When Clients Witness To Me...

[decafaholic]

I'm a massage therapist, which means I spend a lot of time in a room with a total stranger enveloped by elevator music.

 

Occasionally, I'll have a particularly religious client who sees it as an opportunity to quiz me about my beliefs and recommend I give theirs a try. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often.

 

But Thursday, I had a return client who I hadn't seen in a while. Apparently, we had previously discussed my lack of faith, although I don't remember it, and he must have brought it up, because I never start spiritual discussions w/clients.

 

Anyway, he asked if I was going anywhere on my spiritual journey and I said no, not lately. I've taken a break from doing any spiritual reading, although I read The Four Agreements a while back and really liked it.

 

Then came the insufferable question: "Have you ever thought of just reading the bible?"

 

Me: I've read it

 

Him: What parts have you read?

 

Me: all of it

 

Him: Old testament and new?

 

Me: yes, it was required reading.

 

Him: I find it's always better when you read something because you WANT to. Maybe give it another try.

 

Me: I don't think I'm going to be reading the bible any time soon.

 

He went on to recommend a book by Rick Warren's wife ( even as a christian, I found The Purpose Driven Life boring. I'm not a fan) and told me he would be praying for me.

 

I was very professional and polite and when I got home, I beat my head against a wall (figuratively).

 

It's like Christians CANNOT COMPREHEND someone reading the bible thoroughly, being completely immersed in Christianity and church culture and then saying "Nah, it's not for me."

 

Sir, I'm not an atheist for lack of Christian experience. As a teenager I was praying for an hour a day and reading the bible daily BY CHOICE. I led a students for christ group at school for 5 years. I did my share of fasting, leading church music, praying, teaching, and witnessing because I so badly wanted god to like me.

 

I not only tithed, but I gave thousands of dollars of my own money to missions work as a teenager. No, I did not ask others to donate to my missions fund. I worked at a restaurant and gave my hard-earned money so that missionaries could have the latest vehicles. Stupid, I know, but there's no end to what a brainwashed teen will do.

 

So don't treat me like I didn't give Christianity a fair shake, cause honey, I gave it more than you could ever imagine and it wasn't fucking worth it. So back off before I put too much pressure on the wrong vertebre and throw your back out!

[TrueFreedom]

Ok, I can relate, but that's pretty fucked up. Don't hurt them, decaf!

[midniterider]

I'm a massage therapist, which means I spend a lot of time in a room with a total stranger enveloped by elevator music.

 

Occasionally, I'll have a particularly religious client who sees it as an opportunity to quiz me about my beliefs and recommend I give theirs a try. Thankfully, it doesn't happen often.

 

But Thursday, I had a return client who I hadn't seen in a while. Apparently, we had previously discussed my lack of faith, although I don't remember it, and he must have brought it up, because I never start spiritual discussions w/clients.

 

Anyway, he asked if I was going anywhere on my spiritual journey and I said no, not lately. I've taken a break from doing any spiritual reading, although I read The Four Agreements a while back and really liked it.

 

Then came the insufferable question: "Have you ever thought of just reading the bible?"

 

Me: I've read it

 

Him: What parts have you read?

 

Me: all of it

 

Him: Old testament and new?

 

Me: yes, it was required reading.

 

Him: I find it's always better when you read something because you WANT to. Maybe give it another try.

 

Me: I don't think I'm going to be reading the bible any time soon.

 

He went on to recommend a book by Rick Warren's wife ( even as a christian, I found The Purpose Driven Life boring. I'm not a fan) and told me he would be praying for me.

 

I was very professional and polite and when I got home, I beat my head against a wall (figuratively).

 

It's like Christians CANNOT COMPREHEND someone reading the bible thoroughly, being completely immersed in Christianity and church culture and then saying "Nah, it's not for me."

 

Sir, I'm not an atheist for lack of Christian experience. As a teenager I was praying for an hour a day and reading the bible daily BY CHOICE. I led a students for christ group at school for 5 years. I did my share of fasting, leading church music, praying, teaching, and witnessing because I so badly wanted god to like me.

 

I not only tithed, but I gave thousands of dollars of my own money to missions work as a teenager. No, I did not ask others to donate to my missions fund. I worked at a restaurant and gave my hard-earned money so that missionaries could have the latest vehicles. Stupid, I know, but there's no end to what a brainwashed teen will do.

