Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I am so stuck, nothing I learn about christianity convinces me to stay a christian and nothing I learn about ex christianity convinces me to stay a ex christian either. Its like I am floating around in limbo, I am tried and sickened by all of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Me too, which is a good reason to walk away from it. It is just so tiring and exhausting. I am still who I am no matter whatI believe or don't believe, and so are you. Depends why you want to get away from christianity. I just got sick of the assholes, but guess what I found them out here too. Some days I would be happy not to wake up in the morning, I'm just so incredibly tired of it all. You know what I have discovered out of all of it, people don't really care about each other that much unless there is something init for them. I don't know how we are supposed to get past that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderinstar Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I am so stuck, nothing I learn about christianity convinces me to stay a christian and nothing I learn about ex christianity convinces me to stay a ex christian either. Its like I am floating around in limbo, I am tried and sickened by all of it. What led you to consider rejecting the christian faith? Is it something(s) that makes it impossible to go back (i.e. major errors in the bible, evil god depicted in OT) or is it more an emotional experience? I ask this because my journey out of christianity began with my utter disgust at the behavior of many christians and the lack of any real answer to prayer while in desperate need. First I tried to reconcile this somehow to keep my precious (at least it was then) faith. I wanted to ground my faith in reality and had been told many times that christianity was different to other religions because the works of Jesus Christ was grounded in historical reality. Turns out this is not so. I was devastated as I wanted to believe but eventually could not find a way to do so when I knew the historical facts were stacked against it. This was an incredibly painful experience for me, it still is actually but not as much as at first. Seeing human nature without the idealistic goggles I had previously worn was equally shocking, as Galien described. Spiritually though I am beginning to feel freer as I explore all options without the threat of gods wrath hanging over me. Do you feel ready to explore all other spiritual options? I am not talking about finding another religion, although it can be enriching to learn more about them, I am talking of a more personal understanding of the universe that leads to a sense of awe and connection. Even atheists experience this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExCBooster Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I agree wholeheartedly with the above posts. Asshole-ism is a equal-opportunity affliction. I've never yet found any faith, creed, or philosophy devoid of jerks. There are good people, too, though, in any of them. Go with whatever makes you feel free, and able to choose your own path, and good company to keep. The good thing about ex-Christian, though, is that there is no cultural judgement attached to any decision like that. It's yours to make, and ours to support. We'll be here if you need us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 If I am honest and I say right here what I think of christianity and its god. I fucking hate it and him, but thats what I really feel. But when I think of living my life for myself, I am so scared of myself. I am in short terms, one fucked up dude and this asshole god wont comfort me. Christians have hurt me bad and made my condition worse, why couldnt these religious assholes just leave me alone. I was just looking for love and healing and I got....there are no words to discribe what I got. Well this me being completly honest. Yeah fuck this god, I am not blind I can see how people treat me here is hella better than those christian forums. I hate that verse that says let every man be a liar but god be true. What a mind fuck even if every christian is or was a dick there god is still awsome A. I could go on and on about the madness of trying to force yourself to love god and everyone. But Ill wait for some replys and talk some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted March 12, 2013 Moderator Share Posted March 12, 2013 It has become very difficult to build community in the West without the resources and motivation provided by religious institutions, but better options are out there. Charity work provides an opportunity to bond with people you serve with. Clubs centered around a hobby can be a great way to connect with people. Then there's always atheist meetups, UU or buddhism... Have you tried any of these options, chrisstavrous? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I thought about buddhism for strait spiritual guidence. I thought more about having a relationship with god but keeping jesus and jehovah out of it. But I thought how could there be any personal god if none of them has come to my rescue so far. I am really unwell and its hard to get the motivation to do anything....been begging jesus for to long and nuttin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted March 12, 2013 Moderator Share Posted March 12, 2013 I don't think a personal God is your answer. You need to connect with other people. When people are unavailable, pets are nice. But a community of like-minded friends is best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Yeah I get that here, I only have one friend in 3d land thats not all religious. I guess I have to be a bit lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted March 12, 2013 Moderator Share Posted March 12, 2013 Religious people can be ok in a non-religious context as well. You would never know that most people doing cosplay at dragon con were Christians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I am so stuck, nothing I learn