mymistake Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I hadn't planned for this to happen. It was spontaneous. Anyway she had made a series of bad choices (that I will not share) and after I got wind of them I helped her with the damage control. Things were looking better so she called to thank me. We were just chatting about how to prevent further mistakes. It was friendly; a good talk. Then she blurted out that her mistakes started when she tried to follow a prophesy a friend and proclaimed over her in church and she thought it was God's will for her to accomplish goal X. I told her directly that it is stupid to trust God. I told her that the big mistakes in my life happened because I was trusting an imaginary friend. I told her that prophesy doesn't mean an idea will come true. I told her that you can't trust people just because they pray. I love my mom and hadn't meant to be so frank about religion. I think I might have hurt her bad. She is a forgiving person so she will forgive me but I feel horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 7, 2012 Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2012 Ouch. That will leave a scar. At least you caught it, and you will be more gentle in your follow-ups. Sorry it came out that way. We've all done it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raoul Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I hadn't planned for this to happen. It was spontaneous. Anyway she had made a series of bad choices (that I will not share) and after I got wind of them I helped her with the damage control. Things were looking better so she called to thank me. We were just chatting about how to prevent further mistakes. It was friendly; a good talk. Then she blurted out that her mistakes started when she tried to follow a prophesy a friend and proclaimed over her in church and she thought it was God's will for her to accomplish goal X. I told her directly that it is stupid to trust God. I told her that the big mistakes in my life happened because I was trusting an imaginary friend. I told her that prophesy doesn't mean an idea will come true. I told her that you can't trust people just because they pray. I love my mom and hadn't meant to be so frank about religion. I think I might have hurt her bad. She is a forgiving person so she will forgive me but I feel horrible. Of course you'd feel bad because you sound like a decent human being who cares for his mother and doesn't want to do anything to hurt her feelings. However, you're also very truthful, at least from what you've shared here and other places I've read things from you. So, there's nothing wrong with being truthful even if it causes some difficulty at least in the short term. The thing I find the most odious regarding the cultists is that so many of them are just the opposite - they obsfuscate things in their own lives to hide the truth about them. Examples:1. One pulpit pimp deserted his wife and 2 very small kids for greener pastures (geographical change in order to get bigger radio audience and money). His reasoning was that a god called him to move. When queried about why the 2nd divorce, his reply was that 'she told me to move out'. Knowing some of the things going on behind the scenes I knew his 2nd wife was a very devout Catholic which begs the question, what did he do to her and the kids to cause her to go against her own church teachings? 2. Another one, whom I engaged in with some very acrimonious comments regarding politics, put out some kind of bulletin on his website a while ago. It said he was being attacked by the devil and that he was requesting prayer to help. When asked what exactly happened to cause this he replied 'well I don't want to go into details because, sometimes, details get in the way of things'. Yeah, right. But details often give the clear picture of what is happening. In this case, yep, another messy divorce because of another woman coming into the scene. The guy wouldn't admit to this, I found out via gathering other info including the fact that he'd been asked to resign his pastorship at a church. Denying the truth to the end he had the gall to say he told the church he had to leave to take care of personal matters when it was vice-versa. The point to all of this? They hate truth, we embrace it. So, if we really do embrace it there are times when we have to do or say things that are unpleasant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted September 7, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2012 Some lessons are painful. If she's to stop making so many bad decisions, she needs to learn that prophecies and holy pronouncements pulled from someone's ass aren't going to serve her well. If you're unwilling to use reason, you will pay a price for a life left to chance. Hopefully, she'll come around and you'll both benefit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
centauri Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 That reminds of the line from the Matrix: "Most of these people aren't ready to be unplugged." However, there may be healing in this after all. She may become disillusioned. To become dis-illusioned means to drop an illusion and travel on without it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raoul Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Ouch. That will leave a scar. At least you caught it, and you will be more gentle in your follow-ups. Sorry it came out that way. We've all done it. I went over and read your 'jumbled' testimony. My friend, it was anything BUT jumbled. Spoken right from the heart and I came away thinking that you'd done things much more sincerely and laborously than I ever had done in my 25 year attempted walk. Thanks for sharing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 7, 2012 Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2012 Ouch. That will leave a scar. At least you caught it, and you will be more gentle in your follow-ups. Sorry it came out that way. We've all done it. I went over and read your 'jumbled' testimony. My friend, it was anything BUT jumbled. Spoken right from the heart and I came away thinking that you'd done things much more sincerely and laborously than I ever had done in my 25 year attempted walk. Thanks for sharing it. I appreciate that, Raoul. I've actually gone back and edited it to make it easier to follow the progression. I made a few mistakes on my way out, but I think things are getting better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chikirin Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 You didn't do anything wrong. Your mom is caught in one of the worst kinds of Christianity, where people are all speaking for God (prophesying). This is dangerous, Jim Jones type of stuff. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Good for you! If necessary, you can always soften the blow later by saying you were in a bad mood but that it doesn't change the fact that you are very concerned for her wellbeing. I agree with Chikirin--she is (and so was I) caught in one of the worst kinds of Christianity. It's utterly dangerous because people actually believe this "prophetic" shit. It's nothing but garbage, control, and emotionality (which cannot be trusted). Keep being the voice of truth. It may save your mother (and you!) some grief! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I had kind of the same thing with my mom last year when I was visiting. Religion has been pretty much a subject brushed under the rug since my deconversion - at least when I'm around - but somehow we got on the subject. I basically just told her that I'm fine with keeping up the agree to disagree approach, but that it saddens me to think she lives in fear of my eternal soul. I tried to separate the hell doctrine from the more benign things she believes simply with the idea that with hope against hope, I might offer her a bit of relief if I could get her to think more liberally on the subject. We didn't argue, but I could see the tears in her eyes and I just felt really bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 7, 2012 Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2012 I had kind of the same thing with my mom last year when I was visiting. Religion has been pretty much a subject brushed under the rug since my deconversion - at least when I'm around - but somehow we got on the subject. I basically just told her that I'm fine with keeping up the agree to disagree approach, but that it saddens me to think she lives in fear of my eternal soul. I tried to separate the hell doctrine from the more benign things she believes simply with the idea that with hope against hope, I might offer her a bit of relief if I could get her to think more liberally on the subject. We didn't argue, but I could see the tears in her eyes and I just felt really bad. This is why I'm still trying to leave my parents with some hope that I still believe. It's not easy for me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted September 7, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted September 7, 2012 If the Christian is somehow benefiting from the belief and not busy infecting others, I would leave them alone. In this case, however, the believer is being harmed by false belief. In such a case I would try to help them, even if at first they hated me for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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