Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

What Killed Your Faith For Good?


Lilith666

Recommended Posts

 

My "deconversion" is independant of christians, because I always knew they were ass.

 

However, let us talk about "christians". They are no better than anyone else. They have their little groups, they have their gossip, and they have jealous arses all tucked in.

 

I've been a victim of gossip in church. BIG FUCKING TIME. Bunch of hypocritical betrayers. I've seen gay people being treated like trash. I've seen some really crappy shit and have gone through it myself.

 

Keep in mind I visitied droves of churches, many denominations.

 

I visited several denominations in my time church hopping. I wouldn't doubt that for an instant. It really burns my biscuits to know that this shit is as universal and commonplace as it is. I've had the misfortune of dealing with the gossip junkies at the last church I went to. I wasn't at the one from two churches ago long enough to find out how ugly the gossip can be, but I didn't talk much either. It pissed them off to no end, though. The church after that was pretty gossipy, and it was a small one too. Double whammy, right there. It was a catalyst in my deconversion, among other things.

 

I've seen the way the people at the last church I visited would gossip about others behind their backs. A couple of them were ones I thought I could trust. One of them, I called him Gary on here before, told me something about a "friend" of his that I was on decent terms with, and that was when I realized if he could tell me about so-and-so's personal business, what's to stop him from telling others about me and what little he managed to finagle out of me? That happened three months before I left that church for the last time.

 

Anyways, let them have their stupid social club. The way they treat others speaks volumes about how they feel about themselves. You've walked away, and they're now people you used to know. smile.png

 

 

Yeah, it's amazing how as a young boy I had more empathy for people than christian adults. I stopped going to church when I was a christian and told my mother they were all lying trash.

 

Don't even get me started on the middle-class, non-dominational, wackos. Talk about delusional cowards.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think i've posted in this thread several times, something else always comes to mind. I think I could sum it up as a lack of power. In the bible Jesus heals people instantly, it doesn't take years, he doesn't refuse people, so as a Christian I didn't think I was out of line to have high expectations for deliverance and healing in my life, but in the end it became too difficult for me to believe that there was any real power, at least not any that was being made available to me for whatever reason. My expectations weren't met. I expected a lot, but why shouldn't I expect big things from a big God?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

My "deconversion" is independant of christians, because I always knew they were ass.

 

However, let us talk about "christians". They are no better than anyone else. They have their little groups, they have their gossip, and they have jealous arses all tucked in.

 

I've been a victim of gossip in church. BIG FUCKING TIME. Bunch of hypocritical betrayers. I've seen gay people being treated like trash. I've seen some really crappy shit and have gone through it myself.

 

Keep in mind I visitied droves of churches, many denominations.

 

I visited several denominations in my time church hopping. I wouldn't doubt that for an instant. It really burns my biscuits to know that this shit is as universal and commonplace as it is. I've had the misfortune of dealing with the gossip junkies at the last church I went to. I wasn't at the one from two churches ago long enough to find out how ugly the gossip can be, but I didn't talk much either. It pissed them off to no end, though. The church after that was pretty gossipy, and it was a small one too. Double whammy, right there. It was a catalyst in my deconversion, among other things.

 

I've seen the way the people at the last church I visited would gossip about others behind their backs. A couple of them were ones I thought I could trust. One of them, I called him Gary on here before, told me something about a "friend" of his that I was on decent terms with, and that was when I realized if he could tell me about so-and-so's personal business, what's to stop him from telling others about me and what little he managed to finagle out of me? That happened three months before I left that church for the last time.

 

Anyways, let them have their stupid social club. The way they treat others speaks volumes about how they feel about themselves. You've walked away, and they're now people you used to know. smile.png

 

 

Yeah, it's amazing how as a young boy I had more empathy for people than christian adults. I stopped going to church when I was a christian and told my mother they were all lying trash.

 

Don't even get me started on the middle-class, non-dominational, wackos. Talk about delusional cowards.

