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Goodbye Jesus

Easter Story Cookies


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We went to my parents house yesterday for the yearly Easter egg hunt. The kids had a great time, and racked up on the candy. My parents always get them an Easter basket. Well this year, instead of filling it with a Spiderman and Hello Kittty coloring book, they gave them a "He Is Risen" activity book. It also came with a CD full of hymns. repuke.gif

 

I was taking a look at it this morning, and was horrified at a recipe it had for an activity to do with your child. I won't bore you with the entire recipe, but here are a few of the steps. (Each step has you reading a Bible passage with them.)

 

1)Place the pecans in a resealable plastic bag and let your child beat them with the spoon to crush them into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested the Roman soldiers beat Him. Read John 19:1-3

 

2)Help your child smell the vinegar. Explain that Jesus was given vinegar to drink while on the cross. Read John 19:28-30

 

3)Sprinkle a little salt into your child's hand and let your child taste it. Explain that this represents the salty tears Jesus' followers shed. Read Luke 23:27 (This one made me laugh!)

 

This is a recipe for overnight meringue cookies. After you put the cookies in the oven, you are supposed to seal the oven door with masking tape. Read them John 16:20 and 22, send them to bed, and tell them that Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. On Easter morning, before your child wakes up, you are to remove the tape from the oven. When they wake up, they can open the oven door, and give everyone a cookie. Point out the cracked surface and have them take a bite. The cookies will be hollow. Explain that on the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9 Go to church and be happy that your child already understands the Easter message.

 

I am so glad that my children no longer get this sick message every week! They asked us last night what we were going to do today. HymenaeusAlexander told them that we were going to spend all day at church. Our 5 year old just cracked up laughing, and said, "No we're not, Daddy!"

 

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Wow. I wonder why the extreme violence of the crucifixion never bothered me too much before quitting? Probably because I told myself X agreed to be a human sacrifice, so that made it all OK.

 

Do your parents know you de-converted? Some Ex-C's have said that relatives laid Jesus propaganda on their (Ex-Cs') kids pretty thickly when they found out.

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Wow, that's super creepy: torture meringue. My thoughts exactly, Lilith666: does anybody within the Christian culture that produces these things realize how disturbing this kind of thing is? Do they believe it so hard that they don't notice it at all, or does it register, and they have to keep repressing it?

 

How about a quick adaptation of ye olde basic peanut butter cookie recipe, to cleanse the palate?

 

Science Cookies (yield: 1 dozen cookies):

1C peanut butter (crunchy or smooth)

1C granulated sugar

1 egg

(Chocolate chips or nuts optional.)

 

Preheat oven to 350F (180 C or thereabouts). This is going to go fast.

Mix sugar and the egg.

Explain to the child that the protein in the egg provides a binder that helps to hold the cookie together, and poof it up a bit. (If you don't want to use eggs, you can substitute a cup of flour (gluten holds it together in place of the protein) and 1/4 tsp of baking powder and a pinch of salt. Explain to the child that the baking powder contains an acid and a base, which react together under heat, and makes water and carbon dioxide gas which helps fluff the cookies up. The salt acts as a catalyst, enabling the baking powder reaction to go smoothly.)

Mix in the peanut butter.

Explain that peanuts are not just delicious, but help return vital nutrients to the soil. Legumes like peanuts are a vital part of crop rotation schemes, and help feed the world!

(Add nuts or whatever. If walnuts, maybe a thing on juglone, an herbicidal chemical that walnut trees produce to keep down competition might be in order. That's why you can't plant tomatoes under a walnut tree.)

Roll the mixture into balls about the size of a ping pong ball and place on an ungreased baking sheet with aluminum foil on it. Smash down slightly with a fork to make them lie flatter, but they will expand slightly in baking. Bake for about ten minutes, or until the cookies look slightly cracked and dry on top. Let cool five to ten minutes, and enjoy!

 

You can modify pretty much any recipe like that. After all, baking's really chemistry in delicious disguise.

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That recipe is really disturbing!! I like the science one better.  Man, that made me shutter and feel sick to my stomach. 

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Wow. I wonder why the extreme violence of the crucifixion never bothered me too much before quitting? Probably because I told myself X agreed to be a human sacrifice, so that made it all OK.

 

Do your parents know you de-converted? Some Ex-C's have said that relatives laid Jesus propaganda on their (Ex-Cs') kids pretty thickly when they found out.

 

Yes, my parents know, and the crazy is in full swing. They gave them Bibles for Christmas (they added their own notes inside), they have plastered Bible verses in their house, and they talk about Jesus any time our kids are with them. The last time they spent the night with them they watched a Christian kids video, and were read a Bible story before bed. What I find funny is they did not do this before our de-conversion. A couple of years ago we had to ask them to stop playing PG-13 movies for them. They were both under 6 years old at the time, and the movies were violent. Big surprise!

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Wow. I wonder why the extreme violence of the crucifixion never bothered me too much before quitting? Probably because I told myself X agreed to be a human sacrifice, so that made it all OK.

 

Do your parents know you de-converted? Some Ex-C's have said that relatives laid Jesus propaganda on their (Ex-Cs') kids pretty thickly when they found out.

 

Yes, my parents know, and the crazy is in full swing. They gave them Bibles for Christmas (they added their own notes inside), they have plastered Bible verses in their house, and they talk about Jesus any time our kids are with them. The last time they spent the night with them they watched a Christian kids video, and were read a Bible story before bed. What I find funny is they did not do this before our de-conversion. A couple of years ago we had to ask them to stop playing PG-13 movies for them. They were both under 6 years old at the time, and the movies were violent. Big surprise!

 

I sure hope your kids are safe from this brainwashing. If they have been raised to be critical thinkers, I'm sure Bible stories and Christian kid's videos will be harmless entertainment as a best-case scenario and totally boring as a worst-case scenario (assuming the Bible stories are not rated R ones, which a lot probably are). I find it a bit odd that your parents would let kids under 6 years old watch violent PG-13 movies and need to be asked not to let them watch, but when they found out about your de-conversion, they SUDDENLY care a great deal about your kids' well-being, regardless of how absurd their idea of "well-being" may be.

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I sure hope your kids are safe from this brainwashing. If they have been raised to be critical thinkers, I'm sure Bible stories and Christian kid's videos will be harmless entertainment as a best-case scenario and totally boring as a worst-case scenario (assuming the Bible stories are not rated R ones, which a lot probably are). I find it a bit odd that your parents would let kids under 6 years old watch violent PG-13 movies and need to be asked not to let them watch, but when they found out about your de-conversion, they SUDDENLY care a great deal about your kids' well-being, regardless of how absurd their idea of "well-being" may be.

 

We have been open with our children as to why we don't believe, and they are not afraid to ask us questions. They have only spent the night a couple of times with my parents in the last six months, so I don't think the brainwashing will be an issue. As for the gifts they gave them, we don't make a big deal out of it. We put the Bibles on the bookshelves, and the activity book with all of the other coloring books. They haven't even looked at their Bibles since Christmas.

 

I think the only reason they suddenly care is because they know we are no longer going to church and talking to them about God. They enjoyed being the fun grandparents that let them get away with whatever before, but now they feel the need to witness to them. I made the PG-13 sound worse than it was. They let them watch Spiderman a couple of times, and they were going to let them watch Transformers before we asked them not to. I don't think anything sinister was involved since they market those movies to little kids. It's just the drastic change that baffles me sometimes.

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Ugh, the torture cookie recipe activity is just sick.  I couldn't imagine eating the cookies after internalizing that awful message.

 

I wish I could make the science cookies with my kids!  I'll have to find a nut-free recipe, though... silverpenny013Hmmm.gif

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 The cookies will be hollow.

 

As are the chocolate bunnies  -- and god's promises. (SilentLoner posted this over on the funny pix thread -- seems more than appropriate here too.)

 

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I hope I never meet the person that came up with that sicko nasty torture cookie recipe.  

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My thirty year old daughter who goes to church told a funny story about her being invited to sit in

with a group at church that meets once a week on wed. night. They play a card game which uses

association.They are dealt cards each of which has a name of a person, thing or concept on it.

When it's your turn, you look at what's on one of the cards and you make an association of something

from that word. My daughter had never played this game before. The card she turned over had "faith"

written on it. She thought a bit and then said, "unsure".

 

Can you imagine? Some guy jumped all over her for that. "What do mean unsure? We're not unsure about

our faith." She responded by saying something about faith being belief in "things unseen" and that

nobody knows the future. He said, "Our faith is not unsure. God has told us what is to come." She then stood up and said that she really had a lot of things she needed to do at home and with a 3 year old

she just didn't have that much spare time. Then she left.

