BETTER..........but, No GOD, no prayer...........so what does that leave me with? praying to myself? who do i talk to? my subconsciience? my inner child? This really hurts. And i have no one to turn to.........yes I have kids.......my dgtr and SiL.......they support me beyone belief......they are awesome............but is hard to talk about these things......and not knowing where it will lead......maybe my hubby will know I talked to them......and then have an issue with them...........I can't risk that........so I sit in internal silence..........on the outside I pretend all is well.........but, thats a skill I learned early in life.......so not that hard..........the silence, however, get's harder to bare........harder to tolerate...........I WANT TO SCREAM OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......but, I know how to stuff my feelings........and appear that all is okay with the world.....that is what I have to do while I covertly search for the truth.........thank you all so much for all you have sent me.......for your support.....luv you guys....truly xx

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no. that was GOD who impregnated Mary.......right? who the hell knows..............i'm just sayin............

Except... it was the archangel Michael who was there and said it. God wasn't there. So... can you be sure it wasn't the angel and he just made it up?

 

Even a better idea, perhaps Mary made it up all together. Why not? If she was unfaithful in a society where she would be stoned to death... making up a story that it was God who impregnated her would be very clever. Go bold or go home, as they say. If you wanna lie, lie big.

 

No, I can't be sure of anything........or anyone.........or any scenerio.......or any GOD???........or evolution.............or ID............or a flood.......or incest and rape.........or a GOOD GOD.........or a HORRIBLE GOD............or dinosaurs..........or carbon dating........or radiodating....whatever.........or that I am really here right now.................I would rather not be............truthfully............this is so much to bare,........not trying to be over dramatic..........just telling yall how I fell and what;s going on in/with me..............it's not good right now............I want to be held by someone who loves me SOOOOOOOO BADLY...........but, they are all dead.......OOPS................lol

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OR, any ancient divinity worth their salt was virgin born. Jesus couldn't be one-upped.

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Star, I'd give it a rest for a while. Try your best to not think about it. Just be agnostic. Say "I don't know" and leave it at that. Don't let it destroy your life.

 

But also, don't let your hubby piss on your search for truth, or treat you differently just because you're intellectually honest enough to say "there's not a clear cut answer for me right now".

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Mom,

 

You are suffering from Cognitive Dissonance. You have two competing version of reality, and you have an emotional need/motivation to resolve it. This is normal.

 

Here's an article that explains cognitive dissonance and Christianity: http://webspace.webring.com/people/xq/questioner/mhealth6.htm

 

The answer is to continue to develop your critical thinking skills and then at some point to accept what you know to be the truth, regardless of what other people think. If you do this, then you can be at peace within your own mind. That will allow you to deal with relationship issues more effectively.

 

Love ya,

 

Jason

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No, I can't be sure of anything........or anyone.........or any scenerio.......or any GOD???........or evolution.............or ID............or a flood.......or incest and rape.........or a GOOD GOD.........or a HORRIBLE GOD............or dinosaurs..........or carbon dating........or radiodating....whatever.........or that I am really here right now.................I would rather not be............truthfully............this is so much to bare,........not trying to be over dramatic..........just telling yall how I fell and what;s going on in/with me..............it's not good right now............I want to be held by someone who loves me SOOOOOOOO BADLY...........but, they are all dead.......OOPS................lol

I understand your frustration.

 

Can I ask you to not use so many ".........". It makes it really heard to read.

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Star, I'd give it a rest for a while. Try your best to not think about it. Just be agnostic. Say "I don't know" and leave it at that. Don't let it destroy your life.

I second that. There's no need to take a full jump into it all. Just take a breather and let your belief stay at something in between. It will give you a chance to catch up emotionally.

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Another point, the rain. The flood had to rise about one foot every minute. It would require a rain hitting so hard and fast that it would break the ark, or at least create enormous whirlpools that would suck them down.

 

Great point. Another thing that just occured to me is that if it rained enough to flood the whole world, then it would have also flooded the ark, and therefore it would have sunk. You can't get thousands of feet of rainwater outside the ark without getting that much hitting the ark. Why had this never occured to me before?

 

Another thing Starlyte77. Look into Nephilims. The nephilims were the spawn of angels having intercourse with humans. The flood supposedly killed all nephilim. Yet, in Numbers 13:32-33, Nephilim existed (supposedly) when Moses wanted to take Palestine. So was the flood a failed attempt? How did they survive?

 

Another great point. I should have thought of that when I was responding about internal problems in the Biblical account (I was aware of that problem, but it had slipped my mind).

 

 

Starlyte, here's another thing to think about. There are aquatic species that only survive in fresh water, and there are aquatic species that only survive in salt water. A world-wide flood would have mixed the two, thus ensuring that a lot of aquatic species could not survive.

