"Leaving God"

[SweetSouthernHeretic]

I'll try to keep this short (hah!) because my physical and emotional departure from organized Christianity transpired slightly over a decade ago.

 

Born into conservative Catholic family. Attended parochial school K-9. Among other things, lived my preteen years scared to death of UFOs and becoming possessed by the Devil. Catholicism is creepy (IMO).

 

Catholic Father passes away and mother returns to "independent Baptist" Fundamentalism, moves family across country. Sends me to famous Fundamentalist high school and college (five years total). Among other things, found it odd that these particular Christians were so focused on debate team and Radio/TV broadcasting. (Finally figured that out in 2000.) These Fundies are also cliquish "to the max"--children of faculty members and children of rich conservatives receive all perks the school has to offer. (While I'm not one of the most popular kids, I'm not a pariah, either. I find a niche and "get by" via my unremarkableness.)

 

After college, drifted for 5-6 yars, not attending church, not thinking about spiritual issues, partying a lot.

 

Was then recruited into, and joined, a "Bible-based cult"--doctrine was fairly orthodox (branch of Campbell-Stone movement), but psychologically coercive and manipulative group. Spent 5 years accepting their mind-f**k.

 

After those 5 years, said to myself, "ok, if I'm going to hell, so be it--this is bulls**t" and left the cult.

 

Then the Universe opened before me and I received enlightenment. I consider myself an "eclectic Theist" these days. Tried neo-paganism for a while (Wicca, Druidism)--all respect to those folks, I enjoy their company FAR more than that of the Christian Fundies--but changing "He" god to "She" goddess didn't resolve my general angst about the nature of a Higher Power. (I know that is an oversimplification of Paganism, but that's what's at the root of my "paganism" dilemma).

 

I haven't confessed to being an "ex-Christian" to anyone in my family. My feelings about Christianity are complicated. I guess I consider Jesus a "moral teacher," which is of course an unacceptable position to most Christians where I live.

 

The Christian Right is very prominent in my part of the South. They seem like they're far more about the OLD Testament than the New, and why should I entrust my spirit to such a duplicitous bunch, i.e., "nice" Jesus being their front man for "jerk" Jehovah? Where are the accountability and "consequences" for Fundamentalist Calvinists, who believe that "God" will forgive them, no matter what horrible things they do (e.g., stealing away civil rights, torturing prisoners, killing unbelievers, etc.)? Have to say I've gained a lot of respect for Jewish folks, who (to me, anyway) don't seem afraid to question the all-too-human nature of their god Jehovah. They're far more honest, in their way, than the "Christian Right" will ever be.

 

I think the Bible contains some bits of wisdom--but I don't buy the "completely inspired and infallible" thing anymore. I discovered that some Bible "values" (e.g., stealing peoples' land, taking slaves, etc.) were not actually MY values. LOL, no wonder some Christians are afraid of "values clarification." Not much about Christianity stands up to intense, unbiased study (yes, I know, that's why they call it "faith"--but Jehovah's lack of consistency is still very disturbing.)

 

I'm still on "The Journey," traveling toward something, I'm not sure what. I'm very drawn to Theravada Buddhism and Taoism--among other things, I like the idea of not having to assign a gender to my Higher Power--it seems less "idolatrous," if that makes sense (it does to me).

[Taphophilia]

Wow, Catholic school and Fundy school. You need one of those T-Shirts that says "I survived it all."

 

Welcome

 

Taph

[knowmad]

Yep greets Sweet SH.

Yes I too traumatised both my kids by sending them to a xtian school.

And don't ya just get angry when ya realise you've been duped by religion.

And how good it feels to be finally free.

[Checkmate]

They seem like they're far more about the OLD Testament than the New, and why should I entrust my spirit to such a duplicitous bunch, i.e., "nice" Jesus being their front man for "jerk" Jehovah?

(Laughing WITH you, not AT you!)

I love perfect analogies, and yours is great. "Jesus the front man." Excellent. Thank you, SweetSouthern, for adding yet another nail to the Christ coffin. I also had much problems with the mixing of Old and New "wine". Seems like Christians can't quite make up their minds as to what "dispensation" of "God" they're dealing with. They're a bunch of schizophrenic whack-jobs, that's for sure.

 

Anyway, welcome to the Ex-C forums!

[MQTA]

Welcome

[duderonomy]

Dear SSH...

 

Have you considered that you may be still finding some way to rationalize your beliefs?

 

Or trying to?

 

It's not your fault! If Jesus was God, then I guess it was His decision to 'hang on the Cross'.