 

 

I always wondered why that was the case myself. I couldn't believe how pathetic it was that kids and outsiders could have more empathy and kindness than these churchies. They are cowards when push comes to shove, and they weren't worthy of your time and energy to begin with.

 

I never bothered with the non-denominational churches, mainly b/c there wasn't one close by. Doesn't surprise me that they're delusional cowards, same as the rest of the churchies across the board, regardless of denomination.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

It gelled for me while in class at Moody studying Revelation, oddly enough. Of course, a lot of groundwork had preceded that moment, but I remember thinking to myself, "So this really IS all bullshit!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I always wondered why that was the case myself. I couldn't believe how pathetic it was that kids and outsiders could have more empathy and kindness than these churchies. They are cowards when push comes to shove, and they weren't worthy of your time and energy to begin with.

 

I never bothered with the non-denominational churches, mainly b/c there wasn't one close by. Doesn't surprise me that they're delusional cowards, same as the rest of the churchies across the board, regardless of denomination.

 

 

The pastors don't care for the members like they should, I've helped a few christians that were ignored by the pastors. The rest of the congregation does very little, as well. I've had many people cry to me because I reached out to them, all ages, all sizes, etc. They just needed someone to help them.

 

Non-denominational churches in middle-class neighborhoods are the worst, by far.

 

New Beginnings in Dallas, Texas is filled with elitist assholes. I was only 14-15 years old at the time and came out of the bus near the church (weekday), and an elderly woman who had polio was exhausted because of the sun. I had no phone, so I walked over to the church figuring they could let us use the phone to call an ambulance or taxi. At the door they said we could only use the phone if we were members of the church, fucking idiots. I walked her over to where the youth students meet and 2 of the lead singers were there, so I asked them and they told us no even when I explained to them the woman's condition. I got so fucking angry and told them off screaming. I walked her across the street to a convenience store and a fucking muslim let us use his phone.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And at this other church, there was this man that had autism.

 

On Wednesday's and other times the church served dinner he would sit all by himself, an no one would ever talk to him. I decided to be his friend and spend time with him when the church served.

 

And guess what? He had autism but this man was smart. He memorized the whole bible, could answer any questions, and had studied the bible profusely.

 

But everyone had to gossip and insult me behind my back just for spending time with him. Blah.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The story of Noah's Ark is what finally got me away from the twisted batshit crazy Babble (Bible).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

I always wondered why that was the case myself. I couldn't believe how pathetic it was that kids and outsiders could have more empathy and kindness than these churchies. They are cowards when push comes to shove, and they weren't worthy of your time and energy to begin with.

 

I never bothered with the non-denominational churches, mainly b/c there wasn't one close by. Doesn't surprise me that they're delusional cowards, same as the rest of the churchies across the board, regardless of denomination.

 

 

The pastors don't care for the members like they should, I've helped a few christians that were ignored by the pastors. The rest of the congregation does very little, as well. I've had many people cry to me because I reached out to them, all ages, all sizes, etc. They just needed someone to help them.

 

Non-denominational churches in middle-class neighborhoods are the worst, by far.

 

New Beginnings in Dallas, Texas is filled with elitist assholes. I was only 14-15 years old at the time and came out of the bus near the church (weekday), and an elderly woman who had polio was exhausted because of the sun. I had no phone, so I walked over to the church figuring they could let us use the phone to call an ambulance or taxi. At the door they said we could only use the phone if we were members of the church, fucking idiots. I walked her over to where the youth students meet and 2 of the lead singers were there, so I asked them and they told us no even when I explained to them the woman's condition. I got so fucking angry and told them off screaming. I walked her across the street to a convenience store and a fucking muslim let us use his phone.

 

 

 

And at this other church, there was this man that had autism.

 

On Wednesday's and other times the church served dinner he would sit all by himself, an no one would ever talk to him. I decided to be his friend and spend time with him when the church served.

 

And guess what? He had autism but this man was smart. He memorized the whole bible, could answer any questions, and had studied the bible profusely.

 

But everyone had to gossip and insult me behind my back just for spending time with him. Blah.

