How Studying The Bible And Being A Very Good Girl Led Me Away From Chritianity

[Anat]

Man, you guys are seriously awesome. Sorry for disappearing from this topic for a couple of days! I could blame life and work, but let's be real....Mr. Anat and I started watching Merlin and I got hooked.

 

Silentknight- I have also seen a ton of opposition to gender equality/women priests/etc from women. The only way I can possibly understand it is that when you're told your entire life that you must be one thing (subservient wife/mother), you attach your whole being into becoming that thing. When you're later told that, hey, maybe god is cool with you having more responsibility, it's scary and women resist it. I don't know. I do know that when I did my undergraduate thesis on YHWH as a mother in Hosea 11, female opposition was at least equal to male opposition.

 

Kaiser01- Ha, I don't know if I would call myself an actual Biblical scholar, but I do know a bit about it! I think that it would be super fun to do a sort of "Biblical Contradictions, Controversies and Problems" post every week or so. It would get me to start writing for fun and actually using my education again, which I've been meaning to do. What sort of thing would people be interested in reading about specifically? I've done a bit of research about YHWH/God as feminine, misuse of certain OT verses as advocating against abortion/homosexuality, Christian Hell vs Hebrew Sheol, etc.

[♦ ficino ♦]

 

 

Ficino- Please do! I've been observing some of his conversations and will probably jump in at some point. Maybe it will give me a chance to brush off my Hebrew lexicon!

 

Come on over to that thread where we're debating the significance of I Cor. 15 for the empty tomb arguments.

[Guest anuway]

Be glad that you have been lead away from Christianity! You no longer have to live by Christian morals, now you can have sex without feeling guitly. No more hiding. No more lying. I hated going to church. You may want to look into Tarot cards, witchcraft and the occult. I have found them to be very fulfilling.They go against Chrisitanity and that holds some sort of appeal to me. Try to craft yourself to become a person who is the exact opposite of Christianity. Go out there and be a bad !

[★ Citsonga ★]

Be glad that you have been lead away from Christianity! You no longer have to live by Christian morals, now you can have sex without feeling guitly. No more hiding. No more lying. I hated going to church. You may want to look into Tarot cards, witchcraft and the occult. I have found them to be very fulfilling.They go against Chrisitanity and that holds some sort of appeal to me. Try to craft yourself to become a person who is the exact opposite of Christianity. Go out there and be a bad !

 

That's simply rebellion, which is quite the opposite of the rational approach that Anat has described and others of us have experienced.

[silentknight]

The deeper a person was in the more rebellion they might find necessary at first..but eventually I think most people level out to nice comfortable "normal"

[★ Citsonga ★]

The deeper a person was in the more rebellion they might find necessary at first..but eventually I think most people level out to nice comfortable "normal"

 

Maybe for some. I was in as deep as anyone could be, and I never had a sense of rebellion. All I cared about was truth, and the fact that I was so deep into the religion is precisely why I put the effort into it that eventually led me to the realization that it's not true.

 

My previous comment, though, was also based on my suspicion of anuway's motives. Considering that it was his first post and he commented simply about rebellion in addressing someone in a thread that has shown no signs of being based on rebellion, it left me wondering if he was being serious or if he was mocking skeptics or if he's just trolling. I don't know, but I wonder.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

Anat, thanks for posting your story!

 

Then two thoughts came to my mind. 1) How can I believe in a God who is less kind and just than humans are? and 2) If I'm having to work this hard to defend the concept of God and Christianity and to suspend this belief in my mind, maybe this belief isn't worth having.

 

Both of these were big keys to the reasons I left, too. For me the whole concept of hell brought to mind the question you pose in #1, and for me #2 could be seen clearly when I compared fundamentalist Christian group tactics to those of authoritarian groups (aka "cults").

 

I am so angry. But I don't want to be. So here I am to blow off steam and read other Ex-Christians' experiences and to rebuild my philosophy for living.

Perfectly understandable.