Why is that our fault...like we did something wrong? We are the little prols and helpless sinners, after all. He created the whole universe, including us, the Devil, and the very tree that He, God, was nailed to.

 

That would have been 2000+ years ago. Why do you feel responsible for what God did so long ago?

 

I realize that because of your education you are much more learned than I, but still...

 

The Holy Spirit isn't in our heads, He's in our hearts, if He's anywhere!

 

As for Jesus being a 'Moral Teacher'... well, you have to decide that. I'd say give it up. Anyone who claimed to be God (who wants all men to be saved), and yet spoke in parables on purpose so that some wouldn't understand, and thereby 'be saved', isn't someone that I could trust to inspire my Bible, and at the same time die for my sins. What if He was just talking shit to me too? Biblically speaking, that is...

 

Jesus is either a 'Moral Teacher', or the whole thing is a fabrication.

 

Moral, my ass.

 

And as for the churches, Pentecostal, Baptist, or Christian Reformed, I've found them all in my life to be powerless, hopeless, and as unsound as the Bible itself.

 

But that's just me.

[MQTA]

the anon author of Matthew, and of John, show clearly it's all constructed BS. POCM shows all he Pagan Origins of the Christian Myth.

 

Lots to read at that site... goes on and on. fascinating! read every page by hitting the Next button. Took a few days and naps

[All Gods Fail]

Hiya SSH!

 

Come in and sit down, you poor thing! You must be tired - Catholic + fundy school plus a cult!

 

Anyway, welcome and relax. You found a great place for non-believers: agnostics, pagans, atheists, and assorted infidels alike.

[♦ ficino ♦]

Great testimony, SSH. Welcome to this site. I haven't been in the deep South much, but people talk about lots of non-religious normal folks as being down there, so I hope you find or already found a supportive network of people.

[♦ nivek ♦]

Welcome SSH,

 

You've found your way to a place where things can make a bit more sense and the waves of religion can be to settle down.

 

ExC has a wide and deep group of people who are fellow survivors from religious bullshit.

 

Enjoy your on.line and on.ass time here in the Forums. Poke around, take a look at the wealth of information that is availble.

 

kevinL

[Amethyst]

Welcome! I went to a fundy Lutheran school for 6 years, so I can relate.

 

I would suggest reading as much as you can about other religions and philosophies. That helped me a lot.

[trashy]

Welcome SSH.

 

While you are questioning the inspired and/or infallible nature of scripture don't be too timid to go ahead and question the factual validity of the underlying story, i.e., the existence of a historical Jesus and God and an ancient Jewish nation, etc. It's fun!

[Curtdude]

Welcome SweetSH!

 

Enjoy the wide range of folks here. Along w/ LeGrinch, I too got a chuckle from the Jesus: the front man for Jehovah the jerk. hehehe.

[SweetSouthernHeretic]

Dear SSH...

 

Have you considered that you may be still finding some way to rationalize your beliefs?

 

Or trying to?

(...snip)

 

Yep. No doubt. Deep down, I'm trying to figure out a way to peacefully coexist with others in the Bible Belt. The reality is, it ain't gonna happen... at least partly because of my own big fat mouth. ;-)

 

And thanks, all, for the warm welcome! :-)

[Joyous1]

I welcome you as a fellow newbie, though you are further along than I am. I left xtianity about 2 weeks ago, in tears, my head is still spinning from it all. I am already feeling much better however, and my ability to sleep has improved dramatically.

 

When I read the line about Jesus the front man and Jehovah the jerk, I remembered a post by MQTA somewhere on this board about Blasephemy, the Holy Ghost-the holiest ghost we know (sung to the tune of Casper the friendly ghost)

 

We've assembled quite a trinity here, haven't we?

 

[btw MQTO, that little jingle has been stuck in my head ever since I read your post ]

[SweetSouthernHeretic]

Great testimony, SSH. Welcome to this site. I haven't been in the deep South much, but people talk about lots of non-religious normal folks as being down there, so I hope you find or already found a supportive network of people.

There are, but they tend to lay way low... fact is, (and oh, the irony) folks like ME are the ones who tend to get persecuted 'round these parts, not the Christians.

 

As a matter of fact, I hooked up with some "friends of friends" thru a work buddy of mine and all of us are going to meet next week for lunch to talk about our religious experiences and offer moral support. I emailed one of my friends about it, and she said *she* had a friend who wanted to come, too. It kinda gave me a weird feeling... I thought about the cult/church I last attended, how they were so focused on recruitment, and how I was so lousy at it. But on the other side of the fence, people seem to just come out of the woodwork, LOL.