scarfwearer Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 been lurking here some time. I have been spending a lot of time with my friend lately. She and I have been just generally hanging out and doing school related stuff together. I really enjoy being around her and I think she hints at the same(e.g. wishing that I would go to Europe with her). She is an extremely smart (I have had both upper level math and humanities with her) and strong willed in the sense that when she wants to challenge some social norm, she will even if others don't approve. She also is of the let's-find-out-what-would-happen mindset instead of just passively riding through life. My problem is, I want to express my feelings about her to my mom. On one hand, I want to be open with my mom, but on the other, I don't think she'll like the thought of me being friends with her as she is a atheist. Once, when I first started college, I had said something about this other girl I may have had an interest in. She then said something to the effect that she wished me to find someone in the church instead of at school. So it's this I want to tell her, but I think I can predict her reaction and I don't want her to be sad. I want people to be happy. I had sort of hinted, no, expressed diplomatically my doubts concerning Christianity. She said something about that this is a phase that some people go through and that I'll get over it. I haven't brought it up again. She did have me read Mere Christianity. Weak argument that. Brief summary:people are good, therefore CHRIIIIIIIIIIST! And another thing, why is it so hard to use english to describe relationships in a precise manner? I can't really peg a word to describe my relationship to my friend. thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raoul Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 You wrote you 'want people to be happy'. How about you? Do you want to be happy? Does, being with that friend make you happy? If you've responded 'yes' to those questions then the solution should be obvious. We often think we're being selfish when seeking our own happiness but that is simply not true. The first step to sound living is to find a modicum of happiness without going into excess. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianime Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I agree with raoul. I find people who let themselves be happy to be the best people to spend time with. If you constantly deny yourself happiness (not through the use of substances or anything like that) then you are just cheating your own life and you will probably become a bit bitter eventually. Anyways, as far as your problem goes. Gosh, as an atheist, especially since college, I've been mostly attracted to Christian girls (well because like 90% of the girls that don't do drugs are christian). Not to say that Christian chicks don't do drugs also, they do. But of course most Christians will have a huge problem with dating an atheist, and it always sucked. I was always open to accepting a partner of any religion. However, now that I'm growing up a little bit, realistically I can't ever be with somebody who is over the top religious. Our life views would clash too much, I wouldn't respect their beliefs fully, and I could NEVER let those beliefs be forced upon any kids of mine. My current girlfriend (agnostic, but tells her parents she goes to church) did something that still makes me a bit mad/sad when I think about it...she told her parents I was Christian when we started dating. She knew I wasn't, of course. But her parents still think I am, 2 years later. NEVER DO THIS, IT IS INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL. I personally think you shouldn't let your mom run your life. I know it's hard if she is paying your bills for you, but this is your life..your only life. You can't let yourself get controlled to miss out on what YOU want. Because sometimes there are no second chances. The last thing you want is to get to a certain point in life and then look back and regret. Your own happiness is important. Regardless of if you two hit it off or not, the experience and memories will be a good chapter in your life, I bet. And if you have doubts about Christianity, then exploring them openly and open mindedly with an atheist will probably give you alot of perspective. If you two end up in a relationship, don't be surprised if you start to understand her outlook on life and your faith starts to sway. Because when you can see clearly that an atheist can live a great, interesting, loving, and successful life...makes you question I think? This would be your mom's worst nightmare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts