Purity Balls

[ContraBardus]

LOL! for the thread title.

 

Seriously, this shit is creepy. I don't see how even the most conservative of young female christian teens wouldn't find this both appalling and embarrassing. This is exactly the sort of thing that will lead to 'daddy issues' that require therapy.

 

It's essentially fathers taking their daughters out on a date. Not a friendly outing with family, an actual date. That's weird-creepy on a level that makes me shudder.

 

While on this creepy ritualistic date-thing, they attempt to strap on what amounts to a mental-chastity belt with a piece of cheap jewelry that she's supposed to look at and think of daddy every time she get's horny.

 

UGH. That's something I'd not wish on any girl.

 

It's a disturbing kind of funny that's little more than fodder for the idiots on 4chan.

 

Any 'Dad'  who puts his daughter through this humiliating and degrading BS should be forced to wear one of these until she's out of his house and married.

 

[Geezer]

It's already been noted this kind of stuff is just part of the indoctrination process. It is well known that Christian fundamentalist have issues when it comes to sex and human sexuality. Sinless perfection is clearly the goal even though it is not considered a requirement for believers to "earn" heaven. Repented sins will not be brought up, let alone held against a believer, at the final judgement even though there is scripture that says, or at least strongly implies, they will. Christianity is filled with endless contradictions. The pressure to live a perfect life is truly a difficult burden to bear and it eventually becomes too much for some folks.

[midniterider]

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v189/plastic_turkeys/purity-ball.jpg

 

A purity ball is a dance for Xian fathers and their daughters, where dads pledge to protect the daughters' virginity until they are married. (I don't know how they plan to pull this off, as shooting boyfriends is illegal, but anyway) so the girls pledge to save sex for marriage, and father gives daughter a lock charm. He keeps the key until she's married, and then he gives it to the husband. Daughter gives father a little pink box.

 

This is outrageous on so many levels.

1. Implies that men control women and, therefore, fathers own their daughters.

2. The girls' age range is from about six to seventeen. Six-year-olds are too young to understand what virginity means--why are they being told that they need to preserve it?

3. The bit about the lock and key is incredibly suggestive and borders on incestuous.

4. Little girls learn that they are like porcelain dolls and must be protected at all times, never using their own judgment. Believing that other people have to make choices for them, even into adulthood, does not cultivate

good decision-making skills.

 

I'm confused about one thing: Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth, seemed to think the pink boxes were inappropriate. Can someone explain?

 

"But Daddy, Billy Bob said since you had the key I couldn't get pregnant....."

[R. S. Martin]

 

This is exactly what comes to my mind whenever I hear about these purity balls.

 

I really hope this fad goes away.  Nothing good can come out of slut-shaming six-year-olds.  Or any underage girl, for that matter.

 

I never heard the term but when I saw the title, I figured it's about guys. They could always change the name to parties, just to avoid the insinuation.

[Lilith666]

The purple canister is filled with yogurt.

 

 I didn't mean for this to turn into a dirty joke contest.

[Vigile]

In the south I bet they call these pur'ty balls.

[kolaida]

More evidence that Christianity wrecks a person's sex life. 

 

 

Ain't that the TRUTH.  It does.  And horribly so!! 

 

 

It's already been noted this kind of stuff is just part of the indoctrination process. It is well known that Christian fundamentalist have issues when it comes to sex and human sexuality. Sinless perfection is clearly the goal even though it is not considered a requirement for believers to "earn" heaven. Repented sins will not be brought up, let alone held against a believer, at the final judgement even though there is scripture that says, or at least strongly implies, they will. Christianity is filled with endless contradictions. The pressure to live a perfect life is truly a difficult burden to bear and it eventually becomes too much for some folks.

 

^ Definitely this.   It's insane the pressure you feel to be a "good Christian."  

 

I never went to a purity ball, but sunday school classes, devotionals, and bible studies sure drilled abstinence into my head.  Surprisingly, my mother seemed very disappointed when I was 18 and unmarried and childless (and then spent years implying I was lesbian and how horrible that would be~ 

[mymistake]

 

More evidence that Christianity wrecks a person's sex life. 

 

 

Ain't that the TRUTH.  It does.  And horribly so!! 

 

 

>It's already been noted this kind of stuff is just part of the indoctrination process. It is well known that Christian fundamentalist have issues when it comes to sex and human sexuality. Sinless perfection is clearly the goal even though it is not considered a requirement for believers to "earn" heaven. Repented sins will not be brought up, let alone held against a believer, at the final judgement even though there is scripture that says, or at least strongly implies, they will. Christianity is filled with endless contradictions. The pressure to live a perfect life is truly a difficult burden to bear and it eventually becomes too much for some folks.

 

^ Definitely this.   It's insane the pressure you feel to be a "good Christian."  

