The Motherf*cking Catholic F*cking Church

[Jose]

So, I still keep in touch with a couple of my Catholic school friends, one of which was the daughter of my old math teacher. Well, I really liked my old math teacher, so I asked my friend to have her mom give me a call.

 

I get a call at work yesterday from my old teacher and after we catch up for a bit, she mentions that her daughter told her that I was an atheist. I'm like, "Yep."

She also says that she remembers getting a letter from the Archdiocese requesting information about me in 2005. So I'm like, "I've been excommunicated since 1999... why are they asking about me?"

 

She tells me that when Darth Sidious took over for JP2, he reworded the catechism so that only a doctor performing the abortion and the woman receiving it would be excommunicated. The driver of the car, the person funding it, and the nurses attending it would be held blameless, although they would be encouraged to go to confession and/ or choose another line of work.

 

I'm like, "So, I'm not excommunicated?" She says, "No, everyone who was excommunicated latæ sententiæ for participation via funds or support in an abortion has now been reconciled with the church."

 

Here is the doctrine:

 

"Formal cooperation in an abortion constitutes a grave offense. The Church attaches the canonical penalty of excommunication to this crime against human life. "A person who procures a completed abortion incurs excommunication latae sententiae," [CIC, can. 1398] "by the very commission of the offense," [CIC, can. 1314] and subject to the conditions provided by Canon Law. [Cf. CIC, cann. 1323-1324] The Church does not thereby intend to restrict the scope of mercy. Rather, she makes clear the gravity of the crime committed, the irreparable harm done to the innocent who is put to death, as well as to the parents and the whole of society." (C.C.C. # 2272)"

 

The word changed was, "formal."

 

So I just finished the following letter and dropped it in the mail...

 

 

 

January 25^th, 2013

 

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

It has recently come to my attention that I have been "reconciled" with the church for almost seven years because of a rewording of doctrine. This is after being excommunicated during what was one of the most difficult times of my life.

 

I was excommunicated latæ sententiæ in 1999 for participating in an abortion, which denied me salvation through the Catholic church as stated by Pope John Paul II, in his role as the Infallible interpreter of the will of God. In 2005, Pope Benedict XVI changed the wording of this Infallible document, thereby rendering my actions blameless in the eyes of God.

 

Your attempt at reconciliation is too little and far, far too late. During the time the Church should have been helping me and supporting me, I was left adrift and alone. I had no choice but to study the bible without the guidance and interpretation of its mysteries by the Catholic Church.

 

Unfortunately for the Church; I, like most of those who study the bible seriously, am now an atheist.

 

I do hereby renounce all the trappings of religion. I renounce all blessings, benefits, graces, sanctification, and advantages supposedly conferred on me by any religion or by any religious act done by me or on my behalf in the past, present, or future.

 

I reject the Nicene Creed and all of its precepts and professions of faith.

 

I condemn as monstrous the idea of original sin, and renounce any baptism done on my behalf to wash it away. I reject as ridiculous the idea of an atoning sacrifice and spurn its presumed benefits. I do not believe that any god, supernatural realm, or afterlife exists, and I will not act as if they did. I do not believe that any book, building, place, person, thing or action is holy, and will not pretend that they are. I do not think that praying is anything more than talking to oneself and will not make believe that it is. I do not believe that any person is more sanctified than any other, or that any human being should be elevated above another in any way, due to ancestry, race, gender, occupation, belief, or for any other reason and will not feign that I do.

 

In addition; I am an apostate, a blasphemer against the holy spirit, and a heretic. I will continue to lead others away from your irrational faith as often as I can and I claim the title of “anathema” with pride. I am fully aware that my actions and subsequent admission of apostasy and heresy will now result in my excommunication ferendæ sententiæ once this letter has been read by a bishop, and I welcome the removal of the Catholic Church from my life and for all time.

 

My baptism was performed September 3, 1974 at Holy Name of Mary Catholic Church in Algiers, LA. My confirmation was performed by then-bishop Phillip M. Hannon (deceased) and Fr. Richard N. Maughan at Visitation of Our Lady church in Marrero, LA in 1987. My full name is Jose Gustavo Valdes Jr. and I do hereby reject my confirmation name of Gabriel and regret having ever participated in such a farcical event.

 

My father’s name is Jose Gustavo Valdes. My mother is Bonnie Lynn Valdes and her maiden name was Bonnie Lynn XXXXXXX.

