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My Mother's Suffering From Depression.


SoftIce
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God. Lately things have been getting worse and worse around my house. My mom's been going through a lot of serious crap for the past several years, and she's been unemployed for around seven due to it. She's in a severe depressed state, and her only real social contact is through facebook. But anytime she feels humiliated it just tears apart whatever self esteem and positivity she'd been able to gather. (eg: someone she had a crush on that she knew from her past said that he didn't couldn't be in a relationship right now, but then she sees a note from some girl going over to his house in 10 mins, and he was like 'I'd like nothing better.)

 

I wish I could help her more, but there's not much I can really do. I just felt like venting because I hate feeling fucking useless and helpless to help people I love in situations like these.

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Guest Valk0010

I can't speak for its abilities on others but it got me out of my mental wheelchair. I hate the name of it, but its called: Acceptance and Commitment therapy. It did wonders for me.

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Thanks Valk. I'll look into that.

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SoftIce...I am so sorry you are feeling helpless about your mom's depression. And I'm so sorry your mom is depressed.You are so right honey - you can't 'fix' someone's depression. I'm very familar with the feeling of depression. I don't have any children of my own, but the 'neice' I brought up, is around your age and is always such a sweetheart to just sit and listen to me. Maybe you could just gently guide your mom to the doctor or encourage her to exercise and get out of the house. When you mix regular life and menopause together - it can make you feel pretty crazy. She's probably around my age, so remind her that some of this depression could be coming from that fact. They have things to help you now.. Encourage her to get help hon.

 

Best wishes and a big hug for you today.

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Another idea is to get her to her doctor to see if she has any physical problems or bad reactions from another med. I am normally an optimist, but I took a medication that made me so depressed I felt like I was in a deep well and could not get out. It was a horrible experience, and I was only on it less than a week, and refused to take more.. Check her meds for that kind of problem.

 

And finally, the lack of a job sounds like her main source of depression. Get her interested in something, anything to keep her mind occupied. Take her to library for books. Find free classes in your area. Take her for a picnic. The list goes on and on. But the secret to being happy, IMHO, is learning to plan, but not worry. Live in this second, it is truly all we have. Try to help your mother learn the beauty of just being alive this very second.

 

Peace.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks so much for the support you guys. I'm going to try and get her to talk walks outside with me, since I think that helps her a lot. It's hard because I get frustrated with her sometimes as well, even though I try not to be. It's just a huge tense situation for both of us right now.

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I truly sympathise SoftIce, my mother also suffers from severe depression, and I can identify with what you're going through. Medical help and counselling would be best, but in my experience the drive to get that has to come from the person. Perhaps suggest it might help her to talk over her problems with someone objective who can give her advice with coping.

 

Like my mum, she probably also gets upset by small things (like the FB incident you mentioned) because her world is so small. The ideas you mention are great. Walking is even proven to help lift mood and is a self help thing your mum can do easily.

 

Here are some sites I use for info and advice,I hope they're of some use to you.

 

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/living-with.aspx

 

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/depression_and_anxiety

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/living_depressed_person.htm

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