 

I never went to a purity ball, but sunday school classes, devotionals, and bible studies sure drilled abstinence into my head.  Surprisingly, my mother seemed very disappointed when I was 18 and unmarried and childless (and then spent years implying I was lesbian and how horrible that would be~ 

 

 

 

Wow, how horrible for you.  Homophobia does horrible things to families even when everybody is strait.  At the very least it breeds hate.

 

 

As for my life I kept waiting for God's plan for my life.  And while I was waiting God kept acting like he was imaginary and he didn't have any kind of plan for my life.  Eventually when I couldn't take the loneliness anymore I stumbled upon natural human mating rituals and was raked with guilt from all that "good Christian" pressure that had been brainwashed into me.  (As if it was somehow my fault that God's plan was eternal loneliness but I was born with instincts that wanted something else)  It took me years to work through all that crap.

[Skankboy]

I love "purity pledges"!  Nothing encourages oral/anal sex in teens like promising to save your "pink box" for marriage...

[florduh]

 

 

 I didn't mean for this to turn into a dirty joke contest. 

 

 

 

You forget where you are.

 

Want Door Number One? How about What's behind the curtain? No, I want what's in the pink box.

[stryper]

 

 

 

 I didn't mean for this to turn into a dirty joke contest. 

 

 

 

You forget where you are.

 

Want Door Number One? How about What's behind the curtain? No, I want what's in the pink box.

 

 

usually whats in the pink box is quite nice at first.....a then out comes a purple things that screams at all hours of the day and night....and it NEVER STOPS GROWING

[Lilith666]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I didn't mean for this to turn into a dirty joke contest.

 

 

You forget where you are.

 

Want Door Number One? How about What's behind the curtain? No, I want what's in the pink

box.

....What? Confused. I must be too young for this place....

[stryper]

ExC , if it can be made sexual....it usually will be.

[mymistake]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I didn't mean for this to turn into a dirty joke contest.

You forget where you are.

 

Want Door Number One? How about What's behind the curtain? No, I want what's in the pink box.

....What?

 

You might be too young.  There were some game shows in the 1970's.  

[stryper]

oh ouch.  THough that show was in reruns when I was kid.  But still.

[Lilith666]

ExC , if it can be made sexual....it usually will be.

Yep.

[mymistake]

oh ouch.  THough that show was in reruns when I was kid.  But still.

 

 

Uh, yeah.  I only know if from reruns too.  Honest, I swear.  I must have seen it on Nick at Night.  No wait, that was before my time too.  I saw the reruns on Huloo.  Yep it was Huloo.  Ya got to believe me.

[kolaida]

 

 

More evidence that Christianity wrecks a person's sex life. 

 

 

Ain't that the TRUTH.  It does.  And horribly so!! 

 

 

>>It's already been noted this kind of stuff is just part of the indoctrination process. It is well known that Christian fundamentalist have issues when it comes to sex and human sexuality. Sinless perfection is clearly the goal even though it is not considered a requirement for believers to "earn" heaven. Repented sins will not be brought up, let alone held against a believer, at the final judgement even though there is scripture that says, or at least strongly implies, they will. Christianity is filled with endless contradictions. The pressure to live a perfect life is truly a difficult burden to bear and it eventually becomes too much for some folks.

lockquote>

 

^ Definitely this.   It's insane the pressure you feel to be a "good Christian."  

 

I never went to a purity ball, but sunday school classes, devotionals, and bible studies sure drilled abstinence into my head.  Surprisingly, my mother seemed very disappointed when I was 18 and unmarried and childless (and then spent years implying I was lesbian and how horrible that would be~ 

 

 

Wow, how horrible for you.  Homophobia does horrible things to families even when everybody is strait.  At the very least it breeds hate.

 

 

As for my life I kept waiting for God's plan for my life.  And while I was waiting God kept acting like he was imaginary and he didn't have any kind of plan for my life.  Eventually when I couldn't take the loneliness anymore I stumbled upon natural human mating rituals and was raked with guilt from all that "good Christian" pressure that had been brainwashed into me.  (As if it was somehow my fault that God's plan was eternal loneliness but I was born with instincts that wanted something else)  It took me years to work through all that crap.

 

 

Yes, it was terrible.  It still makes me upset that she was so concerned about my sexuality when it wasn't even an issue.  I don't agree with her stance on homosexuality but she made such a HUGE issue out of something that really should have been a non-issue.  While I will claim to be bi to some extent (which I have never voiced to her), I have always and will always want a man as a life partner, I have never had any doubts about that.  But she seems to think to this day that I am secretly a lesbian (almost ALL of my female friends have been my "lovers" at some point according to her). I mean, it's really quite bizarre IMHO~ this level of paranoia. If I were a loud and proud lesbian, what would she do? I haven't told them that I'm pretty much an atheist at this point, but I really wonder if it would concern her as much as my sexuality does. 

