Getting More Comfortable

[sarahlee]

It's been about 5 months (I know, 5 whole months!) since I finally admitted to myself that I didn't believe anymore. At first, I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt really lost without religion, and I didn't have anyone to talk to or connect to.

Then I found this site, and you wonderful people, and I saw that there was like after the cult!

 

I feel like I'm finally getting comfortable with not believing. I've even had the nerve of standing up to my family when they talk about homosexuality or Muslims (Who, of course, are all terrorists ). I even admitted to my brother today that I'm seriously considering getting a tattoo, which suprised him to no end.

 

Was there a point in which you all have felt comfortable in your nonbelief?

[RedStar]

I've felt more comfortable with it in the last couple of months, I've changed my religious views on facebook to agnostic and I'm not scares to debate Christians on there. I don't go look for fights or try to start them, but if someone is saying something that deserves to be adressed I'll say something.

 

I debate people about gays because my brother is one, I'm sick to death of people's ignorance and denial of facts they don't like, I won't put up with it, and I challenge them on their god's 'morality' when they say god says it's an 'abomination'. I post all the horrible things from the bible that people like to pretend aren't there, things like ordering children to be murdered and such.

 

It took some months of me not believing in the bible anymore before I was comfortable making my views public, I worried for a while about what the Christian friends I have on facebook would think but now I don't care anymore, it's fine for them to post their views so why shouldn't I be able to do the same?

[Edie]

Yes, I'd say that when I first read about Humanism I started to feel comfortable in my beliefs, because I'd found a name for them. It shouldn't be important to be able to define and label everything, but I found it helpful to learn that other people shared my beliefs.

 

That was about 3 years ago and in that time I have also suffered the loss of my brother, sonething that really confirmed to me my total lack of belief in anything spiritual, and that I was confortable in those beliefs.

 

Having talked a little with my mum, I learned that she also was frustrated with the spiritual emphasis on bereavement support. It's helped both of us feel less alone with our unbelief, and is probably something I should do more often.

[Margee]

Hi Saralee! I'm so happy to hear how comfortable you are already!! You go girl!!

 

It has actually takes YEARS for me to deconvert. What I am realizing right now (especially in the past few months ) is the REAL Margee is immerging. I have never been more content. It took me a long time.

 

I actually realize now that all the 'burnt- outness' was from all my hard work over the years to please bible god and all the world. I feel as if I finally know who I am... finally. When you walk around your whole life in 'cognitive dissonance '..it can make you pretty crazy.

 

Everyday, I am more confident to be the real me and it is the most wonderful feeling. Some don't like it.....but I really (deep down) don't care. I really don't. I will remain respectful to all... but I will not be a complete phoney anymore and that's what I've been my whole life..... without even knowing it.

 

You take that confidence in yourself and run with it my friend!! Don't be afraid to be who you really are!!

[sarahlee]

I debate people about gays because my brother is one, I'm sick to death of people's ignorance and denial of facts they don't like, I won't put up with it, and I challenge them on their god's 'morality' when they say god says it's an 'abomination'. I post all the horrible things from the bible that people like to pretend aren't there, things like ordering children to be murdered and such.

I've heard the Xian complaint that nonbelievers always nitpick from the OT to prove god's wrath but ignore the NT which proves god's love and forgiveness blahblahblah. However, the main proclomation against homosexuality is in the OT, and Jesus doesn't even discuss the topic. How nit-picky is it to ignore Jesus' speil on forgiveness of "sins" and focus on a couple versus from the OT?

[TallMike]

Way to go! And kudos to standing up to those around you for what's right. People can easily ignore/dismiss/demonize things that are far away from them, but when they actually befriend someone who is gay, or when someone they love and respect defends non-terrorist Muslims, that's when things can change.

 

It's been about 5 months (I know, 5 whole months!) since I finally admitted to myself that I didn't believe anymore. At first, I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt really lost without religion, and I didn't have anyone to talk to or connect to.

 

It's been about 7 months for me, and I can relate. People told me it would take a long time for things to seem normal again, and that's so true. Even today I sometimes feel lost, wanting "something transcendent" on which to ground the meaning of my life. Hanging out with non-Christians, and reflecting on what drives *their* lives (see the great quotes thread) helps a lot, but it'll probably be a couple years before I'm totally comfortable in my new skin.

[RedStar]

I've heard the Xian complaint that nonbelievers always nitpick from the OT to prove god's wrath but ignore the NT which proves god's love and forgiveness blahblahblah. However, the main proclomation against homosexuality is in the OT, and Jesus doesn't even discuss the topic. How nit-picky is it to ignore Jesus' speil on forgiveness of "sins" and focus on a couple versus from the OT?

 

Exactly. Plus, I don't think the NT proves love or forgiveness on God's behalf. Telling people they'll burn in hell forever for not believing and doing as he says isn't love, and it's clear he can't forgive well either, otherwise he wouldn't have needed to kill his own son (which is also himself) to 'forgive' people for things, many of which wouldn't be things that would offend a mature being who was capable of respecting people's personal lives/thoughts/actions and beliefs. The bible says people are to forgive even if those who wrong them never apologise and aren't sorry but God can't do the same, even though he's supposed to be perfect. My 2nd cousin asked his mother a simple logical question when he was 5 years old: "why won't God forgive Satan?" If a 5 year old can pick up that something is wrong here why can't an adult? I think their bias and fear gets in the way of asking these questions.

 

The Christians like to focus on what they think makes God look loving and forgiving, but this requires them to forget the old testament, and all that was supposedly said and done by God in there shouldn't be ignored, what if for example, Joseph Kony decided to be a decent person and did so for years. I bet nobody would forget about all the evil done in the past just because he behaved himself for a few years. Also, since the bible says that God is the same yesterday, today and forever it would be foolish to deny that he had changed. If he had how could he be perfect? Perfection doesn't have to change to better its temperament or behaviour. If he's still the same as their bible indicates, why wouldn't he still do the same mass killings of people as done in the OT? If the death of Jesus happened so that things like that could stop then why wasn't it done sooner instead of waiting thousands of years? Why not offer the 'solution' immediately? Did God just spend all those years dishing out anger against people before he got over it and decided he wanted to be friends again? I don't understand why there are so many things the Christian God would find offensive anyway, thought crimes, feeling the normal biological lust for another... makes no sense to me. If he hadn't been so uptight in the first place, or didn't play with Adam and Eve's lives when he knew what would happen he could have had what he wanted, but acted like a psychopath with the emotional maturity of a 3 year old instead.