I've found that the anger comes and goes in waves, but dissipates over time, and even years later it is possible for anger to be triggered again by some issue that comes up. One of the things that helped me to step back from it was to take an anthropology of religion class where we did some participant observation. I got better about being able to observe and understand without taking things personally. It even helped me to appreciate what others found in the belief even though I disagreed with it, myself.

 

Some things that get into issues that were more personal for me can still really get to me, though.

 

Glad to hear your out, and so an exiting story too. You know, i would be interested, of you would, if you could possibly start a topic expressing some of the miss translations and discrepancies between the English bible and the Hebrew text. I know quite a few but it would be interesting to get it from a proffesional biblical scholar.

I'd be very interested in this, too.

[silentknight]

Maybe for some. I was in as deep as anyone could be, and I never had a sense of rebellion. All I cared about was truth, and the fact that I was so deep into the religion is precisely why I put the effort into it that eventually led me to the realization that it's not true.

 

My previous comment, though, was also based on my suspicion of anuway's motives. Considering that it was his first post and he commented simply about rebellion in addressing someone in a thread that has shown no signs of being based on rebellion, it left me wondering if he was being serious or if he was mocking skeptics or if he's just trolling. I don't know, but I wonder.

 

I agree, I'm suggesting that Anuway is probably feeling a lot of anger at being "duped" most of his life, and is expressing it in a troll/rebellious way... if he's not JUST a troll.

[Guest anuway]

I think that it is not just a matter of "coming home" that is the issue here. I think it mean an entire lifestyle and a complete overhaul of ones mind body and soul. My reading of the Bible pushes me away from Christ and leads me to, if you want to say it, the devil. He assures me that I am ok not being a Christian, and even if i missed Heaven I would be absolutely miserable there. My instincts and desires have changed totally. When I used to go to Church it was all an act. But churning in my mind were thoughts like " I want to think for myself" Everyone thought I was the good Christian guy so they treated me that way. I did not have sex until I got married the first time and that lasted 3 years due to the fact that I no longer wanted to attend church.

 

I know people who are so enamored with studying the Bible that quoting from it is what they do at breakfast for their early morning ritual. I can't do that. It is not me. I trust the Christian god it has let me down too many times and looking at the state of the world just confirms that.

 

Be glad that you were led away from Christianity! Now enjoy your life. Find a set of beliefs that allow you to be who you are not what someone else wants you to be. Then there is the whole question as to why would we not want to be like Jesus? He was so loving and kind to people. Well the answer lays within the Bible as a whole.. The Bible was written a long time ago and has lost any relevance at all. The Bible was put together as sort of a compilation by many people and many organizations. That is another reason I cant believe in the Bible.

 

I was the very good boy in church and at church school. But something deep inside of me was pulling me the other way. Call is Satan if you will. I do believe in the Christian god I just find more fulfillment in following the opposite side of things. That does not make me a bad person., and as My mind is very open now and I can see divergent views. The Bible is good for toilet paper. But does nothing for my basic animal needs like lust, greed,sexual immorality, pleasure, I am willing to give new beliefs a try. I find them very very interesting. Replace the Bible with getting yourself a pack of Tarot cards, a book on the occult, or witchcraft,. These are far more exciting and sexually stimulating than the Bible. The occult actually works, I have never seen the Bible actually work. Oh I take that back it works on destroying people's lives. I can think for myself now and that is wonderful. And yet I am not alone. I have my new God, I have my Guardian Guide, fallen angels and demons, and spirits from the dead who guide me. My grandmother guides me and is every present, and my dear mother just died suddenly on the 4th of this month(September). It was a terrible event but I know she is right here beside me now. You think God gives a damn to come and comfort me, hardly. I am happy to say that I am glad that I found this group. I was alone in my thinking prior to finding you guys. I still have people from church "praying " for me. They try so hard to get me to come back to church. But once you are enlightened and have seen behind the curtain and realizing that it is an old man pretending to be the Wizard of Oz and his spoke screen nothing else matters but getting as far away from Christianity as is possible, I try my best to get Christians to question their beliefs.