 

As a principled person and a rational being, it pains me that someone, somewhere may be counting me as an adherent of an irrational superstition which has done, and is continuing to do, irreparable harm to humanity and one with which I profoundly disagree.

 

Please remove my name from the roster of the church, and record that I am no longer a Roman Catholic. Please send me confirmation of this action to the return address listed on Page 3 of this letter.

 

Please do this as soon as possible.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jose Gustavo Valdes Jr.

[pratt]

wow,,, nice letter,,, hope you get another autograph from the new pope,,,

 

cheers

[Thurisaz]

Dafuq...

[Jose]

If it's a canonical sentence I'll most likely get a letter from the archbishop who pronounces the sentence in council.

 

Whatever, I just hate the way they fuck with people.

 

"This document is infallible!"

 

"This document has been reworded to be MORE infallible."

[KBB]

How would they know if anyone participated in an abortion?  I'm pretty sure patient confidentiality applies to Catholics as well.

[Jose]

Like a good Catholic I went to confession at the time. Which the priest then stopped, said, "I cannot grant you absolution for this sin." and forwarded the salient points the bishop.

 

Fast forward several months and I was excommunicated. Letter from the Vatican outlining the reasons and everything.

 

 

Canon 1398: “A person who procures a completed abortion incurs a latae sententiae excommunication.”

Canon 751: “Heresy is the obstinate denial or obstinate doubt after the reception of baptism of some truth which is to be believed by divine and Catholic faith; apostasy is the total repudiation of the Christian faith; schism is the refusal of submission to the Supreme Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him.”

Canon 1364 §1: “an apostate from the faith, a heretic, or a schismatic incurs a latae sententiae excommunication.”

The phrase “latae sententiae” means a judgment or sentence which is 'wide' (latae) or widely applied; it refers to a type of excommunication which is automatic. Such a sentence of excommunication is incurred “by the very commission of the offense,” (CCC 2272) and does not require the future particular judgment of a case by competent authority.

Apostasy, heresy, and schism are all offences which incur a sentence of excommunication automatically. Heresy is the obstinate denial of any truth of the Catholic faith, on a matter of faith or morals, which has been definitively taught by the Magisterium. The Magisterium has repeatedly and definitively taught that abortion is always gravely immoral. (CCC 2270 to 2275)

Pope John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae, n. 57: “Therefore, by the authority which Christ conferred upon Peter and his Successors, and in communion with the Bishops of the Catholic Church, I confirm that the direct and voluntary killing of an innocent human being is always gravely immoral. This doctrine, based upon that unwritten law which man, in the light of reason, finds in his own heart (cf. Rom 2:14-15), is reaffirmed by Sacred Scripture, transmitted by the Tradition of the Church and taught by the ordinary and universal Magisterium.”

Obtaining an Abortion

Any Catholic who deliberately and knowingly obtains a procured abortion commits a mortal sin and is also automatically excommunicated, under canon 1398.

Under the laws of secular society, if one person commits a crime, then anyone who deliberately and knowingly provides essential or substantial means for that person to commit that crime is called an accessory to that crime and is also subject to the penalties of law. Similarly, any Catholic who deliberately and knowingly provides essential or substantial means for any woman to procure an abortion also commits a mortal sin and also incurs the same sentence of excommunication.

Any Catholic who substantially assists another in the deliberate sin of abortion is also guilty of serious sin and also incurs a latae sententiae excommunication.
 

[msipsy218]

wow. I'm so glad I was never catholic. what a mess.

[Ravenstar]

Jose...  

 

That was awesome

[Jose]

I borrowed (stole) some of the text in the letter from a request for excommunication that a Mormon posted in response to a question about excommunication in another forum.

Specifically...

 

I condemn as monstrous the idea of original sin, and renounce any baptism done on my behalf to wash it away. I reject as ridiculous the idea of an atoning sacrifice and spurn its presumed benefits. I do not believe that any god, supernatural realm, or afterlife exists, and I will not act as if they did. I do not believe that any book, building, place, person, thing or action is holy, and will not pretend that they are. I do not think that praying is anything more than talking to oneself and will not make believe that it is. I do not believe that any person is more sanctified than any other, or that any human being should be elevated above another in any way, due to ancestry, race, gender, occupation, belief, or for any other reason and will not feign that I do.

 

Wish I could remember where it was or I'd give full credit.

