More Than A Little Confused

[TrueFreedom]

 

I wonder why it's so common. What issues does someone have that makes them want to burn down their friendships? This is just so foreign to my nature of how I could treat another human, I just can't wrap my mind around it.

 

Depression and self-loathing can do it to you. Natural or chemically induced paranoia can make it more likely.

[ShackledNoMore]

I wonder why it's so common. What issues does someone have that makes them want to burn down their friendships? This is just so foreign to my nature of how I could treat another human, I just can't wrap my mind around it.

 

I don't know. I think some people tend to assume there is a thoughtless or unsavory intent over some trifle or another that we, or a dispassionate observer would consider completely innocuous, and they usually will not be very communicative about it. I also expect that that only some people tend to do this, and they've inexplicably (to the friend) dropped a number of friendships, so it seems shitty and bizarre to the rest of us. I know, sounds almost like a trivial description of the situation with your friend, but I think this same thing has played out many times, with many pairs of people.

 

Perhaps in some cases, for whatever reason, some people decide that the friendship does not provide what they are looking for and they don't have the social conscious to not be a dick about it.

 

Although it doesn't explain Margee's cousin, this sort of thing seems more likely to me to happen with someone you've known only a few months or a few years rather than tried and true decades old friends. (However, people do change and evolve over time, so I guess you could develop into a friend-chucker over the years.)

 

When I look back on things like these, I tend to frame it something like this: if the person trashed a friendship in a manner such is this, then it is a good indicator that it wasn't such a great loss after all.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

From experience, sometimes its hard to believe that people have good intentions. Especially when what you are used to are malintent and being hurt. Then, to shield yourself from further hurt, you end good things in your life that are going so good, too good even, to prevent disappointment, that disappointment you've been fighting your fears of the whole time. It was a vicious cycle for me, and I'm still trying to completely break free from it.