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Ravenstar

I'm So Angry Because...

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This post is awesome. Right now I am going through the crazy-angry phase of my deconversion and I can sooo relate to your rage Ravenstar.

 

The harrowing case described regarding Mary Winkler demonstrates the main reason I long for all religious structures to be dismantled. Religious abuse is more common than the cold but far more destructive. It can be as obvious as the above or far more insidious and subtle making the victim constantly question their perception of reality. I suffered abuse in the church and the effects are so deeply entangled within me it is taking me a long time to separate from it and heal. My heart grieves for those who are or have been caught up in religious abuse and yes I am consumed with rage against these injustices.

 

It has been a 'Matrix' like shock for me to come out of fundamentalist christianity, beliving it all to now see it as it truly is; a morally bankrupted hideous monster......man, it is just past midday here and I now really need a beer!

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I think that anger is a healthy reaction to injustice and abuse. For me anyway it motivates and clarifies things. Anger is ENERGY and can be very cleansing. I had a therapist once tell me that your anger is the first sign that you are being abused... your mind and body are telling you something important and that it's time to pay attention and also giving you the energy and courage to protect/defend yourself.

 

The sad thing is that a lot of christianity preaches against this kind of anger, like it is a 'sin' in itself. I've even heard them say that anger is like murder... *sigh*... Maybe the church realizes that justified anger is very dangerous to their stronghold over people... hmmmm.

 

I think we should honor our anger... it's a natural reaction to that which harms us. (and others)

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You said it all in that one part of a sentence - I believe that religion should be fought, torn down, whatever... with all the strength we have.

 

This is why I definitely do NOT find the cult funny nor anything they say or do. They are dangerous because they're so deceptive in the way they try to carry out their various agendae and plans.

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I agree.. the entire system is set up to manipulate and deceive.. to give power to those who do not deserve it.. to take advantage of human weaknesses. I think even liberal religion is dangerous, because it 'validates' or tacitly approves the more fanatical.

 

There is no real truth, nor real compassion in religion... and I believe, we as a species, are beginning to grow out of it. Might take a few hundred years but the trend is there...

 

I will no longer support, either directly or indirectly,, that which dis-empowers and denigrates humanity.

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I’ve found it helps to acknowledge that Christians, like the Borg in the Star Trek shows, have been assimilated. They have a central authority that thinks for them because they are part of the collective now. They can do nothing and say nothing that has not been approved by the collective. The collective has programmed their minds and they are now slaves of the Borg.

 

If you did a brain scan on them you would see their brain has been replaced with a micro-chip. When their battery runs down they die and that forces the Borg to find a replacement. This sequence is repeated as often as necessary to keep the collective adequately populated.

 

I don't know, I think I'd almost rather be Borg than Christbot. The Borg strive for perfection as in the "Omega Particle" and not as in some Middle-Eastern dude who tells you how to live your life who may or may not have existed.

 

...I have like...all the Borg episodes from every series ever...

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AND... If there is a different god, a loving god, why would it hide from me? I call bollocks. Fuck faith and the horse it rode in on. Absurdities.

 

I've always wondered this, myself. Why would a loving god force his creation to have to seek him, and even after they've supposedly found him, why would he force them to continually grovel and beg for him to reveal himself to them in some way that we can sense? That doesn't sound like love to me. It sounds like abuse.

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My sentiments exactly!!! Why is it sooo difficult to find his will in any situation...... And today I am angry too to think of all the time wasted searching for God!

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An all loving, all perfect being would NOT make it so hard... it would come to where we are—to give comfort at the slightest hint it was needed.

 

I don't treat my child like that... ever. I would NEVER let her think she wasn't worthy of my love and care.

 

The cosmic hide and seek game seems pretty frickin' silly to me now... could be because... wait for it... he isn't there?

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The cosmic hide and seek game seems pretty frickin' silly to me now... could be because... wait for it... he isn't there?

 

That's great, and it's pretty much what it felt like during my deconversion. The anger you described, I have that now directed toward telling young children they and their loved ones will burn and hell if they do not believe a certain way. Children have very vivid minds, I know i did. I could picture this horrible place clearly and would have nightmares. It took me a while to realize i might have been subject to a form of abuse. Now I get pissed off when I see signs for Vacation Bible School, because I know what they talked about in there. No child should have to live under that fear and guilt.

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The anger you described, I have that now directed toward telling young children they and their loved ones will burn and hell if they do not believe a certain way. Children have very vivid minds, I know i did.

 

Me too, greylight. I was taught as a little kid that it was a literal fire. I remember thinking and trying to fathom myself burning to death, only you don't die and it goes on forever. My little head had trouble grasping that kind of torture. The damage was done early on in my case, I didn't know anything different and had no other concepts to compare it against. I was taught that this 'hell' was fact, and that was that.

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My favourite film religious joke ever. I wish I could do this to annoying religious people sometimes.

 

 

Onto with your regularly scheduled anti-religious rants. Film at 11.

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I am so angry, too. So angry that I am sure my life will be shortened.

 

I am so angry, too, angry because I CANNOT purge this from my mind.

 

I panic because it's there like a disease that I can't get out of my head. It's like OCD and schizophrenia and anxiety disorder all wrapped up in one.

 

I hear my family talking about this G*d and cannot believe what I used to believe. I counter with similarities to ancient literature, the ascension of Romulus, the other gods and they roll eyes.