 

The line, "I condemn as monstrous..." just really said it all. It is a horrible thing the church teaches, "You were born broken."

[Ravenstar]

hey, great minds think alike...

 

Post the response when it comes in... I'd love to see that. Do you really think you'll get one?

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

That was weird... Now its gone. Glitchy glitchy...

 

Their usage of the english language is infallible for sure.

 

More infallible doesn't make sense. How can you have more or less than an absolute? I can't say "I have less nothing than I did before", or that god is more "omnipotent", then again, logic and any independant thought goes out the window with these guys first....

[mymistake]

Jose, you are my hero.

 

 

 

LOL as if God changes His unchanging mind every time there is a new pope.

[Jose]

@Ravenstar - I'll most likely get a response, even if it's a sort-of "Are you sure?" letter. The Catholic church would still burn people at the stake if they could, so the charges of apostasy and heresy must be investigated by a bishop... not to see if they're true, but to see if it's really me saying this and not an enemy of mine trying to deny me salvation.

 

mymistake - Yeah, it's great. Unchanging, eternal God. Creator of the entire universe, perfect by definition... forgot a word.

 

Luckily Pope Sidious has a better grasp of the nuances of language... THAN GOD.

 

 

 

I think what really got me is that they made such a big deal out of my exommunication the first time, but the reconciliation I had to find out by chance.

What if weren't friends with her? What if she were still a math teacher instead of the principal of the school now? Would I have been reconciled unknowingly the rest of my life?

 

Assholes.

[MissingLink]

Wow, Jose - your letter is awesome!! 

 

I only found this site a month ago, and since then I have read so many great posts and stories that have strengthened and validated my deconversion, but yours today is just incredible.....

 

I belonged to a protestant denomination (united methodist), and so I only have a superficial knowledge of catholic doctrine.  I didn't realize they still actually excommunicated people.  The arrogance of that is astounding!  And all I can think is, they excommunicated YOU, but evidently NOT the thousands of pedophile priests who destroyed the lives of untold numbers of abused children!!!  That is just mind-blowing to me! 

 

Thankfully it led to or hastened your departure from religion, but I can only imagine how devastating it was at the time. 

 

Anyway - that really is an amazing letter....thank you for sharing it.....

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

Don't forget Julilyn, commit homosexual acts and you'll be excommunicated too. Because consensual sex is bad, you can only have sex if the papacy consents to it.

[Denyoz]

I'll most likely get a response, even if it's a sort-of "Are you sure?" letter.

 

Good, give them some work to do.  During this time they won't be raping altar boys.

[Fernweh]

wow....Catholicism is ever werider than I could have ever imagined.

[Chikirin]

My dad was inducted into the MOrmon church when he was a kid. They performed a weird ritual and told him he was officially mormon then he never heard from the m again. He gets angry knowing that his name is in some membership book in Salt Lake City, he keeps vowing and then forgetting to write them and have them remove his name.

[buffettphan]

Hmmm.... wonder if I'm back in their good graces too?   I'm supposedly excommunicated because I committed the horrible sin of using birth control pills for years, even before marriage.   Bad girl!   Then I got fixed.  Super Bad Girl!    I didn't get an autographed letter from the pope though.  I was supposedly in a state of "de-facto excommunication"  whatever the fuck that means.... 

 

 

 I suppose the church might have to do a lot of back-pedaling on the abortion issue now that "U.S. Catholic bishops review lawsuit saying fetuses not people"

 

 

Three Colorado bishops said on Thursday they will review a Catholic Church hospital's defense of a lawsuit that argues fetuses do not have legal status - apparently contradicting the Church's teaching on life issues.

 

The case stems from a malpractice and wrongful death lawsuit filed by Jeremy Stodghill in the 2006 death of his seven-month pregnant wife Lori at a Catholic hospital in Canon City, Colorado. Her twin fetuses also died.

 

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-01-25/news/sns-rt-us-colorado-fetusesbre90o08o-20130124_1_twin-fetuses-wrongful-death-lawsuit-bishops

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, fetuses are people, unless the Church gets sued for letting fetuses die....

But when it came to mounting a defense in the Stodghill case, Catholic Health’s lawyers effectively turned the Church directives on their head. 

Catholic organizations have for decades fought to change federal and state laws that fail to protect “unborn persons,”

 and Catholic Health’s lawyers in this case had the chance to set precedent bolstering anti-abortion legal arguments. Instead, they are arguing state law protects doctors from liability concerning unborn fetuses on grounds that those fetuses are not persons with legal rights.

