SquareOne Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Today I told one of my best friends that I have lost my faith. We have been friends for several years. Together we used to run a fellowship and study group for Christian law students. We have spent many hours in coffee bars and pubs having long theological, moral, political conversations, looking at the world through the Christian lens. Until today he would have recognised me as a fellow devoted believer. And, today, I told him that I had abandoned the faith which we once shared. He is now the fifth person that I have told in total, and the first person who is very close to me. We live hundreds of miles apart, so this was a telephone conversation. I said I would go into detail with him in a few weeks when I see him in person. I am very happy to say that he was very calm, and sympathetic in his reaction, and assured me that we would remain friends, for which I was very grateful. I was afraid (and still am) that he would take the news badly, but so far things are going well. He is very much an "evidence-led" Christian, so I wonder whether in time he will wander down the same path that I have taken to atheism, but I have no desire to force my deconversion on him. When he is ready, he will do that all on his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Glad to hear he didn't ditch you. A lot of ex-Xians say most of their friends drifted or cut them off after they de-converted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquareOne Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 I like to think that I make good character judgements of people before I let them get close to me. Mind you, I guess we all think that! Who knows how this will pan out... it depends whether he has been programmed by the virus to reject apostates or not... but he's a loving, understanding person with a good heart and a desire to do the right thing - so I have a lot of hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeopleArePeople Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I am glad it went so well! I hope everything works out when you see each other in person. I would make sure that he wants to hear your reasons for leaving Christianity before you share them with him. He might change his mind about wanting to know. I think it scares most people to talk about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Sounds like a genuine friend. Well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianime Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 That's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderinstar Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Great to hear it went well over the phone. Hopefully your friend won't be too hard on you when you see him in person, after he has had time to think about it and worry for your eternal soul. One of my closest friends told me the other day that she still thought I was saved!??? Reason being that my strong sense of morality has not suddenly changed since deconverting. I told her god would have to drag me kicking and screaming into heaven and that seriously smacks of calvinism (which she does not align with). Sigh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3DollarBill Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I told one of my best friends that I have lost my faith. First of all...you've lost nothing, so quit speaking of it in those terms. Now, if you truly wish to remain friends despite your differences, then I would recommend that you try to find some new common interests and avoid talking about religion altogether from this point forward...unless he asks, of course. Just don't set about trying to change him, after all you wouldn't want him to do it to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNo Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I told one of my best friends that I have lost my faith. First of all...you've lost nothing, so quit speaking of it in those terms. This is a great point. Instead of telling people I have lost my faith I think I'm going to say "I've found reason." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquareOne Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 SquareOne, on 18 Feb 2013 - 23:09, said: I told one of my best friends that I have lost my faith. First of all...you've lost nothing, so quit speaking of it in those terms. I'll say what I damn well please. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3DollarBill Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I'll say what I damn well please. Well of course you will...but by using phrases such as "losing faith" or "descent into unbelief" (just to name a few that are commonly seen on this very forum) you are playing into the christ-tard fantasy that their belief system is the One True ReligionTM and that we have somehow "lost our way" by refusing to accept their bullshit anymore. Besides... "faith" is so hollow it's akin to nothingness, and you can't lose nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 SquareOne, on 18 Feb 2013 - 23:09, said: I told one of my best friends that I have lost my faith. First of all...you've lost nothing, so quit speaking of it in those terms. I'll say what I damn well please. It's interesting just how different the results can be depending on how a statement is phrased. Or phramed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquareOne Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 I dont use that phrase usually, as it happens. I just used it when I first told my friend because it was a softer introduction to my deconversion before 'everything you believe is a lie'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianime Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I don't think there is anything wrong with phrasing it that way. Unless you assume faith is a positive thing, so losing it is bad? It's not like "I lost my sanity" or "I lost my wife". It's closer to "I lost my phobia" or "I lost my addiction to heroine". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HymenaeusAlexander Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 "I lost my addiction to heroine". This made me laugh. I'm imagining someone kicking an addiction to Xena, Ellen Ripley and Sarah Conner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianime Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 "I lost my addiction to heroine". This made me laugh. I'm imagining someone kicking an addiction to Xena, Ellen Ripley and Sarah Conner. Paha, look at that I added an e. Nobody should lose their addiction to Lucy Lawless though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquareOne Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 I've not lost my addiction to my favourite heroine Amy Pond. Oh, Amy Amy Amy... One day I shall make you my bride. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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