 

Fuck, what a disgusting (and sadistic) group of people!! That old lady's LIFE was in jeopardy, and they couldn't be bothered to give enough of a damn to lift a finger to help, all because of their idiotic social club's rules. Heat exhaustion (and worse) isn't something to mess with, and they were playing with fire. I wanna know how the hell those people sleep at night, and I wanna know how they live with themselves. Never mind. They're so fucking careless when push comes to shove, even if it involves a life or death situation.

 

The reason why everyone avoided that autistic guy was b/c he was a threat to their own faith, whether he knew it or not. He was smarter than the whole lot of 'em, and they were intimidated. He knows their own damn bible better than they do, and probably better than the pastor of that hellhole did as well. They could have reached out to him too, but they instead chose to torment him and alienate him. I shouldn't be surprised at any of this. I saw some pretty awful behavior at the churches I visited myself. Churchies are cowards like that.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Fuck, what a disgusting (and sadistic) group of people!! That old lady's LIFE was in jeopardy, and they couldn't be bothered to give enough of a damn to lift a finger to help, all because of their idiotic social club's rules.

 

 

New Beginnings is one of the snobbiest churches I've ever gone to.

 

If you're not white, middle-class+, and are not 100% submissive there is no point in going. All they talk about is money and they have an unhealthy obessession with jewish people.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, what killed my faith was the justification attempts made by Christians in order to clear up all the genocide in the old testament. I remember I was in a debate with this one christian about it and she told me, "Just forget about it. Focus on the good instead of the bad."

 

Forget?!

 

So it's okay to forget when some supposedly "benevolent" creator orders the killing of millions of people and even continues to allow the suppression of women's rights along with slavery and even rape, yet, when we refer back to Hitler orchestrating the killing of all those Jews in the Holocaust, we are immediately disgusted and let him be known forever as an evil tyrant.

 

"It was by the will of god." 
 

Same thing they said to justify the Crusades -- same thing they're saying now.

 

Also, they make heaven seem like a great place to live. Well, actually it is! That is if you're okay with ignoring the fact that millions of people are burning in eternal hellfire just because they wouldn't follow the evil sky fairy you're praising right now.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It all started for me back in the spring when I read Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason."  Ended up burning all my bibles and christian books.  Before that, the eroding started during all the political "hoopla" surrounding the presidential election.  Of course, my methodist church pastor wall all over Facebook with nasty stuff regarding Barack Obama.  It was implied alot that no good christian should vote for any candidate who favored abortion. I had a good friend and her husband who changed their political party affiliation just on that alone. Anyway, it all boiled down to this past July when our pastor had a special sunday school class on the methodist church's stand on homosexuality.  I decided to attend and check it out.  He gave chapter and verse condemning the practice and I noticed alot of "bobble heads" in the audience.  He pointed out that in the OT (don't remember chapter of verse) God had allowed a man to have lots of wives.  To that our pastor said:  "Now, you don't have to do everything that the bible says to do."  HUH???  Then he went to the favorite homophobic verses in the book of Romans and kept saying:  "I THINK it says this......and that...." Why would I believe in what he THINKS the bible says??  And the "bobble heads" were still bobbling......That was the last time I went to church.  My husband was already out over the bible teaching of God killing huge amounts of people and contradicting his commands not to. 

 

Since then I have been reading ALOT about bible contradictions.  I had studied the bible inside and out over the past 40 years and, yes, I had some qualms about things I read but I would just push them away because I was told that doubts were just satan tempting me and I needed to be strong in the faith......BS!!! This all makes me mad as hell for wasting all those years believing a lie.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It all started for me back in the spring when I read Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason."  Ended up burning all my bibles and christian books.  Before that, the eroding started during all the political "hoopla" surrounding the presidential election.  Of course, my methodist church pastor wall all over Facebook with nasty stuff regarding Barack Obama.  It was implied alot that no good christian should vote for any candidate who favored abortion. I had a good friend and her husband who changed their political party affiliation just on that alone. Anyway, it all boiled down to this past July when our pastor had a special sunday school class on the methodist church's stand on homosexuality.  I decided to attend and check it out.  He gave chapter and verse condemning the practice and I noticed alot of "bobble heads" in the audience.  He pointed out that in the OT (don't remember chapter of verse) God had allowed a man to have lots of wives.  To that our pastor said:  "Now, you don't have to do everything that the bible says to do."  HUH???  Then he went to the favorite homophobic verses in the book of Romans and kept saying:  "I THINK it says this......and that...." Why would I believe in what he THINKS the bible says??  And the "bobble heads" were still bobbling......That was the last time I went to church.  My husband was already out over the bible teaching of God killing huge amounts of people and contradicting his commands not to. 

