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Goodbye Jesus

Any Movie Makers Out There?


DrNo

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I often have ideas for skits to communicate critiques about Christianity in a funny way, but I have no technical skill when it comest to making any of this stuff. For example, I have an idea about a bunch of 5-6 year old kids talking about how great Santa is and how they can't wait for Christmas to see what Santa got them, when one Skeptical kid says that they don't believe in Santa. The other kids are aghast and start trying to persuade the kid that Santa is indeed real.

 

Santa-Loving Kid: If Santa isn't real, where do you think toys on Christmas come from?

Skeptic Kid: I think my parents put them there when I'm asleep.

Santa-Loving Kid: That's crazy! Haven't you ever read "The Night Before Christmas?"

Skeptic Kid: Yes.

Santa-Loving Kid: Well that proves that Santa is real.

Skeptic Kid: I'm pretty sure it's just a story.

Santa-Loving Kid: Nope. "The Night Before Christmas" is the most widely copied Christmas story ever written.

Skeptic Kid: Just because it is widely copied does not mean it's true.

Santa-Loving Kid: But I feel Santa in my heart.

Skeptic Kid: Have you ever seen Santa before?

Santa-Loving Kid: No, but I heard a friend of Suzy's did once.

Skeptic Kid: Really? What friend?

Santa-Loving Kid: I don't know, but I believe Suzy.

Skeptic Kid: Suzy lied about having a pony.

Santa-Loving Kid: If you don't believe in Santa, then why would you be good for goodness' sake?!

Skeptic Kid: The only reason you act good is to get presents from Santa?

 

I have another idea involving a teenage girl and her estranged dad she hasn't ever talked to. Out of the blue she gets a phone call from him one day telling her that during the night he drugged her and artificially enseminated her so that she could give birth to the chosen one who will bring peace to the world. She interrupts him at this point and flips her shit and goes off about doing something like that against her will, without even asking permission. She proceeds to get an abortion.

 

Anyway, if there's anyone out there who likes making movies or something feel free to use these ideas or add or change them.

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I often have ideas for skits to communicate critiques about Christianity in a funny way, but I have no technical skill when it comest to making any of this stuff. For example, I have an idea about a bunch of 5-6 year old kids talking about how great Santa is and how they can't wait for Christmas to see what Santa got them, when one Skeptical kid says that they don't believe in Santa. The other kids are aghast and start trying to persuade the kid that Santa is indeed real.

 

Santa-Loving Kid: If Santa isn't real, where do you think toys on Christmas come from?

Skeptic Kid: I think my parents put them there when I'm asleep.

Santa-Loving Kid: That's crazy! Haven't you ever read "The Night Before Christmas?"

Skeptic Kid: Yes.

Santa-Loving Kid: Well that proves that Santa is real.

Skeptic Kid: I'm pretty sure it's just a story.

Santa-Loving Kid: Nope. "The Night Before Christmas" is the most widely copied Christmas story ever written.

Skeptic Kid: Just because it is widely copied does not mean it's true.

Santa-Loving Kid: But I feel Santa in my heart.

Skeptic Kid: Have you ever seen Santa before?

Santa-Loving Kid: No, but I heard a friend of Suzy's did once.

Skeptic Kid: Really? What friend?

Santa-Loving Kid: I don't know, but I believe Suzy.

Skeptic Kid: Suzy lied about having a pony.

Santa-Loving Kid: If you don't believe in Santa, then why would you be good for goodness' sake?!

Skeptic Kid: The only reason you act good is to get presents from Santa?

 

I have another idea involving a teenage girl and her estranged dad she hasn't ever talked to. Out of the blue she gets a phone call from him one day telling her that during the night he drugged her and artificially enseminated her so that she could give birth to the chosen one who will bring peace to the world. She interrupts him at this point and flips her shit and goes off about doing something like that against her will, without even asking permission. She proceeds to get an abortion.

 

Anyway, if there's anyone out there who likes making movies or something feel free to use these ideas or add or change them.

 

I wish I was a movie maker, but I'm not unfortunately. However, I think all of these ideas are absolutely great. Maybe with the second idea, if somehow this teenage girl was persuaded to not get an abortion, I could imagine the kid growing up from a baby and then when he finally starts school, turns into some child cult leader telling all of the other kids to not believe anything the teachers say and to abandon their families. Maybe this kid could say he's come not to bring peace, but to bring more violence and break up families. Oh it would be interesting if he gets pissed off at the school yard apple tree for not giving him an apple, maybe he could put a curse on it so it dies. And maybe if this kids' school friends start causing trouble on purpose after he commits suicide by pissing off a bunch of people he does not like just to "save the world" the kids could all be sent to detention for misbehaving and when they go to detention, they cry, "PERSECUTION!" When they are told to stop trying to force other kids to believe that their friend who died was magical, they cry "PERSECUTION!"

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