 

I have never been so proud of her in my life. She obviously has not been completely brainwashed. She's got a mind of her own and she's not giving it to anyone. I still have time to talk with her about

reason v. faith. I think she's doing pretty well. I didn't get into it with her today for

various reasons, but I did tell her to be careful about churches because they can believe some really

weird stuff. She said, "Oh, I know." We'll have a lot more talks, gawd willing. bill

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Good on her! Yes, one can have point of views to be certain about, but to completely shut oneself off from other perspectives is to shut oneself into intellectual darkness. 

 

Oh god, those faith cookies are a recipe for a nightmare. Wendytwitch.gif

 

I'll take the science cookie, please. (I'll have to remember that science cookie idea for when I have kids smile.png )

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Aaand, nut-free cookies, done:

 

Science Sugar Cookies (makes 2 dozen):

 

1C butter (or veggie stick margarine)

1 1/2 C  granulated sugar

2 eggs

2tsp vanilla extract

2 1/4 C flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

(chocolate chips, or whatnot)

 

Preheat oven to 350 F (180 C)

Cream the butter into the sugar, and mix in the eggs and vanilla extract. Explain to the child that the sharp crystals of sugar punch holes in the butter and make it blend smoother. The eggs contain protein, which helps bind the cookie together.

Add the flour, baking powder, salt (and chocolate chips or caramel morsels, or something). Explain to the child that gluten in the flour will also help make the cookies hold together, but that they will need more than just eggs to poof up. That's why this recipe has baking powder in it. Explain to the child that baking powder contains an acid and a base, but in powdered form, and that they will react in the oven, with enough heat, to make water and the gas carbon dioxide which helps fluff the cookie up. (Note: fun fact, if you're out of baking powder, you can make your own by mixing baking soda - base - and cream of tartar - acid.)

Roll the mixture into ping-pong sized balls, and place on ungreased baking sheets on aluminum foil. Bake for 8 - 10 minutes, or until they look dry on top. Let set for 5 to 10 minutes before eating. Enjoy!

 

Honestly, I think the baking powder ones are a lot more fun. They really bring out the chemistry. That's also why banana bread recipes call for baking soda, not powder, and a non-reactive bowl, since the bananas themselves are the acid... get that batter in the oven, fast, too.

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Sorry to double post, but I thought I'd add that there's plenty of science to be had in the kitchen, anyway, even if you're not baking. Aside from the tried and true "baking soda and vinegar volcano" there's also other stuff that's worth a try, kids or not. Maybe worthwhile on a rainy day.

 

Vinegar Bone: take a chicken bone from a chicken that you ate, and steep in a jar of vinegar for a couple weeks. The vinegar will react with the calcium in the bone, leaving behind only rubbery connective material, so you can bend the bone with your fingers, and maybe even tie it in a knot.

 

Naked Egg: place an egg in a glass of vinegar for a day or so, and the vinegar will eat the shell right off (just like the calcium in the bone), leaving just the goop inside and the membrane.

 

Fun with Aluminum Foil: aluminum is very reactive, and not found outside of compounds in nature, which is why, even though it's one of the most common metals, it was one of the most precious metals on Earth, before we had a process for getting it out of ores. The cap on the Washington Monument is made of aluminum, for this reason. If you're ever in a time machine, take aluminum with you, and you'll be insta-rich. You can take advantage of this reactivity to clean sterling silver (maybe not heirloom, I hear some collectors like that hand-polished look) without all that awful rubbing and buffing. Here's how: in a pan or tray, place a sheet of aluminum foil, and cover with piping hot water. Mix in a liberal shake of baking soda and salt. Place the silver on the aluminum, in contact with the metal, and the aluminum will "steal" the oxygen right off the silver, de-tarnishing it. Flip the silver, so that each side gets a chance to sit on the foil. Your silver will come out shiny as new.

 

Non-Newtonian Fluid: take cornstarch, add some water, until it forms a liquid paste. It will act like a solid when under pressure, due to the starches sticking together, but a liquid when the pressure is released. Gross, and really fun.

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I'm taking notes on this EcCBooster, I might not have kids of my own yet but I do have little cousins. Next time they come down I think I'm going to try some of those activities with them if time allows :)

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