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prplfox

Deconversion Video Part 6

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That was totally awesome. I shed tears, thank you for finishing your story in such a powerful way. This was your best video.

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Thank you for sharing your experience, Eli. That is a beautiful series.

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Thanks so much for sharing this story with us Eli. This connects with me on so may different levels and has helped to be a very thought provoking moment for me.

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A beautiful and important series. I am ambivalent about whether religion helps or hurts people in general, but it definitely hurt you, and I am glad you found your way out. I am not "out" to most of my former friends, but sometimes I wonder if I should post it on facebook as a talking point.

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I watched the first parts of your series over a year ago. They really helped me out as I was still wrestling with my recently lost faith. Thank you for making them. Perhaps line you used that really stuck out the most is "Its okay not to be a Christian." I doubt any of us were told that growing up.

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Eli, this video is brilliantly constructed and powerful in its delivery. You are a talented artist! Thankyou so much for making it, I was deeply touched. It is clear you suffered intensely losing your faith and I can relate to some of your struggle. I am only five months in and still deeply troubled by the experience. It is actually quite trumatic and what makes it worse is when no one around you understands, or even knows, what you are going through. Again, I say THANKYOU yellow.gif

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LOOOVE! thankyou, so strange how much this resonates :D

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Powerful! I've been waiting for this installment. Your videos were very helpful in my own deconversion. Your passion is haunting.

 

It's still hard for me to say "I'm OK" because the mantra of "I'm nothing without Christ" has had lasting effects.

 

Thank you for this gift....

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Absolutely beautiful.

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Thanks Eli for finishing the series. My wife and I deconverted just over a year ago after more than 30 years of sincere belief. Your videos were a very important part of the healing process. We related strongly to this last video as we are seeing the beauty of life in greater ways each day.

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I am not "out" to most of my former friends, but sometimes I wonder if I should post it on facebook as a talking point.

Perhaps a way you could do this on facebook, rather than say anything about yourself (which can get messy), is post this last video I made and just ask your friends how they feel about it. That might help them talk about it in a way that is non-threatening, opening more meaningful conversation, since I am a stranger to them.

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Thank you everyone for all of your words. It means a lot to hear the ways it moved you or helped you. That is as much as I could hope for with this video.

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I am not "out" to most of my former friends, but sometimes I wonder if I should post it on facebook as a talking point.

Perhaps a way you could do this on facebook, rather than say anything about yourself (which can get messy), is post this last video I made and just ask your friends how they feel about it. That might help them talk about it in a way that is non-threatening, opening more meaningful conversation, since I am a stranger to them.

I shared this with an extended family member who is in campus ministry. He let it roll like water off a duck's back, saying that the speaker was "too much info feelings" which are "fleeting" (which is clearly why the speaker lost his faith!) and that "answers for all of the questions he posed are easy to find" (hence, the speaker should not have lost his faith and is obviously not trying hard enough). Wendytwitch.gif

 

Gawd. We just can't win.

 

But then I must remember that I was just like him and would have said exactly the same things.

 

What a conundrum!

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I am not "out" to most of my former friends, but sometimes I wonder if I should post it on facebook as a talking point.

Perhaps a way you could do this on facebook, rather than say anything about yourself (which can get messy), is post this last video I made and just ask your friends how they feel about it. That might help them talk about it in a way that is non-threatening, opening more meaningful conversation, since I am a stranger to them.

I shared this with an extended family member who is in campus ministry. He let it roll like water off a duck's back, saying that the speaker was "too much info feelings" which are "fleeting" (which is clearly why the speaker lost his faith!) and that "answers for all of the questions he posed are easy to find" (hence, the speaker should not have lost his faith and is obviously not trying hard enough). Wendytwitch.gif

 

Gawd. We just can't win.

 

But then I must remember that I was just like him and would have said exactly the same things.

 

What a conundrum!

 

What! After all of that, that was his response? I'm sorry, that is so frustrating. And I have to remember it's not his fault. That's what I remind myself when I confront street preachers who say the same sh-t that I used to say, and if I tell them that I used to say that sh-t, they don't believe me. I really meant what I said in the video about an idea hijacking our emotional architecture. The reactive, emotional side of me wants to get your extended family member on skype with me so he can tell me, unflinchingly, that the reason I don't enjoy the same relationship with Jesus that he has, the reason I am not a Christian, despite everything I did to try to remain a Christian, is because my sincerity wasn't sincere enough, my understanding wasn't smart enough, in other words, I did it wrong. I hate that the Jesus belief so badly wrecks people's brains that it makes them feel justified in making such a disgusting assertion to preserve their own self-integrity.