 

Since then I have been reading ALOT about bible contradictions.  I had studied the bible inside and out over the past 40 years and, yes, I had some qualms about things I read but I would just push them away because I was told that doubts were just satan tempting me and I needed to be strong in the faith......BS!!! This all makes me mad as hell for wasting all those years believing a lie.

 

Greetings, and thanks for sharing. In addition to the contradictions and injustices, another important factor that opened my eyes was when I studied the Christological prophecies and noticed how the New Testament was loaded with alleged prophetic fulfillments that were clearly fabricated by taking Old Testament verses completely out of context.

 

You may find the letter I sent my parents to be interesting. You can download it from post #13 in the thread linked in my signature. It's 49 pages long, and the vast majority of it deals with problems with the Bible, including contradictions, fabricated prophetic fulfillments, other prophecy problems, injustices and absurdities. It also deals some with how many standard apologetics "reconciliations" don't really work. Writing it was a major undertaking, but it was good for me to put my thoughts down clearly and categorically.

 

Anyway, congratulations on breaking free! Enjoy the journey ahead of you....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It gelled for me while in class at Moody studying Revelation, oddly enough. Of course, a lot of groundwork had preceded that moment, but I remember thinking to myself, "So this really IS all bullshit!"

 

Wow, you actually went to Moody Bible Institute?

 

It does seem that Seminary school is the worst place parents can send their children if they want them to remain literal Bible believers. The future of Christianity in America is either in fundamentalist enclaves where they ignore all literature that doesn't affirm fundamentalism, or in marketing/PR schools where they teach you how to be like Joel Osteen. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It all started for me back in the spring when I read Thomas Paine's "Age of Reason."  Ended up burning all my bibles and christian books.  Before that, the eroding started during all the political "hoopla" surrounding the presidential election.  Of course, my methodist church pastor wall all over Facebook with nasty stuff regarding Barack Obama.  It was implied alot that no good christian should vote for any candidate who favored abortion. I had a good friend and her husband who changed their political party affiliation just on that alone. Anyway, it all boiled down to this past July when our pastor had a special sunday school class on the methodist church's stand on homosexuality.  I decided to attend and check it out.  He gave chapter and verse condemning the practice and I noticed alot of "bobble heads" in the audience.  He pointed out that in the OT (don't remember chapter of verse) God had allowed a man to have lots of wives.  To that our pastor said:  "Now, you don't have to do everything that the bible says to do."  HUH???  Then he went to the favorite homophobic verses in the book of Romans and kept saying:  "I THINK it says this......and that...." Why would I believe in what he THINKS the bible says??  And the "bobble heads" were still bobbling......That was the last time I went to church.  My husband was already out over the bible teaching of God killing huge amounts of people and contradicting his commands not to. 

 

Since then I have been reading ALOT about bible contradictions.  I had studied the bible inside and out over the past 40 years and, yes, I had some qualms about things I read but I would just push them away because I was told that doubts were just satan tempting me and I needed to be strong in the faith......BS!!! This all makes me mad as hell for wasting all those years believing a lie.

 

Bobble heads. LOL. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

It gelled for me while in class at Moody studying Revelation, oddly enough. Of course, a lot of groundwork had preceded that moment, but I remember thinking to myself, "So this really IS all bullshit!"

 

Wow, you actually went to Moody Bible Institute?

