Lilith666 Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Once I said someone who had lectured on and on and on about something that had nothing to do with religion had been "preaching". My father said I should only say a person was preaching if he was a minister delivering the word of god. Other uses are sacrilegious. Also, I used the idiom "killing time". Dad claimed it's wrong to say that because time is a gift of Gawd and we mustn't destroy what Gawd gives us. I actually felt guilty. And "heck" is, quote, vile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 A friend of mine lived with a fundy family who wouldn't let their children have toy bears or dolls because their eyes are evil. Uh huh. What? How are their eyes evil? That sounds a little like something from "Carrie". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedStar Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 A friend of mine lived with a fundy family who wouldn't let their children have toy bears or dolls because their eyes are evil. Uh huh. What? How are their eyes evil? That sounds a little like something from "Carrie". I don't know why the family thought that, but the Father in particular is a nut. He's a dentist. His antics have been well documented: http://www.news.com....from=public_rss http://www.heraldsun...2-1226115494128 http://www.heraldsun...x-1226075415289 http://www.bostongrp... and Busine.pdf http://www.casewatch...n/gardner.shtml Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought2Much Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I wish I had written more of this stuff down. How about the guy who claimed that what we see as UFOs are actually craft flown by demons, and all of the movies about aliens are created to "desensitize" us to the concept, so that we would willingly accept the aliens/demons at some point in the future? Or the same guy who claimed that the Antichrist would be the prince of Spain? Or the guy who went on and on about the "red heifer" that a group in Israel want to create so the the temple in Jerusalem can be rebuilt, thereby ushering in Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ? Or the same guy who claimed that Satan's original form was that of... a unicorn? Or the guy at my church that claimed he had a "visitation" from The Lord, even though everything in his speech and attitude would indicate he was a total fuckwit without a single clue in life? Or the people that tried to explain to me with a straight face that God changed their silver fillings to ones made out of gold? Temporarily, of course. Or the people who claimed that Bill Clinton is the Antichrist. Or Al Gore. Or George Soros. Or Barack Obama. Or whoever the chief executive of the U.N. is at any moment. Or Hillary Clinton. Or... I'm pretty sure I'm just listing the tip of the iceberg here. I've probably forgotten or purposely blocked out lots more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 The website "jesus-is-lord.com" wins the internet award for "dafuq did I just read and SCROLL FOREVER FOR??" I visit it sometimes for lulz. Among the best: The RCC is the Whore of Babylon My Little Ponies and He-Man are heathen idols Infants are fully capable of reading the bible, while still in diapers Television and the internet let demons into your house (yep, a website says this, lol) To be saved, you basically have to get off the grid, keep your kids at home, read ONLY the KJV bible, and TRUST NO ONE. This still doesn't really cover the level of bugshit crazy. It's like some cross between a Cold War psycho and Fred Phelps made a bad website. It's too poorly designed to be a poe. I think, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WMDKitty Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Not nearly as bad as some of the things quoted here, but one that, it's been a good few years now, and I still can't wrap my head around this 'guarantee' of "new legs" -- direct quote, man, "God will give you new legs" -- if I only believe strongly enough in GAWWWD. WTF? Buddy, my BRAIN'S broken, hence the wheelchair, and even I can figure out that's a load of shit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Once the preacher started bawling in the middle of his prayer. Something about "send your spirit on us o lord...we feel your presence in this place o lord...we lift up holy hands o lord..." The cheesiness was unparalleled. I was this close to fracturing into giggles in church. There's a Pentecostal-type fundy who's in the habit of yelling "Hallelujah" or "Amen" or "Praise the lard" whenever the preacher says something particularly soul-inspiring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Stupidity should painful. It is painful, but not for the stupid ones. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WMDKitty Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Stupidity should painful. It is painful, but not for the stupid ones. *chuckles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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