 

http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/catholics-argue-that-fetuses-are-people-unless-it-costs-the-church-money/

 

 

The Almighty Dollar speaks!

 

 

ETA the second quote/link

[mymistake]

wow....Catholicism is ever werider than I could have ever imagined.

 

You should watch the "I have a book!" ritual during mass.       See?  I have a book!  I'm going to march!  This is my book.    Can you see my book?  Marching . . . Marching . . . Marching.  I have a book! 

 

 

 

So at the appointed time a low ranking priest in fancy robes stands up.  He has the biggest book you have ever seen.  It's not thick but it is long, wide, covered in carvings and it's the color of a Notre Dame football helmet.  The priest holds it over his head and he marches around the platform while the audience gives a sacred muttering.  Then the priest takes the senic route.  No, he can't go strait to where he is going.  He adds as many twits and turns as he can to make this thing last.  When he finally gets to the podium he puts the book down, opens it and with great ceremony he proclaims: "A reading from the holy gospel according to . . . ".  Then he reads a verse.

[Jose]

Hmmm.... wonder if I'm back in their good graces too?   I'm supposedly excommunicated because I committed the horrible sin of using birth control pills for years, even before marriage.   Bad girl!   Then I got fixed.  Super Bad Girl!    I didn't get an autographed letter from the pope though.  I was supposedly in a state of "de-facto excommunication"  whatever the fuck that means.... 

 

De-facto excommunication is the same as latæ sententiæ. Basically, you don't have to be told you're excommunicated, if you know that what you're about to do carries excommunication as an ecclesiastical punishment...  and you do it anyway... you're excommunicated (upon commission of the sin). 

 

I'm not sure why I got a letter other than I kept pushing the issue once my confession was stopped at the parish priest level. I called the office of the bishop right after that and (once they called me back a week later) I was told that I was excommunicated, but he would be glad to hear another confession, although he wouldn't be able to guarantee absolution until he heard the whole thing and was convinced I was in a state of repentance.

 

After that, I went a little nuts and called the Archbishop of St. Augustine (who told me the same thing as the bishop, but it took him 3 weeks to call me back) and then I called the Archbishop of New Orleans (Phillip Hannan) who did my confirmation and was told that not only was I excommunicated, he would insure that I knew exactly what I did wrong. Mind you, this is the guy who I altar-served for once a month at St. Louis Cathedral and sent my parents Christmas cards. I couldn't get a cardinal's office to call me back, although I left like 20 messages with his secretary, and then a few months later I got the letter.

 

Buffettphan - You're technically a heretic unless you repudiate the entire faith, in which case you're an apostate. Either way, if you've been to confession since then, you're reconciled with the church... unless you've taken communion in that time, in which case you've committed a mortal sin by desecrating the sacrament... WHICH IS JESUS, YOU ASSHOLE.

 

[buffettphan]

I'm an unapologetic, unrepentent, unforgiven, unreconciled heretical apostate with enough mortal sins under her belt to .....

.

.

.

enjoy life the best I can.  

 

The way they treated you was despicable, Jose.   You and your family had a lot more inter-personal relationships with clergy than I ever did.  I was pretty much anonymous and when I stopped going to church, no one even called me, which suited me just fine.   But of course they did continue sending me requests for money.    I returned one of their appeals with a scathing letter letting them know I hadn't been to church in years and would never return to such a corrupt institution.  I never heard back from anyone.

 

My super-catholic 80 year old mother still insists I'm just going through a phase and will return to the fold someday.  Yeah, mom... almost 40 years is just a phase.   

[midniterider]

So, I still keep in touch with a couple of my Catholic school friends, one of which was the daughter of my old math teacher. Well, I really liked my old math teacher, so I asked my friend to have her mom give me a call.

 

I get a call at work yesterday from my old teacher and after we catch up for a bit, she mentions that her daughter told her that I was an atheist. I'm like, "Yep."

 

She also says that she remembers getting a letter from the Archdiocese requesting information about me in 2005. So I'm like, "I've been excommunicated since 1999... why are they asking about me?"

 

She tells me that when Darth Sidious took over for JP2, he reworded the catechism so that only a doctor performing the abortion and the woman receiving it would be excommunicated. The driver of the car, the person funding it, and the nurses attending it would be held blameless, although they would be encouraged to go to confession and/ or choose another line of work.