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What! After all of that, that was his response? I'm sorry, that is so frustrating. And I have to remember it's not his fault. That's what I remind myself when I confront street preachers who say the same sh-t that I used to say, and if I tell them that I used to say that sh-t, they don't believe me. I really meant what I said in the video about an idea hijacking our emotional architecture. The reactive, emotional side of me wants to get your extended family member on skype with me so he can tell me, unflinchingly, that the reason I don't enjoy the same relationship with Jesus that he has, the reason I am not a Christian, despite everything I did to try to remain a Christian, is because my sincerity wasn't sincere enough, my understanding wasn't smart enough, in other words, I did it wrong. I hate that the Jesus belief so badly wrecks people's brains that it makes them feel justified in making such a disgusting assertion to preserve their own self-integrity.

I know! I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. And I hesitated to post his response here, because I didn't want to share that yucky feeling. I've seen all your deconversion videos and in my view it is impossible to say, "You did it wrong". Only a heartless fundy would say something like that. And to think that I too used to be one of them.

 

Your assessments are correct, prplfox!

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Eli,

thank you so much for sharing your story in such a beautiful way. I'm lucky because I was just able to watch all of it in one sitting and it definitely tugged at my own heart. Our stories are very different and yet so much the same-- deconversion is a hugely painful and confusing process, and most of all, lonely. I can definitely relate to the tears and nights crying out and the dissonance.

Thanks for sharing your story for those who are still going through it. By the way, are you still in upstate NY? I'm right across the border in Kingston, ON. Alex Bay, beautiful in the summer, but not good for camping out in the winter! So glad that you're doing better now. Big hugs! Kristen

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Thanks so much for this series, it gave me the comfort and inspiration that I sorely needed.

 

It is really frustrating to hear Xians say that when people leave the faith, 'they never truly believed in the first place'. The subject is uncomfortable for them so they sweep it under the rug with a blanket excuse.

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that was awesome.

 

Very glad you are still able to affect kids in a positive way. It seems you were pretty happy doing it before deconverstaion. It seems you are happier now.

 

Congrats.

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Great video series!

You and Evid3nc3 were both big contributors to my own deconversion process.

I am glad you finally finished the series.

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Prplfox,

 

Absolutely loved the series and especially the final installment. I am so glad that you have found peace and happiness in your new identity outside of Christianity.

 

I was much older than you when I deconverted, but I can see how Christianity hindered my development as a human in my younger years. It took me longer to learn about life and people than it really should have. One of the things I found shocking when I first deconverted was how everything in the world just made so much more sense without believing in God. Figuring that out earlier would have really helped me navigate through my second decade.

 

Thanks so much for sharing your story!

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Very glad to see you finished the series. It amazes me the way you express and articulate thoughts and feelings. Your series brings to memory many feelings I’ve experienced and wished I could put into words. You have done an outstanding job. The music and artwork fits perfectly, and you tell your story beautifully. Thank you for creating this.

 

One part that I thought was a great analogy was when you mentioned someone receiving a phone call that their child had been kidnapped and how that would change their life, even if it weren’t true. It reminds me much of a story often told in the church I attended as a teenager about an atheist heckling a street preacher. His daughter was there, and told the atheist about how her dad used to be an abusive, drug addict, but now he’s a great father. Many christians I talk to seem to think that the results of their belief are proof that what they're believing in is true, but your analogy is a good example of how that is not the case.

 

I wish I would have attended the Reason Rally. It would’ve been nice to meet you.

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Definitely worth the wait! Love you bro, as a fellow human being :)

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That video was so wonderful, the whole series was! I am so glad you posted the last part.

 

Your balance of personal narrative and psychology, history, and science was really well done. It really illuminates how, not only you were operating, but how people in the world at large do too. It eliminates the barrier between people of different faiths. I really appreciate how difficult it is to develop that tone without overdoing it one way or another. Your treatment of your past was also very even-handed. Many stories are either accusatory or reactionary, but yours is brimming with compassion. You ask the questions that I would've had immediately as an xtian, and you delve into serious answers. It's so sturdy. On top of all that, you weave in lyrical prose without sacrificing the clarity of your message. I'm so impressed. I'm actually having a hard time not reacting to my past. Part of me feels like a victim, even if I know that I wasn't deliberately held back, so I appreciate your tone even more.

 

I have been afraid to post anything openly agnostic on fbook after my "coming out", but this needs to be shared. It's the story I didn't think existed as a Christian, and the kind that I desperately needed to hear as an ex.

 

Although highly unlikely, if I ever find myself in Northampton, I'm buying you a coffee.

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wow, this video is superb. Perfectly written and expressed.

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