 

And, yes, I have ALSO been there waiting for God's plan to come to fruition in my life.  And spent many lonely nights wondering where my significant other was. I found this extremely frustrating because while I didn't expect God to just SEND a man, all of our churches were extremely low on males that were around my age and single~ I mean, it was like I had almost no hope in that area. So far sex has just been an all around horrible experience for me.  I wish I'd had it when I was younger just to help deal with the emotions that come with it. I waited til my mid-20s (because of christianity and it's abstinence) and it has had disastrous consequences (for me especially, though I doubt the males escaped scot free) regardless of faith or lackof.  I feel like I'm ten years behind my peers and have to do all this catching up but can't.  It almost makes me wish I WERE a lesbian, LOL! But I could never be in a life-long serious relationship with a female, I just have no desire for that (even though my mom til this day will still imply I'm a lesbian and thus the reason I'm single~ couldn't possibly have anything to do with her religion or the fact we moved so many times due to military reasons). 

[Lilith666]

 

 

oh ouch. THough that show was in reruns when I was kid. But still.

Uh, yeah. I only know if from reruns too. Honest, I swear. I must have seen it on Nick at Night. No wait, that was before my time too. I saw the reruns on Huloo. Yep it was Huloo. Ya got to believe me.

What show is this?

[Vigile]

 

 

 

oh ouch. THough that show was in reruns when I was kid. But still.

Uh, yeah. I only know if from reruns too. Honest, I swear. I must have seen it on Nick at Night. No wait, that was before my time too. I saw the reruns on Huloo. Yep it was Huloo. Ya got to believe me.

What show is this?

 

I think they're referring to Monty Hall and Let's Make a Deal.  Unfortunately, I'm old enough to remember the original. As far as game shows go, I recall it was reasonably entertaining. 

[ExCBooster]

So, in a fit of bemused disgust, I tracked down the documentary that the clip seems to have come from. It clocks in at about 45 minutes.

 

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/virgin-daughters/

 

All I've got to say is: Ye Gods, really? Insane-o-bot circular reasoning here: teach your daughters that nothing matters but what they have to give men and then expect them to be able to say "No" to and as a horny teenager (probably with no sex education) on their own. What. That makes no sense. In other words, dusting off that creaky old misogynist saw: a key that opens any lock is a wonderful key, but a lock that can be opened by any key is a very poor lock. It only works like that if you've got her set up in her, and your, head like she's freakin' Fort Knox.

[Pantophobia]

I love "purity pledges"!  Nothing encourages oral/anal sex in teens like promising to save your "pink box" for marriage...

 

I have a former friend who was "saving herself" for marriage but by the time she was 25 had had more anal/oral than six average people. Yet she still insisted she was a virgin. 

[Sheerbliss]

This should be a promise to Mommy, since Mom will probably be the one babysitting, changing the diapers, doling out the money, and cleaning up the messes (household and otherwise) if her teenage daughter ends up pregnant and decides, against all evidence, that having a baby at this stage of her life would be just amazing.

[kruszer]

 

Same reason they try to get kids to accept Christ around that age.  Get the children to make promises before they can understand what the promise means and then the kid will feel obligated to keep the promise.  This is also the reason that civilized governments do not allow minors to enter into contracts.  Neutral parties realize that kids can't understand.

And yet we have no trouble allowing parents to sacrifice the most sensitive part of their son's penis to Yahweh, long before the boy even knows he has penis, what it and his foreskin are good for, and who the fuck Yahweh is and why he should design such a handy penile part only to ask his followers to hack it off in the first place. 

[Vendredie]

So, in a fit of bemused disgust, I tracked down the documentary that the clip seems to have come from. It clocks in at about 45 minutes.

 

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/virgin-daughters/

 

All I've got to say is: Ye Gods, really? Insane-o-bot circular reasoning here: teach your daughters that nothing matters but what they have to give men and then expect them to be able to say "No" to and as a horny teenager (probably with no sex education) on their own. What. That makes no sense. In other words, dusting off that creaky old misogynist saw: a key that opens any lock is a wonderful key, but a lock that can be opened by any key is a very poor lock. It only works like that if you've got her set up in her, and your, head like she's freakin' Fort Knox.

And not only does this thinking lead to teen pregnancy and widespread STDs, it also leads to wonderful things like relationship abuse and sexual assault.  After all, women only matter when men are horny, and then they owe men sex, and if they don't give men sex they're bitches, but if they do give men sex outside of a very specific context they're sluts and therefore worthless.  It's a catch-22.  And then we teach boys that their penis is some sort of magical tool that can make them god-like, and make women do whatever they want them to do, and that they are owed sex because they're awesome.  In my experience it's painted as empowerment, but it's the sort of "empowerment" that the god-awful Komen Foundation peddles: let's act/look as girlish, childlike, and as innocent as possible, bowing to the patriarchy, and pretend that we in fact have all the power!