Previous Church Being Sold

[Rek99]

I moved away from Arizona about 6 months ago, but like many of you, I still have a lot of Xian friends who will post things on Facebook from time-to-time.  I usually just ignore the annoying posts and pictures, but this Monday I saw a very ironic one.  The post will be kind of long so I apologize in advance.

 

I started going to Church "A" back in 2004, and the economy was doing fairly well back then.  So well in fact, that they had run out of space in the main sanctuary due to the booming population in their part of the valley.  They wanted to build another sanctuary to allow more people to come on Sundays.  In 2007 they went forward with a loan for a new building.  Like most loans though, it didn't stay with the lender.  It was packaged off and sold to some Swiss company and then cut up into pieces and sold to investors. 

 

In 2009 some of the members of Church "A" were unhappy for whatever reason.  It could have been that the carpet colors were wrong, the pulpit was in the wrong place, I can't remember, but a lot of very influential people left and went to Church "B".  This coupled with the fact that the economy was terrible in general, led to Church "A" getting behind on their payments.

 

The loan for this building was massive; so massive that if it defaulted it would essentially kill the entire portfolio of loans being held by the investors.  This led to the original loan company buying back the loan from Swiss, and leasing it back to Church "A" with the understanding that when the economy improves, Church "A" will buy it back.  BUT, the original loan company didn't want to hold Church "A"'s property on their books as an asset because it was fairly underwater, and instead they held it as "Real Estate For Sale".  They assured Church "A" that they have no intention of selling it to someone else, and when Church "A" is ready to purchase it back they can.

 

Since then, things had gotten a lot better.  Church "A" paid off all their debts and they were saving up cash for the lean AZ summer, but then......

 

Church "A" got a surprising call last week when an agent for their leasing company called them up asking when was a good time to have a prospective buyer come by from........ yep, Church "B", to view the building.  Then on March 12th, 2013 Church "A" was informed that Church "B" had put an offer in for $11.3 Million, and that Church "B" plans on using Church "A"'s campus for a second building.

 

So what's the point of all this?  I think it's absolutely hilarious.  Churches try to tell us all the time that it's all about Jesus and that they just want to reach more "lost" people, when in fact it's all about money.  It's all about getting back at those who we're upset with in the past.  It's all about getting another franchise going so they can dominate with their "brand".  It's one Xian Church collaborating with a Xian lending company to fuck over another Xian church.  Church "B" justifies it by saying that "we believe the highest and best use for the building is a Kingdom purpose and for the building to remain a church", and Church "A" fires back saying "No other buyer has even shown interest in the building". 

 

All I know is, while they're sitting around arguing about which of them is pleasing their imaginary being more, I'm sitting back laughing my ass off.  Good for them, this is just what they deserve.

[LifeCycle]

Hahahahahahaha that is so awesome!  Your summary of the events and the motives behind it all is spot on!  They'll use the religious bullshit as their excuse but we all know what's really going down. 

 

And yes, "Good for them, this is just what they deserve," is absolutely right. 

 

Great post!

[Fernweh]

It would be such a waste to use the 11.3 million to help the needy in the community. It's much better to use that kind of money to settle inter-church grudges. I'm sure it's all part of god's plan and vision for Church B.

[mymistake]

It was all part of God's plan that these churches would waste millions of dollars by expanding just before a recession hits.  It's part of God's complicated plan to make it look like He doesn't exist.

[Rek99]

It was all part of God's plan that these churches would waste millions of dollars by expanding just before a recession hits.  It's part of God's complicated plan to make it look like He doesn't exist.

 

You just need to seek him with all your heart and mind, the church obviously went bust because of their lack of faith.  Heathens!

[Akheia]

That's just hilarious.

 

I went looking for a piece in the news last week about an Indiana mega-church in similar financial distress that just went bankrupt, but discovered that Googling "Indiana church bankruptcy" gave so many hits it was impossible to find the piece anymore. But I found it eventually: Linkie about a prosperity gospel preacher's fall from grace.

 

Churches got hit about as hard or worse, it seems like, by the housing bubble. All that bullshit about honesty and living with integrity got trampled underfoot in the mad dash to easy money via liar loans and option ARMs. I've got no sympathy for a single one of them.

[LifeCycle]

That's just hilarious.

 

I went looking for a piece in the news last week about an Indiana mega-church in similar financial distress that just went bankrupt, but discovered that Googling "Indiana church bankruptcy" gave so many hits it was impossible to find the piece anymore. But I found it eventually: Linkie about a prosperity gospel preacher's fall from grace.

 

Churches got hit about as hard or worse, it seems like, by the housing bubble. All that bullshit about honesty and living with integrity got trampled underfoot in the mad dash to easy money via liar loans and option ARMs. I've got no sympathy for a single one of them.

Wait, so you're saying Churches and God are bound by the same economic variables as the rest of us? 

 

That God guy sure does make it difficult to prove his existence... His favor seems to run parallel with the circumstances of this world...