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Worst "end Times" Logic.


Kaiser01
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So what is the dumbest thing you have ever heard about the "end times?"

 

Mine would haft to be about Christian persecution going to the point of death.

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The constant yammering about hurricanes, earthquakes, blizzards, crime etc..

 

But I assume this may pass as the generations that don't inherently understand the speed and access to information die off.

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I don't know if this logic but most Christians assume they will see the end times within their lifetime, and the most diehard of Christian revels in the idea that they will be persecuted until death during that time; I had fantasies about being in a concentration camp.

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that the rapture cannot occur until such a time as everyone alive on earth has heard the gospel message...

...AND that Mel Gibson's The Passion would be the pivotal event that allows this to happen!

 

Sad part, you guys wanna know where I heard that bit? Well, as much as I hate to admit it... I said it. Yep. That was about age 16 and I was taking the maximum allowable dose of the blue pill, finding all kinds of ways to justify believing because deep down I knew, even then, that the whole idea was seriously flawed.

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that the rapture cannot occur until such a time as everyone alive on earth has heard the gospel message...

...AND that Mel Gibson's The Passion would be the pivotal event that allows this to happen!

 

Sad part, you guys wanna know where I heard that bit? Well, as much as I hate to admit it... I said it. Yep. That was about age 16 and I was taking the maximum allowable dose of the blue pill, finding all kinds of ways to justify believing because deep down I knew, even then, that the whole idea was seriously flawed.

 

I don't understand how billions without TV would be able to be impacted by the film lol.GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

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That everyone will be required to take the 'mark of the beast' in order to live. Funny thing is if you stop and think about it, wouldn't most people have heard something about this sometime in their lives and recognize what is going on? So, why would they meekly accept this? I have asked a couple fundies this, at first they got confused then angry at me.

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They could happen any day now. Jesus is coming, look busy.

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All that political tampering with Israel to bring about the end times.

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All that political tampering with Israel to bring about the end times.

 

The Christian defense of Isreal isnt even really biblical to begin with.

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Well, I'm just up the street from a ministry that's heavily focused on the "end times." It's the ministry I just left. I could go on and on. Some of their eschatology is actually way more solid than you'll find in a lot of Christianity... but it's all still rather batshit insane. And most of the people who come here don't study that deeply and focus more on the conspiracy theory bits. I know people who have spare generators, stockpiles of food, etc. They're "selling fear." It's effective.

 

All I know is that when the zombie apocalypse hits, I'm arming myself and storming their supplies.

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I don't know if this logic but most Christians assume they will see the end times within their lifetime, and the most diehard of Christian revels in the idea that they will be persecuted until death during that time; I had fantasies about being in a concentration camp.

OMG!!! Me too. From the age of 7, I had nightmares and anxiety about being in a concentration camp and being tortured to death.

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I always thought it was strange that even though no one knows the day/hour, someone's always trying to figure it out. I remember the days of creation theory, which said Christ would return in 1996.

 

I spent my entire life feeling ripped off that the end times would steal my life. The irony is that while I was looking for the end times, *Christianity* stole my life.

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I always thought it was strange that even though no one knows the day/hour, someone's always trying to figure it out. I remember the days of creation theory, which said Christ would return in 1996.

 

I spent my entire life feeling ripped off that the end times would steal my life. The irony is that while I was looking for the end times, *Christianity* stole my life.

 

Isn't it ironic?

Dontcha think?

A little TOO ironic...

 

Kinda like rain in your wedding day, or a free ride when you've already paid. The good advice that you just didn't take. Who'da thought !? It figures.

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I seriously walked around with one ear perked listening for that fucking shofar.

 

Goddammit.

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I've always been amused (in a train wreck kind of way) by that bit in Revelations about the ginormous dragon -- You know, that one that's supposed to sweep a third of the stars out of the sky with its tail?

 

I'm sure the Hubble telescope would've spotted it by now. silverpenny013Hmmm.gif

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I likes the part about when Jesus comes trotting in on his snow white stallion with the jean jacket of truth on or whatever the fack it was and a swords shooting out of his mouth. And Godzillas shooting laser beams out of their frickin eyes.

 

 

AWESOME!!

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I spent the weekend with some family who is firmly convinced that in 20-30 years they will be fighting a new Civil War against Muslims who are taking over the country with their Sharia Law.

 

Good times.

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I can attest that Jesus came already. And I made him clean it up! B)

 

I love crazy end times/end of the world crap. It is said that the Mayans would actually celebrate 12/21/12 because they completed a cycle. They would not fear it and there is no evidence that they thought it was a bad thing.

 

I need to start selling bumper stickers that say "The world will end on Tuesday", because that's as true a statement as any we have heard in the past.

 

I also love the phrase, "The end is nigh".

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I think the big thing for me was, when I was like 15 and my best friend (still friends today) started reading the "Left Behind" series and he just HAD to tell me aaaaaalllll about it.

 

I've always wondered what happens if in between the time of the rapture and of the tribulation if you decide to give yourself to jebus. Does he come back and get you, or is it "... nah.. too late.. you're supposed to do that BEFORE I rapture everybody, ya jerk!"

 

I always considered that to be THE loophole in case, ya know, the rapture really happened.

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I spent the weekend with some family who is firmly convinced that in 20-30 years they will be fighting a new Civil War against Muslims who are taking over the country with their Sharia Law.

 

Good times.

 

Sounds fun! I'm sure they're dead on. You're only enabling the mooslims with your doubt, BJ.

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I think the big thing for me was, when I was like 15 and my best friend (still friends today) started reading the "Left Behind" series and he just HAD to tell me aaaaaalllll about it.

 

I've always wondered what happens if in between the time of the rapture and of the tribulation if you decide to give yourself to jebus. Does he come back and get you, or is it "... nah.. too late.. you're supposed to do that BEFORE I rapture everybody, ya jerk!"

 

I always considered that to be THE loophole in case, ya know, the rapture really happened.

 

Under my understanding, if you wait your ass is grass and Yahspiresus is the lawn mower.

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that the rapture cannot occur until such a time as everyone alive on earth has heard the gospel message...

...AND that Mel Gibson's The Passion would be the pivotal event that allows this to happen!

 

Sad part, you guys wanna know where I heard that bit? Well, as much as I hate to admit it... I said it. Yep. That was about age 16 and I was taking the maximum allowable dose of the blue pill, finding all kinds of ways to justify believing because deep down I knew, even then, that the whole idea was seriously flawed.

 

Don't beat yourself up. We've all been there. If I went back to my most delusional days, I bet you could find some FSTDT worthy stuff.

 

One I've heard is that since "sin" is being more accepted and glorified now, that God will pour out his wrath on us all. It's always the same stuff, sex is glorified, homosexuality is more accepted, and kids have no respect for authority. Now they just sound like bitter old people who miss their "good ol days".

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I was always worried as a kid of waking up and being left behind. One time i thought it actually happened one morning when i couldn't find any body and i freaked out lol.

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I don't know if this logic but most Christians assume they will see the end times within their lifetime, and the most diehard of Christian revels in the idea that they will be persecuted until death during that time; I had fantasies about being in a concentration camp.

OMG!!! Me too. From the age of 7, I had nightmares and anxiety about being in a concentration camp and being tortured to death.

I spent a lot of time sketching about stuff like that: having to somehow live without money because there was no way I'd get the mark of the beast. Getting told to renounce Jesus under pain of torture and all that too.

 

In a messed up kinda way I also spent a lot of time looking forwards to it, and Jesus's holy return and divine smiting. How glorious that day would be!

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