 

So don't treat me like I didn't give Christianity a fair shake, cause honey, I gave it more than you could ever imagine and it wasn't fucking worth it. So back off before I put too much pressure on the wrong vertebre and throw your back out!

 

Why not tell him that? Or does your job depend on you being neutral?

[London]

I hate when that crap happens. I usually get very matter of fact and skoot them on to another subject so they end up talking about something far off from that. I would have answered that I was complete in my spiritual journey. If he asked more about it I would have mentioned that my spirituality is quite sacred to me and I never discuss it with others. The he would have still said "do you read the bible" because he would assume I meant xianity, it always happens like that.

 

I would then have jumped at the chance to change the subject. "Oh so you read a lot do you? Are you fond of the classics?" And then on and on from there. Until he was rambling on about fishing or overhauling his 55 Mustang. Anything but religion.

 

xians have a one track mind. bible-god-jesus-bible-god-jesus.....

[sarahlee]

It's like Christians CANNOT COMPREHEND someone reading the bible thoroughly, being completely immersed in Christianity and church culture and then saying "Nah, it's not for me."

Well obviously if you actually read it you're gonna convert to xianity. Why wouldn't you? It makes so much sense and isn't batshit crazy at all. I know, cause it says so in the bible.

[MerryG]

decafaholic,

 

If you ever come up with a great solution, let us all know!

 

My circumstances are different than yours, but the phenomenon is similar. People often either ASS-U-ME that I'm xtian and/or, when they find out I'm not, they besiege me. I try to avoid the subject, but I seem to be a magnet for these folks. I see that you're located in the bible belt, which I'm guessing has something to do with the frequency of your xtian encounters.

 

One thing I'm doing is working on a "pros-kill" line -- a single sentence I can say to halt them before they get started.

 

Something nice and neutral would be great: "I respect your beliefs and I hope you'll respect mine." However, this doesn't work well with people who think that the best way to "respect" me is to save me from the eternal fires of god's own hell.

 

I'm still looking for a simple, polite statement that just doesn't give them an opening: "Thank you but I don't want to discuss religion."

 

But definitely there are times, when dealing with the particularly persistant sort ,that I'm half tempted to pop out with some silliness like, "Oh, don't waste your time on me; I've blasphemed agains the holy spirit so I'm already certified for hellfire" or "My master Satan has ordered me not to discuss this."

 

Above all, I understand the anguish proselytizers can cause those of us who are trying to get OVER xtianity and don't need to have old, emotional stuff brought up.

 

 

I must say, though, that never, not once, have I had an xtian (other than perhaps a JW, and that was long ago) urge me to read the entire bible. That's often about the last thing xtians want us skeptics to do!

[MerryG]

So don't treat me like I didn't give Christianity a fair shake, cause honey, I gave it more than you could ever imagine and it wasn't fucking worth it. So back off before I put too much pressure on the wrong vertebre and throw your back out!

 

LOL. Yeah, I know you can't actually threaten that. But I understand the thought. With proselytizing xtians, it's always a no-win situation.

 

One of the frustrations is that even though we live in a culture absolutely sodden with xtianity, so many xtians somehow believe we've never "heard the good news."

 

Then, if we tell them that yes indeedy we've not only heard it but really tried our best to be xtians at one time, they look down on us for being apostates.

 

Or if we tell them that yes indeedy we've not only heard the "good news" but have studied the bible diligently and read the book's history and (we never quite come out and say this) know more about their religion than they do and we're less convinced with every word we read, then we're "just being stubborn" or we're arrogant fools who "think we're smarter than god."

 

Arrrrrrgh!!!!!!!

[Kaiser01]

My parents do that crap all the time, i ussualy just walk away because i cant take the stupidity.

[VeryBerry]

As a school teacher in NYC, I teach a diverse group of students. Most of my students are muslims whose parents immigrated from some countries in Africa. At times, the students try to convince me to become muslim so that I can be a better person. One third grader told me about the goodness of Allah and how Allah blessses those who obey him. I usually ignore their comments and change the subject. But, one time, one student told me that she was taught that if she speaks about death, something bad will happen to her or she will attract evil forces. I guess their beliefs vary from country to country. I couldn't hold my tongue, I told her that I was going to put her belief to the test. Since the school received the NY Post for free, I made reference to a little girl that was killed (she was all over the news for weeks). Then, I said to the child that nothing happened to me. She replied " It's because you're not muslim." But, she never challenged me again LOL.

