Ok Enough About The Shootings Already, My God

[Mike D]

Alright, I am really pissed.

 

My brother in law passed away the day before this shooting happened.   He was in a horrible car accident so his death was totally unexpected and was a shock to his family and all of his friends.  So as much as a tragedy as the shootings are, I haven't really been paying too much attention to it - because quite honestly i've had enough death to deal with for one week.  I lost a very good friend and someone who was always family to me, and am deeply saddened by it.  In addition it's a tragedy to his kids, who no longer have a father.  As for the shootings, it's awful and I sympathize with those families too.  But enough.  I can't get away from it, it's everywhere - all over the news, all over FB, all over twitter, etc.  Especially on FB - someone makes a new post about it every 2 minutes.  But all I can do is just skim over it and try my best to ignore it.

 

Anyway my bro-in-law's facebook page has more or less turned into a memorial for him, where people have been posting their sympathies and thoughts about him.  I've been checking it every day, just because it's kind of helping me get through it - it's nice to hear other people's thoughts about him.

 

So today one of his FB "friends" (who I don't know) posts a petition on his wall to sign the "National Sympathy Card" for the shooting victims.  When I saw this I was like "uhhh.... ok, what. the. fuck."  His family has enough to deal with as it is (especially his kids) - what makes this person think anyone wants this to deal with on top of their own loss?  And guess what.....  dead people don't sign petitions.....they're dead!

 

To me this seems really inappropriate and spammy, even bordering on offensive.

 

Do I have a right to be upset about this, or am I wrong???

[mymistake]

Again, I am sorry to hear of your loss.

 

You have the right to be upset about anything that upsets you.  You have the right to experience your emotions. 

[Deva]

I'm sorry to hear about your brother-in-law.  My condolences.

 

Seems there is plenty of suffering to go around. Maybe we should all take a media break with the Connecticut event. It is just amazing. The 24 hour a day coverage (some of it wrong info) is over the top.

 

I think you certainly do have a right to be upset - but consider - how is this affecting you?  Its an ignorant and misguided thing, but the person's intentions, however misguided, were to comfort people and that is in the right place.   If I were  you, I would minimize the stuff you get from this "friend".

[LivingLife]

Sorry for your loss, but that is simply over the top. tell him to fuck off.

[Mike D]

Thanks I appreciate it.

 

I guess what I am really asking, is does anyone else think the FB post is inappropriate?  I actually commented to the person I thought it was, but I don't know if others will think I am being a dick or something. 

[Galien]

Half of the stuff on FB is offensive. I think you need to be respected during your grieving and that people need to realise your personal grief is much more important than the national grief being experienced.

[mymistake]

Yes.  I would have just blocked they guy or unfriended him.  Not much else you can do with people like that.  Explaining to them how life works usually is a waste.

[NeverAgainV]

My condolences on your loss. ((hug))

 

I think what the guy posted is inappropriate because you are trying to get through your own tragedy.  He is probably unaware of your BILs tragic passing because he posted the petition on the FB page of a recently deceased person.

Who would do that?

His intentions were obviously good, but I think it's natural to be upset by it.

 

However, if the circumstances were different, you probably would not have been so offended.

[Mike D]

Thanks for all the feedback, at least I know it's not just me over-reacting or being overly sensitive to the situation (although I suppose I am a little sensitive at the moment to anything that appears even remotely disrespectful to him).

 

I think what also kind of set me off is i've noticed an increasing, somewhat disturbing trend of "like-button whores" that do nothing but pimp highly emotional topics all day (like the school shooting) and then post shit like "LIKE THIS POST IF YOU THINK PEOPLE WHO SHOOT LITTLE KIDS IN THE FACE ARE MONSTERS" with a photo of crying kids  (well, who the fuck wouldn't think that???), for no other reason than to keep the "likes" coming in, and maybe even get a back-slapping comments of agreement from idiots who don't realize they are being played by someone who really needs to get a life.  I am not saying the person who made that post is a FB troll, but I don't want to chance my BIL's memorial page shittered up by that if it is.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

Anyway my bro-in-law's facebook page has more or less turned into a memorial for him, where people have been posting their sympathies and thoughts about him.  I've been checking it every day, just because it's kind of helping me get through it - it's nice to hear other people's thoughts about him.

I'm glad facebook is able to provide this kind of memorial for you and your family. My sympathies to all of you.

 

I can certainly understand your annoyance at the person who posted the "National Sympathy Card," and the fact that you can't get away from the news of the shooting. Perhaps a "media fast" -- your BIL's facebook page excepted -- could be helpful for a while.

[Japedo]

My deepest sympathy's Mike,  I'm very sorry for this horrific and devastating  loss, and my thoughts are extended to your entire family and friends that this tragedy has touched. .I'm sorry I don't have better or more comforting words.    

 

  Some of those Facebook things Spam, Sometimes by signing petitions, cards, or even some games publishes things to everyone on your list or chooses random people on your friends list if you don't uncheck  a box or something.   I'm not saying that's what happened, but it's possible.

 

  I have a couple of FB that have passed over the years and while their walls are filled with remember whens and I miss you's theirs also those nauseating petitions, games and other spam worthy things.  I honestly don't think the particular sender does it on purpose, I think many just don't know to uncheck the box or hit cancel.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

I can totally see why you're pissed, I would be too. Sorry for your loss. I'm not suprised it won't end, being how people will get so sensationalized about something just because its on the media. Though something more close to home and tragic happens, if its not on the media, its not important.

[SeekMyWayHom]

Again, I am sorry to hear of your loss.

 

You have the right to be upset about anything that upsets you.  You have the right to experience your emotions. 

 

o-o-o-o - so well said.  thank you.

[blackpudd1n]

I've been kind of glossing over a lot of the coverage, but for a different reason- it's disrespectful on so many levels. One of the basic understandings that we have as a society is that grief is private. Out of respect, we provide people with some space and time, and try to intrude as little as possible on their grieving process. How can the families of the school shooting do so if everyone is constantly in their face, talking about them, reporting about them, etc.? 

 

As for how you're feeling, Mike, I think you have a legitimate right to be upset. The post about the shootings was not only thoughtless, it's basically akin to telling you that your personal tragedy is not as important or as relevant as the shooting. Like this person thinks there is a scale of tragedy or something, and the shooting is higher on the scale than your own personal grief and the grief of everyone who knew and loved your brother-in-law.

 

So yeah, it is rude, and it is insensitive. And not just to you and those that loved your brother-in-law, but also the families of the victims of the shootings.

[par4dcourse]

I empathize, Mike. FB is a brutal place.

My anger lies in the fact that other than a flurry of questionable FB posts and endless news media sensationalism, nothing is being accomplished. 

The talking heads keep talking and a week later life still goes on as usual.

And we have the usual public response: wow, that was terrible. Somebody somewhere needs to do something. 

12/14 made me lose the small hope I had for our society. No apocolyse, Climate is going to hell, murder and mass shootings almost daily. Life on earth is working diligently to kill itself, and we're just going to sit here like  rats on a shit heap and watch it happen.

[msipsy218]

I don't think you are being a dick in saying something. I think it was a very disrespectful thing for that person to do if it wasn't an accident or spam.

 

I'm so sorry about your brother-in-law.