 

I'm like, "So, I'm not excommunicated?" She says, "No, everyone who was excommunicated latæ sententiæ for participation via funds or support in an abortion has now been reconciled with the church."

 

Here is the doctrine:

 

"Formal cooperation in an abortion constitutes a grave offense. The Church attaches the canonical penalty of excommunication to this crime against human life. "A person who procures a completed abortion incurs excommunication latae sententiae," [CIC, can. 1398] "by the very commission of the offense," [CIC, can. 1314] and subject to the conditions provided by Canon Law. [Cf. CIC, cann. 1323-1324] The Church does not thereby intend to restrict the scope of mercy. Rather, she makes clear the gravity of the crime committed, the irreparable harm done to the innocent who is put to death, as well as to the parents and the whole of society." (C.C.C. # 2272)"

 

The word changed was, "formal."

 

So I just finished the following letter and dropped it in the mail...

 

 

 

>

January 25^th, 2013

 

 

To Whom It May Concern:

 

It has recently come to my attention that I have been "reconciled" with the church for almost seven years because of a rewording of doctrine. This is after being excommunicated during what was one of the most difficult times of my life.

 

I was excommunicated latæ sententiæ in 1999 for participating in an abortion, which denied me salvation through the Catholic church as stated by Pope John Paul II, in his role as the Infallible interpreter of the will of God. In 2005, Pope Benedict XVI changed the wording of this Infallible document, thereby rendering my actions blameless in the eyes of God.

 

Your attempt at reconciliation is too little and far, far too late. During the time the Church should have been helping me and supporting me, I was left adrift and alone. I had no choice but to study the bible without the guidance and interpretation of its mysteries by the Catholic Church.

 

Unfortunately for the Church; I, like most of those who study the bible seriously, am now an atheist.

 

I do hereby renounce all the trappings of religion. I renounce all blessings, benefits, graces, sanctification, and advantages supposedly conferred on me by any religion or by any religious act done by me or on my behalf in the past, present, or future.

 

I reject the Nicene Creed and all of its precepts and professions of faith.

 

I condemn as monstrous the idea of original sin, and renounce any baptism done on my behalf to wash it away. I reject as ridiculous the idea of an atoning sacrifice and spurn its presumed benefits. I do not believe that any god, supernatural realm, or afterlife exists, and I will not act as if they did. I do not believe that any book, building, place, person, thing or action is holy, and will not pretend that they are. I do not think that praying is anything more than talking to oneself and will not make believe that it is. I do not believe that any person is more sanctified than any other, or that any human being should be elevated above another in any way, due to ancestry, race, gender, occupation, belief, or for any other reason and will not feign that I do.

 

In addition; I am an apostate, a blasphemer against the holy spirit, and a heretic. I will continue to lead others away from your irrational faith as often as I can and I claim the title of “anathema” with pride. I am fully aware that my actions and subsequent admission of apostasy and heresy will now result in my excommunication ferendæ sententiæ once this letter has been read by a bishop, and I welcome the removal of the Catholic Church from my life and for all time.

 

My baptism was performed September 3, 1974 at Holy Name of Mary Catholic Church in Algiers, LA. My confirmation was performed by then-bishop Phillip M. Hannon (deceased) and Fr. Richard N. Maughan at Visitation of Our Lady church in Marrero, LA in 1987. My full name is Jose Gustavo Valdes Jr. and I do hereby reject my confirmation name of Gabriel and regret having ever participated in such a farcical event.

 

My father’s name is Jose Gustavo Valdes. My mother is Bonnie Lynn Valdes and her maiden name was Bonnie Lynn XXXXXXX.

 

As a principled person and a rational being, it pains me that someone, somewhere may be counting me as an adherent of an irrational superstition which has done, and is continuing to do, irreparable harm to humanity and one with which I profoundly disagree.

 

Please remove my name from the roster of the church, and record that I am no longer a Roman Catholic. Please send me confirmation of this action to the return address listed on Page 3 of this letter.

 

Please do this as soon as possible.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jose Gustavo Valdes Jr.

 

 

You aint the only atheist member of the Catholic Church.. haha.

[Galien]

Awesome letter, just about covers it all. Pope Sidious - fucking hilarious.

[Onyx]

Great going, Jose!

 

Of course, you can alway write the denunciation of the Catholic Church in the languages that the clergy only seems to understand: Italian, Latin and Assfucking. That will get you a response.