 

Some of my students are evangelical student as well. One of them tried to witness to me. She asked me if I believed in God, I said yes. I was tempted to tell her that I believe in a higher power, not the bible God. But as a teacher, I am not supposed to discuss religion with the students. Then she started telling me about the sermon she heard from the day before. I looked at her and I felt so bad for her. She was 8 years old and yet she had been brainwashed to believe that she must make disciples for Jesus ( who probably never existed). I gently reminded her that her topic had nothing to do with Author's Purpose which was the focus of the lesson that day. As I sat with her to confer, she invited me to her church, I smiled and continued to discuss the book that she was reading. When I was 8 years old, I didn't have the nerve to ask my teacher about her religious beliefs. These pastors are really preparing those children to be missionaries to recruit more converts. We all know that the more members they have, the more money the church will collect. At the end, it's all about money!

 

On another note, one fourth grader at my school was held a hero because he mustered the courage to ask the bourough president a daring question. Apparently, the boy was chosen to be part of a singing group that performed at an award ceremony hosted by the bourough president. After the ceremony, while the boy was shaking hands with the bourough president, he asked him loudly " Are you a Christian?" The boy continues :" You speak, talk, and act like a Christian, are you a Christian?" The bourough president replied " Yes, I am." The boy smiled ad walked away. My principal said that the boy made her proud. Her comments made me sick to my stomach. I think that the boy was told by either his pastor or parents to ask that question.

[Carolorado]

Oh, Very Berry, your story almost made me cry. Having lived through a 24/7 evangelical childhood, I feel the pain of those kids. Their parents probably tell their kids they are not going to heaven if they do not witness their beliefs. Instead of heaven, they will get sent to hell if they don't speak out about their god. And hell is really scary when you are a kid.

 

These kids are being brainwashed because their parents were before them were brainwashed, too. If someone said 'Thor died to protect us from his daddy who was gonna kill us if we didn't worship and obey him',' people would think that person was insane. But the very same people expect you to believe the Jesus stuff.

 

Teach the kids the best critical thinking skills you can and hope some of them figure it out. I find teenagers and 20 something's much more savvy than even 10 years ago. I believe the Internet opened a lot of eyes because many of the younger ones do not believe in any god. I think there will be less and less believers as time passes. Good luck and best wishes.

[Sybaris]

 

 

Sir, I'm not an atheist for lack of Christian experience.

 

You obviously weren't a "true" christian ;-)

[Positivist]

Ugh. I like how you handled that, though!

 

The fundagelical mindset is one that

1. Is like a virus that *must* replicate, and

2. Believes that *everyone* deep down wants to be a fundagelical.

 

I had a mormon colleague witness to me. I was too nice (and a bit curious about what it felt like to be witnessed to) to tell her to STFU, so I let her prattle on for almost two hours. I finally said, "You know what? Joseph Smith was a narcissistic, delusional pedophile. That kind of religion just doesn't interest me." That ended the conversation....

[★ Citsonga ★]

Are you an independent therapist or do you work for a company? If it's a company, then do they have policies against debating religion/politics with clients? If so, then you could politely inform your clients that you're not permitted to discuss the issue.

[Xerces]

Tell them you don't feel comfortable discussing religion while you're working.

[lunaticheathen]

I had a silly teen boy try to witness to me when I worked in a gift shop in New Orleans. He was obviously a tourist, ("mission trip" shirt and all) so I simply smiled, and said that I practice Vodou, and if he wanted me to listen to his speech, I'd need a bit of his hair.

 

He ran out like his ass was catching fire.

[SoftIce]

lunatic your post made me giggle. Thanks I'm down in the dumps right now.

 

Honestly though, isn't there some rule or something against bringing up religion in the workspace. I can understand how it can be easily slipped around when it's one on one, but in a gift store? Ugh.

 

I'm with the people that think you should have one or two great phrases to completely bring the entire thing to a halt in a polite but firm manner.

[riddick]

The "I respect your beliefs and I hope you'll respect mine" line never works, Christians don't and never will respect your beliefs, i wouldn't might trying "I don't respect your beliefs and I know you won't respect mine".