about christianity convinces me to stay a christian and nothing I learn about ex christianity convinces me to stay a ex christian either. Its like I am floating around in limbo, I am tried and sickened by all of it. Yeah, it sucks. I went through that for about a year. I can totally understand. Eventually I decided I didn't want to be a Christian because of all the Pastors making horrible political statements in the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti. Preacher after preacher blamed the victims and tried to make all these deaths an advantage for Christianity. It helped me realize that Christianity nearly always does that with all tragedies small and great. That is wrong and the injustice finally gave me the courage to walk away. I had been so afraid of leaving Christianity . . because you know all that crap. It takes time to work through it. Limbo sucks but I know of no other way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Fuck me not even christians want to be that honest, you are my kind of people and I fit right in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I did a stupid thing last week I re exposed myself to the bible and a super professional christian granny. Their the fucking worse kind of mentors, I kid you not. Thats why all this crap has come up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianime Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Hi Chris. Maybe don't worry about being something (e.g. Christian, ex-Christian, Buddhist). Maybe just worry about being. Enjoy being you. Think things over for a while and come to a conclusion about what makes sense to you. You don't even need to put a label on it (although I'm sure some label would appropriately apply). When it comes to your beliefs, I think it goes passed what you want to be true, or what you want to believe. If you are truly honest, it's not what you want, it's what you experience and understand. Based on your own honest experiences in life, what makes the most sense to you? Ask yourself this without injecting hopes and wishes into your thoughts. Given what you know, what is most in line with reality? That's where I would venture at least. But I'm not familiar with your specific situation, so I can't say I would be correct for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Ok ill be honest again but this time without the anger, just honest for the sake of it. I have allways known I have had big problems with my life and I was searching for answers because I didnt have any, I thought spirituality would give me those answers but it left me with more questions. Then I turned to christianity in desperation for a normal life, because I didnt know much about it at the time I thought maybe this will have answers. But I knew there was something wrong with christianity when my first encounter with a christian was with a christian girl who pulled her car over on the freeway and wept and wept while I watched on not knowing what the fuck was wrong with her. I should have known jesus was a c*&t for leaving her to suffer like that. But because I was desperate for help and could not trust people with my problems I ended up turning to jesus. What could I do this guy promised healing, I couldnt give that up. But the years ticked over and it was too late I was engulfed in doctrines of promises and punishment. So now I see that I am just like that christian girl weeping in her car knowing for that moment god can't do a damn thing. And this is how I really see myself and christianity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Ok ill be honest again but this time without the anger, just honest for the sake of it. I have allways known I have had big problems with my life and I was searching for answers because I didnt have any, I thought spirituality would give me those answers but it left me with more questions. Then I turned to christianity in desperation for a normal life, because I didnt know much about it at the time I thought maybe this will have answers. But I knew there was something wrong with christianity when my first encounter with a christian was with a christian girl who pulled her car over on the freeway and wept and wept while I watched on not knowing what the fuck was wrong with her. I should have known jesus was a c*&t for leaving her to suffer like that. But because I was desperate for help and could not trust people with my problems I ended up turning to jesus. What could I do this guy promised healing, I couldnt give that up. But the years ticked over and it was too late I was engulfed in doctrines of promises and punishment. So now I see that I am just like that christian girl weeping in her car knowing for that moment god can't do a damn thing. And this is how I really see myself and christianity. Yep, sure is a kick in the guts finding out you are completely alone in the world. If you have serious issues in your life, address them. No god or buddha or anyone or anything else can save you but yourself. Life is a real shit sandwich for some of us mate, and it sounds like it may have been that way for you. Some of us suffer deeply for a very long time, but the only way out of hell is to keep going, no matter how much it hurts or how hard it is. No one is going to come hold your hand, as much as you want them to. I have been through years of utter misery waiting for someone to give a shit about me as much as I do about them, but it doesn't happen. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and ask yourself why your need for help with your issues allows you to let other people into your head and heart to run amok. They are more interested in having you believe what they do, so you can be part of their silly god club. For people with deep issues, there is no help there, trust me. More often than not it will only exacerbate your problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Ok ill be honest again but this time without the anger, just honest for the sake of it. I have allways known I have had big problems with my life and I was searching for answers because I didnt have any, I thought spirituality would give me those answers but it left me with more questions. Then I turned to christianity in desperation for a normal life, because I didnt know much about it at the time I thought maybe this will have answers. But I knew there was something wrong with christianity when my first encounter with a christian was with a christian girl who pulled her car over on the freeway and wept and wept while I watched on not knowing what the fuck was wrong with her. I should have known jesus was a c*&t for leaving her to suffer like that. But because I was desperate for help and could not trust people with my problems I ended up turning to jesus. What could I do this guy promised healing, I couldnt give that up. But the years ticked over and it was too late I was engulfed in doctrines of promises and punishment. So now I see that I am just like that christian girl weeping in her car knowing for that moment god can't do a damn thing. And this is how I really see myself and christianity. I hear you. It sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Reality can be horrible if you think about it too much. You really need a project to immerse yourself in. I have heard it described as a purpose more important than yourself. If you are like me, kind of introverted, it can be hard to take the first step. but you've got to do it anyway. And don't expect the people you contact first to welcome you with open arms. At least that never happened to me. You know that your thoughts are the key. Get your thoughts tied up in something you do believe in rather in a mythical being or non-being. I don't mean to sound like I am lecturing. I deal with the same problems from time to time. But you are truly young, unlike myself. There has got to be something charity or other project which will catch your interest. I'm not over simplifying this. I know it's hard. Just stubbornly keep at it until you find what is challenging and interesting to you. Good luck with it. bill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 For now this forum is my life, and maybe ill open a blog and share my experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 For now this forum is my life, and maybe ill open a blog and share my experiences. That would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderinstar Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Ok ill be honest again but this time without the anger, just honest for the sake of it. I have allways known I have had big problems with my life and I was searching for answers because I didnt have any, I thought spirituality would give me those answers but it left me with more questions. Then I turned to christianity in desperation for a normal life, because I didnt know much about it at the time I thought maybe this will have answers. But I knew there was something wrong with christianity when my first encounter with a christian was with a christian girl who pulled her car over on the freeway and wept and wept while I watched on not knowing what the fuck was wrong with her. I should have known jesus was a c*&t for leaving her to suffer like that. But because I was desperate for help and could not trust people with my problems I ended up turning to jesus. What could I do this guy promised healing, I couldnt give that up. But the years ticked over and it was too late I was engulfed in doctrines of promises and punishment. So now I see that I am just like that christian girl weeping in her car knowing for that moment god can't do a damn thing. And this is how I really see myself and christianity. I am so sorry you have been hurt so deeply by christianity. Really makes me angry to hear that yet another wounded person who believed Christianity's promise of healing opened their heart to christians and the teachings only to be crushed even further. This is a form of abuse and it sickens me. Many of us on this forum really understand just how damaging this is and how dark things can seem when finally leaving christianity. I am over nine months out and I am still a mess in many ways. When people promise they and their god can heal you so you open you heart only to receive more pain your ability to trust is shattered. I am trying to learn to trust myself and comfort myself. It is a slow process but I am making progress. After years of shitty therapists I have found one who is earning my trust and respect and providing me with more tools to help myself. Seeing a good therapist can help immensely but there are many crap ones out there so if you did try I would warn you to be cautious. Having another person wound you like that is the last thing you need. Stay with us. We can't heal you but we can listen and we do care. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 :) :) :) :) :) :) this is how happy I am now thankyou. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I did open my heart to many christians and I was treated like a leper. If jesus said " wisdom is proven by what results from it" then by looking at the whole of christianity could one say, jesus must not have been very wise. Or does that verse not count against the great and powerful OZ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I did open my heart to many christians and I was treated like a leper. If jesus said " wisdom is proven by what results from it" then by looking at the whole of christianity could one say, jesus must not have been very wise. Or does that verse not count against the great and powerful OZ. Christians started detroying me when I was about 12. I allowed them to continue until I was 45. I was a fool to trust them. I will never really trust anyone again. Not that I believe in miracles but it is a bloody miracle I am still alive, although some days I still wish I weren't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Galien, I hope I don't offend you if I say i give the same advice to you. You have me worried about you. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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