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Got The Easter Blues


BendyLine
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All this talk about Good Friday and Easter really has me in the dumps. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be out of Christianity, and have no desire to go back. But seeing all the sappy Good Friday posts on Facebook made me realize that I don't know one single person IRL who isn't a Christian. I feel like a stranger in a strange land. I mean, I've always felt like somewhat of an outcast because of my disabilities, but when I was a Christian I felt like I was part of a group (although I was still pretty lonely), and I miss the comfort of that, even if it was all bullshit. 

 

For the first time since I deconverted, Easter feels like the anniversary of the day I left an abusive spouse or something. And I don't have any alcohol around the house. sad.png

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Sorry to hear this.  But regarding this "stranger in a strange land," I'm sure that as a fellow ex-Christian, you're fully aware that this is the Christian view of oneself.  They regard themselves as having their citizenship in heaven.  Most of us, however, believe that this world is our home, and that when we depart, it will not be for some eternal hell.  I know that most of the people you personally know may be Christians, but this world is full of people who are not evangelicals.  The evangelicals, by their own admission, are the strange ones.  There are plenty of people out there (the majority of people, in fact!) who are not Bible-worshiping evangelicals.

 

Also, even a lot of people who celebrate Easter are not evangelicals.  I know it's hard for me to relate, since I didn't grow up Christian and have no short supply of friends who aren't Christian.  But this just goes to show that there are plenty of people you can meet out there who aren't evangelicals, and who can relate to you.

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Sorry Bendy. I know the feeling. It was great to throw out something as stupid as "happy Easter" and immediately have a connection (or what felt like a connection) to people you don't even know. We are in the minority now.

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I understand you completely, BendyLine. While I have found some other non-believers to spend time with occasionally, we're really more acquaintances than good friends. Hopefully that will change over time. It's a good thing I'm an introvert, because if I weren't, I would go insane with loneliness.

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Dang. You beat me to it! I was about to post a Easter Depression post. You are right- some of us - it makes us feel crappy. I also wish I could still be happy even if stupid. Well, no I don't. I also have a Dis. and it makes me feel shitty, too. So the religion thing helped me a lot but I cannot go back it. It's over. 

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Logged on to basically post the same thing. All these facebook posts are depressing.  It was nice to see one that said "Happy Zombie Jesus Day!" with a zombie jesus.  But I don't actually know the person and couldn't even "like" it since my feed was so flooded with "He Is Risen" and "Best Day in History, thank you Jesus!" And oddly enough, the people I know personally who are atheists (and I have quite a few) have been completely silent, almost like they just decided to ignore facebook for the day (probably a good idea actually.... LOL). 

 

On a side note, I got semi-preached at last night (at a BAR) by my roommate's date for not wanting to go to church this morning.  >> 

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Bendy, one thing I have learned for myself in the last couple of years is that the brain does not like too much change, too fast. It likes to adapt slowly to chance. The brain doesn't like to be shocked. It is one of the reasons that loss and grief of any kind  takes time to accept.

 

Being told a huge lie all your life and waking up to the truth is not an easy thing. It has taken me a long time to understand that I had been told a lie. Depression is part of the grieving process. I have found that my depression is lifting slowly, as I do not repress the anger any longer. I also do not go around shouting from the roof tops about all the anger I hold inside. I do not beat pillows and cause my body more stress and anger.... I have simply been writing about it ....journaling about it and it helps. Writing on EX-c helps a lot. Having a couple of real good friends who you can be yourself with, helps me a lot.

 

I had to look at  what the world calls 'the dark shadow side' of myself - the side that is not accepted in society. I had to realize that I am different and I am ok to be different. I do what I must do, to a certain degree to be accepted by the world....it is important to 'fit in' somewhat......but I am pleased to say that I am free in my mind knowing that I don't really fit in with most of the world and what they believe. It's not been an easy process, but in order to get healthy, I had to face all the ways in which I am different and learn to be ok with that.