[London]

The "I respect your beliefs and I hope you'll respect mine" line never works, Christians don't and never will respect your beliefs, i wouldn't might trying "I don't respect your beliefs and I know you won't respect mine".

 

That is so true because it's a game to them. it's the how many can I convert to get more points to get in to heaven game.

 

Jesus is the way, the only way <sticks fingers in ears> la la la la la la la la la la

 

The sad thing is that most of us want to be professional and just move on with our day but xians try and test our patience.

 

I seriously think we should start saying things like, "christianity is so cool, that Lot having sex with his daughters was so fucking hot!", or "I'm really thankful I read the bible, I used to be so poor taking care of my two bratty kids, but the lord said I should stone them to death due to their behavior and now I can finally support myself, sometimes I miss my kids, but only sometimes."

or even,

"The bible's great right? I have three wives and five concubines. How about you, how many wives do you have? I love that whole concubine thing. Glory to god!"

[Roxie]

Sometimes it can be the other way around. I worked for an attorney once who specialized in divorce. When the client came in, they were met with a bible lesson and usually the attorney would refuse to proceed with the paperwork. How can you specialize in something you don't do? I was so glad to quit working there.

 

It is hard to blow off a christain, especially when your livelihood depends on their financial contribution to you as an owner/operator. My brother is also a massage therapist and he tells me that he just agrees with everything his clients say. If they are republican, he says he is too, if they are Dalls Cowboy fans, he is too, if they are christian/jewish, he is too.

 

If you were ever christian and if you were ever "saved", then just go with that.

 

Had a man stop me in line at the check out. He was infront of me blocking me from walking away. Wanted to know if I had been saved. "Yes, I told him, in fact twice." It wasn't a lie, I had been brainwashed/saved twice in my past. He ws happy with the answer, but then asked me to go to WalMart with him to buy new clothes to meet jesus in. Sometimes you have to run for your life and other times It's just easier to deal with them by lying.

[sarahlee]

Had a man stop me in line at the check out. He was infront of me blocking me from walking away. Wanted to know if I had been saved. "Yes, I told him, in fact twice." It wasn't a lie, I had been brainwashed/saved twice in my past. He ws happy with the answer, but then asked me to go to WalMart with him to buy new clothes to meet jesus in. Sometimes you have to run for your life and other times It's just easier to deal with them by lying.

That's terrifying. But then again, I don't expect anything less from people who corner me in public.

[SageHealer]

Had a man stop me in line at the check out. He was infront of me blocking me from walking away. Wanted to know if I had been saved. "Yes, I told him, in fact twice." It wasn't a lie, I had been brainwashed/saved twice in my past. He ws happy with the answer, but then asked me to go to WalMart with him to buy new clothes to meet jesus in. Sometimes you have to run for your life and other times It's just easier to deal with them by lying.

That's terrifying. But then again, I don't expect anything less from people who corner me in public.

[SageHealer]

Just politely tell your client that you don't talk religion with clients. Try to steer the conversation back to the therapy session. If he keeps prying into your spiritual life, just keep repeating that you don't talk religion with clients. Be like a broken record. "I don't talk religion with clients" as many times as needed, or until you feel you need to stop the therapy session and recommend he work with another therapist.

[Paine]

I would start a little black list of bullshitters and when they call for an appointment...I'd be too busy braiding my pubes to find the time to even crack their knuckles.

 

OR>>>>> of you need the money...(who doesn't ?)

 

TAKE THEIR MONEY AND TRY TO DE-CONVERT THEM.

 

They'll stop coming ALL on their own.....and you will get their cash until they see the SIN of paying to have their naked asses rubbed down for pleasure.

 

Stay strong!

[Jose]

I used to keep these in the rear pocket of my card holder for just such occasions...

 

[Kurari]

It's like Christians CANNOT COMPREHEND someone reading the bible thoroughly, being completely immersed in Christianity and church culture and then saying "Nah, it's not for me."

 

Of course not. Christianity doesn't work like that. You come to God and accept Jesus, and they take care of you if you're sincere.

 

If that doesn't happen, you must not have been doing it right, were not a "real" Christian, or were tempted away by the devil.

 

Because to admit that somebody sincerely tried and then genuinely just decided it wasn't for them means that God failed or wasn't there. That is a possibility no Christian can ever entertain unless their faith is cracking.