notaxtian Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 Earlier in this thread I asked a few questions that dealt with a father's role in the family and I want to bring them up again. Does our society still discourage fathers from becoming as sensitive and nuturing as mothers? Are they supposed to suppress their "feminine" side and put on a facade that makes them tougher? If a man cries, does that make him "weak"? To me it seems as though old stereotypes like that die hard. I am a sensitive guy, and during childhood and adolescence I was told by several of my male peers(even a few male adults)that I was too sensitive and that I needed to "toughen up". Sometimes I cry during sad movies. Sometimes I empathise with a character in a movie or a story. I do get in touch with my feelings and I'm learning how to accept the way I am. I've been this way my whole life, so why should I change my personality just because our society "demands" that I do so?
user_0168486295 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 You shouldn't change who you are for society. You are not a weak person for showing emotion. On the contrary, you are a strong person for showing your emotions. The weak ones are the ones who think emotions like sadness need to be suppressed.
Akheia Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Express them in a constructive way, and if that means for you crying, then so be it. Sometimes how we express our emotions isn't productive or constructive, like punching walls or hitting people, and that seems like how a lot of men especially end up expressing emotions because they can't find more constructive ways to do it before the emotions get to be too much. I'd rather see a guy cry at a movie than bottle emotions up and then punch through a wall. My husband's one of the most manly-men I've ever met, but during "Up" and "Wall-E" we both blubbered like babies ("Who cried at the ending of 'Old Yeller'?"). And he's never once lost his temper at me, hasn't even once ever raised his voice to me (which makes it terribly hard to maintain a proper good argument). A man who compresses his feelings purely because he thinks that's expected, that's not a good situation at all. If he doesn't express high emotions much because not much riles him, that's one thing, but don't bottle it is all.
notaxtian Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 You shouldn't change who you are for society. You are not a weak person for showing emotion. On the contrary, you are a strong person for showing your emotions. The weak ones are the ones who think emotions like sadness need to be suppressed. Nowdays it's easier for me to cry than it was just a few years ago. I can now cry during a sad moment in a movie or tv show. I can cry whenever I hear a sad song. I even cry whenever I find out that a public figure passes away. Perhaps years of pent-up feelings are finally beginning to surface. I'm sure that some of them have nothing to do with my dad's death.
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