 

It does seem that Seminary school is the worst place parents can send their children if they want them to remain literal Bible believers. The future of Christianity in America is either in fundamentalist enclaves where they ignore all literature that doesn't affirm fundamentalism, or in marketing/PR schools where they teach you how to be like Joel Osteen. 

 

I am the only person out of my seminary graduating class who has completely deconverted (that I know of).  Others have become more moderate or switched denominations though.  Why is this exactly?  Hard to say.  Probably a combination of curiosity and personality factors I suppose...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

Something just hit me like ton of bricks. One of the last things that ended my faith for good was the movie, 'The passion of the Christ'.

I actually went to that movie with a friend to see if the movie could impact my faith and revive it somehow. (which was almost at zero) Everyone was talking about it so much and how they're faith had grown because of how jesus took  being turned into a human skin bag. I got up and left I was so disgusted in the violence..... and my girly crush on Mel Gibson ended forever.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The irrationality of apologetic arguments towards what should be very easy questions if their faith was true is what led my initial decision to give up on Christianity. I was always a sort of an agnostic christian growing up and always had doubts, so when I found that the answers to my doubts were rot with bad logic I decided it was time to leave.

 

But as for what killed any hint of faith or chance I had of ever being a Christian for good? Evidence. There are piles of supernatural claims made by Christianity and not one shred of verifiable proof. Every time an apologist claims to have evidence for Christianity, it turns out to be some form of woo. Guaran-fucking-teed every single time without fucking fail, honest scientific inquiry into what they are trying to pass off as evidence always reveals it to be woo.

 

Here we have a religion which claims that everyone who doesn't subscribe to their faith deserves to go to hell by decree of their "all loving" God ...yet they can't fucking prove it, and that my friends is bullshit. Pure, unwavering, undeniable, complete and utter bullshit.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Something just hit me like ton of bricks. One of the last things that ended my faith for good was the movie, 'The passion of the Christ'.

I actually went to that movie with a friend to see if the movie could impact my faith and revive it somehow. (which was almost at zero) Everyone was talking about it so much and how they're faith had grown because of how jesus took  being turned into a human skin bag. I got up and left I was so disgusted in the violence..... and my girly crush on Mel Gibson ended forever.

Unbelievable. That people need a melodramatic Hollywood movie to affirm their faith is ridiculous. They knew that the guy playing Jeezus wasn't the actual holy zombie, right? And the creature with the hood wasn't really Satan?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Something just hit me like ton of bricks. One of the last things that ended my faith for good was the movie, 'The passion of the Christ'.

I actually went to that movie with a friend to see if the movie could impact my faith and revive it somehow. (which was almost at zero) Everyone was talking about it so much and how they're faith had grown because of how jesus took  being turned into a human skin bag. I got up and left I was so disgusted in the violence..... and my girly crush on Mel Gibson ended forever.