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Star, I'd give it a rest for a while. Try your best to not think about it. Just be agnostic. Say "I don't know" and leave it at that. Don't let it destroy your life.

I second that. There's no need to take a full jump into it all. Just take a breather and let your belief stay at something in between. It will give you a chance to catch up emotionally.

 

And yet another great point, so "I third" it. ;) Perhaps I should have read all the posts and seen this before making my last post.

 

Starlyte, don't get yourself so overwhelmed with this stuff that it becomes a huge burden on you. Those of us who went through a similar scenario know how difficult it can be to make sense of the conflicting things you hear, and sometimes it's good to take a breather and just concentrate on enjoying a hobby or spending quality time with your spouse, or anything positive and fulfilling.

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No, I can't be sure of anything........or anyone.........or any scenerio.......or any GOD???........or evolution.............or ID............or a flood.......or incest and rape.........or a GOOD GOD.........or a HORRIBLE GOD............or dinosaurs..........or carbon dating........or radiodating....whatever.........or that I am really here right now.................I would rather not be............truthfully............this is so much to bare,........not trying to be over dramatic..........just telling yall how I fell and what;s going on in/with me..............it's not good right now............I want to be held by someone who loves me SOOOOOOOO BADLY...........but, they are all dead.......OOPS................lol

 

I can relate to your struggle, Patty, as most of us can. It took me years to finally convince myself for sure what the correct answer was, especially knowing that my wife and extended family would never understand. Fortunately for me, my wife came around, but I haven't been able to be open with our parents, etc. Do what you think will bring you peace.

 

Love and hugs,

TF xx oo {{star}}

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No, I can't be sure of anything........or anyone.........or any scenerio.......or any GOD???........or evolution.............or ID............or a flood.......or incest and rape.........or a GOOD GOD.........or a HORRIBLE GOD............or dinosaurs..........or carbon dating........or radiodating....whatever.........or that I am really here right now.................I would rather not be............truthfully............this is so much to bare,........not trying to be over dramatic..........just telling yall how I fell and what;s going on in/with me..............it's not good right now............I want to be held by someone who loves me SOOOOOOOO BADLY...........but, they are all dead.......OOPS................lol

 

I can relate to your struggle, Patty, as most of us can. It took me years to finally convince myself for sure what the correct answer was, especially knowing that my wife and extended family would never understand. Fortunately for me, my wife came around, but I haven't been able to be open with our parents, etc. Do what you think will bring you peace.

 

Love and hugs,

TF xx oo {{star}}

 

i think that what I think will bring me more heartache.......my hubby asked me this morning NOT to listen to any more videos from yall........and NOT to go to atheist.com.............he said we will listen/watch things together......but, he is working thru Sunday........he said we could watch together so he could "answer whatever questions I have".........and give me peace..........PEACE???????????? What the fuck is PEACE???????????? osrry kids...........just sayin.............

 

what i would like............i have received so many amazing videos from all of you............if you could send me the best ya got..........and I will save them to watch with him.....I know that's asking a lot........sorry for that..........but, if you could I would be so grateful........if not, no worries.......maybe some of you have decided I'm a lost cause and just quit responding..........maybe I am...........BUT............I WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH............wherever that leads.........ty all so much for supporting me............means more than you could ever know.........or...maybe you do....becuz someone supported you when you were where I am...........either way.......thank u again.......Patty, xx

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This is one the best out there.

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^^ I agree on the Evid3nce series. But didn't you already watch those?

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^^ I agree on the Evid3nce series. But didn't you already watch those?

 

yes I watched those...........but looking for the best of the best to watch with hubby........xx

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Patty, please allow me to recommend what I consider to be one of the finest videos I have seen concerning the archaeological evidence for the OT. I am posting part 1, but there are four parts. You and your hubby should watch all four parts. It is extremely well done and informative.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t440bxhn1qA

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From the info you've given, I think all this video watching is futile. Your hubby isn't gonna be changing his mind any time soon. He's all in, it's late in the 4th quarter, all the cards are on the table. He's gonna stick with his religion come hell or high water. You really think he's gonna take the chance on being wrong, and then get thrown in hell for eternity because he switched teams this late in life? You've got to just leave it alone, IMO. Hes never going to look at things fairly and honestly from the sound of it, like you're wiling to do. Just my thoughts.

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^^ Yep. The Bible video above can plant a seed, but hubby is not likely to ever change his mind.

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I'm thinking an honest, very heartfelt talk.

 

You have doubts, he does not. He shouldn't have to convert for you, just as you shouldn't have to convert, or hide your doubts, for him. I really think it's past time for the "Agree to disagree" line - you guys agree that you disagree on this, it's really nothing to discuss, you have different lines for proof. You're married, not clones, you don't have to agree about everything.

