Jose Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 And what an amazing Sunday it has been so far! I was awakened at 5:20 AM, in true Easter fashion, by the sound of not just gunshots... but gunshots and return fire! All of which happened to the blinding hangover that I had. Praise Jesus for firefights in the street!After I called the cops anonymously and reported the shots fired, I went back to bed, because God will protect everyone. Then my christian wife had to work today and the church group who rented out the WHOLE RESTAURANT decided this morning that they weren't going to go. They lost their $2000 deposit, but my wife lost about 50 hours of labor in setting up the place for a party that large! Praise the Lord! Then, I burned my breakfast because my neighbor wanted to invite me to his church and wouldn't shut up for 10 minutes. God is truly great! The best part of this special Sunday (so far) is that when my coffeemaker finished brewing and I was reaching for the carafe, it shattered! Hurrah! Scalding hot coffee all over my hands, legs, and razor sharp shards of glass all over my kitchen floor. Hallelujah! Happy Easter! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquareOne Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Happy Sunday Jose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wndwalkr99 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Happy Failed Human Sacrifice Day to you too! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Well obviously God is trying to teach you something, Jose. Nah. Fuck Jesus. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Well obviously God is trying to teach you something, Jose. Nah. Fuck Jesus. Of course God was trying to teach him something. It was a lesson on how much of a dick God could be today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Naw. God was clearly punishing him for his sins. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boftx Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I simply cannot begin to tell you how good our smoked turkey was! Smoked it at about 325 - 350 degrees for about 2.5 hours using mesquite. Had biscuits, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and broccoli to go with it. And homemade carrot cake cupcakes, too. Our kids and grandkids all had a great time from early morning hunting for eggs (the dogs helped them a lot finding them) to chowing down. Other than the eggs and baskets this was pretty much what we do every weekend. BBQ and family. Though it's usually pork or brisket. Guess we didn't have any time to fit going to church in there, having too much fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jose Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 If this was god being an asshole, he fucking nailed it. Worst. Day. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I just love that the church basically flushed $2000 down the toilet. If I were a tithing member of that church, it would certainly give me pause. Sorry about your wife wasting all that time too. I'm guessing the restaurant came out on top, because from what I hear many church going people are notoriously bad tippers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolaida Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 I just love that the church basically flushed $2000 down the toilet. If I were a tithing member of that church, it would certainly give me pause. Sorry about your wife wasting all that time too. I'm guessing the restaurant came out on top, because from what I hear many church going people are notoriously bad tippers. Yeah, what the hell? 2K is nothing to laugh at. We do have a church account at the bank I work at though and they make mad money. Still, they usually have a treasurer that stops in (doesn't actually go to the church) and I think he'd be pretty peeved at wasting 2,000. Makes you wonder if they ACTUALLY lost THAT much or someone just pocketed a bunch of money. >> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 God has a plan for this....he works in mysterious ways. Praise his holy name. Couldn't you just blast the Xian guy off the phone with your famous callousness? That would have been entertaining. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new2me Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Man, that sucks Jose. I hope your hands and legs are healing up okay. Burns are the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jose Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 God has a plan for this....he works in mysterious ways. Praise his holy name. Couldn't you just blast the Xian guy off the phone with your famous callousness? That would have been entertaining. XD It was my neighbor, Ray. He was on my porch. If it were on the phone I would have just hung up. I actually like Ray and it's always a good idea to be on good terms with the guy who knows when you're home and when you'll be out on any given day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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