Like you I was put-off by the "Passion" film in many ways.  It came out when I was a teenager and starting to question the things I had been taught.  I thought seeing the movie would make me "a real Christian."  Well, no.  It was a very moving film certainly pushes the emotions to the limit.  The torture was impossible to watch.  A few years after seeing the film I started reading the actual gospels expecting an "encounter" with the Jesus I'd seen portrayed in the movie, and shockingly found the Jesus of the gospels night-and-day different from the Jesus in the Passion.  Jesus in the gospels is harsh, scary, demanding.  Calling people "snakes" and asking them how they are possibly going to escape the fires of hell.  Jesus in the Passion movie seemed to be a whole different temperament, easy to love, handsome, very mild and loving man, never said any of the downright horrifying threats that Jesus of the bible said.   It would be extremely easy to convert to Christianity based on the Passion movie alone but when delving into the actual scriptures you are going to see something else.  I just would consider them two whole different religions so if you convert to the Jesus of the Passion film, I don't think that is equal to converting to the Jesus in the bible.  In the end neither the film or the bible made a Christian out of me. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me, it had nothing to do with contradictions in the bible, nor was it people. I just told myself, "I'm not growing from this." I wasn't getting anywhere. My beliefs held me back from a lot, so I didn't want anything to do with it anymore.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I am new here and for the past few days I have been taking a serious look at my faith. a little bit of background: I was raised christian my whole life, I always had questions, esp the fact that only jesus saves, yet there are millions of people and whole generations and lands full of people who never heard of jesus. I never got an answer for this question from any spiritual leader. what did it for me, the defining moment of me saying that this is complete BS is I got a job doing childcare at a church that wasn't my 'home' church. this being said I would work Sunday mornings Wednesday evenings. my parents informed my youth pastors that i had a job and would be coming in late to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, however my youth pastors decided to tell lies about me to the rest of the youth and church basically saying I was out there doing drugs and all sorts of nonsense when I was at another church! If that wasn't bad enough (I was 16 BTW ..)I got called into a pastoral meeting with the senior pastor at the church,( I had been going to that church since I was 3 yrs old mind you) and he told my parents that I was not coming to church because I was sinning. my parents explained that they let to YP know that i ha a job. when the pastor asked me where I worked i told him the name of the other church. this pastor who I had known my WHOLE life, who I was raised to respect and believe to be a man of god looked me straight in my eyes and told me " maybe you should just go to that church from now on since you cant keep the schedule of this church" I was devastated. not only had my youth pastors been spreading vicious lies and rumors about me, my senior pastor just basically told me to get out of his church-yet expected my parents to still go every week. now everyone knows you associate your place of worship as a second home and family, and a job just wont change that. I never went back to church after that. however I was hurt again by the fact that my parents still went faithfully every week... and my family is a WHOLE other issue in itself!! but that was the turning point for me. If pastors who are supposed to lead in love and be the example of christ then I wanted nothing to do with it. ( I'm 26 now so its taken me quite a while to get to this point-mainly because I didn't dwell on it but as more realizations came to me well I'm on a journey that led me right here to this site yellow.gif )

Do you want to know how my Pentecostal church dealt with that question? That Jesus was not going to return until EVERYONE on the planet had heard the Gospel. Of course that never answered the question about all those people who die without hearing the Gospel in the interim.

 

*I only capitalize certain words because otherwise I get that squiggly red line that tells me I've spelled it wrong. I can't help it. I can't have squiggly red lines. It doesn't sit well with my mind.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

*I only capitalize certain words because otherwise I get that squiggly red line that tells me I've spelled it wrong. I can't help it. I can't have squiggly red lines. It doesn't sit well with my mind.

 

 

When you get the squiggly red line, just right click on it and then click "Add to Dictionary." From then on out you won't get the squiggly red line anymore. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

*I only capitalize certain words because otherwise I get that squiggly red line that tells me I've spelled it wrong. I can't help it. I can't have squiggly red lines. It doesn't sit well with my mind.

 

 

When you get the squiggly red line, just right click on it and then click "Add to Dictionary." From then on out you won't get the squiggly red line anymore. wink.png

 

Sweet! I didn't know that. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The mind games that god supposedly plays with me, and everyone else on the planet. The mind games that "good Christians" play with me, and everyone else on the planet. The mind games that I should be playing with everyone else.

 

These mind games are broadly called "faith"... Meaning twisting of evidence and scriptures, reconciling inconsistencies in the good ol' Babble, downplaying the tribal part, not acknowledging that religion has a progression or evolution (instead our understanding just changed hence we are fallible and wrong). Have enough faith (and in my case apply a good dose of god damn paranoia) and you get a very simple, bleak world. A bleak world devoid of any real meaning, where we are expected to apply huge amounts of faith in things and kill our intuition and intellect almost completely. To forget what is in this world and trust on something, that is manipulative, and very far away.

 

Like a hamster cage built for the amusement and orgasm-inducing enjoyment of some cosmic being. His followers get off, too, on their faith-elitism.

 

I am sorry for these harsh words.

 

I just can't.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Coming across two Christian websites which revealed that Paul was not a genuine apostle - that he contradicts Jesus, and that basically millions of people will go to hell because they love and follow Paul more than they follow Jesus (you cannot serve two masters).   

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.