[★ Citsonga ★]

Anuway, thanks for further clarifying what you meant. It still seems a bit odd to me personally, though. You say studying the Bible pushed you toward Satan, and you say that you still believe in the Christian God while you're enlightened and compare it to the old man in Wizard of Oz. As to the former, studying the Bible led me to realize that Satan is a myth, and I can't exactly be pushed toward a myth. As to the latter, it seems contradictory to suggest that the God is true while being a smokescreen. As for myself, I was sincere as a believer, and I'm sincere now as a nonbeliever. I'm not driven by an attitude of rebellion, but an honest quest for truth. Whatever floats your boat, I guess, but your position makes zero sense to me.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

Hi Anuway,

 

I've known some other Satanists, have read some literature about the philosophy, and I think I get where you're coming from. If that works for you, great.

 

I guess that, like you, I like to question, and to get others to question.

I sorta wonder why you've continued to believe the basic ideology of Christianity - i.e. that there are warring, dualistic, and rather simplistic powers of "good" vs. "evil" -- or the value sets that are labeled as "good" and "evil" according to the Christian view of things, anyway. It seems like there is more in that worldview to question than just "whose side to be on."

 

Just my opinion.

[3DollarBill]

Your story is only "old hat" because actually reading the bible is, without a doubt, the quickest and easiest path to atheism and a great many of us have traveled that road. You find that you were spoon fed the nice parts and that this "holy" book you so revered is in actuality filled mostly with mindless absurdity and unfathomable cruelty.

 

Welcome to the real world.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

Anat, you sound like me, "suspending faith", though I said that to myself leaving paganism, and it was an issue I had with selfhonesty. I didn't want to let go of religion for sentimental reasons, I held onto it for like 6 years after being a bible believer no longer worked for me. I too grew up baptist fundamentalist, but the Independant type. I read the bible every night. I was only told to read a chapter, but I'd read more. The more I read, the more problems I saw. Then, when I decided to start reading in the original language of the old testament, my faith couldn't last very long after that. And it didn't.

 

I love ancient near eastern mythology and history too! I bet when you started to learn about it, it sounded familiar didn't it? Almost like you heard the ancient near eastern stories before somewhere else.

[★ Citsonga ★]

Hi Anuway,

 

I've known some other Satanists, have read some literature about the philosophy, and I think I get where you're coming from. If that works for you, great.

 

I guess that, like you, I like to question, and to get others to question.

I sorta wonder why you've continued to believe the basic ideology of Christianity - i.e. that there are warring, dualistic, and rather simplistic powers of "good" vs. "evil" -- or the value sets that are labeled as "good" and "evil" according to the Christian view of things, anyway. It seems like there is more in that worldview to question than just "whose side to be on."

 

Just my opinion.

 

I was of the impression that most "Satanists" don't really believe in the spiritual stuff, but are nonbelievers mocking religion. Is that the way you perceive it from those you've known, or am I off on that?

[MultifariousBirdLady]

I was of the impression that most "Satanists" don't really believe in the spiritual stuff, but are nonbelievers mocking religion. Is that the way you perceive it from those you've known, or am I off on that?

 

I've seen and read literature from both. There is a website here that details some of the different forms Satanism can take. Also, it's not always completely either-or WRT belief. Someone can "believe in the spiritual stuff" in the sense of believing that the rituals work and the iconography effectively keys into deep cultural, psychological, and even natural forces without believing that there is some literal living spiritual being out there calling himself Satan.

 

The person I knew best who was into it eventually left that faith for another one (worship of Krishna). Since he knew I liked religious studies, he gave me a box full of his old books, about a third of which were written by Anton LaVey. The others were mostly a mixture of investigations into modern and historical ideas about Satan and Satanism which varied a lot in their scholarship and sensationalism.