I'm Still Tithing

[TrueFreedom]

Good luck, Sad! Hope it goes better than expected!

[qadeshet]

In a marriage, half of the family income can be said to belong to the wife. So your wife should be able to tithe her half of the estate. No reason why you should have to tithe your half.

[ConureDelSol]

My dad makes sure to bring one of my checks with him every Saturday to make sure I don't "forget" to tithe. Come on vet clinics, one you need to hire me so I can stop feeding the troll.

[Positivist]

Perhaps you could agree on an alternative place of giving? Since we've stopped going to church, we have started giving to another (non-religious) cause we both believe is worthy of supporting.

That's what we did too. We initially called it "tithing on the world", to make the world a better place and keep us from being greedy (double income, no kids). Now we just see it as citizenship of this planet.

[Positivist]

You could alternate the tithe: Tithe to the church one week/month and then treat yourself to a date night the next (with the tithe money). See which makes more of a difference in your lives.

[thesadclown]

I told her last night. I said that I didn't want to go to church or pay my half of the tithe. We'll see how it goes now. She didn't have a whole lot to say to me in the conversation, especially towards the end, so I don't have much to go on for predicting how this Sunday will go. It would have been one in which we paid our tithe.

[TrueFreedom]

I told her last night. I said that I didn't want to go to church or pay my half of the tithe. We'll see how it goes now. She didn't have a whole lot to say to me in the conversation, especially towards the end, so I don't have much to go on for predicting how this Sunday will go. It would have been one in which we paid our tithe.

She has probably just been waiting for you to make a move like this. I think it will be good for you both to move forward. Be gentle but firm with your decisions. Hopefully she will eventually come to accept them.

[antix]

Don't be deceptive because that tactic will cause far more problems when (not if) your wife finds out.

 

Here's the bottom line with your finances. It's a 50/50 deal. Neither of you control it all to the exclusion of the other. If she wants to give 5 percent away to the church and you can afford it, so be it. But she must understand that she does not have complete control of the money. If she gives 5 percent away, then you have a right in an equal relationship to use 5 percent for whatever purpose you choose. Of course, you must be willing to insist on financial equality for it to work out.

 

Tell her: You can give a check for 5 percent. I will give 5 percent to the salvation army or some charity that actually helps out people. See if she is cool with that. If she is not, you have some issues to work out. If she is cool with that, then you hit the lottery, it shows she is open minded.

[RankStranger]

Listen Clown- I really do feel bad for you. But you gotta show some balls here. You're a grown man and you have the right to do as you damn well please so long as you're not hurting anybody. If she can't respect that... well that isn't much of a 'relationship'.

[★ Citsonga ★]

Don't be deceptive because that tactic will cause far more problems when (not if) your wife finds out.

 

Exactly. If checks stop getting cashed, it will show up when balancing the checkbook anyway. Even if it wouldn't be so easy to find out, I'm still of the opinion that dishonesty isn't a viable option.

[mcdaddy]

My plan is to give about 5% to charities I deem worthy. Which is probly roughly the same as my church would give to charities after they took their 50% of my money.

[★ Citsonga ★]

My plan is to give about 5% to charities I deem worthy. Which is probly roughly the same as my church would give to charities after they took their 50% of my money.

 

If those charities are like the ones most churches support, they probably invest more in pushing a religious agenda than humanitarian causes. As such, if you choose wisely, your 5% can go much further than it probably would if filtered through the church.

[Denyoz]

Tell your wife that she is your God now, and give your tithe to her

[Denyoz]

When I was a Christian, my excuse for not tithing was this: The government takes 33% of my salary. My tithe is included in that. Tax = Tithe.

[Vigile]

My plan is to give about 5% to charities I deem worthy. Which is probly roughly the same as my church would give to charities after they took their 50% of my money.

 

You're probably being generous. I remember when our youth group went to Mexico on a mission project (which we paid for out of our own pockets) and the Mexicans were literally living in makeshift houses from roadside scrap and the church there was made out of cinder block with a dirt floor while the church I returned to was brand new and worth millions. I'd be surprised if more than 1% of the tithe money gets past overhead and the building payment.

[jefflives]

TSC - Good on you for telling her. Marriage involves compromise. You shouldn't have to tithe from your earnings simply because she wants to do that, and you ABSOLUTELY need to stand your ground on church and bible study attendence! If she can't handle that and maintain the relationship, you'll have bigger issues.

 

Besides, she, as a Christian, should also be following that whole "Wives, submit to your husbands" thing, right?

 

Best of luck to you this coming Sunday!!

[mcdaddy]

It was a rough estimate, guys.