 

It is a mental illness and I have been given this mental illness, only I can''t get it out of my head.

 

My sister is an atheist, too, who got out early, yet she, too, cannot get it out of her head. Over and over, these dialoges in head, like schizophrenia, this "talking" that was once "prayer." It's a vile, vile habit.

 

I can't get it out of my head and realize this is it to the end. I am older now, so I have no hope for change. I can say that Xianity has ruined my mind, my life, and has driven me crazy,

 

The funny thing, it's a shared psychosis with many others from other religions, too.

 

Christopher Hitchens was a better g*d than G*d.

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"I think about Victor Frankl's, "The Search for Meaning" and many other books I've read that illustrate the true nobility that humans are capable of and I can see that religion negates all of that—makes it worthless, and teaches that we are less than, NO, REQUIRES that people are less than they can be. How much more despicable than, "without god you can do nothing" can anything be? It devalues people, it devalues people and makes it possible for atrocity. Religion requires that we see ourselves and especially others as not worthy... of anything, much less compassion or kindness. If our own creator can't accept us as we are..."

 

 

Thank you for your post, Ravenstar, I am also a fellow Canadian yellow.gif:

I completely relate in regard to feeling angry about religions and how they have contributed to arrogance, intolerance and injustice in our world. I especially found your statement (above) something that took me a while to overcome. It was always drilled into me that "I am nothing, I am not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under his table..." and it was actually a good friend (who is not a christian) who brought it to my attention when questioning me as to why I never take credit for anything I do. I took her statement to heart and realized that I had been brainwashed all my life to believe anything I did of my own accord was 'as filthy rags' and worthless in Gods eyes. Not a great philosophy in shaping ones self-esteem and self worth! I was nearer to the beginning of my deconversion and actually found a really great article on this site a couple of years back that I thought was really good. I am still a work in progress when it comes to valuing myself but i'm getting there! This year I've actually gone back to school full time too - finally getting my graphic design diploma after spending years in missions and working in graphics but never taking the time to go to a 'secular' college :)

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Thanks for sharing this! This is exactly where I am at in my deconversion and it felt good to read your words.

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:)

 

I'm so glad my rant helps others... it's an awesome thing when we know we aren't alone

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There are black and white fundamentalist thinkers in all religions, even Buddhism and New Age. You can see people who follow a philosophy of compassion and the highest ideal of working for others sink very, very low.  I swear these people don't even see how their behavior makes them a complete hypocrite.  We all ought to be very humble who are trying to follow some spiritual path. I haven't seen too much of this - which is why I shy away from getting too involved in my Buddhist Dharma Center. I am a product of many, many years of fundamentalist indoctrination and don't entirely trust myself with commitment.  I am so ambivalent that I often wonder if I should be in any organized group, yet the urge to belong remains.

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yes, I've seen it in the New Age community too. I'm a solitary - though I'll visit the Temple once in a while or a meditation circle. Maybe I'm just not a joiner (?).

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...born again Christians often think they only have to be nice to the other born agains (and sometimes not even them.

 

Since they are washed in the blood they feel like its ok to reject, hate and be rude to "sinners". In other words behave in general like a55es

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The more I learn about some religions, the more I get a sour taste.  It's more sad than anything.  I mean, I UNDERSTAND wanting to believe something is there.  I even understand believing it.  But thinking some book, group, or person has the true answers, rituals, and stories that make up the foundation of ....everything?  I mean it's one thing to have an imagination, it's another thing to reject reality, and give up your rational mind.

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I think gods in an individualistic or a personal or a private way does less harm than an universal, or all doing or even an imploring god when it comes to religion. I do think religion is unnecessary as a whole, when you think about horrible and good things of the world. Sure you will see murderers and sharks devouring other fishes but you will also see daisies in the meadow or see the majestic Milky Way in the sky.

 

I find it's better just to experience these things without a reference to a god or a religion because, man, whether we die at last or live again, living is often more interesting than the imagination! We do need imagination, but who needs to harm others in the name of God when you've got this world, this little blue planet called Earth?

 

It's quite mystifying that you have the wonders of the desert and you invent Allah in response to it. Doesn't a desert have to be loved for what it is? It's equally mystifying that canyons are there yet Mormonism grow up around them. And so on and on.

 

Can't anyone just appreciate a fjord nowadays?

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XTIANITY  The EMPEROR (god) IS NAKED. The difference between christians and the people in the Hans Christian Anderson story is that in the book the people all recognized that the emperor was naked when the little boy pointed it out. Xtians, on the other hand, don't see what is in plain view right before their eyes. bill

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I'm angry for so many reasons.

 

Because Christianity treats people like they are disposable and less than human.

 

Because it has infiltrated my country's government to terrifying levels.

 

Because I still hear the rhetoric sometimes and feel that flash of fear of being lowly and burning in hell despite everything I've done to try to be a decent person.

 

Because self-righteous arrogant men think that they still have some right to control women, children, and even other men by they sheer fact that they are Christian.

 

Because there is only manufactured joy and everything of this world, even "God"-made, is to be rejected if it is not 100% Jesus.

 

Because people think that "I'll pray for you" or "Praise Him!" are reasonable responses to someone in distress.

 

Because they produce really lousy music and poetry that makes me want to puke. 

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