 

Keep writing it all out Bendy. EX-c is always full of wonderful people who understand what you are going through. Don't be to hard on yourself my friend. Go slow and take in all in at the pace you need for yourself. Don't force anything. But do something - anything that brings you joy. When you can get your mind filled with something that can bring you pleasure, you will be able to figure out what you need to do to heal from the religious trauma.

 

I give you the biggest hug today. Always remember that you are wonderful. Remember that you don't need to feel guilty for being different. Accept yourself where you're at right now. Love that little boy who lives inside of you today. Do something nice for him.  Best wishes for you.

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Sorry to hear you're feeling so down. I'm thinking of everyone who's down in the dumps, today. We're here for you, even if just to lend a sympathetic ear, and, remember, you can always microwave peeps until they explode to help cheer yourself up (keep an eye on them so they don't catch fire).

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I had to go to church to day which didn't really lift my spirits (at least I only have to go twice a year now). I had never really noticed before but they are quite offending saying that all Christians were definitely going in to heaven and atheists would probably go to hell. Then they said that we should pray for all non believers and atheists. They mentioned this about three times throughout the mass and every time my mum would nudge and raise her eyebrows at me! I hope you feel a bit happier soon BendyLine. smile.png

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Others such as Margee and Chrisstavrous have pretty much summed up anything I could offer you. We're all in this together. And remember one extremely important historical fact of life - it's NOT the majority who have made essential changes throughout history. It's always been a very small minority especially at the beginning of any change or revolution.

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Hey BL,

 

I've never been there, but It's my understanding that Austin has a fairly vibrant Atheist community. If you haven't checked that out before, you may want to.

 

My wife and I have kicked around the idea of starting our own Freethought group or something like that in our neck of the woods so we can interact with like-minded individuals in real life. There's a few already in our metro area, but they're not really conveniently located for us and seem to cater more to either young singles or older adults without small children.

 

Of course, as others have said, our virtual community is always here.

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I'm visually impaired, and hard of hearing. (Completely blind in my right eye, tunnel vision/nearsightedness in my left.) There are also a slew of other minor issues I won't get into. It comes from a genetic disorder that God blessed me with. 

 

I don't know why this easter got to me so much. Maybe because I'm closer to atheist than I've ever been. However, I haven't considered myself a Christian for some time now. 

 

HA, I've heard of that group... big fan of Matt Dillahunty, actually. I noticed they've got a Sunday gathering at a restaurant down the street from me, maybe I should go next time. I am glad to be back in Austin (had been living in South Texas), and not just because it's a less religious place than I used to live. People in general are much friendly to folks who are a bit different. In Corpus Christi, I felt like an outsider. Here, I feel more like part of the city, even if I'm not the most social guy in the world. 

 

EDIT: And I can't believe I posted this without thanking you all for your sympathetic ears. :) It's nice to have a somewhere to vent this stuff. 

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I lived in Austin for a few years, and worked on 6th street at Toulouse and also at the Velveeta Room. I recall that although a number of the clubs were closed on various days such as Christmas Eve and Easter, these were always open and we always had a reasonable number of customers. It's not that the people coming in were not Christians, in fact the majority were, but that they simply had what you call the holiday blues and wanted to be around others who felt the same.

 

I always did my best to entertain them, possibly even more so than on other nights.

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I notice a continuing theme in my life, gettind depressed on Easter. I think it the atmosphere the day creates, everyone going to church learning about how bad they are. The smiles look so plastic. Anyways I was totally there with you yesterday... with the blues.

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A 61 year old lady was killed yesterday a couple of miles down the road from where I live.  She was driving her car to church and her family was behind her in their car following.  Someone ran a stop sign and and smashed right into her.

 

Maybe not doing the Easter thing saved your life because it doesn't really seem God is looking out for his own... Even on "holy" days where they're making effort to pay homage to him.

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