 

I'd tell him that you want to drop the subject, you'll continue to research, he'll continue going to church - this isn't a journey he is interested, not a subject he is interested in, but you are. If he wants you to watch this or that video, read this or that book, then it's a fair trade or forget it, you watch his if he watches yours, of equal length. If he says, "Yeah, but really, watch with an open mind and heart, really give it a try" - then the same applies to him - ask if he's going to watch an atheism video with an open mind and heart and really give it a try.

 

You are equals, if he wants to demand something of you, then he must be willing to do it for you as well. Likewise, you can't insist on anything that you're not willing to do for him.

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Starlyte, hang in there. I know those kinds of conversations with a loved one can be really frustrating and sad.

 

Patty, please allow me to recommend what I consider to be one of the finest videos I have seen concerning the archaeological evidence for the OT. I am posting part 1, but there are four parts. You and your hubby should watch all four parts. It is extremely well done and informative.

 

This looks especially interesting. Thanks for the recommendation. I've bookmarked it.

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Hi, Starlyte!

I agree with all the above "don't rush yourself" posts. You have all the time you want.

 

I don't know if this will help, but I'm a lifelong atheist, and I feel fine.

The world is full of wonder, really. There's another side of accepting science: the things science can tell us about how truly awe-inspiring the universe really is. Example: evolution, and natural selection. Consider how strong life itself is for sticking it out, all this time. (All estimated 3.5 Billion years of life on Earth.) Wow. Also, since we're all descended from the same common ancestor, all life on Earth really is one huge family. Sure, we share almost 99% of our genes with chimpanzees, our closest living relatives, but we also share about 57% of our genes with cabbage. Whoa. When you look at any living thing, you're looking at (distant) family. Same goes for fossils. Like a family album, captured in stone. The impact event that wiped out (non-avian) dinosaurs? Peanuts, compared to the end-Permian mass extinction, which actually killed off most life of any kind on land, and almost all in the oceans. Life goes on. We find it in the darkest, deepest trenches of the oceans, and it can survive radiation that would kill a human a thousand times over. Even better? It's all due to the process of natural selection - random mutations, and the chance that any one of them, no matter how crippling it may seem, could be the winning ticket in life's lottery. Any creature alive today, from you to me to sharks, to

, is a winner. The harder the struggle, the stronger life gets.

It's happening all around us, all the time, as well as within us. (I've got a Summer cold, right now, and it's duking it out for keeps with my immune system. It'll get killed off, for sure, but probably not before it manages to spread, which is the whole point.) A great example: even inside the sarcophagus around the shattered reactor at Chernobyl, there is a living fungus that eats radiation. Given time to thrive in there (which it has, given the half-lives of all that nasty stuff), it could become a brand new species. Natural selection in action, and all that happened within my lifetime. Even in the worst disasters humanity creates, life (because of random mutation and natural selection) finds a way to thrive. So, next time you look at a

, you're looking at a distant cousin,
dinosaur, and one of life's champion survivors.

What I'm trying to say: you don't have to give up your sense of wonder, your feelings of awe and joy and connectedness. Don't give up your sense of wonder. The world, just as it is, and life, at this growing end of a vast chain of random changes, is a wonderful thing. And that's just evolution and natural selection.

(Not even going into cosmology, or the scale of the universe, and only touching briefly on the scale of geologic time, just to name a very few of the things that give me warm fuzzies.)

You are far, far from alone. All life is related to you, even if you don't always get along (stupid cold virus).

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No, I can't be sure of anything........or anyone.........or any scenerio.......or any GOD???........or evolution.............or ID............or a flood.......or incest and rape.........or a GOOD GOD.........or a HORRIBLE GOD............or dinosaurs..........or carbon dating........or radiodating....whatever.........or that I am really here right now.................I would rather not be............truthfully............this is so much to bare,........not trying to be over dramatic..........just telling yall how I fell and what;s going on in/with me..............it's not good right now............I want to be held by someone who loves me SOOOOOOOO BADLY...........but, they are all dead.......OOPS................lol

 

I can relate to your struggle, Patty, as most of us can. It took me years to finally convince myself for sure what the correct answer was, especially knowing that my wife and extended family would never understand. Fortunately for me, my wife came around, but I haven't been able to be open with our parents, etc. Do what you think will bring you peace.

 

Love and hugs,

TF xx oo {{star}}

THANK YOU TF...........I am taking a break from all of this ............to regroup........xoxo

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thank all of you for your encouragement, and support.......those that sent me videos.......those that said, basically, not good to try to convince my husband of anything........I can't thank you all enough! I'm just "vegging" right now...........haven't brought the subject up to him........and he certainly doesn't bring it up to me......need some time to regroup I guess.......hope that isn't a bad thing.............love you all and thank you so much for all you have given me, especially the encouragement and the advice, and esp. the videos! will be back soon,,,,,,,,,,,after some time off from the thinking :) love you all xxx

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